While doing a documentary on wine production in France, we were given access to a very exclusive high-end winery. We learned a lot of their secrets simply by observing the process involved. As a result, we were only allowed to talk about certain things to maintain the privacy of the vineyard. Since the allotted time has passed on the Non-Disclosure, I can now talk about what I observed. During the fall when the harvest was the heaviest, they would crush the grapes from morning to night constantly. This was still a classic procedure and done by the women with their feet. We watched them prepare and sanitize their appendages for days before getting into the press bucket. Once there, they were stuck until everything was finished so that it did contaminate the batch. This meant they had no bathroom breaks, we watched as the ladies took turns relieving themselves from within the mash. They would lower their trousers and with great skill and force pee on the ground. It was common to sit on the edge of the wooden structure and shoot directly downward. Occasionally one would remain standing and the wife of the owner, never stopped stomping her feet while she went. Of course, as you would expect, when the streams subsided much of the effluence went directly into the grapes below or in the case of the wife, would splash in and around with her movements. When questioned the owner said it was not restricted by French law, as this was natural and common in the traditional preparation method. We saw three women urinate at least ten times each during the day and the later it got, the less effort was used to keep it out of the mix. We were sent a bottle of wine specifically from the batch we watched be made after it had fermented and was ready for sale. My girlfriend was apprehensive to try it, but I convinced her. It was actually really enjoyable. We tried some of the others from the various places we studied and they were not as good.... so maybe there is something to this after all.

Ah.  Not funny unless you recognise the cultural reference,  so it probably won't be funny when I explain it - but I will have a go. The picture is from an old American sitcom called "Leave it to Beaver."   The woman in the picture is named June and the two boys at the right are her sons.   The younger son with the freshly shaved head is the protagonist of the show and his nickname is "Beaver." Hopefully that should do the trick. 😉

Just what I need in real life. Beautifully written.

I know it is not the right season yet, but I want to tell you about our family secret for fire roasted yams. We set the leaves, get everything going, the embers have to be just right. Now the key to that special flavor that everyone loves is simple, when the yams are almost ready, right after they split open, you are going to pee on them. The liquid will get absorbed into the center and enhance the taste with just the right amount of saltiness. It also helps to put out the fire!

I am sick of hearing the negativity around dating apps. Last year, I dated 20 girls off apps and had sex with 15 of them. Some very kinky....yall are doing it wrong.