ppppppp

It's much more complicated than that.

A friend was a guest at a wedding in France. He told me that the reception was quite a distance from the church. So all the guests had to get into their cars, and hurtle off, after the bride and groom, at the end of the ceremony. He also told me that the bride was pregnant. The journey was too far for her, so her car stopped at the side of the road because she needed to relieve her. My friend said she was squatting behind her posh car, wedding dress around her waist, pissing into the dusty soil, and waving at her wedding guests as they drove past her, honking their horns.

Somehow I imagine her being followed by a small crowd of drooling men. Don't tell me you were the only one who noticed?

I've recently remembered one from very long ago. I was the passenger in a long car journey. I was just staring mindlessly out of the window, almost in a trance. We were coming home, and it was a summer evening, quite late, but still daylight. The journey took us through a town centre. We stopped in the traffic; probably a crossroads in the high street. Some movement caught my eye right in front of me. It was a thin stream of clear liquid arcing through the air, pouring into a slat in a cast-iron drain in the gutter in the street. Suddenly I was alert again. I was staring at the so

I generally reckon that St Patrick's day (17 March) normally marks the start of the pee season in the northern hemisphere. But so far this year, I've not seen any shots or reports from any St Paddy's celebrations.

I was on a beach, abroad, building a sand castle. A young girl came over to see what I was doing. We didn't speak the same language. She was completely naked, but too young to be shy about it. She needed the toilet, and just went, standing in front of me, spraying my sand castle. At that age I was used to seeing girls undressed at school, and they used to leave the cubicle door open when they used the toilet. I was intrigued for two reasons. Firstly, I thought that girls had to sit down to wee. I hadn't known they could do it standing up. Secondly, it was the best view I'd ever had ho