Changes in our Lives

[Scot_Lover 1,876]

G'day all.

We are no longer living in a 3some relationship. Mary, who we've loved and lived with for the last 13 years, has called it quits and has moved back to Scotland to live with her ailing sister. She is 39 and apparently wants a baby, something that Maigh and I had no interest in. This started a rather bitter fight that resulted in her parting, and leaving the country. She left her phone on the bed, blocked us from Facebook, the usual spiteful last word things. 

We are getting things sorted, both of us have been rather blown away over the entire thing. Maigh has been inconsolable, her state of mind frightened me for a while, been a difficult couple of weeks, but we'll get on with life. 

Not been here a great deal, will get back in the swing of things slowly. 

Sorry for the doom and gloom post, I'll fix my avatar and cover pic soon.

[Mark J 243]

So sorry man. Hang in there

[speedy3471 10,655]

Sorry to hear that scot_lover. Break up's are hard to deal with, especially a long one like you three had. I hope in time that the wounds heal and you three start to talk again

[steve25805 126,021]

So sorry to hear this. Hope she gets back in touch and you can all at least be friends.

[bpb 788]

I am so sorry to hear of the break-up of your family unit.
It was a item that was ever present on PeeFans.
I will miss the three of you.
However, I still expect to hear from you and Maigh.
I just hope that it settles without great stress.

[Scot_Lover 1,876]

Thank you, everyone.

I don't think this will ever be fixed, Maigh thinks it started when the were both in Scotland a couple of months ago, Mary was on the phone a lot, whispered conversations she kept from Maigh. Mary even left Maigh one night, no explanations, just went out and never returned to the hotel until the next morning. We are pretty sure her sister has put her up to this. 

Maigh is getting a little better, nights still get her down, thinks about things we used to do. There is a rather large hole in our lives, but we are working on getting over it. 

Thank you all, again.

[WantonLee 861]

Oh dear.... I'm sorry for your loss.

Keep your heads up, my best wishes for you two to get out on top of this.

 

May I ask if - on Mary's part - this breakup could have been the result of an underlying internal conflict she could not resolve?

The fact that it apparently was a rather messy breakup gave me that idea, since you usually do not (or should not) withhold bitter words for... "later use" (which is always an indication for a relationship cracking to me, since in a healthy relationship you should talk about EVERTHING that bothers you. Then again, I've never been in one...).

I am not intending to blame Mary's sister - even if she did play her part, Mary would have needed to be open for her arguments for this to work. I see it like when you, altough being in a relationship, fall in love with someone else - you can only fall in love with someone else if the place in your heart is vacant... which can only happen if the original love died first.

 

Oh, and give Maigh a hug from all of us... and you can have one, too, if you'd like... although I think the other ladies in this forum would be more suited to this task.... erm.... yeah, I'm better going to shut up now. -_-

[Scot_Lover 1,876]

On 3 November 2018 at 8:17 AM, WantonLee said:

Oh dear.... I'm sorry for your loss.

Keep your heads up, my best wishes for you two to get out on top of this.

 

May I ask if - on Mary's part - this breakup could have been the result of an underlying internal conflict she could not resolve?

The fact that it apparently was a rather messy breakup gave me that idea, since you usually do not (or should not) withhold bitter words for... "later use" (which is always an indication for a relationship cracking to me, since in a healthy relationship you should talk about EVERTHING that bothers you. Then again, I've never been in one...).

I am not intending to blame Mary's sister - even if she did play her part, Mary would have needed to be open for her arguments for this to work. I see it like when you, altough being in a relationship, fall in love with someone else - you can only fall in love with someone else if the place in your heart is vacant... which can only happen if the original love died first.

 

Oh, and give Maigh a hug from all of us... and you can have one, too, if you'd like... although I think the other ladies in this forum would be more suited to this task.... erm.... yeah, I'm better going to shut up now. -_-

We think something had been brewing for a while, there was a feeling that she was no longer happy with her place in life. She never said anything about it, just kept it to herself, saying she was fine. We are so sad that we didn't do anything about it, Maigh has been racked with 'what ifs' and going over and over things we might have done. As for having a child, don't know where that came from, she has never shown an interest in one, could barely tolerate screaming kids in a supermarket. 

She wanted something more, and we didn't know what to give probably sums it up the best, I just don't know.

[steve25805 126,021]

On ‎11‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 7:58 PM, Scot_Lover said:

Thank you, everyone.

I don't think this will ever be fixed, Maigh thinks it started when the were both in Scotland a couple of months ago, Mary was on the phone a lot, whispered conversations she kept from Maigh. Mary even left Maigh one night, no explanations, just went out and never returned to the hotel until the next morning. We are pretty sure her sister has put her up to this. 

Maigh is getting a little better, nights still get her down, thinks about things we used to do. There is a rather large hole in our lives, but we are working on getting over it. 

Thank you all, again.

If she had not been happy for a while but for whatever reason did not feel she wanted to speak to you about it, it is natural that when home in Scotland she would seek out someone else to confide in. Apparently her sister. 

It is a shame that the three of you had not been able to talk about it before her issues with the relationship came to a head.

Is her sister someone likely to have disapproved of your three way relationship? If so, that really would explain a lot. Anyway, that question was largely rhetorical, me thinking out loud.

I guess it is what it is. Hope you are on the road to recovery now, and hope at some point in the future you do hear from her again, even if just a friendly phone call.

[ndr1968pz 149]

Just now saw this.  I'm so sorry to hear about your break up.  My condolences to the both of you.  Break ups can be like someone dying...sometimes even worse if there's lingering animosity and anger.  I only went through it once but the scars remain.

Just know that this too will pass.  It will get better in ways you probably do not even now realize.

Love you both!

Larry

[Scot_Lover 1,876]

13 hours ago, steve25805 said:

If she had not been happy for a while but for whatever reason did not feel she wanted to speak to you about it, it is natural that when home in Scotland she would seek out someone else to confide in. Apparently her sister. 

It is a shame that the three of you had not been able to talk about it before her issues with the relationship came to a head.

Is her sister someone likely to have disapproved of your three way relationship? If so, that really would explain a lot. Anyway, that question was largely rhetorical, me thinking out loud.

I guess it is what it is. Hope you are on the road to recovery now, and hope at some point in the future you do hear from her again, even if just a friendly phone call.

Yeah, she hated it, went against all her family values ........

Alison was the hardest looking female I've ever met, she is married to a nondescript little man who is so beaten down by her, that he can do nothing but shuffle through the remainder of his life. I gave up going on the yearly visits to Scotland because of her, she hates me, hates Maigh and was forever berating Mary for leaving Scotland. Maigh and I were talking about it, there must have been something brewing for a while, mostly on Facebook which we all kept private from each other. Now we know why Mary instigated the last trip to the UK. 

 

[Scot_Lover 1,876]

10 hours ago, ndr1968pz said:

Just now saw this.  I'm so sorry to hear about your break up.  My condolences to the both of you.  Break ups can be like someone dying...sometimes even worse if there's lingering animosity and anger.  I only went through it once but the scars remain.

Just know that this too will pass.  It will get better in ways you probably do not even now realize.

Love you both!

Larry

Thank you.

Thing have gotten better already, lol.

[Adyguy6970 877]

Thanks for sharing Scott.  I've only just seen it and am very sorry to hear about your situation.  I hope everything works out for you.  

[spywareonya 37,961]

@Scot_Lover

 

I first wanna apologize for being absent during this

 

Now, back to important stuff

 

How are you? And much more urgent, how's Maigh? She has Always been so sensitive… I really hope she is ok

No words can describe how I feel for your loss, but sometimes, things are pre-destined not by Fate or Destiny, but by their inner structure

If she really wanted a husband for her alone and children, it was impossible for her to remain with you

What left me speechless was the fact she blocked you away from her new life, this indeed sounds like manipulations from her sister

I am so sad all of this happened

I love you with all my heart

 

[likesToLick 10,216]

I only saw this today for the first time.  I'm very sad to hear that Mary has left your relationship.

I hope things continue to get better.  

[spywareonya 37,961]

7 hours ago, likesToLick said:

I only saw this today for the first time.  I'm very sad to hear that Mary has left your relationship.

I hope things continue to get better.  

They're strong. They'll make it.