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I'm really struggling with the 'if you can't say anything nice don't say anything' concept, in that I pretty much know I shouldn't complain because it wouldn't be helpful (and could be downright rude) to other members...    But I'm really frustrated at the moment with the chatbox.

To add a bit of context, as some will know I've just had to deal with my father's death and the aftermath of travelling overseas alone to deal with the situation.  During that time I felt very alone, and PF was actually a great source of comfort. I was able to keep my laptop or phone online for much of the time which I can't normally.   There were a lot of times when it wasn't about the site images and stories - but just the social aspect of members chatting about normality and personal messages which got me through.  I also found myself almost overdosing on the site which has probably compounded my issues.

So, back to chatbox - firstly I'm disappointed that so few people regularly use it.  I know there are 25000 members and maybe 25-50 who contribute in any form to the forum, but far fewer seem to chat. There's a timezone issue where people are most active.  Then as in this week, somebody engages in conversation, asks a direct question and then doesn't come back to acknowledge my reply at all despite still being online.  I find that frustrating.

Now finally, I don't want to be derogatory or criticise anyone else's fetish - but I've noticed that on the occasions when people are on chat, maybe having a normal world conversation, another member or two start off a fairly specific conversation and everybody else just vanishes.  I do know a couple of members who have commented that it's something that bugs them too.  Recently (and maybe it's because everybody is off on Christmas holidays) the people who have the normal world conversations don't seem to be joining anymore.  But, I'm happy to accept it's me that's at odds here and why shouldn't they chat in that way?

 

So - I'm not sure there are any easy answers - I'm not even sure there's a real problem other than me being a bit lonely. It could easily be me unrealistically wanting too much or even wanting something that's against the PF ethos.  I know chat is there for all and of course we are a peeing centric site - is there something which can be improved, can we create a culture where more people do congregate to chat?

What do other people think?

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I would love it if the chat was used more. I enjoyed the few occasions where I participated in small random discussions (that sometimes also were partially about peeing).

I have no idea what could be changed to improve this. I have to say that I also enjoy talking about peeing. Asking a woman if she has to pee is pretty hot in itself, just because it is something that you usually don't do when talking to your "normal" friends. And also because I would imagine that some of the women on this site at least occasionally enjoy talking about their need to pee.. 🙂

@gldenwetgoose:
It is true that sometimes there are discussions about rather specific topics that "dominate" the chat, but it was never a problem for me, as I never had the impression that there is a "general" discussion that was disturbed by this. I also do not fully understand what you would classify as "general" and "specific" (two examples where I participated in and that I enjoyed: talking about a live football match, and talking about the idea of "peeing races" in a space station, are these "specific" or "everyday" discussions?  🙂 ).

It is true that it is not really possible to have multiple such discussions going on in parallel in a chat, but as most of the time there is no discussion at all I see no problem in talking about these things. I'd rather have one "specific" discussion about whatever than no discussion at all.

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That's summed things up @Sweets & @HitEmAll....

A common theme there is people like to chat about varied subject manner, and to have interactive chat.   If someone posts an open question or directly to me and I reply whilst they're still online I'd hope they're keeping an eye on chat so we can work up a conversation, otherwise it's not a conversation.

Also as you say @HitEmAll -  some chat which turns towards pee is great, it is as said what we love.  That peeing in space chat the other week was great.  But it's the feeling harassed that bugs me - am I desperate???   Actually no, and to be frank it's a bit of a turn off when it's forced.

I guess what I'm getting at is having an etiquette around how people introduce and use the chat is what I'm getting at.....    but I'm quite willing to accept that I'm the exception.

As for your final comments - yes any chat is probably better than none at all...

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Very open to ideas.But in the meantime, I believe it's only a very small group of members people are referring to with 'those' messages, and I would highly encourage you to simply add those couple of users to your ignore list (for the the chatbox at least):

https://peefans.com/ignore

 

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I’m yet to use the chat myself because my initial impressions of it is very similar to what @Sweets already said. 
 

Yeah I get that this is a pee forum and we’re all on here with a common interest but there’s only so many times a day you can pee and what not and it’s very dull looking on the chat page and see blunt and simply unoriginal questions like ‘who needs to pee?’, “I’m desperate for a pee”, “anyone peed today”, I mean you get the idea. Totally unoriginal and frankly just boring. So I tend to stay clear. 
 

My second gripe is that it seems to be a few people on the chat want to use it as a way to hook up, which I see nothing wrong with but it’s done with such lack of tact that it’s off putting even to me as a guy. Just coming right out the gate with silly questions like who ‘wants to pee on me’ and the usual ‘any girls on here that like pee’.... 🤦🏾‍♂️.

 

Personally, I’d have hoped that the chat would have been a place for active users to perhaps you know, chat??  A place for users to get to know each other and chat about what’s going on in their day to day and see where that may lead. I mean we have pee specific forums that cover almost everything pee related so it would be nice if the chat section could be just that. 
 

 

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5 hours ago, Sands3t said:

Personally, I’d have hoped that the chat would have been a place for active users to perhaps you know, chat??  A place for users to get to know each other and chat about what’s going on in their day to day and see where that may lead. I mean we have pee specific forums that cover almost everything pee related so it would be nice if the chat section could be just that. 
 

 

Let's all make chat be like that - we can change the world....

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I have added official chat rules to prevent these kind of posts, but in terms of activity, please also remember this is down to all of us. We can't complain the chat is not active but then not post much ourselves. If more people start conversations, especially by asking interesting questions, it will get a lot busier. 🙂 

 

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Just wanted to say I really enjoyed the more "natural" chat with @gldenwetgoose and @T-Virus yesterday. Would love to chat with you guys again! 

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5 hours ago, Sophie said:

Just wanted to say I really enjoyed the more "natural" chat with @gldenwetgoose and @T-Virus yesterday. Would love to chat with you guys again! 

Ditto - Thanks T & S - it was a great chat, great to get to know one another a bit better...

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21 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Ditto - Thanks T & S - it was a great chat, great to get to know one another a bit better...

Thanks to both of you! I enjoyed being able to talk about other parts of the U.S. and World, as well as my state. Would love to have another casual conversation as well.

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I don't use it that often because of my timezone. And yes i know that this is a pee site but when i only see " i have to pee" " im desperate" i loose interesst. Usually because it's guys writing that and im straight but of course i understand that they need to be allowed to do that. Im not stepping on anyone here this is a pee site and everyone is allowed to express their fetishes. But mabye we could have a "clean" chat and a fetish chat?

Edited by Peefreak99

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3 hours ago, Peefreak99 said:

I don't use it that often because of my timezone. And yes i know that this is a pee site but when i only see " i have to pee" " im desperate" i loose interesst. Usually because it's guys writing that and im straight but of course i understand that they need to be allowed to do that. Im not stepping on anyone here this is a pee site and everyone is allowed to express their fetishes. But mabye we could have a "clean" chat and a fetish chat?

I understand your frustrations. The time zone thing must be a nuisance.

As for the other stuff, I am with you on that. People rocking up with "I have to pee" and shit like that are fundamentally boring when that is all they have to say. It is not a normal and interesting conversation. It is possible to talk about pee as part of a normal and interesting conversation, but some people do not seem capable. The impression I get is that they want to use chat to masturbate to rather than actually interact more socially. It is inherently selfish behaviour. 

There are in fact chatroom rules now, the second of which explicitly states that constantly changing the subject back to pee instead of going with the flow of the conversation is against chatroom rules. Persistent offenders risk being banned from the chatroom. So by all means report with screenshot evidence anyone doing this.

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17 hours ago, Peefreak99 said:

I don't use it that often because of my timezone. And yes i know that this is a pee site but when i only see " i have to pee" " im desperate" i loose interesst. Usually because it's guys writing that and im straight but of course i understand that they need to be allowed to do that. Im not stepping on anyone here this is a pee site and everyone is allowed to express their fetishes. But mabye we could have a "clean" chat and a fetish chat?

The chat has got a lot better. Some people have been banned.  It is a lot more pleasant to chat in now.   We complain about that some thing a couple months ago that’s when rules were put in place.  

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Yes, as Sweets and Steve said, the rules recently change to fix the problem you are describing @Peefreak99- maybe they will crop up very occasionally, but if they do you can simply report them. 

I think multiple chats would just decrease the activity. Plus, the fetish chat would probably feel like a spammy sex chat room, and it would mean the clean chat can never move on to the topic of pee. In my view, having one chat works best, as then normal topics can be discussed, but then if pee naturally comes up, it's of course a topic we all enjoy discussing. Feels odd to have a chat on a pee site where it can't be discussed.

I've definitely seen a lot of good chats in the chatbox since the rules changed, so I don't think any changes are needed for now.

As for the timezone, I recommend you initiate conversations in the chat, there is never any time of day where nobody else is online, it is just a case of getting the chat going. Most people always wait for others to do that though.

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My interpretation of the chat box is to meet and talk with like minded people. It interesting to see how other people are living, what the weather is like, just fairly normal things. 
We are all on site under a common theme, we know why we are here after all, why be bombarded with the endless ‘I’m holding’ or ‘I need to pee’?  I’ve had to bite my fingers a few times, resist the urge to tell to go pee then, get it done with. 

The changes have made a difference, apart from the Timezone thing, it’s working quite well. Leaving the sound thing on also helps, when it pings, I head back to the chat to check up on it.

Thanks to all, for making it a better place.

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5 hours ago, Scot_Lover said:

My interpretation of the chat box is to meet and talk with like minded people. It interesting to see how other people are living, what the weather is like, just fairly normal things. 
We are all on site under a common theme, we know why we are here after all, why be bombarded with the endless ‘I’m holding’ or ‘I need to pee’?  I’ve had to bite my fingers a few times, resist the urge to tell to go pee then, get it done with. 

The changes have made a difference, apart from the Timezone thing, it’s working quite well. Leaving the sound thing on also helps, when it pings, I head back to the chat to check up on it.

Thanks to all, for making it a better place.

I agree The weather is a nice opener to start a chat. It’s different for each of us and it gets the conversation going. It can turn into a few directions from there. You right the in hold and I have to pee was really annoying. I felt just like u did well go fucking pee.  And I hate when they would ask when do u go pee last. I don’t fucking know I didn’t time it and it wasn’t eventfully either  if it would have been u would see a video posted 😈.   
it’s been very nice talking to you lately. Alway enjoy our chats.  

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Oh and by the way after y’all banned mkbigboy he was running his mouth in out chat about peefans. I told him off and left my own chat room on Skype  and most everyone followed me. I started a new one.  

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well I amm am a newbie around these parts as it were and am learning the ropes. Thing is chat will be as good as we make I am by nature a positive chap so I can only hope if wel all try to keep trting the good people will come through in the end 

 

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Well @uhtred - newbie or not, you've got the right attitude.  Everything on the forum is in a fairly logical place - so with a bit of browsing round it's all fairly clear.

You've got a great approach, in taking a bit of time to see what's happening in chat, who's online and so on and contribute to their conversations - I get the feeling some of the newbies think the site is like a premium rate phone chat thing with a row of girls for them to be crude with.  I've only been a member for months really, but have got some amazing friendships through listening, sharing and contributing.

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On 2/9/2020 at 11:06 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

Well @uhtred - newbie or not, you've got the right attitude.  Everything on the forum is in a fairly logical place - so with a bit of browsing round it's all fairly clear.

You've got a great approach, in taking a bit of time to see what's happening in chat, who's online and so on and contribute to their conversations - I get the feeling some of the newbies think the site is like a premium rate phone chat thing with a row of girls for them to be crude with.  I've only been a member for months really, but have got some amazing friendships through listening, sharing and contributing.

i mirror your experince my friend it appears to an egalitaion place

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Hi @gldenwetgoose firstly sorry to hear about the loss of your father that's never easy even if it's expected. I am glad that this place could help you though during that difficult time

I am going to talk from a personal perspective here whilst I would love to chat more I struggle to do this since I feel that people have their groups and I am an outsider. I know that's just me but I struggle with this I do appreciate that for this to get easier I need to make an effort and actually start a conversation. The time zone thing does contribute towards this well for me personally. However I will try to use the chat more and if I see you online I will be sure to try and strike up a conversation with you. I will however understand if you don't want to talk to me since you don't really know me. Anyway sorry I can't be more helpful in terms of improving the chat and getting more people to chat.

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Thank you so much for your thoughts and kind words @lovestoseepee - I'm doing ok thanks in terms of my father - it was a tough time during December and a good chunk of January. The hardest parts (I hope) are now addressed and moving forwards. I've been surprised by some of the positives - you brace yourself for the hard parts, like expecting to cope with things alone, then good people come out of nowhere, pick you up, dust you down and help.

In terms of chat I can completely understand where you're coming from. I'm much the same in real life, often I haven't got a clue what to say.  In terms of chat online, my perception is that there are many times when chat is dead - so a quick hello gains no responses. I can be just as guilty in that respect. My life here is hidden, so sometimes when I get chance I can be logged on all day and other times I'll have a quick half hour or less. In the latter cases I may not chat for exactly that reason - I won't be about to see the follow-up.

I think the perception of groups comes from there being a number of people who are active and can be quite animated together. So when two or more are online together there can be a close chat going on. I don't believe there's any intention (I hope there isn't) to exclude anyone. Sometimes someone will jump in with a completely different opener, and that can get ignored ("any girls want to chat?" when everyone else is chatting about a movie for example).  My suggestion would be if there's a half interesting chat going on, join in - even if just saying 'Hi, really like that idea' or whatever.  You don't have to start off the chat.

If you see me online please do say Hi and I'll do the same - please don't be offended if I appear to ignore. It'll be because I've left my phone logged in or similar.  By all means feel free to PM me too.

Most of all - have fun!

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I think another consideration in regards to the chat here are that the conversations (and history) are available to everyone regardless of being a member or not. When members post into the forum I suspect they think about what they are posting and aware that it may be read by anyone. When in chat what is posted is more instant/flowing and probably doesn’t allow for the the same consideration so may put some off joining.

Well the above is certainly true for myself anyway, I happily chat in PM (on topic or otherwise) but not so keen when open to public view. #mytwopence

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