Welcome to the Peefans Pub....

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

Welcome to the Peefans Pub - pull up a chair by the bar.

Today the Peefans Staff have introduced a clarification on site rule #8, it's an important point around using this site as a gateway to other social media sites.  You can read the rule in detail here.

Whenever I try and explain the reason for this rule and some of the other undesirable behaviour we as Staff try to deal with, I find myself using the analogy of a cosy local pub / bar...

So, good evening and welcome to the Peefans Pub.  As a new visitor, picture yourself having just moved into the neighbourhood and visiting your new local pub for the first time.  You walk through the door and up to the bar.  As you walk in you'll see quite a few people already there, some in small groups chatting, some sitting at tables.  Maybe a few sat on their own.  Hopefully the bar tender and a few of the locals will give you a friendly welcome too.

Now at this point - can you imagine walking in and immediately hitting on a pretty girl or a nice looking guy?  You've been there less than two minutes. You've never met them before, you don't know anything about them - but you immediately assume they're just waiting for you to pick them up. Immediately assume they're going to swoon and fall at your feet or whip off their underwear as soon as you've made eye contact?

No - unlikely?  Of course it's unlikely in real life, but it does happen.  Usually of course the bar staff will have an eye out for their regulars and anyone that undesirable would be shown the door pretty quickly.  It's exactly the same here.  We do from time to time get the odd new member strutting onto the site and immediately making very much the wrong impression. Thinking this is a dating site and everyone is a piece of meat for their taking. They also get shown the exit very quickly.

Also continuing the analogy, imagine you've got your first drink and you've been looking around the bar a little. You notice a few members of the opposite sex sitting about - would you very loudly announce that you're looking for a date? Or in the case of this site, announce that you're here because you want someone to pee on you?  No - probably not.  Assuming you didn't walk into the pub on speed dating night, that person you're eying up could be married, engaged, with a partner or anything.  Of course it would make more sense to strike up a friendship and just see what happened from there.

Now - if you haven't given up reading by now - Imagine that you've been in the bar a while, in fact it's become your regular bar and you've become friends with quite a few people. You chat about all sorts of things.

Imagine though if a newcomer walks in and pretty much as soon as they've arrived starts asking people to leave the Peefans Bar to instead go to the pub down the road, can you imagine how quickly they'd get slung out of the door.  You wouldn't walk into a restaurant and ask for a table to eat your own picnic at would you?  In the same way, the bar staff aren't going to allow anyone coming into the bar solely to coax their drinkers into leaving to another bar.

But from time to time that happens here - new members join and soon, without really spending any time here, start advertising their own social media usernames..  follow me here, there, wherever it may be.  That's what Rule #8 is all about.  It's not staff being selfish, but it is about protecting our members and keeping our community safe.

Of course, when you're friends with people in the bar, you've got to know them and they know you, then there's nothing wrong with perhaps arranging to visit another bar with them from time to time.  It'd be rude to make it too obvious, staff aren't going to enjoy you talking openly about a different venue to theirs, but as long as you're not taking trade away from the Peefans Pub then probably nobody will mind.

Does that make sense?   Hopefully you can see where the Staff are at and why all the rules are written the way they are. 

So - Cheers, raise your glasses Ladies and Gentlemen, here's to good health and good company.

[Bacardi 10,132]

I love this. Ive gotten one too many random dick pics in my inbox or people pouncing on me to share pictures and stories of myself. So grateful for you guys keeping our little, beloved community safe!

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

4 hours ago, Bacardi said:

I love this. Ive gotten one too many random dick pics in my inbox or people pouncing on me to share pictures and stories of myself. So grateful for you guys keeping our little, beloved community safe!

We try our best Ma'am....

And of course the message to everyone is if someone treats you like that - click and report it. You certainly won't get in trouble, they will in the first instance just get a friendly arm around the shoulder and some guidance.

[Eliminature 5,209]

Being a frequenter of pubs myself, I love this analogy. You are right, as usual. Thank you as always for looking out for us. 

Mine's a pint please! 🍺😉

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

3 hours ago, Eliminature said:

Being a frequenter of pubs myself, I love this analogy. You are right, as usual. Thank you as always for looking out for us. 

Mine's a pint please! 🍺😉

 

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

I just thought of another part to the analogy too...

When I was a youth at university, I went through a period of desperately wanting a girlfriend and at the same time was desperately shy - so if when I went into the student bars, I'd stand drinking on my own and of course spend all the evening until I left, on my own.  Now I've realised there were probably many other people in just that same situation.

Here on this community we see people post 'Hey, please chat with me' and often get zero response before getting frustrated.  The same thing is applying here, people don't know who this stranger is and are reluctant to make the first move.  So if you're one of the lonely people hoping to get into a chat - instead, be polite, be friendly, support others in their conversations, like what they post and gradually you'll make friends who are just dying to chat and br friends with you.

[Kupar 13,339]

I think you're spot on here @gldenwetgoose. I'm sure the thing to do is to comment positively on all the things one sees, in a respectful way. It's difficult to be part of any conversation by only clicking 'hot', 'like', thanks' etc. Just as in a pub you won't become part of the conversation by just smiling - though that's good too. I am a fundamentally shy person too, but irl when I have made the step to actually talk to someone - in a queue, or in a pub or shop, or even passing them on a country lane - the ice is broken much more than just exchanging a nod of the head. It makes you feel good, and it's from those initial interactions that conversations and even friendships grow.

[JMY 54]

I like this pub!I will sit in the corner nearest the Ladies(of course) and use my imagination as i see them going in but without actually annoying the girls.

[JMY 54]

On 10/25/2020 at 8:55 PM, gldenwetgoose said:

Welcome to the Peefans Pub - pull up a chair by the bar.

Today the Peefans Staff have introduced a clarification on site rule #8, it's an important point around using this site as a gateway to other social media sites.  You can read the rule in detail here.

Whenever I try and explain the reason for this rule and some of the other undesirable behaviour we as Staff try to deal with, I find myself using the analogy of a cosy local pub / bar...

So, good evening and welcome to the Peefans Pub.  As a new visitor, picture yourself having just moved into the neighbourhood and visiting your new local pub for the first time.  You walk through the door and up to the bar.  As you walk in you'll see quite a few people already there, some in small groups chatting, some sitting at tables.  Maybe a few sat on their own.  Hopefully the bar tender and a few of the locals will give you a friendly welcome too.

Now at this point - can you imagine walking in and immediately hitting on a pretty girl or a nice looking guy?  You've been there less than two minutes. You've never met them before, you don't know anything about them - but you immediately assume they're just waiting for you to pick them up. Immediately assume they're going to swoon and fall at your feet or whip off their underwear as soon as you've made eye contact?

No - unlikely?  Of course it's unlikely in real life, but it does happen.  Usually of course the bar staff will have an eye out for their regulars and anyone that undesirable would be shown the door pretty quickly.  It's exactly the same here.  We do from time to time get the odd new member strutting onto the site and immediately making very much the wrong impression. Thinking this is a dating site and everyone is a piece of meat for their taking. They also get shown the exit very quickly.

Also continuing the analogy, imagine you've got your first drink and you've been looking around the bar a little. You notice a few members of the opposite sex sitting about - would you very loudly announce that you're looking for a date? Or in the case of this site, announce that you're here because you want someone to pee on you?  No - probably not.  Assuming you didn't walk into the pub on speed dating night, that person you're eying up could be married, engaged, with a partner or anything.  Of course it would make more sense to strike up a friendship and just see what happened from there.

Now - if you haven't given up reading by now - Imagine that you've been in the bar a while, in fact it's become your regular bar and you've become friends with quite a few people. You chat about all sorts of things.

Imagine though if a newcomer walks in and pretty much as soon as they've arrived starts asking people to leave the Peefans Bar to instead go to the pub down the road, can you imagine how quickly they'd get slung out of the door.  You wouldn't walk into a restaurant and ask for a table to eat your own picnic at would you?  In the same way, the bar staff aren't going to allow anyone coming into the bar solely to coax their drinkers into leaving to another bar.

But from time to time that happens here - new members join and soon, without really spending any time here, start advertising their own social media usernames..  follow me here, there, wherever it may be.  That's what Rule #8 is all about.  It's not staff being selfish, but it is about protecting our members and keeping our community safe.

Of course, when you're friends with people in the bar, you've got to know them and they know you, then there's nothing wrong with perhaps arranging to visit another bar with them from time to time.  It'd be rude to make it too obvious, staff aren't going to enjoy you talking openly about a different venue to theirs, but as long as you're not taking trade away from the Peefans Pub then probably nobody will mind.

Does that make sense?   Hopefully you can see where the Staff are at and why all the rules are written the way they are. 

So - Cheers, raise your glasses Ladies and Gentlemen, here's to good health and good company.

Is THIS the Coach and Horses near Wakefield?

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

On 12/27/2020 at 1:50 PM, JMY said:

Is THIS the Coach and Horses near Wakefield?

It is every good local pub, on the corner of every local street where locals meet to socialise, build friendships, share their woes, celebrate the positives in life and search out sympathy and understanding for lifes harder aspects.

[Calvin45 56]

This is way late, not trying to boost post,  but just while scrolling old posts here, nice analogy. Hopefully, if I do something wrong I will be warned first and have a chance to either fix my wrong doing. I was on another site, was banned for life because of some rule I broke, not sure which one, because it never said. Just one  day went to check, and there it was: You are banned for life for violating a certain rule.... I have an idea to what post I may have accidentally posted on, but in that case, almost half their people should now also be banned. Oh well, I hope that doesn't happen here. 

P.S. sorry for long ramble...

[nutinfancy 577]

I like this analogy!! Though I have to admit when I first joined I was like a kid in a candy store!! There was so much to take in. And thinking everybody was as horny and excited as I was.

And I hope if I offended anyone that they'll forgive me.

And I apologize if I did offend anyone!

I'm thankful for all the admin. Does and the friendships I've made here!!

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

Thanks guys, glad it’s helped - it’s an analogy that works on so many levels. 
 

And just to reassure, we very much work on the basis of education rather than punishment.   When someone maybe gets a bit over excited and posts something that’s a bit out of bounds for Peefans we’ll normally just remove that post.  Often we won’t embarrass the person posting by making a fuss. 

Sometimes we do need to draw attention to the issue, and certainly where it’s a recurring thing - so then we’ll write to the member and explain what the issue is. Not to punish, just to educate on what the issue is and how we’d like to change. 

If that doesn’t do the trick - and it normally does - we can apply a warning point, a shot across the bows.  Nobody else sees or knows about that but it does show up to staff. 
Beyond that we can then apply measures like the member needing staff approval on any posts they make for a period of time, or a temporary restriction.  An actual ban is thankfully very rare.

(The exception is for brand new members when they are obviously completely at odds with the Peefans ethos - spammers or abusive new members for example.   With newbies like that we’re a lot less willing to invest time).

So - pull up a chair by the bar, enjoy being here and don’t worry. 

[MidoriLemonade85 2,366]

I just find it amazing the level of mindful care here, the patience and nurturing and educating the mods do. Especially with all the challenges that spammers bring. The personal touch too... If I get told off by Facebook, it’s by AI, not a person. I can’t ask for clarification. If I put a foot wrong here, I know the mods will be gentle with me and converse about the issue in a human way, not a blunt, robotic way. This is becoming so rare in these days of automation. It’s truly a gift to be appreciated and cherished. There is just so much love here, in our pee-connected, international family. I know I am safe and protected here. I can be free here. I can be open and let my walls down in a way I can’t do elsewhere. 
 

This pub is a true treasure. 💚

[Mary Moon 1,980]

Let's say that this forum is quite rare, even if it has an erotic theme, i have never received unpleasant messages so far. I felt good here, so much so that for the first time I shared some hot photos of myself.

[puddyls 26,253]

while i do post in (visit) a handful of other places online, this "pub" has always seemed kinda like home. its definitely the one that i have frequented the longest, and feel the safest at. i'm sure that is not only due to the admins' diligence, but also because of the members that do end up sticking around sharing the vision for this unique space.

🥂 ¡salud!

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

7 minutes ago, puddyls said:

while i do post in (visit) a handful of other places online, this "pub" has always seemed kinda like home. its definitely the one that i have frequented the longest, and feel the safest at. i'm sure that is not only due to the admins' diligence, but also because of the members that do end up sticking around sharing the vision for this unique space.

🥂 ¡salud!

Bless you @puddyls - and of course everyone's allowed to visit anywhere they like.

On the barstaff keeping a watchful eye though, only yesterday I removed a comment in someone else's thread asking (I'll be polite and say 'asking') for some content, like it was some sort of right or the creator was in some way at their beck and call.   In the UK hospitality industry there's a fairly well known informal thing where someone feeling at risk or vulnerable in a pub, like maybe a girl on a date that's turned out to be a mistake or someone fearing violence or abuse can ask the staff for 'Angela'.  And the staff will recognise that call for help and arrange safety for the person.

We have exactly the same here with the Report Button - if someone if being inappropriate in PM or on the forum, one click is all it needs for us to be made aware and gently resolve the situation.

Edited October 15 by gldenwetgoose

[puddyls 26,253]

54 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Bless you @puddyls - and of course everyone's allowed to visit anywhere they like.

On the barstaff keeping a watchful eye though, only yesterday I removed a comment in someone else's thread asking (I'll be polite and say 'asking') for some content, like it was some sort of right or the creator was in some way at their beck and call.  

that infuriates me to no end. i'm glad y'all caught it. no one should be made to feel that way. there is another site i've revisited lately (one that isn't fetish or porn related, but also doesn't censor my content), where that seems to happen to me a lot. and i use the block button there quite often. which kinda reminds me why i stopped going there in the 1st place. though, i also feel like a lot of the "members" are bots now. which in it's own way is a little amusing. but can also be quite annoying. like i know translation software isn't perfect, but sometimes the messages and comments i get there are like 🤯 what? 

[gldenwetgoose 21,487]

Please remember - we're just at the end of a 'Report' button.   Just click the three dots and there it is, the first option.   And it's equally valid for anything received in PM too.

Or you can always drop one of us @Scot_Lover @Sophie or myself @gldenwetgoose a message with any concerns.

[puddyls 26,253]

definitely i good tool to have. and use. 

Edited October 15 by puddyls