Kirby23

On 12/12/2023 at 4:53 AM, Alfresco said:

...My wife isn't into pee, but she still bypasses the toilet if she is going into the shower, just seeing it as a convenient and sensible thing to do, but I get more enjoyment out of seeing it emerge from her and colour the water in the tray than she gets out of doing it.

@Alfresco Same! My wife does this almost every day, has done it as long as I've known her. To her it's just normal, part if the routine. 

She doesn't usually let me watch - to her shower time, especially when peeing is involved - is private time, and she doesn't like to be on display. But on the odd occasion when she does allow me to watch, that makes it all the more enjoyable.

Here's another one. The last few describe accidents more than "just go" moments, but still illustrate that most people don't tjink it's a big deal.

I want to resurrect this topic again in order to share that I think this is at least somewhat common, even among "normal" people (without a pee kink).  

I often use Reddit r/sex as my barometer for what is "normal," among a representative cross-section of "average" people.

I've pasted in some screenshots below that illustrate my point. 

As I read everyone's stories here, I often think about missed opportunities I've had in my life. They're mostly situations where I could have seen female peeing, (or in one case taken part in pee play), but instead I either get embarrassed, or I try to be a gentleman and "do the right thing."

The main situation I think of was one time with my ex-wife. We were swimming together at night, and out of nowhere she says "Do you want me to pee on you?" I was totally taken aback, and muttered something like "umm... no." Then "Why???"

She said "I saw pee porn on your computer and just wondered if it was something you wanted to do." I honestly don't recall exactly what I said after that - it was a long time ago. But I definitely felt embarrassed about it at the time, ashamed.

Another situation happened at a party when I was in college. I was in the (only) bathroom, about to pee, and two girls came in. They said they couldn't wait and asked if they could pee. I told them I was about to go. One of them said "We don't mind, you can stay and go after us." But my gentlemanly instinct kicked in and I told them it's ok, I'll give them privacy. I left, they peed then left, then I went back in and peed (kicking myself the whole time). 

I can think of a few other similar situations like this (at parties, concerts, etc.) where I easily could have seen drunk girls pee, but I always give in to trying to be a gentleman, and I look away.

Who else has similar "missed opportunity" experiences?

On 1/19/2024 at 10:55 AM, wetnutt said:

Hopefully you'll get lucky like I did and your wife will get horny again at peri-menopause.  For about 6 month when she was 48 she had to have sex every day which helped re-enforce the importance of keeping up the intimacy as we grow old together. 

@wetnutt Coincidentally, that's the age/stage she's coming up to. No changes in libido yet, but maybe it'll be as you say. A man can hope!

15 hours ago, MommyImWettingMyself said:

...It sounds like you NEED a partner to participate in this kink with you to some degree to feel completely satisfied sexually, and her complete revulsion towards it is not a good fit with that.  Couples/sex therapy is an option but long-term I don't know if this bodes well for success as a couple.  Sounds like maybe your sex drives in general are not all that compatible which is a very common thing.  Hope things get better.  🙌🏻

@MommyImWettingMyself Thanks for the feedback. I wouldn't characterize it as a NEED as much as a strong desire. 

I also wouldn't characterize her feelings as complete revulsion. I think that might've been accurate at first, but it has lessened over the years to something more akin to tolerance now. Albeit grudging tolerance at times perhaps?

Yes, I'd agree that our sex drives don't align, in that I have one and she doesn't. But we've more-or-less settled into a compromise that generally works for both of us in terms of frequency.

21 hours ago, wetnutt said:

 ...And it's great your wife indulges your "kink" occasionally.  Just be sure to indulge her sometimes as a thank you.   With my wife that means buying her an expensive book or a weird plant (not kidding).

@wetnutt Thank you, insightful and appreciated. 

Since my wife isn't particularly into sex very much in the first place, there's not really any potential for a quid-pro-quo of sexual fantasies or kinks or whatever. I do try to be as giving as I can, trying to emphasize her pleasure as much as I can. 

I appreciate your comment about thanking her in other (non-sexual) ways. Makes sense.

16 hours ago, jorel2012 said:

Wanted to do this with my wife for years. 
But I fear this won’t happen as my wife doesn’t like it at all when my pee is involved. 
So I‘m a bit jealous 😉

Aw, thanks. My wife is not "into" pee, but she tolerates it. It's essentially a neutral experience for her. It doesn't add to her pleasure or sensation, and it doesn't detract from it. 

As you can discern from this thread, it has been a long time building to get to this point of relative confort with it for both of us. From her being comfortable/ok with it to me even being able to physically do ot.

She is a medical professional, and through her professional life has come into contact with many bodily fluids, so she was never affected by the "ick" factor. To her "it's just pee."

She has also not experienced any adverse side effects from it - no infections, no problems, other than the occasional dripping out the day after. 

I would definitely stop doing it if she were regularly encountering any adverse after-effects from it.

Good luck to you, hopefully you will get to eventually experience this wonderful feeling!

I have another new update/experience to report.

For the past several months my wife and I had been "out of sync" sexually. It had been a while since she had orgasmed. Nothing was working for her. She was going through a lot of emotional stuff, which can be a killer in the bedroom.

So I decided to give the pee stuff a rest and focus on her instead. Over many weeks there were many massages, I took my time, and focused only on her needs. 

After one massage session, she was lying on her stomach, I was gently caressing her outer vaginal area, and I encouraged her to rub herself from the front. I could tell she was getting into it, so I mixed in some light stroking of her bum with my other hand (which she sometimes likes), and finally, hallelujah, for the first time in months she orgasmed!

Now, a few weeks later, we've repeated this process three or four times, all with the same result - she has been able to orgasm each time. 

So I thought "Hey, maybe I could mix the pee stuff in again when the time feels right." So, this past Friday night, we had a particularly steamy session - she allowed me to use two fingers inside of her (which is unusual for her), and I gently stroked her bum, and she came really hard - goosebumps and everything. 

Meanwhile, I had drank about a liter of water before we started, and after the 30-minute massage and subsequent petting, I needed to pee pretty bad. I asked her if it would be ok to pee inside her, as we've done in the past. She was feeling pretty satisfied and relaxed, so she said sure. 

I knew my bladder was pretty full though, so rather than doing it on the bed with towels, I asked if we could do it in the bathroom. She said ok. I grabbed a towel. Kneeling on the soft bathmat, she got in a doggy-style position, and I entered her from behind. I did a few strokes, savoring the feeling. I began to pee, and let out a reasonable amount, about 1/4 - 1/3 of my bladder. Having created a "seal," none came out. I asked "Ok if I keep going?" She said "Yep."

I let out more, another 1/4 - 1/3. "Still good?" I asked. "Yep." "Do you think you're getting full? None has come out." "I don't know."

I contnued releasing my pee deep into the inner depths of her vagina. All of a sudden it came SHOOTING out! She started laughing, and it kept shooting out like a pee bazooka. It went everywhere, on me, on her, down her legs, and on the floor. We were both laughing, and it just kept coming out. I didn't think I had actually peed that much. I asked "Are you peeing too?" But she said "No, that's all you."

Still inside her, I peed my last few spurts, and came almost at the same time. I dismounted, helped her clean herself up with a towel, then she peed (in the toilet) and we both cleaned up the bathmat and floor.

It was great, and of course I can't wait to do it again!

Someone who I'm close with is a Nurse Practitioner who worked for 25 years in women's health (OB/GYN). One time, fairly recently, I asked her about this, and she said more than half, probably closer to 60-70% of the women she sees are completely bare (shaved, waxed, lasered, etc.). She said most of the rest were natural, and a few here and there were trimmed.

I asked, and there isn't really a trend (according to her). A 50+ year-old is just as likely to be bald as a teen. Some of it was cultural - white women tend to be bald more often than minorities / other cultures.

In fact, one of the things she often saw patients for is ingrown hairs / abcesses, etc. Her advice to prevent them? Stop shaving.

@jorel2012 Interesting! Thanks for sharing!

Kind of a risky gambit, but I'm glad it paid off for you.

16 hours ago, WendyMarty said:

...this group helps as it’s a safe space to know we are not on our own with this. Xx

Absolutely! I couldn't agree more.

19 hours ago, Hidengo said:

These have been around for a while— it’s hospital technology.

Ok, thanks. I assumed it was new because I've just started seeing the commercials. All of a sudden they're being heavily marketed. 

I've been seeing TV commercials recently for the "PureWick Urine Collection System":

https://www.healthproductsforyou.com/p-purewick-urine-collection-system-starter-set-with-battery.html

"PureWick Catheter System works outside the body to draw urine away, helping keep skin dry and allowing for simple, non-invasive urine output management in female patients. It uses low-pressure wall suction, the PureWick Female External Catheter wicks urine away from the patient and into a designated collection canister."

Based on the commercials, it seems to be marketed primarily for use among older women, e.g. to reduce bedwetting and/or nighttime bathroom trips. But it seems to me that pretty much anyone could use it.

I'm kind of still trying to figure out how it works. It has a sort of "wand," which I guess goes between the user's legs? It specifies that it's for external use. And it has suction too. So it's kind of like a small shopvac I guess?

Has anyone else seen the commercials? Would you use this product?

On 12/11/2023 at 1:42 PM, Starks2010 said:

You have to come out and say it. If they have a problem with it then you don’t want them for a partner anyway. 

If they aren’t willing to pee for you then they really aren’t valuable and it’ll leave you seeking for it else where.

It’s like buying a shiny new red car. BUT, it doesn’t have a sunroof. You really wanted that sunroof. If you buy it, it’s nice but it’s really not what you wanted because it doesn’t have that sunroof. Then you’re looking to trade it in for one that has a sunroof. 

@Starks2010 I appreciate your perspective, but I don't agree. Case in point, my wife. She is very much not into anything pee-related, but I love her very much and would never cheat or seek for it elsewhere. She's a wonderful wife, partner, and mother to our kids. We laugh together, have fun together, and are looking forward to growing old together.

In the grand scheme of things I worry about, whether or not my wife is into pee comprises maybe 2% of it. 

Do I wish she was into it? Absolutely. But would I ever jeopardize what I have with her over a pee kink? Absolutely not.

A few days ago my wife, aching from her day's work, commented that she wishes we had a soaking tub or jacuzzi, so she could soak and relax "for hours." She said she'd just lay there, drink wine, and relax. 

I (naturally) asked wouldn't you eventually have to pee? Would you eventually get out, or just let it flow? She said "I don't know, I guess it would depend on how relaxed I was and whether I was ready to get out anyway."

I said "So if you were feeling relaxed, and weren't ready to get out yet, you'd probably just let it flow?" She said "I don't know, maybe."

On 12/22/2023 at 6:17 AM, W1ll_B said:

...My situation is pretty much the same, although in some ways it's different.
My wife and I have been together for a long time, and I've mentioned to her my interest, but she doesn't seem to have any particular interest in "these things."
...

...She is quite neutral about it and might casually mention something related to peeing in an everyday tone without any particular meaning...

...Of course, there would be many things that would be nice to experience that I can't with her, but mostly I would say that I am reasonably satisfied with the situation...

@W1ll_B Thank you for the kind words and empathy. I can particularly relate to several of the things you mentioned, especially the ones I included in the quote. My wife and I do occasionally talk about pee-related things, and that's a nice consolation. 

On 12/21/2023 at 8:40 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

There are a lot of people @Kirby23 who can very much relate to everything you've said - I can personally assure you that you're very much not alone.

When seeing all the amazing content, it's easy to think that everyone has an amazing piss filled sex life, or absolute freedom to have whatever fun befalls them.   But the reality is every one of us are unique, special and gifted in the different situations we find ourselves in.    Personally I think that being with someone who doesn't share our passion actually helps keep us on a level basis.  Perhaps sometimes it's easy to be jealous of others who seem to enjoy so freely?   But ultimately I think deep down every one of us knows life isn't perfect.   Finding a soul mate is a wonderful thing.   Would we ever find another?  Would they be any more open to our wet fun?

I don't have any magic answers - the love for your partner shows through in what you've written, and there's clearly a special bond.   Definitely though don't let yourself feel guilt or shame about your particular interests, or the fact that you enjoy spending time here in this outlet.  Life isn't perfect - the best thing we can do is try to make sure we keep those closest to us happy.   If this place bridges a gap then so be it.

@gldenwetgoose Thank you so much for the kind, heartfelt response. It meant a lot to me.

3 hours ago, Starks2010 said:

...Maybe have a conversation with your wife about how important it is to you and how important she is and if she opened her mind up and thought about the perks of it. Make her feel real sexy. Ask her something that she may want to do to you, anything. 

Thank you for the kind words and advice. Believe me, I've tried. Unfortunately, she's just not a particularly sexual person, and doesn't have any sexual interests or fantasies. There's no potential for a "quid pro quo". Just doing it once a week (for my enjoyment, not hers) is all she can muster. She has said on numerous occasions that she could go the rest of her life eithout having sex, and she would be fine with it. 

Like the title says, this post is about the general ups and downs of life with a partner (in my case wife) who does not share the kink.

We've been together a long time (15+ years), and have a strong marriage, decent sex life, and very solid foundation.

I love my wife very much, but often lament the fact that she does not share my kink in the least. Although we have sex fairly regularly (about once a week), the sex is generally very "vanilla". I enjoy it in the moment, but often wish there was something more.

She knows about my kink, and allows certain indulgences from time to time. She allows me to pee inside her during PIV, which I do occasionally. Although she tolerates it, she doesn't particularly enjoy it, so I don't do it very often. Once in a while she'll allow me to lick her after she has peed. And once in a great while she'll allow me to watch her pee in the shower. 

And although she occasionally allows these things, she definitely doesn't understand the kink. She has kink-shamed me in the past, saying I'm "disgusting," "sick," and even "need professional help." She doesn't really say these things (out loud) anymore, but I suspect she still feels this way. 

The feeling of peeing inside her during sex is like a drug. I almost get high thinking about it, and I crave it like an addict jonesing for their next hit. But as soon as the act is over, I feel guilty about it, like I've done something wrong.

She holds a kleenex or towel to her crotch, and waddles to the toilet, and I just feel ashamed of myself. 

But then a week or two later, I start craving the feeling again.

Who else is in a similar situation? How do you cope with the incompatibilty? What compromises do you or your partner make?

I'd really be interested in hearing others' experiences.

Two other data points:

When I first installed my hot tub at home, I had a quick conversation with a female coworker (Amy) about it. 

I had a spot picked out, but sort of mentioned off-hand that it's a long way to go back inside if one of us needs to pee. Without missing a beat, she said "Just go in the grass."

I said "That's fine if it's just my wife and me, but what about if we have other people there?"

She said "I don't know, when I have people over to use the hot tub, if someone needs to pee, they just go in the grass."

I asked "just women? Or guys and girls both?"

She said if it's just women, they just go right there in the grass (in view of everyone). She said they're all friends and no one cares. But she said if it's guys and girls together, they might go behind the shed (for privacy). But she also said it depends on how much they've been drinking. By the end of the night, they all just go wherever, and no one cares.

The other example is my friend "K". She had a hot tub installed about a year ago out behind her garage. I sort of offhandedly remarked that it's a long way from the bathroom. She laughed and said no one goes inside. If it's just her boyfriend and her, they just go in the grass if they need to. Or if it's cold outside, she'll just hang over the side. I asked what they do if they have people over? She said they haven't had anyone over to use the hot tub yet, so it hasn't come up.

As for me, I definitely pee in public hot tubs, no second thoughts. Even if I don't necessarily have to go, I try to squeeze out at least a little because I enjoy the feeling. I've done it in my own hot tub a little, but not a whole bladder's worth, just a squirt or two to feel the sensation. 

As I mentioned above, my wife is a little more discreet about it, but has attended enough hot tub parties that she has her "tried and true" methods. She said the easiest is to do a "pee walk" - get out of the hot tub, and walk in the grass, for example, to the cooler and back. While doing this, she'll discreetly pee through her swimsuit, down her legs, into the grass. She only does this one if it's dark though, and can do it without being super obvious. 

Another method is the "cool off" method. She'll get out of the hot tub, and sit on the edge, with just her feet remaining in the water. While sitting on the edge, she'll gently release, usually a little at a time, until she's empty. She thinks this method is probably the most common method among party attendees, as people often sit on the edge to "cool off" (and she suspects they're peeing).

Finally, if there's no other way of doing it, she will go in the hot tub, but she uses that as a last resort, only if there's no other way to do it.

She said that she's never really noticed any of the women at these parties going inside to pee, so she suspects they're all doing at least one of these methods.

My wife is an everyday shower pe'er, and she occasionally pees in a public shower if the need arises.

A few times I can think of were around public pools. She usually showers before she gets in the pool, and will generally just pee through her swimsuit while she's showering. She says it's just easier than making a separate toilet trip, and no one can see anyway.

One time when we were at a hotel pool, it was just us (me, wife, kids). She was finished swimming, got out of the pool, and showered in the public shower right next to the pool. I looked close, and thought I noticed her peeing. But obviously it was difficult to be sure, amid all of the water streaming down.

Later, I asked her if she peed under the shower when she got out, and she said yes. I asked "Is that why you got out of the pool? Because you had to pee?" And she said "Yes, partly. I was pretty much done swimming anyway, but I had to pee bad enough that I would probably have gotten out anyway."

My ex wife never wore underwear. I don't think she even owned a pair. So whether she wore jeans, leggings or dress/skirt, she was always commando underneath. 

Contrary to my wife, my ex wife peed outside often. She wasn't usually super obvious about it, but also didn't really care if someone saw her. If she was wearing pants (jeans, leggings, etc.), she would generally pull them to her knees and pop a quick squat. If she was wearing a skirt, sometimes she would stand. 

I'm male, but can answer this on behalf of my wife. She's not really an avid outdoor pisser, but will occasionally pop a squat during a hike if the need arises. For that type of activity, she generally wears leggings (with underwear).

She pulls them down, squats, does her thing, does a light shake, and quickly pulls them back up.