How to tell my mom about my fetish?

[peecurious94 3,268]

Now that I am an adult, I want to tell my mom about my fetish. I am sure she knows to some degree, and has not mentioned it to avoid any embarrassment. Growing up, I am sure she  came to that conclusion based on the soaked towels, pee stains on the porch (often blamed on the dogs when asked), pee smell in my room (closet, mostly), and the couple of times she caught me bottomless in my chair in the living room with a wet spot under me. Now that I am out of her house, I want to confirm her suspicions. Mu hope is that she will allow my free peeing openly when I am visiting her house since I got away with so much when I was growing up. Any ideas or thoughts? 

[oliver2 4,418]

Well… how open are you and your mom about, on the one hand, talking about sexual things, and on the other hand, peeing? Feels to me like this varies a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge amount between families so difficult to generalise.

[Kupar 13,339]

Well. The being out of the house now cuts both ways somewhat. It gives you a lot more freedom, but it perhaps also means that when you visit you Mom, she sets the rules in her house and you as a visitor should respect them. So whatever you decide about confirming your fetish I would not expect her to agree that you can do what you want in her house. It's possible that she'd be happy for you to do as you want, but much, much more likely she won't. You know your Mom better than any of us, but don't jeopardise your relationship - you'll need it to be good for a long, long time!

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

Forgive me if I'm reading and psychoanalysing far too deeply - I wonder if there's two different things you're hoping for?  The first being for your Mum to accept your kink, and then the second being that you want to carry on expressing the kink when visiting.

The first part there seems perfectly natural (I don't mean that the second part isn't either).  But we all want to be accepted (and to have our love of pee accepted) and who better to do so than our very own mother. Generally our mother is the very first person any of us try to please, often the person we're closest to growing up.  Now in terms of your mum accepting your kink as a part of you - as people have said, that could wildly vary from one case to another.   There are parents who disown children because they come out as gay, other parents treat it as a phase to be fixed and yet other parents who recognise they love the child irrespective.

I guess your mother's attitude to 'alternative sex' could give clues here.  Is she broadminded when it comes to the thought of her daughter participating in something not quite vanilla and on the straight and narrow?  Or does she still imagine you as her young innocent child?    If you engineered a situation, maybe going out for lunch and then a stroll in the park on a visit, and you squatted in the bushes for an outdoor wee - would she be horrified, would it allow a conversation about how you enjoy the 'thrill' and freedom?

It's a bit catch-22 isn't it - often the person we've been closest too for the majority of our lives is the same person we know the least about when it comes to sex and the person we'd find it hardest to talk to about it.

If I was to suggest anything at all it would be to tackle the first part rather than the 'is it ok if I pee in your house'.  I'm not sure what exactly to recommend there and only you really know how open minded your mum is likely to be.  Gentle steps maybe to explore the boundaries?

[beachmom 1,815]

I would think that it would be much easier for a girl to open up to their moms about nearly anything than for boys to do so. Boys tend to become very shy in their teen years, especially when it comes to nudity and sexuality. When my boys were young I was quite permissive and tolerant about them peeing nearly anywhere. While my thoughts never changed, in their late teens my boys seemed to just assume that I'd for some reason feel it's now inappropriate and began to be discrete. Seeing their hesitancy,  I once again began to suggest, encourage and insist that they should "just go" rather than track inside or make us look for restrooms. In time they became not only comfortable doing what they always had, but with opening up about wanting to do so in other places such as in stairwells, corridors and hotel rooms among other places. With me always being agreeable with their requests they became increasingly open with me about what their developing fetish. I'm sure my boys were quite afraid to bring their desires to my attention, but now knowing that I don't just tolerate, but approve of their habits the boys are completely comfortable around me. 

[Carb0nBased 647]

It has to be very unusual for a child to seek the freedom to express a sexual kink in front of parents. That rarely happens--I certainly have never wanted to tell my parents about any fetishes I have. I could see wanting to "come clean" about doing things when younger that may have bothered your mom (especially if you were of an age where you didn't fully understand your fetish and weren't so good with boundaries), and I'd hope that a parent would accept that. But the other part, about hoping your mom lets you pee in random places around her house, stretches my sense of what's reasonable--unless maybe you have a mom like Beachmom. Not only would it be asking her to fully accept your kink, it would require that she take on the risk of something being damaged from you making a mess peeing where you're not supposed to--even if you do all the work of cleaning up the pee itself (which I certainly HOPE you would do...)

I also question why it's so important that your mom lets you do that, now that most of the time you live in your own place where you can pee wherever you want, whenever you want. Is it just the "naughty" aspect of it?

[peecurious94 3,268]

I apologize for taking so long to reply. To give context, my mom and I are very open. Growing up, we both regularly peed outside in front of each other instead of going in the house. Also, we lived in the country a bit off the highway, so we often were naked outdoors, as well as inside. Clothing was definitely optional at our house. I also witnessed her pee in the kitchen and bathroom sinks multiple times while washing dishes, brushing teeth, etc. instead of going to the toilet. Lastly, when we would get home from long trips, we would both regularly pee just outside the car instead of trying to making it into the house. I never saw her pee anywhere other than outside or in the sinks, but I don't think it would be a stretch to say it probably happened. As I said in the original post, I peed regularly in naughty places and wasn't too secretive about it. My mom and I are still very open, and though I don't live there anymore, clothing is still optional and we still openly pee outside and in sinks. Personally, I love peeing where I am. I don't want to have to get up and pee in the sink or outside, and since I didn't get in trouble for the obvious peeing when I was younger, I am considering asking permission to pee anywhere that is easily cleanable (floors, hard chairs, rugs, etc.)

[GenericUsername 1,108]

That’s an unusual situation, but may be a nice opportunity for you. 

[JesseP 1,277]

Sounds like you Mum is very open minded about peeing if she chooses to use a sink rather than bathroom. I would be tempted to start off with a hint about what you have done at home and see her reaction. You never know she might join you.

[Kupar 13,339]

16 hours ago, peecurious94 said:

I apologize for taking so long to reply. To give context, my mom and I are very open. Growing up, we both regularly peed outside in front of each other instead of going in the house. Also, we lived in the country a bit off the highway, so we often were naked outdoors, as well as inside. Clothing was definitely optional at our house. I also witnessed her pee in the kitchen and bathroom sinks multiple times while washing dishes, brushing teeth, etc. instead of going to the toilet. Lastly, when we would get home from long trips, we would both regularly pee just outside the car instead of trying to making it into the house. I never saw her pee anywhere other than outside or in the sinks, but I don't think it would be a stretch to say it probably happened. As I said in the original post, I peed regularly in naughty places and wasn't too secretive about it. My mom and I are still very open, and though I don't live there anymore, clothing is still optional and we still openly pee outside and in sinks. Personally, I love peeing where I am. I don't want to have to get up and pee in the sink or outside, and since I didn't get in trouble for the obvious peeing when I was younger, I am considering asking permission to pee anywhere that is easily cleanable (floors, hard chairs, rugs, etc.)

OK - that puts a different perspective on things, and I second what @JesseP just said. I reckon in that case it could be possible to bring up the issue. But the same advice applies - no way do you want to jeopardise the relationship you have, so you need to be prepared to abide by any rules without arguing or getting resentful. Maybe after you've just peed outside or in a sink - or you have seen her do it - then something like "Hey Mom, you know that we've always just peed in various places? I've realised I really like that freedom, and I do it at my place - in all sorts of places - it's really nice." And see what response that gets conversationally, then if she's interested, mention where you pee at your place. But please be careful - it sounds like you have an amazing open attitude that's refreshing and unusual and it would be awful to damage it.

[janny-ammerson 66]

It's a really critical situation. Well, it depends on how your mom treats you

[Burnzie 149]

Only you know that relationship, but it sounds pretty solid and open given the details. Worst case she says keep it as it was before right?

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

I wonder if the thing to do is maybe engage in conversation - but with a hypothetical discussion...

Given your background and the fact you know your mum at least used to be quite open:  Perhaps if you go to visit there'd be chance to open the conversation along the lines of "I've been running about grabbing shopping all morning, on the way here realised I was absolutely bursting and had to pull over to have a wee in the dirt.  Reminded me of all the times we've done that when I was young"

Now your mum may say something along the lines of "I still do..." in which case you could ask about her exploits. If she talks about peeing in the yard for example or in a sink then you could confess you do similar at home.

If she doesn't open up then you could perhaps let on that actually it felt enjoyable and liberating just to pee like that.  Something along those lines.

Whichever, what you're trying to get to is some empathy with your mum and agreement that peeing other than a toilet is ok.  Perhaps that could lead on to the sort of 'well you do it... and I do at my place... so is it ok here?"    But that would have to be a carefully trod path depending on how open the responses you get are.

Final point from me - peeing in a sink which can be washed away or outside is one thing and could be a very different situation from peeing on floors or soft furnishings. The big issue being the perception of damage resulting.  So the best solution may just be that you achieve a common understanding with your mother around those sort of boundaries.

[MaxWasTaken 522]

On 2/15/2022 at 5:57 AM, peecurious94 said:

I apologize for taking so long to reply. To give context, my mom and I are very open. Growing up, we both regularly peed outside in front of each other instead of going in the house. Also, we lived in the country a bit off the highway, so we often were naked outdoors, as well as inside. Clothing was definitely optional at our house. I also witnessed her pee in the kitchen and bathroom sinks multiple times while washing dishes, brushing teeth, etc. instead of going to the toilet. Lastly, when we would get home from long trips, we would both regularly pee just outside the car instead of trying to making it into the house. I never saw her pee anywhere other than outside or in the sinks, but I don't think it would be a stretch to say it probably happened. As I said in the original post, I peed regularly in naughty places and wasn't too secretive about it. My mom and I are still very open, and though I don't live there anymore, clothing is still optional and we still openly pee outside and in sinks. Personally, I love peeing where I am. I don't want to have to get up and pee in the sink or outside, and since I didn't get in trouble for the obvious peeing when I was younger, I am considering asking permission to pee anywhere that is easily cleanable (floors, hard chairs, rugs, etc.)

You haven't given an update yet so it seems like you are still open for input. 
I would simply arrange a nice evening, maybe with something nice to drink to ease the tension. I wouldn't go for Board games or a movie. I would opt for something that gives you many opportunities to talk about stuff. Maybe a BBQ or maybe you could cook a nice meal together. Steer the conversation towards remembering old stories and adventures you both had. Then when the mood is right, i would open with something like: "Remember when you peed in the sink (or whatever your best story ist). I found out that i really like doing it. (go in to as much detail as you feel good for a conversation starter) I always wondered if you feel the same or if it was just a convenience thing for you."

If the remembering old stories angle doesn't work i would talk about my or her love live. Tell her that it is really hard to find a guy who is cool with the way you both handle peeing and unveil that its actually a fetish of yours if she reacts positively. 

You could also ask her how or why she started doing this. By now you have realised that it is not the most common practice and you always wondered if there was a juicy story behind this. 

Dunno just some ideas. I wish you the best of luck and im sure we all are happy to brain storm further if you give us a progress report ^^. 

P.s. I have to complain again about me missing the option for cool fetish parents in my character creation. Damn it. This forum makes me jealous xD.

[Alfresco 11,630]

Some good advice being given above.   I like the idea from @MaxWasTaken about having a BBQ - that would be a classic situation where you could have a few drinks, then when you need to pee you can ask your mum if she minds if you pee in the bushes/trees/drain/wherever to save going inside.   If she is OK with that then it would either open up the conversation opportunity anyway and you never know, she might even do the same.

 

[beachmom 1,815]

You don't really have to tell her, just be more open about it as others have said. Pee in the back yard when you're outside, tell her you need to step into an alley for a moment when you're in the city, these are places where most moms rather expect boys to piss.

[peecurious94 3,268]

@beachmom I know you are very supportive of your boys free peeing. If you had a grown daughter, how would you want them to approach you? Would you rather it be a direct conversation asking for permission to freely pee, or would you rather it just happen? I feel if I pee in an area that is easily cleaned (i.e. the kitchen floor, etc.) while talking or something, it may be initially shocking, but she may come to realize it's normal? I mean, we have been nonchalantly peeing for years...just usually outside or into the sink. 

[beachmom 1,815]

I'm not one to push people to do anything, so I much prefer for others to just do as they feel okay with in a way that they feel is normal. For me, making a mess on a floor that I have to then clean isn't fun, but perhaps on a locker room floor, a store dressing room, hotel room or even a basement or parking garage floor would be normal to me.

[peecurious94 3,268]

2 minutes ago, MasterDarcy said:

I really don't think it's as complicated as you make it sound. I mean, you both have a Liberal take on the whole business of peeing in unconditional places, etc, so it's really shouldn't be much of an ordeal to just cone out and tell her about your fetish. From the things you have disclosed, maybe she's the one you got it from.

Let's put it this way, it would be easier for you to reveal your fetish to your Mum than it would for the vast majoring of children.

You and your Mum appear to have a really wonderful and liberated relationship. I doubt telling her about your fetish would shock her. 

So, just come out and tell her. I would be amazed if she was repulsed by it. Reading about your dynamic, she'd most probably join you in your piss shenanigans. 

My only worry is that being naked and peeing in non-toilet places is out of convenience rather than a fetish to my mom. Since I enjoy it as more of a fetish, I am afraid she will think she warped me in raising me. Additionally, I am worried that may make her less inclined to continue with our current routine of peeing outdoors or in sinks/tubs. I enjoy the freedom, and I would like it to be more diverse (peeing on the floor, etc.), but not at the risk of harming our relationship, you know? Maybe I am overthinking, and I should just do it, but I feel it is still risky. 

[peecurious94 3,268]

4 minutes ago, MasterDarcy said:

Yeah. I know what you mean. I totally understand your apprehension. It may ruin your current dynamic with her or/and she may go into a shame spiral because she'll feel like she warped you.

Those are entirely plausible outcomes, however, if you come at it from an angle where it's actually a positive thing, rather than a negative, that it enriches your life, rather than it being a deterrent, then I'm sure she'll get it 

She sounds very cool. Try and give her the benefit of the doubt. And you never know, maybe the fact that you do pee openly and in inconvenience places, it's a fetish for her, too.

The best way of doing it is bringing up the pissing in inconvenience places. Just bring it up in conversation. Mention that it's a fetish for some people, and keep engaging with her about it, softly.

Her reaction to the fetish that "some people have" will be a gauge of where you should proceed or not.

That's really good advice! 

I really hope the reward is worth it. I can't wait to be able to relax and let it flow mid-conversation. 

[MaxWasTaken 522]

2 hours ago, peecurious94 said:

Additionally, I am worried that may make her less inclined to continue with our current routine of peeing outdoors or in sinks/tubs.

I agree with @MasterDarcy be subtle and approach the topic slowly. Basically don't shock her ^^. I told female friends of mine about my foot fetish and even tho they find it weird they haven't started wearing socks or shoes around me because they don't care about it. Oh and try to avoid the whole "oh no does that mean im doing something sexual with my daughter" topic. Try to frame it in a nice way :D. 

[KylieRobidoux 586]

I feel like you and I would get along - feel free to message me if you would like. 
 

my parents are proper and Christian and would never have such a thing. 
 

On the other hand, I’ve peed Infront if my friends mom - she actually held the cup for me so I didn’t pee all over her car - so it really depends on what end of the spectrum your mother lies on 

[Ms. Tito 2,396]

My mom is proud of me for finally coming out of my shell and becoming more willing to pee outside when I need to, but she will go to her grave never knowing that it makes my pp go hard. That's a boundary I'm not willing to cross. 

[peecurious94 3,268]

**NEW DEVELOPMENT**

I was at my mom's place this weekend, and we had just gotten home from running errands. My mom made it into the house, but couldn't quite make it to the kitchen sink, so she pulled her shorts down and peed on the kitchen floor! She did it right in front of me. What are everyone's thoughts about the situation now? Should I try openly peeing on the floor, too? 

[Kupar 13,339]

7 minutes ago, peecurious94 said:

**NEW DEVELOPMENT**

I was at my mom's place this weekend, and we had just gotten home from running errands. My mom made it into the house, but couldn't quite make it to the kitchen sink, so she pulled her shorts down and peed on the kitchen floor! She did it right in front of me. What are everyone's thoughts about the situation now? Should I try openly peeing on the floor, too? 

Wow! What did you say at the time? I think that is probably quite important in terms of what happens next.