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Very British Problems...

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"Yeah, maybe" - Translation: Nope, you're completely wrong

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Being unable to leave a conversation without first saying "anyway..."

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Very British exaggerations:
1. "It's absolutely chucking it down!"
2. "The queue was about a mile long!"
3. "The bus took forever!"

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Being extremely annoyed you've paid £52.80 for a train ticket and it didn't even get checked.

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Regretting doing the "looks like we've had our Summer!" jokes now that it appears to be true

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Somehow managing to get through life by pointing your hand in a certain direction while saying "sorry, do you mind if I...?"

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Post-holiday work catch-up chat:
"Anything happen while I was away?"
"No, not really"
-end-

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Ending a call: "Okay, lovely, great, that's brilliant, okay then, speak soon, okay, cheers then, bye, bye... yep..."

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Brit: "I wish it wasn't so cold all the time" Brit after 3 days of sun: "This is exhausting"

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Washing your car and hearing "You can wash mine next if you like" or "You missed a bit"

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Talking to people from outside the UK and being asked "Do you know the queen?"

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In 1962 I spent 2 weeks on a work assignment in Hursley.  I didn't pick up any of the accent, but I sure did picked quite a number of idioms.

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On 29/07/2017 at 7:29 PM, Sophie said:

Talking to people from outside the UK and being asked "Do you know the queen?"

When I moved to the US from Surrey as a 13 year old I was asked if I knew a person ... he lived in Liverpool.  What?

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Never being able to say "I'm doing fine, how are you?"

Always "Surviving" or " Not dead yet" or similar.  And I'm as guilty as anyone .. lol :D

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A very British problem - Never being satisfied by the weather and having an irresistible urge to moan about it, even to absolute strangers.

"It's too hot isn't it?"..........NO IT FUCKING ISN'T! Try living in Riyadh or Mumbai!

"It's too cold.".........NO IT FUCKING ISN'T! Anyone from Alaska or Siberia would laugh at us!

"It's too wet"........NO IT FUCKING ISN'T! Ever heard of the rain forest? It's called the RAIN forest for a reason!

"It's too windy"......NO IT FUCKING ISN'T! Having your car picked up and thrown 100 yards by the same fucking tornado that has turned your house into rubble within seconds......well THAT'S windy. In comparison, getting your hat blown off or your umbrella blown inside out just doesn't cut it.

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The slightest physical contact in the street and we instantly apologise, regardless of whose fault it was.

If we are not spending all our time moaning about the weather, we are spending it apologising to each other.

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The way we still go on about the war.

Just for personal amusement, the other day in work I greeted one older customer with "Guten Morgen, Mein Herr!"

The response went something like this......."Don't give me any of that bloody nonsense! I remember that bloody shower in the war......." Cue five minute rant about how he never buys German cars, etc. 

If a German had actually heard all this, he'd have been most bemused, probably.

And every time England plays Germany in a game of football.....the tabloids seem to react as if it is a re-run of World War 2, hahaha.

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What annoys me about this country is the stupid governments who won't face up to the reality that we are finished!

We give loads of money in aid to foreign countries, quite a few of whom don't need it, take India for example, they have a space programme, yet we still give them aid, if they can afford a space programme they don't need our money. Also how can we give millions to other countries when we have our own people homeless and relying on food banks?

But what really boils my piss is the way we get involved in stupid wars, that have sod all to do with us! Going back many years, when we were one of the worlds leading players, any trouble anywhere and it was a case of "tally ho chaps, here come the brits, we'll sort it all out". Usually we left the place in a worse state when we left, but hey ho, back in the days when we ruled half of the world, that was how it went.

Now our government still has that mentality, even though we can't afford it, and we have less military capability than we ever did, they still insist on dragging us into almost every conflict wherever it happens, I wish they'd wake up, grow up, and realise we are not who we once were.

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On 30/07/2017 at 1:29 AM, Sophie said:

Talking to people from outside the UK and being asked "Do you know the queen?"

Many years ago there was an old guy lived over the road from me, he'd worked in the local glass factory all his life, as a labourer actually, however one day he was talking to a bricklayer, "I was a brickie, before I retired" he told the chap, a few weeks later and he was talking to a joiner, "I was a joiner before I retired", was part of his reply.Every time somebody mentioned a trade, he'd always been it, the only thing he'd never been was an electrician (my trade), the guy was a nightmare!

One Sunday morning around 5.30 am, there was a loud banging on my front door, I'd been on late shift the night before and had only had about 4 hours sleep. I threw on some jeans and a T shirt and rushed to answer the door, it was mid summer and quite light outside, stood on my doorstep was Frank,the old guy. "what's up, are you ok?" I asked, thinking he must be ill or something.

"yes fine, it's just I've been cleaning the front door and noticed my doorbell doesn't work, can you come and fix it?"

I wanted to strangle him, waking me up for a bloody doorbell! Everybody in the area new him, and what a pain in the arse he was!

Fast forward about 5 years and I'm living 300 miles away, I'm having a drink in a pub and get talking to this bloke, he'd worked for the same company as Frank (in it's heyday it employed thousands of people) When I mentioned I knew the company he asked, "did you ever meet Frank, reckoned he'd done everything, he worked there, what a pain in the arse he was".

Imagine that, you go to the other side of the country, meet a bloke who used to  work in a factory in your home town, and out of the thousands of people he worked with, the one he remembers was Frank!, how mad is that?

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A  bit of snow causing total chaos. 

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The look on the BBC weather forecaster’s face when it snows.

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Peeing on the carpet in the pub, and all your friends are too polite to notice...
 

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On 9/4/2017 at 10:29 AM, owlman76 said:

What annoys me about this country is the stupid governments who won't face up to the reality that we are finished!

We give loads of money in aid to foreign countries, quite a few of whom don't need it, take India for example, they have a space programme, yet we still give them aid, if they can afford a space programme they don't need our money. Also how can we give millions to other countries when we have our own people homeless and relying on food banks?

But what really boils my piss is the way we get involved in stupid wars, that have sod all to do with us! Going back many years, when we were one of the worlds leading players, any trouble anywhere and it was a case of "tally ho chaps, here come the brits, we'll sort it all out". Usually we left the place in a worse state when we left, but hey ho, back in the days when we ruled half of the world, that was how it went.

Now our government still has that mentality, even though we can't afford it, and we have less military capability than we ever did, they still insist on dragging us into almost every conflict wherever it happens, I wish they'd wake up, grow up, and realise we are not who we once were.

I hate the way in which certain TV shows become like the kind of "bread and circuses" of the masses,like all the soaps,strictly come dancing,in which characters from the show,somehow get into some of the papers.Even on BBC news programmes.Soaps now seem to be the litmus paper of culture.They now promote "social issues" instead of being everyday tales of life,each episode now seems to promote gay rights,refugee problems.Things that most people in working life dont really think about.

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