oliver2

Or just go in the shower as usual? But maybe you didn’t want to risk the camera taking a soaking…

I know, right? But if we talk about this here, mods will object to us flooding the thread with seawater and shrinking all the dicks

In the sea, every time. In the pool, sometimes 😊

Yeah, no, bugger that and the horse it rode in on. All this wonderful variety we can’t normally see because people are demurely wearing clothes… 😍

In repose, in pretentious black and white

It must stay where it is, but shrink. I mean, there’s no muscle or bone there (wtf do people call them ‘boners’?), it’s all done with blood pressure, apparently, and all the rest is the body trying to pull blood back into your body’s core to preserve heat, which is also why swimming (especially in cold water) makes you have to pee

omg “litres of buttermilk” [laughs uncontrollably] ”Yes, this was the kind of ‘extra sausage’ I wanted, thank you [sucks]”

Definitely bigger when erect. I can also report that swimming in cold water makes it much smaller ❄️

If you’ve got foxes in your backyard and want to discourage them, peeing there* is supposed to help, because they regard it as your territory rather than theirs. Maybe cats are similar, except you don’t want to upset your cat. * Alternatively, if you want an excuse to piss outside your house for some reason, here is one

On the dick, or the vegetable? 🙃

Mine was “I wonder whether bigger balls mean more cum…” 💦

Old-timey sexual/personal habits, and old-timey boxing? This makes a surprising amount of sense

Yeah, must be about covering up. Is this a whole habit of uncomfortable but modest male peeing which has dropped out of popular practice because increasing use of bathrooms stopped guys being uncomfortably modest? 🤔

☔

Uncomfortable, impractical behaviour in a porn movie? 🙃

As with scientific papers hoping red wine is good for health, a flimsy excuse to do what you wanted to do anyway, so *dives enthusiastically* mmm gimme that

Drinking at Midori’s font of eternal youth

I need to wee right by your side #mondegreen

Me: 😉 Me: 😞

🎵and dislodging it is against the odds

Yes

A friend with benefits, I hope

Don’t tell us, we’ll go there and piss in the other areas 😈

Oh, don’t worry, you’ve a good chance of enjoining the punishment if you do end up on the naughty list 😉

Nah - sometimes something just doesn’t hit quite the right spot. Certainly that’s my experience, anyway