Well Sarah,  words fail me.  I think if I was in a shop and a customer started destroying stuff and swearing at me, they'd probably get some very swift dentistry which would seriously impact their ability to say the word "fucking", satisfying though it may be in certain circumstances.   

I fully endorse this idea.  Pissing on other people's carpet means never having to clean it or explain it.  😈

I pee on my carpet and just let it dry a lot, best to do it when you are very hydrated and just pissing water though. That way it just dies and I don't even notice a smell. Could get a wet vaccum for the carpet in case it does ever get bad though, I have used one on my carpet once when I left a really bad pee stain.

https://www.erome.com/a/Wk7UTv7m Let the dog out back and the cold air made me had to pee, so I just went off the side of the steps. 

Definitely desperation and how much I drank beforehand and yes there is usually a hissing noise to go along with how bad I have to go. I make sure to drink plenty of water and try to mix juice into the loop. Especially in the morning.