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A friend told me about a house party where there was a long queue outside the only bathroom. Although the kitchen was crowded, a girl in a short skirt hopped up to sit on the edge of the sink, lacy knickers at her knees, skirt hitched up around her waist, and loudly pissed in the sink. My friend reached behind her to turn on the tap to help wash her pee away.

Training would be required. Weeks of it; with women paid to do nothing but sit on the beach, all day, drinking huge quantities, so you and I could practice catching them when they have to pee.

To me, that expression's saying that she's been holding for ages, and knows she's got only 1/2 second left before she loses it and involuntarily starts pissing as you watch.

Of the eight girls in this post, I reckon the one on the right in this shot is the one who's desperate to pee. I'm sure she's about to squat down and piss into the shallow water.

Imagine they're on the floor, and you're now watching from above.

Certainly about to pee in the water!

Imagine you've just caught her peeing. She's just stopped, but she can't hold it and in a moment she won't be able to stop herself from starting to go in her bikini again.

She does look like she's about to start making a puddle on the floor. Perhaps she's been on hold for ages and has got desperate to pee?

Overseas, on holiday, I wanted to visit a site where there were many ancient ruins in a large area. Nobody else was interested, so I went on my own. I was free to spend as much time as I liked, so I wandered all over the place. After quite a while, I found I really needed to relieve myself. It was all out of doors, very open, and there were quite a few visitors. And no toilets, unless I walked back into the town. It seemed disrespectful to literally piss on the archaeology. I wondered if I could find a secluded place. The problem was this. Most of the paths were quite open, with

I like to imagine that she started weeing the moment after the photograph was taken. Just there, in exactly that posture,

I can make some generalisations about UK festivals: Size matters. The larger the festival, the better the chances of sightings. At peak times the queues for the portaloos will get too long, and some women will have to find somewhere else to pee. It's also likely to be further to walk to other loo blocks. The sort of crowd matters. Younger audiences drink more and are less inhibited. The age demographic of the festival varies according to the reputation of the festival and the line-up on the billing that year and that day. The site matters. Some make it difficult for w

In my early teens we used to spend a lot of time, on family holidays, on beaches with no toilets. Even before then I was fascinated with the sight of girls peeing. I vividly remember the first time I saw a girl of about my own age going to the toilet in the sea. I was watching her, with mild interest, at the end of the day. She was about to pack up and leave the beach but first she jogged down the beach and into the shallows. There, in water that was not much more than ankle deep, she dropped to squat with her shorts just touching the water. She parted her legs to stare at her own crotc

I would, of course, love to see her start peeing in that knitted romper suit, whilst sitting just there.

I like to think that, in the first of these, Candice might be about to pee on the set sand.

I like to imagine that immediately after that picture was shot one of those girls crouched down, just where she was standing, to squirt a strong jet of piss into the waves. Perhaps the one on far left?

I don't see many women wearing long dresses or skirts at festivals. At the last one I went to I saw many wearing loose shorts, and many of those pulled their shorts and underwear aside when they went to squat in the grass, rather than pulling them down to pee.

I've seen girls in short skirts kneel on the grass and pee in a crowded place. I think I was the only one to spot what they were doing.

It sounds like that must have ended in an accident for her. Perhaps she wet herself in the back of the taxi. Or maybe she would have realised that she couldn't hold it, and told the taxi driver he had to stop. She'd then have squatted on the pavement by the open door, peeing through her jumpsuit as she wouldn't have got it down in time. Or she would have got to her front door, and then lost control and used her thong as her toilet while she tried to open the door. In that case, she might have wet herself standing, or she might have crouched down to limit the damage.

I love that many of the FTV girls also pee on camera.

A porn magazine I read, many years ago, contained a story about a couple out in Epping Forest together. They were feeling each other, half-undressed and had to break off because she badly needed to pee. He said he wanted to watch, so she, blushing, slipped down her jeans and knickers and squatted in front of him.

They seem to have nailed it down tight. They waste so much time with pop-ups that it's not worth going there now.

Lara Croft. (I think she is about to pee in this photo.)

Lara Croft.

Lara Croft.