Missing In Action

[gldenwetgoose 21,498]

I might be going a bit overboard here....    But has anyone heard from @Riley recently???

Normally she's pretty consistently active and online most days, certainly she was in the latter part of August - however doesn't appear to have been online since the end of the month.

There's probably a perfectly down to earth and boring explanation - being on a trip, busy at work, internet problems and so on.  I know though that in the not too distant past she's expressed a few 'difficult times' of personal challenges.

 

So, just wondered if she'd been in personal touch with anyone - I'm missing her content, it just always seems to align with exactly what ticks my boxes....

[Pissdrinker 874]

Haven’t heard and I miss her too 😞

[Admin 14,791]

Good point.

As you said, it's always incredibly tricky in these situations, as it's only just over a week so there's almost certainly a reasonable explanation, but when someone is here quite a lot and then suddenly isn't it's definitely noticeable. 

Hope everything is ok Riley!

I personally haven't heard anything, but hopefully someone has. 🙂 

[speedy3471 10,655]

I've noticed she had been MIA as well. I hope as is well with her, iam sure she is just fine

[spywareonya 37,962]

Riley and I recently bonded deeply, united by respect for our painful path, Riley ain't occultist but her sensibility scrapes those levels and sensitive people ALWAYS suffer

We started to pm heavily and talking to her is a breath of fresh air, but I have been missin just as much so I hadn't heard of her… I'll try to PM her

[Peefreak99 3,722]

I think i saw her a few days ago but im sure shes ok when she has been gone for a month we can start to worry 

[Peefreak99 3,722]

Speaking of missing people i have not seen brutus for a loooong time

[speedy3471 10,655]

5 hours ago, Peefreak99 said:

Speaking of missing people i have not seen brutus for a loooong time

Yes I've noticed he hasn't been around in awhile either. 

[Peefreak99 3,722]

@Brutus what's up bro?

[Brutus 2,206]

10 hours ago, Peefreak99 said:

@Brutus what's up bro?

Hey. Nothing much. I just fell out of logging in since my primary reason is usually to post or discuss fiction and I've sort of lost interest. Sometimes I browse the forum without logging in and if I see something that interests me, I resurface for a bit.

[speedy3471 10,655]

15 minutes ago, Brutus said:

Hey. Nothing much. I just fell out of logging in since my primary reason is usually to post or discuss fiction and I've sort of lost interest. Sometimes I browse the forum without logging in and if I see something that interests me, I resurface for a bit.

Good to see you back here again 

[Riley 13,064]

Im really sorry for everything. The truth is, i'm a mess right now. Life is just a mess right now. Im just taking everything one day at a time and trying to manage my life. I haven't eaten in... a while... and have been crying for a while now. Im sorry i feel like im just dragging everyone on the forum down. I just... Im sorry for everything. Im sorry I cant be the person I should be on the forum, Im sorry im such a mess, Im sorry i suck at talking and just cant even do life properly. I think im just bad at everything. I dont think I am making any sense and im sorry I just.... idk. I honestly wasn't going to log on but then I saw this thread and didnt want to fail everyone further, so... im here. Im sorry if there are a lot of grammar errors my vision is really blurred right now. 

[Sophie 24,412]

Raven, you don't have to apologise at all, not for a single thing. Life is hard, we understand that. We just wanted to make sure you were okay because we love you! 

Please don't feel like you have to log in just for us or think you have to change who you are. Be yourself . If you need some time off that's perfectly fine, we'll be right here to welcome you back with open arms when you are ready. 

Stay strong, you can do it, I know you can. Things may be rough now but storms pass and things will be calm again. 

Hugs 

[gldenwetgoose 21,498]

Exactly what Sophie said - we all care a lot.  That's not meant to pressure you into feeling that you should be reacting some way, or being someone in particular.

It is meant to say we care about you, when you feel down we feel down. When you're here, sure we love the stuff you post, but you've earned our respect in that when you're not here we notice and want to help.

Take your time - if you don't feel able to log in then don't. If you feel pressured to be someone online because you think that's what we expect then don't.  But do look after yourself.  Try and eat. Try and see that there is a glimmer of light in the darkness. Turn to face that glimmer of light and when you're ready, start to make small steps towards it.  Better days will come and we're here to share them when you're ready.

xxx

[WantonLee 861]

Raven, I don't know what it is that currently messes your life up - but if you want to answer with "me is messing my life up" then be aware that it is also you that can un-mess your life.

 

Anyway, if you want to get something of your chest, go ahead. The worst thing that can happen is nothing.

But if you do not want advice, let us know that you just want to vent steam.

If you however _ARE_ looking for advice, or at least a different point of view, do go ahead. Again, the worst thing that can happen is nothing.

 

But what ever you do - take control over your life. It's your's, so stare your problems in the face and kick'em in the nuts!

[Peefreak99 3,722]

Raven you have not done anything wrong so there is no need at all to apologize. We all like you very much and we want you to be ok that's why this thread was created❤

[spywareonya 37,962]

@Riley

Sophie is right

We struggle, my sweet, sinful angel… my beloved fighter… we are born to fight...

I am traversing a difficult moment myself

Alex confessed to me some of his most intimate doubts about life, about the inherent shadows he feels, hidden in the nonsenses we daily express… and we started a personal trip toward our depths to definitely debunk what restrain us from living to the fullest

 

I want to ask forgiveness to @steve25805, @Peefreak99, @speedy3471, @Admin, and all my friends, for being so absent, but in the past months I felt a growing distance between the degrees of absolute love I wanna give to this forum, and my actual capability, engendered not by problems here, but some hidden immaturities which lingered in me from the times I was a vigilante and risked life daily

 

I somehow unvoluntarily transmitted the message that life is an empty box, innocent of being pointless, yet empty nonetheless, and that courage and love can and must fill it with light. it seems brave and optimistic but it's not, inherently

 

The truth is that life possesse an inherent light, that can be perceived when we let our old self go

I am completely destroying myself to be reborn again

 

I will come next week with a new video, which I shot this past weekend during the fullmoon, on a marvellous seaside location. It is maybe my favourite, most romantic and deep video until now. It is been sending to Admin while I write thee lines,  and it will be set live this weekend if Admin manages to, you guys should never forget he is a human being full of duties like we all are, but I hope we will manage to, as this weekend is the Autumn Equinox, and the video was ment to be for it

It will come with story attached, it was an impossibly romantic night of no-streetlamps seaside walking, public bench full sex, and pissing (not only the one you'll see in the video)

And before Halloween a new, horror-themed photobook will be shot. The Halloween video will be scary, long and horror-themed. Beware.

I tought about this places during all days of my absence. My love for the people here extended even byond what I was able to until recently, I feel like I am ten years older, and my love for each one of you is just as mature

For those who believe this, I also had some impressive occult experiences, like a ritual I performed and feared it failed, ending up with my body actually pushed down on my bed, by a physical, invisible push, not a sensorial/nerves hallucination. Alex too was scared.

I am also progressing in a power fashion in my employement, and Alex will spend the next months trying to publish a thriller book he wrote, of which he's currently writing a sequel even before obtaining knowledge of green light from publishers

 

My life is starting to take a new direction

I love you all from the depths of my heart

ALL of you

Even if I did not mentioned you with the @ function, as I used ti only for those which with I PM daily, and I am sure they felt my absence more

It was my destiny, a necessity, Beyond personal choice

But my love stands unsurrended

Be sure, all of you, that I will check all you guys posted while I was away

Nothing will be left behind by my love

I crave for you, both sexual and non-sexual threads

I love you

I love this forum

Thank you Admin for creating it, thank you Peefaners for inhabiting it, thank you my closest friends for putting so much of yourselves into making this place legendary

I will be back

with a magnitude you never saw since a lot

Thank you all

See you very soon

[speedy3471 10,655]

9 hours ago, spywareonya said:

@Riley

Sophie is right

We struggle, my sweet, sinful angel… my beloved fighter… we are born to fight...

I am traversing a difficult moment myself

Alex confessed to me some of his most intimate doubts about life, about the inherent shadows he feels, hidden in the nonsenses we daily express… and we started a personal trip toward our depths to definitely debunk what restrain us from living to the fullest

 

I want to ask forgiveness to @steve25805, @Peefreak99, @speedy3471, @Admin, and all my friends, for being so absent, but in the past months I felt a growing distance between the degrees of absolute love I wanna give to this forum, and my actual capability, engendered not by problems here, but some hidden immaturities which lingered in me from the times I was a vigilante and risked life daily

 

I somehow unvoluntarily transmitted the message that life is an empty box, innocent of being pointless, yet empty nonetheless, and that courage and love can and must fill it with light. it seems brave and optimistic but it's not, inherently

 

The truth is that life possesse an inherent light, that can be perceived when we let our old self go

I am completely destroying myself to be reborn again

 

I will come next week with a new video, which I shot this past weekend during the fullmoon, on a marvellous seaside location. It is maybe my favourite, most romantic and deep video until now. It is been sending to Admin while I write thee lines,  and it will be set live this weekend if Admin manages to, you guys should never forget he is a human being full of duties like we all are, but I hope we will manage to, as this weekend is the Autumn Equinox, and the video was ment to be for it

It will come with story attached, it was an impossibly romantic night of no-streetlamps seaside walking, public bench full sex, and pissing (not only the one you'll see in the video)

And before Halloween a new, horror-themed photobook will be shot. The Halloween video will be scary, long and horror-themed. Beware.

I tought about this places during all days of my absence. My love for the people here extended even byond what I was able to until recently, I feel like I am ten years older, and my love for each one of you is just as mature

For those who believe this, I also had some impressive occult experiences, like a ritual I performed and feared it failed, ending up with my body actually pushed down on my bed, by a physical, invisible push, not a sensorial/nerves hallucination. Alex too was scared.

I am also progressing in a power fashion in my employement, and Alex will spend the next months trying to publish a thriller book he wrote, of which he's currently writing a sequel even before obtaining knowledge of green light from publishers

 

My life is starting to take a new direction

I love you all from the depths of my heart

ALL of you

Even if I did not mentioned you with the @ function, as I used ti only for those which with I PM daily, and I am sure they felt my absence more

It was my destiny, a necessity, Beyond personal choice

But my love stands unsurrended

Be sure, all of you, that I will check all you guys posted while I was away

Nothing will be left behind by my love

I crave for you, both sexual and non-sexual threads

I love you

I love this forum

Thank you Admin for creating it, thank you Peefaners for inhabiting it, thank you my closest friends for putting so much of yourselves into making this place legendary

I will be back

with a magnitude you never saw since a lot

Thank you all

See you very soon

No forgiveness is necessary. Life gets busy, iam glad you popped in and said hello😀

I looks forward to your new video and photo book. Congratulations to Alex, that's awesome. Quite an achievement 

[spywareonya 37,962]

On ‎9‎/‎19‎/‎2019 at 2:44 AM, speedy3471 said:

No forgiveness is necessary. Life gets busy, iam glad you popped in and said hello😀

I looks forward to your new video and photo book. Congratulations to Alex, that's awesome. Quite an achievement 

My new story is live!!!

[steve25805 126,156]

On 9/18/2019 at 3:59 PM, spywareonya said:

And before Halloween a new, horror-themed photobook will be shot. The Halloween video will be scary, long and horror-themed. Beware.

I so very much look forward to this.