You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars...

[Sophie 24,410]

You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What's your plan?

[F.W 5,734]

Stand on the Snail?

[Sophie 24,410]

6 minutes ago, fannywatcher said:

Stand on the Snail?

A) It's immortal

B) It's just touched you, you're dead.

[F.W 5,734]

Doh!Of course......Ok,first i buy a load of salt and spread it around me.I suppose even as its immortal it still feels vulnerable to salt on its stomach foot..Is this like the "you have a fox,a chicken and a bag of grain to take across the river"thing?I never understood why a farmer would be keeping a fox..

[Sophie 24,410]

Just now, fannywatcher said:

Doh!Of course......Ok,first i buy a load of salt and spread it around me.I suppose even as its immortal it still feels vulnerable to salt on its stomach foot..Is this like the "you have a fox,a chicken and a bag of grain to take across the river"thing?I never understood why a farmer would be keeping a fox..

It's just a hypothetical question. I suppose really there is no win condition, the snail can't die and you'll always have to be aware of it coming towards you.

[F.W 5,734]

Ok i will work on this.

[spywareonya 37,961]

 

10 hours ago, Sophie said:

You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What's your plan?

 

6 hours ago, fannywatcher said:

Ok i will work on this.

Create a pit whose walls cannot be climbed by her particular Ph. Create an hologram projector that hides the hole and meanwhile project and image of you busy nearby on some useless project. Believing you to be distracted, she will come toward you, and fall in the pit, never to climb out again

[steve25805 126,023]

On ‎01‎/‎04‎/‎2018 at 1:31 AM, Sophie said:

You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What's your plan?

I'd take the million dollars and immediately relocate from the UK to Australia. I'd employ someone solely to track the snail. Being intelligent it might make it's way onto faster moving transport of some kind after all. When word reached me that it was approaching the antipodes, I'd relocate back to the UK.....and keep on doing this.

Long term problem. Being immortal, I will still be around when the money runs out. So I would need to invest some of that money in something that would provide a long term sustainable income. Or alternatively, invest in discovering whatever quality about myself made me immortal and sell it for vast sums to wealthy individuals every now and again.

Or I could just pay someone to capture it, store it in something it cannot escape from, a very long way away from wherever I happen to be living, and ensure it never gets out.....lol

[likesToLick 10,216]

Buy a really nice motor home and travel a lot?

If the snail is so intelligent why does it want to kill me anyway?

[pdeferred 16]

$1 million?  Conditional immortality?  Hyperintelligent lower lifeforms?

Obviously, the only solution is to become a super-villain and train an army of sentient hedgehogs to keep the snail at bay.

[UnauthorisedGuy 510]

My first concern is that a super intelligent snail might be smarter than me ...  But moving on from that, I'd offer the snail half of my million dollars to leave me alone.  Seems a small price to pay in order to live forever 

[ndr1968pz 149]

52 minutes ago, UnauthorisedGuy said:

My first concern is that a super intelligent snail might be smarter than me ...  But moving on from that, I'd offer the snail half of my million dollars to leave me alone.  Seems a small price to pay in order to live forever 

I agree, only if it were a really greedy snail, I'd give it all my money and anything I could make for the rest of my life...life is precious..  After a while though, if the snail was really evil, I suppose it could make my life not worth living and I would then give up and beg it to touch me and get it over with (which it would probably refuse to do, thus locking me into Hell forever).

However, to solve the puzzle:  Not to worry if the damn snail touches me!  It was stated first that I was immortal.  It might become a bit annoying having an immortal snail crawling all over me all day but hey, it beats the alternative!

Edited April 3, 2018 by ndr1968pz

[spywareonya 37,961]

On ‎01‎/‎04‎/‎2018 at 2:31 AM, Sophie said:

however you die if the snail touches you

@ndr1968pz

[ndr1968pz 149]

Nope, pre existing condition: immortality

[spywareonya 37,961]

8 minutes ago, ndr1968pz said:

Nope, pre existing condition: immortality

no no, it was Sophie who said that! It is a game to find a way to stop something slow but apparently unstoppable...

ihihi ndr1968pz, sincerely I love playing this game

kisses!!!

[ndr1968pz 149]

Indeed!  Sophie set the "rules".  She was, after all, the Original Poster.

27 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

kisses!!!

Back All Over you...every square inch of you!

Edited April 4, 2018 by ndr1968pz

[ndr1968pz 149]

Anyway, if both conditions exist (illogical) then I would still go with:

I agree, only if it were a really greedy snail, I'd give it all my money and anything I could make for the rest of my life...life is precious..  After a while though, if the snail was really evil, I suppose it could make my life not worth living and I would then give up and beg it to touch me and get it over with (which it would probably refuse to do, thus locking me into a living Hell forever).

[spywareonya 37,961]

3 minutes ago, ndr1968pz said:

Anyway, if both conditions exist (illogical) then I would still go with:

I agree, only if it were a really greedy snail, I'd give it all my money and anything I could make for the rest of my life...life is precious..  After a while though, if the snail was really evil, I suppose it could make my life not worth living and I would then give up and beg it to touch me and get it over with (which it would probably refuse to do, thus locking me into a living Hell forever).

never bargain with evil. it is something I learnt eight years ago when Alex and I accidentally enrage "something" after partecipating in an exorcism. the evil need its ass kicked, there is no other way, if it can be bargained with, then it's just asshole, and not really evil.

We need to take measures about that snail once and for all. Sincerely, I think that the key to this thread is creativity. We should make up a plan to lock her away forever. I like my plan some posts above this one, create a pit made of a substance she cannot climb out from, then use an holographic projector to hide the hole and pretend you are there working on something (and so appearing distracted) so she will crawl to you believing you to be weak and fall into the pit FOREVER

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[ndr1968pz 149]

Sounds much like a DC comics (early Superman) solution.  Whatever works.  I always preferred the serialization over at Marvel, personally but the fast plotting and resolution at Superman could be a welcome change now and then.

Edited April 4, 2018 by ndr1968pz

[spywareonya 37,961]

6 hours ago, ndr1968pz said:

Sounds much like a DC comics (early Superman) solution.  Whatever works.  I always preferred the serialization over at Marvel, personally but the fast plotting and resolution at Superman could be a welcome change now and then.

The capability to re-interpret timeless character is the thing I sincerely love most of the Movie world. Last Superman stuff like Man of Steel is something I really adored, also because the director utilized also occult stuff about Middle-East mythology about human-like aliens that colonized Earth at the beginning of time, a mythology I'm very fond of. And back to the movie itself, it was fantastic, the thing I love most in a movie is acting, and let's say it, the cast was god-like

[ndr1968pz 149]

I have to admit I probably missed a couple of the MOS movies.  I need to get together a list.  See where I am there.

12 hours ago, spywareonya said:

never bargain with evil. it is something I learnt eight years ago

Yeah, I know, I was just setting up an "inescapable" "certain doom" plotline.  Instead of just lottery winnings, lets say that the protagonist and the snail have unlimited wealth.  And that they have an irreconcilable hatred for each other.  Which one will finally give up?  If the fighting continues and the collateral damages  go up, we ask what is good?  What is evil?  We keep asking this until either the conflict ends or the earth becomes a mass of redly glowing asteroids.

The classic war and peace question.  Is mankind (&/or snailkind) good?  Are they evil?  Or, are they just downright STUPID?

[Scot_Lover 1,876]

Couldn't you just get someone to put the snail in a jar, something it couldn't get out of? Keep it close so you could watch it. Then you would know where the snail was at all times.

[Sexismygod 1,782]

1 hour ago, Scot_Lover said:

Couldn't you just get someone to put the snail in a jar, something it couldn't get out of? Keep it close so you could watch it. Then you would know where the snail was at all times.

That just sounds far too reasonable.  The snail doesn’t kill everyone, only you (or me) so someone else can catch it and store it.  Even a hyper-intelligent snail can’t open a screw cap.  

[spywareonya 37,961]

15 hours ago, Scot_Lover said:

Couldn't you just get someone to put the snail in a jar, something it couldn't get out of? Keep it close so you could watch it. Then you would know where the snail was at all times.

 

14 hours ago, Sexismygod said:

That just sounds far too reasonable.  The snail doesn’t kill everyone, only you (or me) so someone else can catch it and store it.  Even a hyper-intelligent snail can’t open a screw cap.  

Shit you are right

[ndr1968pz 149]

On ‎4‎/‎4‎/‎2018 at 5:08 PM, Scot_Lover said:

Couldn't you just get someone to put the snail in a jar, something it couldn't get out of? Keep it close so you could watch it. Then you would know where the snail was at all times.

Ahhh but you forget about the evil of lucre!  The snail could always bribe someone to liberate it from it's prison.