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About wetmanjf

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  • Birthday 07/19/1959

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  1. Hosing down 3 girls outside.
  2. Big Gulp LOL
  3. Pre soaking my clothes before washing them
  4. The wife and I decided to have a clear-out and have put all our dogging gear on eBay. We haven't had any bids yet but there's thirty four people watching.
  5. "You need a job" said my wife "I got a job as a puppeteer !" I exclaimed "How did you do that?" asked my wife "I had to pull a few strings" I replied........
  6. I just read "100 things to do before you die" and was quite surprised to see that 'shout for help' wasn't in there.
  7. Just seen 2 blind men fighting in the street. You should have seen them run when I said my moneys on the one with the knife...
  8. History's top 10 times for appropriate use of the F-word 10th - "Scattered fucking showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC 9th - "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagoras, 126 BC 8th - "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566 7th - "Where did all those fucking Indians come from?" - Custer, 1877 6th - "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso, 1926 5th - "Where the fuck are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937 4th - "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938 3rd - "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945 2nd - "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in the head!" - JFK, 1963 1st - "Aw c'mon. Who the fuck is going to find out?" - Tiger Woods, 2009
  9. I rang my wife last night. 'Hello luv, I've spent all my money'. 'Silly boy' she replied, 'what did you spend it on?' 'Well, you know that jewellery shop with the diamond necklace you really liked?' 'Yes!' she replied, getting all excited. 'In the pub next to that.'
  10. I read a book last night called Great Expectations. It's not as good as I thought it would be.
  11. My wife said, "You've never hold the door open for me." I said, "What about the time you threatened to leave."
  12. They say one in every seven friends have a gambling addiction. My money's on Dave
  13. There you go. Push away LOL
  14. The wife was having a go at me. "Life's just one big joke to you, isn't it." "I don't know what you mean. Sit down, luv, and let's talk about it." That's when I pulled her chair away.