Post Funny Piss related Stuff (Memes, Sayings, Jokes, ...)

[Alfresco 11,613]

On 8/31/2021 at 12:02 PM, gldenwetgoose said:

This is a public bathroom I used yesterday. 

Now with Covid we’re very used to lines on the floor we have to stay behind - I reckon I’d have to be properly bursting to reach from there though. 

I can imagine that a few people have tried.   I am visualising two slightly drunk people coming into the toilet and standing behind the lines competing to hit the trough.   Looks like the floor is a bit damp, so maybe some have tried and failed!

[gldenwetgoose 21,466]

You can rely on Viz…

[Gotah 2,381]

This might be a dream job for some of us

 

[toseepee 772]

[Ms. Tito 2,388]

14 hours ago, toseepee said:

 

[Eliminature 5,209]

On 9/2/2021 at 8:13 PM, Panther95 said:

How you pay for peeing in mens room in Germany 

Translation:

MENS TOILETS USAGE

SMALL PENIS: 10 CENTS

LARGE PENIS:  2 EUROS

I want to visit Deutschland again (if Frau Merkel will let me in!) and find a nice German urophile to piss in front of.

This reminds me, I must post about an experience that I had in Köln...

[Kupar 13,322]

7 hours ago, Eliminature said:

This reminds me, I must post about an experience that I had in Köln...

Looking forward to it already 🙂

[oliver2 4,409]

34 minutes ago, Kupar said:

Looking forward to it already 🙂

This one time, at Oompah Band Camp, …

[oliver2 4,409]

On 9/9/2021 at 2:03 PM, toseepee said:

What is this, a Duchamp/Magritte collaboration?

[Puddle 115]

[gldenwetgoose 21,466]

Yes I know this is a politics free zone - but in my defence it probably applies to every government and every political party around the world…

 

[GenericUsername 1,107]

[Kupar 13,322]

[likesToLick 10,216]

On 10/11/2021 at 10:12 AM, GenericUsername said:

Wot?  No velvet sofa? 😉

Edited October 17, 2021 by likesToLick

[GenericUsername 1,107]

7 hours ago, likesToLick said:

Wot?  No velvet sofa? 😉

It was hard to find an exact picture so I used an empty room.

[likesToLick 10,216]

18 hours ago, GenericUsername said:

It was hard to find an exact picture so I used an empty room.

It works well,  a lot of people would enjoy seeing that nice clean carpet getting used.  I was only joking about the sofa,  though I do think it looks nice when a woman pees on one.  I think If I was making a pleasure room I would go for pale green or gray velvet to show the splashes  really well.

[Sophie 24,371]

Urinal cake

 

[gldenwetgoose 21,466]

51 minutes ago, Sophie said:

Urinal cake

 

Come and blow the candle out at > https://peefans.com/topic/20528-the-birthday-shout-thread/

 

[T-Virus 132]

Here's two jokes of mine. First one is a variation of an old joke.

Two women are out enjoying a walk around the city, taking in the sight of the buildings and establishments. It's was a hot summer day, and one of the women had been chugging water, which she was paying for now in the form of pure desperation for a toilet. Excusing herself, she immediately took off in search of a restroom. Unfortunately, some of the establishments were either closed or the open ones were too far away. Immediately heading to the park, she decided to use the public restrooms there, but her heart skipped a beat upon finding them burned out and blocked off. With nowhere else to go, and close to wetting herself, she crouched down and hiked up her skirt before moving her panties to the side and relieving herself on the grass. Later that evening, she and her friend both went back to her house to hang out and watch a movie. While preparing dinner, the woman discovered a news story that covered the park's restrooms being burned down as some form of prank, while a brave man endured the spreading flames to rescue ducks from the nearby pond, therefore making him a hero. Bringing their food to the living room, she said to her friend, "I found out why the restrooms were destroyed in the park. Some jerk thought it would be funny to burn them down. On another note, what's the news saying about the guy who rescued the ducks?" Her friend smiled as she turned her own phone toward her, showing her a video someone captured of the news reporter telling the story. In the background, was her urinating in plain sight. "You should know, you were there!" Her friend teased.

Here's one I cooked up earlier.

Two women who are best friends are sharing a home, since the other's house is undergoing some repairs after a flood. The first friend was polite, neat, and worked at an office. She was welcoming and would gladly trust you without taking a second to question if it was a good idea or not. The second friend was the opposite. Sporting several tattoos and piercings, swore like a sailor, spoke what was on her mind, regardless of how it might affect someone, and was willing to take any job that wasn't illegal, such as mechanic work or sewer maintenance, for example. She also had "better to have and not need it" policy that drove her polite friend crazy, such as buying them a garden hose that was way too long for the yard. When questioned about it, she replied with, "You never know when you'll need something like it." One morning, the polite friend was making breakfast, when she had a mishap and caused the food to catch on fire. Panicking, she ran to the living room, where her friend was on her phone, and yelled, "The food's on fire! It's going to burn the house down!" Immediately, her friend tossed her phone onto the couch and ran to the kitchen. She heard the kitchen door open, and then there was partial silence mixed with the sound of burning food, before she heard water being sprayed onto the lit frying pan. Finally, the fire was out, and their was more silence before her friend returned. The polite woman breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Thank goodness you bought that long garden hose." Her friend replied, "The garden hose wasn't long enough to reach the kitchen, I had to improvise."

[Naughts 325]

I have found a joke and translated it for you here:

A stranger talks to another man in a bar:
"I bet you 100 bucks I can bite myself into my left eye"
"Thats not possible, I`m in"
The man takes out his glass eye and bites into it.
"I bet you another 100 bucks that I can also bite my right eye."
"Two glass eyes, that´s nonsense, I´m in."
The man takes out his artificial teeth and bites into his right eye.
"I bet you another 100 bucks that I can pee into your pants pockets without them getting wet."
"Thats bullshit, I´m in"
The man gets out his penis and stuffs it into the other man´s pocket.
"Dude! You are getting me all wet!"
"Yeah, well, I wanted to let you win for once..."

[Paulypeeps 5,285]

A guy walks in to a bar and orders a beer. The barman pours the beer, but when he finishes pouring the beer he can hear the sound of running water. He peers over the bar and sees that his customer is peeing up against the bar.

The barman says. "You can't do that, this is a pub."

The customer answers apologetically. "I'm so sorry. I have a problem, it is so embarrassing. I can't help myself and I get so embarrassed."

The barman offers some help. "You need to get some help, go and see a psychiatrist and don't come back until you are cured."

The guy goes away.

Some time later the guy returns to the bar. The barman recognises him. "You can't come in here, you came in here and peed on the bar, you are banned."

The guy answers. "You said I can come back when I am cured."

The barman agrees. "Yes, if you are cured you can come back. Are you cured?"

"Yes." Says the guy. "Completely cured now. I went and saw a psychiatrist and he has completely cured me."

"That's O.K. then." Says the barman. "What can I get you?"

"A beer please." Says the guy.

The barman pours the beer, but again he hears the unmistakable sound of the guy peeing on the bar again.

"Oy! What are you doing. I thought you were cured?"

The guy continues to pee up against the bar. "Yes, I am cured. Completely cured. I had ten sessions with the psychiatrist and he completely cured me. I have no problem at all now."

The guy continues peeing, and the barman is getting quite irate now. How can this guy be cured he thinks.

"How are you cured? You are pissing up against my bar?" The barman asks.

"Yes, it is great isn't it what a psychiatrist can do nowadays." Says the guy, still pissing.

The guy continues. "I used to get so embarrassed, I would just get it out anywhere and pee, and I would feel so much shame. It does not happen any more though, I am completely cured. I don't feel any embarrassment at all now."

[CON2H4 647]

9 hours ago, Paulypeeps said:

A guy walks in to a bar and orders a beer. The barman pours the beer, but when he finishes pouring the beer he can hear the sound of running water. He peers over the bar and sees that his customer is peeing up against the bar.

The barman says. "You can't do that, this is a pub."

The customer answers apologetically. "I'm so sorry. I have a problem, it is so embarrassing. I can't help myself and I get so embarrassed."

The barman offers some help. "You need to get some help, go and see a psychiatrist and don't come back until you are cured."

The guy goes away.

Some time later the guy returns to the bar. The barman recognises him. "You can't come in here, you came in here and peed on the bar, you are banned."

The guy answers. "You said I can come back when I am cured."

The barman agrees. "Yes, if you are cured you can come back. Are you cured?"

"Yes." Says the guy. "Completely cured now. I went and saw a psychiatrist and he has completely cured me."

"That's O.K. then." Says the barman. "What can I get you?"

"A beer please." Says the guy.

The barman pours the beer, but again he hears the unmistakable sound of the guy peeing on the bar again.

"Oy! What are you doing. I thought you were cured?"

The guy continues to pee up against the bar. "Yes, I am cured. Completely cured. I had ten sessions with the psychiatrist and he completely cured me. I have no problem at all now."

The guy continues peeing, and the barman is getting quite irate now. How can this guy be cured he thinks.

"How are you cured? You are pissing up against my bar?" The barman asks.

"Yes, it is great isn't it what a psychiatrist can do nowadays." Says the guy, still pissing.

The guy continues. "I used to get so embarrassed, I would just get it out anywhere and pee, and I would feel so much shame. It does not happen any more though, I am completely cured. I don't feel any embarrassment at all now."

Sounds like the barman needs to learn to be more tolerant lol. 😉

[Paulypeeps 5,285]

I'm cured anyway!

[Naughts 325]

For all the gamers out there. I callenge you to come up with games for each mode!

[Bacardi 10,109]

29 minutes ago, Naughts said:

For all the gamers out there. I callenge you to come up with games for each mode!

Lmao I didn't know what I was looking at till I saw Battle Royale. This is hilarious.