Funny pee memories

[felicia1234 59]

What are some of your funny pee memories that you would like to share?

[ukpeegirl86 3,031]

My funniest memory would be when my ex's sister used to take me horse riding with her. She had several horses kept in a barn she rented in a nearby village. One of the first few times I went with her I found myself increasingly uncomfortable mid way through the day, needing to urinate but there were no facilities. I mentioned to her that I needed to wee. She pointed to the other side of the barn to where some rectangular straw bales were stacked and said "go and sit over there, I'll be back in a few minutes". I assumed she was going to get the car and drive to a McDonald's a few miles away so we could use the toilet as had happened on a previous occasion. She was gone what seemed like ages. I looked at my phone and it had been twenty minutes. By that point I was squirming with the need to go. Where was she?! I started eyeing up potential options. Do I pee in a stable? There wasn't one free without a very large horse in it! What about into a bucket? I couldn't find one that wasn't in use. I scanned around the outside area and I couldn't immediately see anywhere with enough cover for a sneaky outdoor wee, not even between cars parked in the car park at the farm entrance. I looked again at my phone as I sat on the straw bale. She'd been over half an hour and I was SO close to losing it. Eventually she came back. "What on earth have you been doing all this time?" She asked me. I explained I was desperate to pee and I was waiting for her. "What for?" She asked me and seemed really confused. It turned out I'd misunderstood her and she had in fact directed me to sit on the straw bale I'd spent the last half hour sitting waiting on and wee into it. I didn't need telling twice. I pulled my jodhpurs and knickers down as she stood in front of me and I was weeing before I'd even sat back down on the straw bale. My wee was hissing loudly but not splashing as it was running through the straw to the dirt floor of the barn below. I'd shut my eyes momentarily, relishing the relief. When I opened them my ex's sister was still stood there almost rooted to the spot on the disbelief that I was so desperate I'd just pee in front of her like I was. She couldn't stop looking even though I could tell she felt uncomfortable. I made very awkward eye contact with her and in absolute embarrassment I looked to the floor where I realised with horror that my pee, silenced by the straw bale I was pissing into, was flooding in a stream from beneath the bale which was then running forwards to where she standing and was pooling around her very expensive riding boots and she hadn't noticed. I caught her eye again and looked downwards when she noticed she was essentially standing in a large pool of pee, as I still continued weeing, unable to stop or reposition my sitting position as I sat on the bale continuing to piss into it.

She looked absolutely horrified and she was rooted to the spot as my piss continued to pool around her feet. I have the misfortune of laughing in awkward situations and I began to laugh. It was suddenly really, really funny. She briefly looked like she too wanted to laugh but she didn't. She walked off and by then I'd finished weeing. I pulled up my knickers and jodhpurs and we went about the rest of our day. The incident was never spoken of again, but every time I think back to that memory I end up laughing over how funny it was - and wasn't - at the same time!!!

[gldenwetgoose 21,488]

That is the best true tale I think I've read on here all year  - brilliant @ukpeegirl86, love it

[bcreed1983 509]

That’s an awesome story! 

[Thiscouldbeanywhere 381]

Not me but a buddy of mine once pissed in an ash can at a football game

[JesseP 1,277]

I remember a horsey friend of my daughter saying that when they were at shows both her and her mother would go into the back of the horse box and pee into the hay bales. The thought made me very horny as they were effectively peeing where people could almost see them and mother and daughter were both peeing there

[JesseP 1,277]

ukpeegirl86 would love to chat, East Mids here as well

[Crisper 35]

One time I woke up after a big night out in a wet bed. Spent all the morning hungover at a launderette paying to wash the sheets and all day drying out the mattress. Mattress dried enough by evening so flipped it and put the fresh washed sheets back on. Got talked into going out again that evening (nobody knew about my accident of the previous night) and proceeded to get so drunk again that I woke up the next morning to find I'd pissed the bed again for second night running! Cue more secret expensive sheet washing and all day mattress drying. Oops.

[Eliminature 5,209]

Two years or so after my male friend taught me how to pee standing, his younger brother was old enough to come and play with us in his garden. He was still using his potty at this point and not long out of nappies. 

When he saw me peeing standing up just like his elder brother, he said "Is Eliminature using her willy to do a standing up wee wee like a big girl?" 

It turned out that "using his willy" meant peeing standing outside. Indoors he sat on the potty. I think his brother had to give him a rudimentary anatomy lesson after that! 😂

[yellowii 238]

On 11/6/2020 at 10:13 PM, Thiscouldbeanywhere said:

Not me but a buddy of mine once pissed in an ash can at a football game

Do you mean an ash tray or a trash can? 

[Thiscouldbeanywhere 381]

Ash can I guess

[Bacardi 10,134]

When I was a kid I frequented a farm and have snuck into unoccupied horse stalls and peed on the concrete. I cared too much about the animals to pee directly into their hay, but the empty stalls without hay were always my go to. I honestly think everyone did because there were drains in the concrete and, really, what else were you supposed to do 😅 Such great memories to relive because of this post. Thank you!

[gldenwetgoose 21,488]

3 hours ago, Bacardi said:

When I was a kid I frequented a farm and have snuck into unoccupied horse stalls and peed on the concrete. I cared too much about the animals to pee directly into their hay, but the empty stalls without hay were always my go to. I honestly think everyone did because there were drains in the concrete and, really, what else were you supposed to do 😅 Such great memories to relive because of this post. Thank you!

I must confess to having a huge fascination as to what goes on in stables....   I take your point about the clean hay, but I guess if you're in a stable about to muck out all the hay the horse has already wet and dumped in then it's no issue.  Jodhpurs combined with the muscle tone of a girl who rides regularly, compared with the thought of wriggling them down to pee in the hay really do get me every time.

(Sorry - got off topic for a minute there)

[JesseP 1,277]

On 11/7/2020 at 10:48 PM, JesseP said:

ukpeegirl86 would love to chat, East Mids here as well

Your profile won't accept messages

[oliver2 4,418]

On 11/9/2020 at 8:13 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

I must confess to having a huge fascination as to what goes on in stables....   I take your point about the clean hay, but I guess if you're in a stable about to muck out all the hay the horse has already wet and dumped in then it's no issue.

I'm about 80% city boy, so @speedy3471 or someone can point out if I'm talking through my hat, but as I understand it, hay's dried grass for animals to eat, straw's the stalky bits from wheat etc which is cheap, inedible, and but works for bedding and dealing with muck, piss, etc. Both can be compressed into bales for storage. I'd not know the difference until I tried to feed a horse with it & it looked at me like a cat offered broccoli.

There was a story I heard - maybe a tall story - that there are very sensitive blood tests used when trying to detect whether a race horse has been drugged (which is against the rules). There was a mysterious positive test, eventually traced to a stableboy who had taken some kind of drug (probably a legal, medicinal one, for humans), and pissed in the horse box. The horse, tempted by the salt, had licked the piss, ingested trace amounts of the drug, and ... positive test.

 

[speedy3471 10,655]

4 hours ago, oliver2 said:

I'm about 80% city boy, so @speedy3471 or someone can point out if I'm talking through my hat, but as I understand it, hay's dried grass for animals to eat, straw's the stalky bits from wheat etc which is cheap, inedible, and but works for bedding and dealing with muck, piss, etc. Both can be compressed into bales for storage. I'd not know the difference until I tried to feed a horse with it & it looked at me like a cat offered broccoli.

 

 

Your correct sir hahahaha. Straw is used as bedding for and lining the cattle pens of horse stalls. Cattle will sometimes eat it but horses definitely do not, at least in my experiences 

[gldenwetgoose 21,488]

On 11/9/2020 at 8:13 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

I must confess to having a huge fascination as to what goes on in stables....   I take your point about the clean hay, but I guess if you're in a stable about to muck out all the hay the horse has already wet and dumped in then it's no issue.  Jodhpurs combined with the muscle tone of a girl who rides regularly, compared with the thought of wriggling them down to pee in the hay really do get me every time.

(Sorry - got off topic for a minute there)

 

6 hours ago, oliver2 said:

I'm about 80% city boy, so @speedy3471 or someone can point out if I'm talking through my hat, but as I understand it, hay's dried grass for animals to eat, straw's the stalky bits from wheat etc which is cheap, inedible, and but works for bedding and dealing with muck, piss, etc. Both can be compressed into bales for storage. I'd not know the difference until I tried to feed a horse with it & it looked at me like a cat offered broccoli.

There was a story I heard - maybe a tall story - that there are very sensitive blood tests used when trying to detect whether a race horse has been drugged (which is against the rules). There was a mysterious positive test, eventually traced to a stableboy who had taken some kind of drug (probably a legal, medicinal one, for humans), and pissed in the horse box. The horse, tempted by the salt, had licked the piss, ingested trace amounts of the drug, and ... positive test.

 

 

2 hours ago, speedy3471 said:

Your correct sir hahahaha. Straw is used as bedding for and lining the cattle pens of horse stalls. Cattle will sometimes eat it but horses definitely do not, at least in my experiences 

Maybe I should abuse my moderation privileges by amending 'hay' to read 'straw' in my original post and deleting the comments of those kind enough to educate me.    No - I appreciate the education 😉

[Alfresco 11,631]

Probably my funniest one was one which, I have written up elsewhere so apologies if I remember the details slightly differently - it was a few years ago. The gist of it was that one evening I spotted two girls in a park area on a path that went round a fountain and had low bushes to the other side.   The girls squatted down to pee on the grass between the path and the low bushes.  I was walking along the path and saw them peeing.  I walked past them and noted that the first one I came to was much the worse for wear and was wobbling around a lot whilst spraying her pee onto the grass with her jeans round her knees.  The second one was more sober and was slightly embarrassed about being spotted and apologised as I went past.  I told her not to worry and kept walking.  I got round to the other side of the low bushes and could see their bottoms.  I saw the first girl stand up and had a clear view of her bum, but then she fell over backwards into the bushes.  I turned round and went back to ask if she needed any help.  The second girl had by now managed to stand up and adjust her clothing but the first girl was laid out on her back, jeans still at her knees and her pussy fully on show.  I asked if she was all right and whether she needed any help.  She struggled to pull her jeans up whilst still lying half on the grass and half on the low bushes (they were only about a foot tall).  She wriggled them up whilst I stood there and I talked to the other girl saying that I though she may need help to get up.   She nearly got her jeans up, then said she would like a hand to get up.  I took her left hand and the other girl took her right hand and we hauled her back up to her feet.  She thanked me profusely and said I was a real gentleman.  We then held onto her whilst she finished getting her jeans up and I left them to it.  I got about 100m away and the very drunk girl then shouted across and asked if she could see my penis.  I considered this but I thought better of it and left them to get on with their night.

Another time on a sea front, three girls from a larger group, but nearer the back had broken off and walked down the beach to the sea and I guessed they were going to pee.   I turned left towards the sea, got to the point where the beach slopes more steeply and turned and walked back along the ridge towards these three.  They were squatted down just up from the water line, in a triangle, all facing in towards each other.  The nearest one had her bum fully exposed - although it was pretty dark, I could certainly make out the shape and colour of her pale bum against the darker background.  The other two, I couldn't see a great deal other than their general shape and position.  Then comes the funny part.  At that point a large wave rolled in and came right up to the girls, swamping their feet and causing all three to jump up and try to run up the beach without time to get dressed.  Two of them had dresses/skirts, which weren't too bad as they ran upwards, holding their skirts up and with everything on display apart from it being dark.   The other one had trousers round her knees and she stumbled as she tried to run like that, falling onto her hands and knees and having to struggle to her feet again.  One of the girls shouted very loudly "I just wee'd all over myself!"  The other two laughed.  Then one of them squatted back down to finish what she started whilst the other two adjusted their clothes.

Edited November 10, 2020 by Alfresco
typo

[Metalcrue 147]

Funniest memory has probably been a few times I've been out in Manchester. Piccadilly Gardens used to have the public portable urinals. 

I always made sure I used them during the day. Countless times I had girls walk past, make a comment and sort of cheer. Funniest time was when I looked round and there was literally a girl stood right next to me watching me piss. I could hear her friends behind us laughing and cheering her on. It seemed like she enjoyed it. 

[T-Virus 132]

One of my funniest pee memories at this current point in time was years ago, back when I was still young and living in Tennessee. We'd been battling field rats that were trying to make our home theirs, (If you've never had the misfortune of encountering one of these things, I recommend doing a Google search) and at the time I was horrified of them. Well, one day I needed to take care of business and stepped into the bathroom before shutting the door and doing what I had to do. Our laundry room was just right outside the bathroom, and that's where we had our trash bags. Well, from the laundry room, my mother unintentionally rustled the bag in order to get it open and throw something away, and I immediately spun around and looked at the door, suspecting a rat. There was no such thing, but I immediately passed some of my water on my left foot. At the time I was more like, "Crap! This is awful!" but when I look back at it now, I can't help but smile a bit.

[Gotah 2,382]

It was during a summer evening a bunch of years ago. I was still a kid and was playing hide and seek with my friends outside.

It was my turn to go and look for them. I search all around my house as I saw a tiny wall right in front of me. I approached it and while doing so I noticed all of a sudden a gush of urine shooting from behind the wall down onto the concrete floor. I strated giggling an ran over to see who it was and sure enough it was my female friend taking a leak because she couldn't hold it anymore. She just laughed showing no signs of embarassement (because at that time we peed in front of eachother almost every day so it was normal for us) ... And also as soon as the others heard her pee splashing they got out of their hideouts to take a closer look at her. We were all laughing, it was great.

Good times.