Why Bond films are crap.

[F.W 5,734]

I will begin by saying ive seen every single Bond movie,up to any of Daniel Craig,after Casino Royale.(it sent me to sleep)I used to not care much for Roger Moore,but now i find them not so bad,out of his 7,i can watch about 4 of them.But Daniel Craig to me,is as much James Bond,as having Will Smith playing Dirty Harry.Just-wrong somehow..

Lazenbys was good,i dont get the criticism it seemed to get,and i regret Dalton didnt get a chance to do a few more.Connery of course,comes top.

So,out of the 21 i have seen,i have enjoyed,a few more than others.I think Goldfinger MUST be the No 1 Bond movie.

However,as i get older,i realise the flaws in them.The largest is that even before you see the movie,no matter what happens,you KNOW Bond isnt going to die,he will get into scrapes,he will be immersed in shark infested waters,he will be in a car crash at 100 mph and walk away,with only some dirt on his shoes.He will get into a gunfight with 20 Russian soldiers,armed with automatic weapons,and kill each of them.

Then you know he will get into bed with about 3 women.This on MY taxpayers money.I would rather he was simply flying out to Jamaica wherever,find the evil megalomaniac,kill him,and back home for breakfast.Why does it seem to take him about 3 months to accomplish his mission,going off and bedding glamourous women,in the worlds top 5 star hotels at taxpayers expense,smashing up classic cars,worth hundreds of thousands.

All very entertaining,but nonsense.I have worries about the series once Craig packs in.It will become a P.C fest.

I can recommend anyone however read the Ian Fleming novels.Brilliant.And Bond can be anyone you choose it to be.

[mickymoist 3,515]

Completely agree that Connery was the best and the books are brilliant...but

wasn't fussed on Lazenby, Moore or Dalton,   I don't expect much from this type of film so I think your comment "All very entertaining, but nonsense" sums it up nicely and thats the type of film I enjoy these days.

[appletree_man 28]

Cant agree more, lets face it the films have always been a little "park your brains by the door when you go in to watch them", best not to think too hard about them 🙂  And for me I always thought Brosnan was a pretty good take on the Bond in the books (who, lets face it was a far more vicious / unemotional person than the screen versions).

[oliver2 4,422]

“Don't examine this too closely” - producer Don Belisario to an overly persistent fan at a sci fi convention 

[gldenwetgoose 21,500]

Think of the target audience as your average 14yr old......    An agent who gets to travel in private jets, has cool secret gadgets, drives the same cars they drive in Forza, shoots everyone up like they do in Call of Duty and at the end of the day gets to bed the girl they spend their nights masturbating about.  A winning movie formula.

Personally I prefer Daniel Craig, certainly to Roger Moore or Sean Connery.  Bond is supposed to be a Royal Navy Commander and certainly the latter two are typical age for that rank, but in real life can you imaging them being able to put up that much of a fight.  Certainly Craig looks tough enough and shows the tough guy on edge of breakdown side too.  I'm not a great fan of the stupid gadget side of things either....

[Peefreak99 3,722]

I fucking HATE james bond grrrrrr. First of all cut the " cool gentleman" crap im not saying you should not be a gentleman what im saying is if it's a action movie i rather hear " DIEEEE MOTHERFUCKEEEEERS" then " a dry martini pleasse shaked not stirred" and i want to see him shooting not picking up girls im watching a action movie for the damn action picking up girls and drinking " shaked but not stirred" martinis is not action. 

[gldenwetgoose 21,500]

I think you may have hit the nail on the head @Peefreak99....    I'm not 100% sure you can really call and of the Bond series an 'action movie'.

[mickymoist 3,515]

agree to a large extent but theres a lot of action in the Daniel Craig ones

[Cuckoo42 1,274]

** My personal opinion** please dont be offended by my thoughts and reasons

I think the phrase you are looking for is "suspension of disbelief". 

Personally, i wasnt a fan of Connery, i thought he was too relaxed in most scenarios, and very much the womaniser. i much preferred Roger Moore, because he got the cars and gadgets, some of the best women, and all the best tongue in cheek lines. His era of films were treated as semi comedic while having a more serious plot. Yes there were a few anomalies MOONRAKER was probably the biggest one, but he got Lois Chiles at the end "i think he's attempting re-entry Sir" 😁

Lazenby was OK, but we only saw him in one film, he was just dressed wrong, he was too foppish in his kilt and ruffs.

Dalton was very good, brought a harder edge to the character, and also got hot women (the blonde in Living Daylights). The Licence to Kill film was all about him going "off the reservation" and avenging 

Brosnan was excellent, witty but good action scenes, and fitted the playboy image well. Good acting too.

Daniel Craig good also, but the plots got ever more serious, Casino Royale was ok, and QoS was shit, Skyfall was good (M gets killed, so sad) Spectre was better because it reintroduced the original Bond enemy again, Blofeld and SMERSH. (smiert Spionam), Javier Bardem was a shit bad guy though.

I find the real let down comes from several angles (these are just a few exmaples) - bad villains -Drax ("Place Mr Bond where he can be assured of warmth" ie right underneath the Shuttle Orbiter engines ho ho), Jaws was just utterly pointless, Wint and Kidd (Shit) the list goes on. Then there's the support characters -Gen Brad Whittaker the nutcase army dude who had a whole load of battle recreations, and a whole load of weaponry in drawers just underneath.  The American geezer in Goldeneye who gives him the BMW Z3 (same actor different character). the JW Pepper comedy routine was totally ridiculous and unnecessary. The weird assassin guy in Tomorrow Never Dies ("I could shoot you from Stuttgart and still make it look like an accident"). The Russian geezer played by Robbie Coltrane ("Surely you realise the skill was not hitting you in the knee but missing the rest of you")

 Then there's the ridiculous transport aspects - Max Zorin's airship, the Moonraker shuttles and space station amongst others. Ridiculous car chases my bugbear one being the shot of the AM in QoS flipping over on the road - Said road is a private piece of track used for testing vehicle handling based somewhere in the UK. I am fairly sure many people recognised it for what it was and shouted Mouldy Swizz, i know i did. They could have at least done it on a closed bit of road instead of on a well recognised stretch of test track.

Have to say i thought some of the technology just went too flipping far. The best bits of tech i thought bond had - laser watch, invisible Aston Martin with ice spike tyres, and the BMW 540 with roof missiles and remote control. At least in the Craig-era films they've kept most of the tech in Q's department, Bond just gets his wits and his PPK or whatever he's using.

I could go on and on..but i haven't got my 007 encyclopedia to hand.

I agree with your sentiment that one should read the books if you havent already. They offer a much different version of Bond, there's no technology other than the supercharger button on his Bentley, let your imagination see Bond a different way, well worth reading. I used to have most of them, but they were old ragtag copies from charity shops and they all fell apart.

[HitEmAll 1,070]

I really liked Goldeneye because of the super hot "level two programmer" girl Natalya, because of the awesome N64 game that we played all the time back then, and because in that movie the Russians are so symbolically "not the bad guys anymore".

.

I also enjoyed watching "Tomorrow Never Dies", because I generally like the concept that some third party (terrorist, media company, whatever) tries to trigger a World War III, and I found this was interesting to observe in the movie.

I found none of the newer ones in any way convincing and most of them pretty boring  (haven't seen all of them).. Generally I agree that Bond movies are mainly for 12-14 year old boys (then you also buy the whole "shaked not stirred" attitude and find it cool somehow, for whatever reason lol..). I did not read any of the novels, but I guess they would entertain me more than the movies.

[speedy3471 10,655]

10 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

 

Personally I prefer Daniel Craig, certainly to Roger Moore or Sean Connery.  Bond is supposed to be a Royal Navy Commander and certainly the latter two are typical age for that rank, but in real life can you imaging them being able to put up that much of a fight.  Certainly Craig looks tough enough and shows the tough guy on edge of breakdown side too.  I'm not a great fan of the stupid gadget side of things either....

I agree, Daniel Graigs version is much more grittier and dark. Just the way Bonds character should be

[F.W 5,734]

Of course NOW Bond is going to be retired and replaced with a black woman.Of course he is,its the 2020s...Whether or not this new "Bond" will be LGBT and in a wheelchair is yet to be confirmed.It

Im guessing "she" will?I hope they go flop.

Really its time this once excellent series was put out of its misery.It began going down a dark path in the 90s when "M" became Judi Dench...Then selecting the Hobbit to play Bond,in the squat muscle bound Daniel Craig.Then of course,Miss Moneypenny was black,and quite the action hero herself,handling weapons and driving like a maniac.Not bad for a basic secretary.

As long as i have my few favourites in my DVD collection,im happy.

As Goldfinger said so eloquently,"No Mr Bond i expect you to die!"

Edited September 10, 2019 by F.W

[F.W 5,734]

On 8/30/2019 at 11:39 PM, HitEmAll said:

I really liked Goldeneye because of the super hot "level two programmer" girl Natalya, because of the awesome N64 game that we played all the time back then, and because in that movie the Russians are so symbolically "not the bad guys anymore".

.

I also enjoyed watching "Tomorrow Never Dies", because I generally like the concept that some third party (terrorist, media company, whatever) tries to trigger a World War III, and I found this was interesting to observe in the movie.

I found none of the newer ones in any way convincing and most of them pretty boring  (haven't seen all of them).. Generally I agree that Bond movies are mainly for 12-14 year old boys (then you also buy the whole "shaked not stirred" attitude and find it cool somehow, for whatever reason lol..). I did not read any of the novels, but I guess they would entertain me more than the movies.

I think Goldeneyes girls were pretty hot.Recently they have been average.

[alicexxx 603]

All Bond girls pissing! That's the way to increase the thrill... 😜

[alicexxx 603]

3 hours ago, F.W said:

I think Goldeneyes girls were pretty hot.Recently they have been average.

From Goldeneye on I think they started shaving their pussy... 😜

[speedy3471 10,655]

10 hours ago, alicexxx said:

All Bond girls pissing! That's the way to increase the thrill... 😜

You got that right hahaha

[F.W 5,734]

My own thought was that scene in Casino Royale playing cards just sent me to sleep.If you didnt understand the game,then who will understand what you do to win?

[Kataal 40]

Not a fan of Bond films. Not a fan of Bond finding ways to get into women's pants with his charm. I do like the spy missions he has gone on. For example, Timothy Dalton's second Bond film he took down a drug Lord and avenged his friend's death. 

[likesToLick 10,216]

To enjoy the films I think it is necessary to accept them as a bit of entertaining nonsense. Viewed from that angle they can be a lot of fun,  just like Chinese martial arts movies that can also be way over the top and impossible to believe.

My favorite Bond was Roger Moore, because of the subtle way he played the role.   A man who is truly competent and skilled has no need to act like a loud-mouthed braggart.  The polite and unobtrusive gentleman can be much more lethal.

[likesToLick 10,216]

On 9/10/2019 at 5:59 PM, alicexxx said:

All Bond girls pissing! That's the way to increase the thrill... 😜

That would be great for a remake of Goldfinger ...  "Pissy Pussy Galore."  😋

[likesToLick 10,216]

On 9/10/2019 at 2:35 PM, F.W said:

Whether or not this new "Bond" will be LGBT and in a wheelchair is yet to be confirmed.

Oh yes,  please make her a lesbian so we can have some nice girl-girl scenes 😁

We need to push Political Correctness a bit further, so that every movie has to have a positive character who likes peeing fun.  (There's still room to add a "P" to the "LGBTQ" alphabet.)

[Kataal 40]

Great! Now we can't enjoy films without political correctness. I am done watching films. Peace out, not!

[gldenwetgoose 21,500]

On 8/22/2020 at 3:49 AM, Kataal said:

Not a fan of Bond films. Not a fan of Bond finding ways to get into women's pants with his charm. I do like the spy missions he has gone on. For example, Timothy Dalton's second Bond film he took down a drug Lord and avenged his friend's death. 

 

On 8/23/2020 at 1:20 AM, likesToLick said:

To enjoy the films I think it is necessary to accept them as a bit of entertaining nonsense. Viewed from that angle they can be a lot of fun,  just like Chinese martial arts movies that can also be way over the top and impossible to believe.

My favorite Bond was Roger Moore, because of the subtle way he played the role.   A man who is truly competent and skilled has no need to act like a loud-mouthed braggart.  The polite and unobtrusive gentleman can be much more lethal.

I think I'm one of the few people who much prefer the Daniel Craig era of Bond, for various reasons.

Personally I found the Roger Moore and Sean Connery movies just to be embarrassing, those guys seemed like old men and yes Ian Fleming wrote Bond as a commander in the Royal Navy which doesn't happen overnight, but they seemed like old men running about wheezing and having slow motion fist fights.  The womanising was cringeworthy I will agree but I guess has to be viewed as a reflection of how society still thought in the 1970's.  The other thing were those ridiculous gadgets that were so contrived into the scripts and the wobbly props that looked like they wouldn't survive a second take (eg. Moonraker).

Personally I see the cold ruthlessness in Daniel Craig's eyes that suggests he could have risen through the chain of command quickly enough. A realism and grittiness in there now, and it seems to me that a lot of the hopping into bed now is done by empowered women who actually are the seductresses themselves.

Incredible to think the franchise is nearing its 60th anniversary - So the movies reflect quite an interesting commentary on not just sexism but on how our sociology has changed through the decades.

[oliver2 4,422]

On 8/25/2020 at 10:24 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

The other thing were those ridiculous gadgets that were so contrived into the scripts and the wobbly props that looked like they wouldn't survive a second take (eg. Moonraker).

Moonraker is a bit of an oddity, cashing in on the success of Star Wars and hype around NASA's Space Shuttle programme (and, perhaps, foreshadowing the *other* Star Wars, the Strategic Defense Initiative).

The other curious thing is - apart from Bond's improbable sexual magnetism, and presumed STI-immunity - that what was improbable about Bond films was high-tech gadgetry and industrialists with enough of a fortune to run a private space programme. Well, now we have drones, smartphones, and Elon Musk. 

On 8/25/2020 at 10:24 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

Personally I see the cold ruthlessness in Daniel Craig's eyes that suggests he could have risen through the chain of command quickly enough. A realism and grittiness in there now, and it seems to me that a lot of the hopping into bed now is done by empowered women who actually are the seductresses themselves.

... but how much cold ruthlessness do you want in your escapist fantasy? Doubt "realism"; yeah, the production values for stunts and fights have improved greatly, but... saving yourself from poisoning by attaching yourself to a defibrillator? Terrorist bankers (what?) who bleed from their eyeballs?