Realistic fictional stories

[will57 14]

When I read fictional stories, they don't really feel real and I don't find them that hot. Besides obvious fantasy stories, it seems like they always start like this (made up story, absolutely no offense intended to any of the authors on here or anyone who likes this kind of thing):

Quote

 

"I gotta pee!" said Sabrina, my roommate. She lifted her skirt and slid her panties aside, and immediately her yellow stream began splattering the sidewalk. Sabrina had long dirty blonde hair, 32D tits, and a tight ass. Unlike me, she was willing to pee almost anywhere. As she was emptying her bladder, I started to feel the urge as well, and began looking around for a well-placed shrubbery. As Sabrina's pee began coming to a halt, I snuck a glimpse of her well-trimmed pubes. She had created an enormous puddle on the walkway. I had long dreamed of having the courage to pee as freely as her, but I still couldn't manage it.

As I glanced at her surrepitiously, I felt my own pussy becoming wet. I had recently started developing a crush on her, even though I knew she liked guys. If I ever said anything to her, I was afraid she wouldn't be so open around me. "All done!" she said, as she shook her cute well-groomed pussy dry, and pulled her skirt back down. "Just in time!" she said, as a muscular college guy walked around the corner. She tried to look nonchalant as she squeezed next to me. "That guy looks like fun," she whispered in my ear.

 

anyway, I don't exactly know why it is, but this style of writing doesn't really do it for me. I guess it just feels overdone somehow. Anyone else agree and does anyone have any recommendations for hotter stories?

[Takashi96 1,076]

55 minutes ago, will57 said:

When I read fictional stories, they don't really feel real and I don't find them that hot. Besides obvious fantasy stories, it seems like they always start like this (made up story, absolutely no offense intended to any of the authors on here or anyone who likes this kind of thing):

anyway, I don't exactly know why it is, but this style of writing doesn't really do it for me. I guess it just feels overdone somehow. Anyone else agree and does anyone have any recommendations for hotter stories?

It's hard to write a plot around peeing without it feeling like pandering. Maybe the pee scenes feel unearned because you know they're coming? The hottest pee scenes in fiction are often in non fetish stories. Or they're in erotica, where they feel more spontaneous. I don't know, I guess you just have to do more sampling until you find someone whose style appeals to you?

[colette888 6,967]

My opinion and taste is that for any written tale of whatsoever nature there must present a "lived" background.

What I mean is that the author's mind should be triggered into descriptions which cannot be plausibly achieved without any previous direct experience.

 

[gldenwetgoose 21,488]

Fiction is a very subjective thing which is probably the biggest issue, and you've recognised it's about personal choices.   The example you've quoted may be spot on for others, and certainly it met the author's approval otherwise they wouldn't have posted. But we're all entitled to our preferences without criticising those of others.

There's a huge volume of it in the Pee Fiction section - and like everything there's some that's written with average talent, some better than and some less so.  Again that's subjective though.

Also, fiction is an area which doesn't get much foot traffic unfortunately, so recommendations are relatively scarce - plus new content quickly pushes other down the pages, so it's easy only to see the most recent.   My recommendation would be to stick with it, keep searching and there will be diamonds in there, hopefully making the search worthwhile.

[Kupar 13,339]

@will57 - I understand what you mean. But as @gldenwetgoose says, the stories section of this site does have a huge range of styles. And if you're after realistic, plausible scenarios that build up in a natural way, I *strongly* recommend having a look at the Goose man's work. Some of his stories are utterly believable - and his fiction has, I think, got even better over the years 🙂 He didn't win that award in 2020 for nothing! 

 

[Bacardi 10,134]

I'm the same way. The way I've found to cope is to gravitate toward a favorite author or authors. Some of my personal favorites for writing pee fiction are @somedood123 and @nopjans. They have stories that are on the more realistic end of scenarios and execution.

[Paulypeeps 5,287]

Putting the right amount of detail in, and relevent detail, can be a very hard call. Some people find too much detail a turn off - it delays getting to the nitty-gritty, and some need extra detail to set the scene.

If you write from your true experience no one ever believes it, the made up is often more believable!

[Euro 346]

1 hour ago, Paulypeeps said:

If you write from your true experience no one ever believes it, the made up is often more believable!

Guess that's a  belief  called  "journalism".... Whatever that means. Well prob selling the idea of a self or making some £$ for..?

I much enjoy  fiction, imaginative embellishment, and pure (near)  true biographical accounts. But...

Near impossible to disentangle what is or is not truth or fantasy.  Writing for a specific audience, with a bit of imagination is a whole lot easier and more fun for both.

Writing from the heart of ones own experiences in something near a truth is really quite difficult in both a personal and literary sense.

There are many truths... So I'm told.. A true story biography or autobiography , has by its its nature to be in the public arena and subject to public scrutiny so as to be challenged by anyone who disagrees.

Guess we largely have to take the idea of what is real (fact?) and what is fiction to be a bit of a grey area.

[Maclir 1,060]

 I can speak from experience, writing erotica that comes across as realistic and believable is difficult, pleasing a wide variety of people is next to impossible, and if your subject is peeing (in any form), it's bloody hard.  There are only so many possible scenarios, and trying to come up with something new, but still believable is a real challenge.  I'm not saying that I have mastered it - but I did write one scene that I had a reader tell me "when I read scene [xxx], I had an orgasm, without even having to touch myself".  That was a one-only.

Keep looking - a good site is 'storiesonline.net'.  (and look for the author William Turney Morris - shameless plug)

[Dr.P 1,473]

Very interesting commentary from all of you. I have mulled this question over, many times, and have arrived at a compromise, which seems to work for me. Many, if not most of my fictional stories, had their beginnings, or at least inspirations, in real situations, events, or conversations, with very real people. So I often begin those stories with truthful descriptions of these events, people, and direct quotes from real conversations, then transfer into the fictional realm, at some point, which I may or may not reveal to the reader.

Sometimes I will invite the reader to guess where the narrative changes from truth to fantasy, and sometimes I will reveal it upfront. I almost always post these stories in the fictional stories section, using fictitious names for all characters, as I do in my factual posts.

I have borrowed a description of this style of writing from a line in Kristofferson's song, "The Pilgrim Chapter 33" which goes, "He's a walking contradiction, partly truth, and partly fiction, going every wrong direction, in his lonely way back home." So when I post a story from these dual kinds of sources, I call it a "partly truth and partly fiction" story.

I find that starting the narrative as a true story, in the real world, helps to keep the style of writing as realistic as possible. The disadvantage of this, for me, is that I often include too much detail, since I know the situation and person so well. The reader may want the story to move faster, so I need to pay attention to this.

[gldenwetgoose 21,488]

In the fiction I write, it has to be entirely believable - there has to be a scene which is built up and can be real and believable to the reader.

So this means there's got to be adequate description up front to set the scene.  But then the whole reason of the story is to describe some kink related occurrence - and so often people seem unable to describe that in any detail.  It's the whole point, but people seem to just throw the words in on that bit of the story.

I'm usually writing about female pee of one form of another, often desperation based and sometimes deliberate.  Of course I'm not equipped to know what it feels like to pee as a lady, so my descriptions are sort of the questions in my mind of how it would feel, what timeframe and sequence would lead up to it - and definitely what emotions would result.   Speaking personally - seeing a photo or video of a pee actor is an everyday occurrence, as is reading from the ladies of the community.  But mostly I'm writing about people who've rarely been in the situation of having a wet accident before, so what are their reactions.   What are their preconceptions, their fears of getting caught...

Looking at a lot of fiction, as well as the believability there are a couple of other factors which probably come down to personal choice as to whether people enjoy them or not - the balance between huge blocks of text and pure dialogue scripts.  The use of punctuation.  For me a personal switch off is that when telling a story as something that happened in the past, then it has to be written totally in the past tense.  Elvis left the building.   Not Elvis leaves or would leave...

[Kupar 13,339]

1 hour ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Looking at a lot of fiction, as well as the believability there are a couple of other factors which probably come down to personal choice as to whether people enjoy them or not - the balance between huge blocks of text and pure dialogue scripts.  The use of punctuation. 

Seconded.

And thinking of my own approach, I do make a conscious effort to balance dialogue and description. I'm not saying I get it right, but I try to write something I would enjoy reading.

Furthermore, I realise that some of my stories are erotic fiction with pee thrown in (as it were). And also, some has been written for other people, in a style that they want. As a hack writer for most of my career, that's curiously satisfying - writing to a brief.

[Maclir 1,060]

3 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Looking at a lot of fiction, as well as the believability there are a couple of other factors which probably come down to personal choice as to whether people enjoy them or not - the balance between huge blocks of text and pure dialogue scripts.  The use of punctuation.  For me a personal switch off is that when telling a story as something that happened in the past, then it has to be written totally in the past tense.  Elvis left the building.   Not Elvis leaves or would leave...

Bad grammar is one of my pet peeves.  Nothing makes me drop a story quicker than a lack of (proper) punctuation, the misuse of words, or a solid slab of text without paragraph breaks.  When I was at school, my writing style and grammar was atrocious.  If I can learn, then ANYONE can.  Read it back, people, get someone to edit it for you - very few people can proofread their own writing.

[rochauthrowaway 407]

I've posted quite a few fictional stories here now and I have quite a few thoughts on this topic:

"Realistic" stories don't need to be plausible but they do need to be conceivable. Most of my stories would be pretty unlikely to take place in real life but they definitely could happen.  

I think fictional stories work best when told from the perspective of someone who is sexually interested in what is going on and who acts as a proxy for the reader. I'm a straight male, my stories are written with a straight male audience in mind, and almost all my stories have a straight male protagonist. If you write from the perspective of someone who isn't sexually interested in what's happening, it's going to be really challenging to fit in the sort of sexual details the reader may be interested in into the story in a manner that seems natural. Like "I really needed to pee, so I hiked up my miniskirt, tugged my immodest little thong down, and displayed my gorgeous twenty-year-old pussy and carefully trimmed pubic hair" doesn't really work imo because people in real life wouldn't talk about themselves using that sort of sexual language.

You need details. Not crazy details, but you shouldn't be writing a several thousand word story where the entire payoff is "finally, she dashed behind the bushes and peed". Like, c'mon. What panties is she wearing? How does she squat? Does her piss come out in squirts or in a stream or what? Is she embarrassed, relieved, or nonchalant? Is she shaved or does she have pubic hair? etc., etc., etc.

I've gone down the rabbit hole of writing narrative setups that are way too complicated in the past and they don't work well at all. Simple setups function so much better and I think are truer to real life. For example, "character wants to pee, there isn't a toilet immediately available, they don't feel like holding it" is all the setup you need to explain why someone decides to pee outside. You really don't need anything more than that.

I think there has to be a bit of a naughty element or element of social unacceptability to a really good pee story. Like, a female wildland firefighter pissing outside while fighting a brushfire isn't particularly interesting to me because given the circumstances it would be a completely acceptable and normal thing to do and consequently wouldn't really seem worth reporting on.

Characters should generally act like normal people and not like crazed nymphomaniacs. I would fault OP's example story for this.

More of a preference than anything else, but I really don't like malicious property damage, outright misogyny (and misandry I suppose), and anything more than really mild humiliation. I think stories should seek to have you empathize with the characters.  

Anyways, I am sure I have some other points but that's what comes to mind right now.

Edited May 8, 2023 by rochauthrowaway

[DXR 834]

I agree with the OP.  The ones I like are ones that are written as actual experiences of the author (even if fictional), without dialog or narrative.  They seem more realistic and relatable.  I find that dialogs and narratives distract me from the actions of interest.

[will57 14]

On 5/5/2023 at 3:26 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

Fiction is a very subjective thing which is probably the biggest issue, and you've recognised it's about personal choices.   The example you've quoted may be spot on for others, and certainly it met the author's approval otherwise they wouldn't have posted. But we're all entitled to our preferences without criticising those of others.

I actually made up that example, didn't want to criticize any specific authors on here.

Thanks for the thoughtful replies, everyone!

[PissDude 479]

The problem can be playing to your audience. I have specific words or phrases that resonate with me. I don’t know if many female writers can hit those Communication works in that you have a thought, you encode it into text or voice, the receiver decodes it, and hopefully it’s understood. It doesn’t always work that way. Few female authors can describe a need to relieve themselves in a way that might resonate with me. Likewise, I doubt many male authors can describe a way that will resonate with the female readers.

 

I often use Nerdy Fairy as an example. Her videos are almost perfect. They’re short; usually less than 5 minutes, and she talks about how much she has to relieve herself, but then there’s the payoff: She pisses quite a bit. I’m happy with that. Not too long; not too short; but the payoff is equal to what is described. I’m not sure how to translate that into narrative though. So I don’t know if female authors and male authors can properly write a story to turn each other on.