Jethro P

Anyone can pee on me any time they like – dead or alive. But it depends on the feelings with which the pee is done. You can piss on someone for whom you feel contempt, but you can pee with lovely warm splashes on someone you love. If you pee on the gravestone of a totally unknown person, does that count as a kind of denial of “sanctity”? I think not. Just a bit of a jolly 😊 JP.

Due to my current situation, I have to be a bit careful and make sure every last drop is gone. BUT… Why bother to dibble? Put your old jeans on, stand in the garden, and pee for all it's worth down your legs. If you're talking to your divine busty neighbour over the fence at the time, it adds a certain "frisson" to it.

Pee would be a good thing 😀 I was present at both my babies’ births. With the first one, when it was starting to come out, the midwife said “put your hand there, you will feel the baby’s head”. I put my hand down and tried to twiddle my fingers through all the folds and the flaps and the blubber, and then the feckin cow of a wife shat all over it. I had a handful of crap to greet my new born loved one. Philosophical rhetorical question: Did that colour my future relationships?

Try this: https://www.clorox.com/products/clorox-urine-remover/unscented/ Get it on Amazon, and elsewhere :)

Hello again to my dear friends. Please forgive me for being out of circulation for a while. I have had a bit of a hiccup in my life. I have prostate problems and have had to suffer rather nasty intrusions into my nether regions. Piccie (not me but pretty similar): It is so frustrating that, as a pee addict, I have not been able to go for a “real” wee for quite a while. I had a tube stuffed up my willy which automatically drained anything that I might have wanted to enjoy if I could do it freely. There is no way I could have enjoyed all the pee banter here when I couldn’t

Unfortunately she has a husband and two kids. And a yappy little feckin' dog 🙂 I went for a pee up against the fence before and made out I was "talking" to the dog, but looking at her bum!!

Soz chaps, had a few things going on which needed attention. Back now though. It's a bit of a "pisser" (or a bummer depending on your predilection!), but I did a vid on my phone of me having a wee on the carpet. It was bleddy good - a nice stream, great puddle... But when I tried to put it on the PC, it said “Cannot recognise this media” or some such bollox. I will have to muscle up and do another one on the proper camera – that’s waterproof, so I can pee all over it 😊 I had a pee up against the garden fence just now. No-one around so it wasn’t dangerous. Felt good though.

Welcome to the forum AstroZombie. You are now amongst a group of like-minded and outgoing friends. I have not been here long, but I really enjoy all the piccies, videos, the banter and the friendship. Good to have you around to add your own "colour" to the mixed pallette 😃

I have to admit another passion - ladies' bums!! I have looked at the entire thread on ladies bottoms, and love just about all of them. I have never put my willy up a lady's bum, but I can dream 😃

You can worship my willy any time you like 🤣 I LOVE beautiful pussies and gorgeous bums, and every time I see either of them, I am sooo glad I have a willy 😂

Only for those unfortunate enough not to have a willy 😄

Thanks for the encouragement 😘 it's only small, but who knows what stardom awaits 😂

Right. I have threatened to do this since I came here, so now is the time of truth. I did a video of me doing a wee on my computer chair. Just for a giggle - nothing to get turned on about. A small willy doing an impression of a garden fountain. Very ornamental - put it in your garden and you'll have the "Gardener's Question Time" team round in a shot 😅 https://www.eroprofile.com/m/videos/view/VID_20190217_214140 JP

You are soooo lucky to have such a controlled stream. Here's what mine is like: The image is not to scale 😂

I think my favourite is a big bladder which just goes on and on in a never ending stream. I can't talk though because I have a smaller capacity 😢

My flow is completely all over the place. I have been tempted to sit down when forcced to use a loo, but that's what girls do 😄

I must admit I haven't tried that, but it certainly sounds like I should give it a go :)

Now and again, I let a little dribble go onto the carpet. I have controlled the stream so just a little bit comes out because I felt a little bit uncomfortable doing it. But I did a whole bladder's worth tonight - and bollox to it! By 'eckers, it felt so good! So much "freedom". I put a towel over it to soak it up, but look at the wet patch and think - "Yeah"!

Not just baking. If someone comes into your home and you present them with a lovely plate of food, that communicates everything about you 😘

Okey-dokey. They are in MS Word format so I will have to work on them a bit to post them, but I will be proud to share them - it will be a bigger audience than they get in my lockup 😀

It's really touching that you would go to the effort of making something special for a friend whose diet is somewhat limited. Pure love 😍

Haven't seen that one, I will look around. The thing about the recipes I did was that they weren't just "Add this, a pinch of that, then strain the greens" etc. They were almost like short stories, and I liked to keep them humorous. I do have a few favourites and would love to share them with all the friends here, but a "Cookery thread" on a pee forum? Hmmm 🤔

The Bake Off was just a twinkle in a producer's eye when I went for Masterchef - it was the second series after its rebirth. But to be honest, although I have done a fair amount of cakey and puddingy stuff, I much prefer savoury. Toad-In-The-Hole?? I'll stick anything in the hole 😂

Ok, bragging time now. I love cooking and have written some 40 original recipes (haven't had them published unfortunately 😢) A while ago, I was invited for an audition for the British Masterchef TV programme. But I started getting heart problems and had to decline 😭 But I still make sure I "keep my hand in" and love messing about in the kitchen. One of things I like doing is to make something really tasty and appealing out of the least ingredients. It comes in handy at the end of the month when there's only a mouldy old tomato and half a tin of beans left in the fridge 😀

Stop saying things like that. I've only just got home from work, and you'll make me pee myself already - or cream my knicks, but either way I'll have to take an early shower :)