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Brutus

Member
  • Content count

    624
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

884 Outstanding

6 Followers

About Brutus

  • Rank
    Forum Legend
  • Birthday 01/02/1989

Personal Information

  • Gender
    Straight Male
  • Occupation
    financial analyst
  • About Me
    I'm mostly an introvert. I work a calm, albeit often stressful office job. I also like to draw, write, discover new music, videogames, reading and learning new things.

Pee Profile

  • Favourite Thing About Pee
    The sound of a woman's hissing. So beautiful.

Recent Profile Visitors

3,552 profile views
  1. Brutus

    Saying Goodbye

    I just logged back in to show appreciation to the incredible responses and to tie a few things up. Thank you all so much! Hope to return one day.
  2. Brutus

    Saying Goodbye

    I reached a turning point in my life today. A situation at work resulted in a coworker needing me to swap scheduled days off, so I took today and came back home shortly after arriving this morning to use today as my off day. At first I was pissed that this happened. When I got home, I started my pc and dove back into my porn, all 8 tabs, which is my usual amount to have open before my ram chokes and can't take any more tabs. I binged on it for 3 hours and finished with a quick jerk like always. Afterward, I laid down and felt a wave of depression hit me all the sudden and I started crying. The denial of my addiction finally broke in front of me. I can't pretend it hasn't taken over my life anymore. I watch porn all the time, much of it being pee. It's completely consumed me. My entire weekends are now spent watching porn, I'm talking from 9am to midnight on Saturday and Sunday, taking breaks only to use the restroom and eat. Literally 2 full days wasted. I watch it in the morning before work, which makes me late. I've developed this thing where I can't go to work unless I find an exciting video and click on it to start the buffer, then I immediately pause it and finally leave for work, with the thrill of knowing that I can finally watch it when I get home. Sometimes I'm so late that I call in sick because I can tell that I won't be able to turn the damn computer off and put my shoes on. This has happened on days when I was dressed and had the car warming up, and lunch packed. Couldn't leave the porn and missed work. The voice in my head is yelling “Go to work, dumbass” but my hands just keep clicking through pages. It's on my mind all day in the office, what will happen in the video I queued. Every time I hear the loud squeak of the womens room door closing I lose focus on work and have to think which female coworker is it and that I'm missing the sound of her pee because I'm not in the hallway close enough to hear. I was late picking up a friend waiting in the snow recently because I couldn't leave the porn. He asked what took so long, I said I couldn't find my keys and the roads were bad. It's all I want to do anymore, all I look forward to, which sites have new updates in my favorite categories. I bought the new God of War for Ps4 when it launched some 6 months ago, and still haven't played one minute of it, because I can't close the porn. I'll stay up until 5am and go to work on 2 hours of sleep, barely functional, jitters from coffee and falling asleep at my desk because I can't close the porn to go to bed at 11 at night when I feel sleepy. I missed my brothers college graduation 10 years ago, because it was an opportunity to binge porn on the family room computer, which was my only source at the time. My aunt, who is now widowed and living alone, wants me to watch a football game with her, but I can't leave the porn. My house is a mess, my bedroom is covered with trash, and I have become completely stagnant in my existence. I said I was going to pursue learning piano, a masters degree and read books by great authors 3 years ago, still haven't gotten around to any of those, because ...I can't close the porn. I'm 30 years old, and don't want to be like this at 40. I don't want to be like this at 31. Time is speeding up with each year that passes and my best years physically are already behind me, which scares me. I have nothing, no woman, no kids, no time devoted to hobbies or goals anymore and most of my closest family have passed in the last few years, and I believe they see me and their hearts break. The uselessness and isolation I feel at this point are the worst feelings I've ever felt. I've always felt like an outcast but now it's closing in on me in a frightening way. Been thinking about death a lot lately, haven't contemplated suicide but have started to wonder more often that maybe I want to be gone. I even hate having a drink with coworkers after work because I hate hearing about their families and active lives, knowing that I'm going home alone to watch porn right after, all night long. Which is why I feel that what happened at work, causing me to be home all day was a turning point and maybe some divine intervention. Had it not happened, I wouldn't have had my breakdown today, and came to a decision. That decision being to start being better to myself, to treat myself like I matter, to stop telling myself that I have no purpose. I closed all 8 of those damn porn tabs a few hours ago, cleared the history, threw out my masturbation toy that I often used. I cleaned my damn bedroom, it looks so much better now. I'll do more tomorrow. I feel like my mother would smile at what I did today, instead of seeing me like I've been for the past 15 years, decaying into wasted potential, enslaved to my urges. I hate that she can see the real me now, what I've always been, a porn addict aroused by things other than pee that would sicken anyone. No more porn, no more erotic fiction. No more Peefans. I'm saying goodbye to you all. You've been great and I cherish the fun times I've had here, but I have to stop this demon of mine, and anything that feeds it, such as this forum. The porn was my friend during my teen years when I felt isolated, but now it's imprisoned me and stopped me from growing because I've leaned on it for too long. So I'm done with it. I know it's just a symptom of deeper issues, but still it needs to go. It won't be easy and I'll probably relapse, but I have to fight it out of my existence and pursue my goals. Maybe I'll even find someone to love one day and maybe I'll even find my way back here one day as well. Think I'll finally play God of War now with all this sudden free time. Goodbye, love you all!
  3. Brutus

    Tips for Sketching

    I would say that YouTube is your best source because you need to see it done in real time, so what better than a video? I have also watched some art tutorial videos to help with things like shading techniques, drawing in perspective and also realistic hair and clothing wrinkles. What I can say is don't limit yourself to one channel. Different artists have different nuances that another artist may not prefer or think of, but would be great for you. Little things like where to begin the sketch, proportion methods, everyone is slightly different and it's better to see multiple ways of doing it to find the method that fits you. Not all artists are good teachers because they're so good, they skip important tips that beginners simply don't know. Don't overload yourself with trying to get better in all areas at once though. I recommend to pick one thing you want to improve, and watch 3 or 4 videos from different people to really let it sink in and practice on that one thing. Then move on to a different weakness. Another tip I've used to is to simply replicate pictures. Want to draw a lion? Pull up a picture of one and just recreate it. Once it's in your muscle memory, you can draw lions. Same for other things. Also, invest in an actual art kit that has the pencils you need. You can find basic kits for under 10 dollars easily. The different weight of each pencil really improves whatever you're doing. Mechanical pencils for writing are no good. I mean you can draw with them but you they are a serious handicap. I didn't think it mattered until I bought one. The improvement was immediately noticeable.
  4. Brutus

    Is this cheating?

    Very true. I'll admit that I have split feelings about it. On one hand, someone's perceived privacy would be violated, which could result in criminal charge. On the other hand, the fetishist in me wants so bad to at least hear this woman in action. Difficult to reconcile such opposing interests. If he does get a recording, I will certainly enjoy it. If he decides not to for fear of ramification, I have zero complaints, given the risk.
  5. Brutus

    Is this cheating?

    Sure if it's small enough, that could work. Yes you can upload here. I'm not sure how to if it's not a link to another site, but I know other members upload their own personal recordings. You could look around for a topic, ask others or the mods.
  6. Brutus

    Is this cheating?

    Ahh...okay. She's not afraid to assert herself. Definitely confident. I was going to ask if you'd considered recording her but it is indeed risky and I probably wouldn't try it either. Still, I know the frustration of knowing a female coworker is big pisser and wanting to hear it for real, no walls or doors blocking the sound. If she can be heard through a wall at all, just imagine how hard she must be releasing and how loud it really is... You struck gold here either way just hearing what little you can and of course having access to her leftovers.
  7. Brutus

    Is this cheating?

    And they are appreciated. This is a unique and ongoing real-time occurrence that I want to hear more about, for as long as you wish to update it. To bring this back to your story, I wanted to ask does her pee sound like a heavy deep pitched rumble in the water, or more of a loud spraying sound and/or hiss? Based on what she said about giving the blue colors something to do, it seems that she either messes the seat on purpose and gets a thrill, or at the least, is aware of her daily transgressions needing cleaned and truly does not care, like she believes that being concerned about it is beneath her. Seems she has a highly elitist attitude, to think that her piss serves as something for them to make themselves useful. You think she does it on purpose, maybe as a "fuck you"?
  8. Brutus

    Is this cheating?

    Haha!! Well I would bet that you aren't alone in your opinion! Many members probably read this story and thought "Okay fuck this guy, I'm outta here" but never forget that your harsh judgement here is the same thing society would say about all of us for having any variant of a pee fetish, including yours. They would say "Yuk and disgusting" at you for simply being here. His enjoyment of pee doesn't have to match yours. Seat licking is a popular niche of the fetish. As far as knowing if it's true, how would we know that anything posted here by anyone is true? It's easy to make up a fake true story if someone felt like it. I know for a fact that another member here posted something fake as if it was a true experience but only because they got a bit careless. It's not worth considering. It's almost impossible to prove anything as true or false here. Anything could be fictional. Now I'm not here to silence you. You certainly are free to express your opinion of being disgusted at others' contributions if that's what you desire, but it only serves to damage the forum's spirit of live and let live. I happen to enjoy this story and want to hear more of it. I would hope that you can see how such negativity was simply unnecessary.
  9. Brutus

    Is this cheating?

    Man that sounds awesome, she destroys it every damn time and leaves it for someone else. She knows her piss is spraying everywhere. You said the rest you wipe with a cloth, is she pissing on the floor as well?? It must be quite a mess if the other woman wont even use it. Yes if you could snap a few pictures of her damage before you lick it up, that would be beautiful.
  10. I actually used to have it on VHS. They played it a handful of times and I made damn sure to record it, but I lost the tape many years ago. Had some Real Sex episodes on it too. I've also tried to track Shock Video down online from time to time and so far, no luck. It's out there, everything is, just need a stroke of luck to find it. This is part of why I was considering diving into the deep web a while ago.
  11. Brutus

    My Drawings pt 2

    I made some more sketches months ago and never bothered to upload them. I could find them and post them if you'd like. Here is the link to my first drawing that I uploaded:
  12. Brutus

    Sexless marriage

    It would help if you gave us details that lead to the current state. There can be a lot of things that need addressed that either person could've contributed to, like maybe some hurtful things said or done that haven't been resolved, old resentments that have grown, stress from work and family, age, health issues, different attitudes toward sex, boredom from the same sexual routine, feelings of neglect, feeling taken for granted, maybe one person let themselves go physically, an affair occurred, erectile dysfunction, loss of love, depression, his testosterone could be low. the list of potential reasons is endless. Maybe he feels too much pressure to perform. Also, a lot of men stop initiating because they think their wives aren't interested. Or they feel that it's too much effort to get their wives in the mood. So many possibilities. What did your attempts to rekindle involve, and why did you give up?
  13. Brutus

    Is this cheating?

    Well at least you can ensure it's clean before she uses it. How much does she leave on the seat, a few sprinkles or a big mess? I'm curios as to how much of a "drink" you're getting here!
  14. Brutus

    Is this cheating?

    This is one of those moments where the differences between men and women shows itself. I won't speak for all men, but usually, seeing a woman peeing (for those of us with a pee fetish) equals being horny in that moment. Watching a pee video, or hearing a woman peeing through a restroom door is a definite arousal. Women can very easily admire physical aspects of a man without being aroused, as you mentioned you do at the gym. This isn't the case for most men. For us, seeing a woman's ass is something that will often cause arousal. However at the same time, you have to understand that as men, we are used to managing this sensitivity and keep random sources of arousal from causing pursuit and separate from love toward the woman we are with. Those random sources of arousal are literally everywhere, all day long for us because the female form is all that is required to turn us on. Heels, tight shorts, leggings, short skirts, visible cleavage don't make it any easier. Constant sources of arousal for men. It can be torture, especially during puberty, but it's a burden that we are well used to managing by the time we reach adulthood, and gets easier with age.
  15. Holy shit, yes I watched Shock Video on HBO as well. I remember that bit about the Japanese girls peeing down those pipes. That was the first time I realized that Japanese women seem to have big bladders. There were at least 2 of those documentaries, and I'm almost certain that one was Shock Video 2002. It also had another scene where a guy was enjoying sex with his new wife after their wedding and then she goes to the bathroom to pee. He crawls over and peeks in, seeing her standing over it like a man. It was fake and the actress was probably holding a water bottle or something, but still it was the first time I was introduced to the idea of a trans woman, which I previously had no knowledge of, being that I was like 13 at the time.
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