Feedback / Idea Anonymous Poll - Peefans Private Messaging

[gldenwetgoose 21,486]

Just to state the obvious on the last two points - all site rules still apply to the content of PMs - so sending of unsolicited pictures likely to cause offence, asking for or sharing off site communication details and so on are all against our rules.

In the case of a discussion on children - if that is in any way sexual, or if you feel the question is being asked from a sexual perspective - then that must be reported.

[Bacardi 10,131]

I'd really like to see a posted extension to Rule 8 about low quality posts also apply to messages. It gets exhausting receiving and subsequently deleting the same message every few days. Always "will you pee on me?" Or "Do you want to pee here?" And nothing else. Already pitched it to the admin team but I feel like it would become a gray area of "how many sentences make a message not low quality" and "what subjects are acceptable" lol. I have no answers but maybe some of our other members will have suggestions.

[Kupar 13,339]

8 minutes ago, Bacardi said:

I'd really like to see a posted extension to Rule 8 about low quality posts also apply to messages. It gets exhausting receiving and subsequently deleting the same message every few days. Always "will you pee on me?" Or "Do you want to pee here?" And nothing else. Already pitched it to the admin team but I feel like it would become a gray area of "how many sentences make a message not low quality" and "what subjects are acceptable" lol. I have no answers but maybe some of our other members will have suggestions.

It's tough - I am sure the female members here have more messages in general to their inboxes. And one issue is that messages aren't visible to the staff. But I think I can guess what the mods would say: "Please report them if they're getting a problem." In any case, and perhaps particularly if you've said in your profile that you don't want unsolicited messages asking for pee favours or making other requests.

Maybe the site platform will develop some advanced forms of filtering of messages (like an email spam filter uses) - it might be worth the mods asking Admin if such a feature is possible.

[Bladderlad 823]

All messages I think have been from males, of all sexual orientations. All very welcome and not at all problematic. Really concerning the experience females on the site are having tho 🙁🙁

Edited April 19, 2023 by Bladderlad

[Bacardi 10,131]

30 minutes ago, Kupar said:

But I think I can guess what the mods would say: "Please report them if they're getting a problem.

Part of the reason why i suggested this is while I was venting to a mod they suggested I report it, but I didn't think it was fair because as of right now there is nothing in the rules about such low quality messages. I just feel like an addition to rule 8 to include messages along with forum posts would make myself and maybe others more comfortable to report as well as deterring the behavior. 

[Kupar 13,339]

10 minutes ago, Bacardi said:

Part of the reason why i suggested this is while I was venting to a mod they suggested I report it, but I didn't think it was fair because as of right now there is nothing in the rules about such low quality messages. I just feel like an addition to rule 8 to include messages along with forum posts would make myself and maybe others more comfortable to report as well as deterring the behavior. 

Understood @Bacardi x.  And a good idea 🙂

[gldenwetgoose 21,486]

Seek and ye shall find, ask and ye shall receive...

It is as issue which has been on Peefans Staff's minds for a little while now - and as of this morning there is a new clarification in the Peefans Site Rules #8 & #17.

We hopefully all understand that the rules have always asked for respect, freedom from harassment or attempts at hook-ups and making Peefans feel like a safe place.  And the vast majority of people know how to do that, meaning that Peefans is such an awesome community.   But for the few who don't understand what respect is about, or don't understand that we are that community of friends, we now have that clarification in place.

It's not a new rule - but it is an example of the sort of behaviour which is outside the Peefans ethos.

There is still the need for anyone receiving unsolicited sexual messages to make Staff aware of it - and as a first instance we will seek to gently encourage a change in behaviours.   But hopefully it's a step in the right direction.

[colette888 6,967]

I particularly agree with the phrase: «common sense is the key», I happen to believe that kind of approach should applied to any aspect of our lives on this disgraced planet, and, of course, on this forum too! thanks for making us more aware, lest we forget... 

[MidoriLemonade85 2,366]

Thank you for organising this, @gldenwetgoose … sorry I did not notice it til now. I have really only ever had positive experiences here, myself. In the very beginning, a few people were trying to persuade me to go chat on Kix or Discord or whatever other new-fangled apps. I always felt safer just keeping chat here in PeeFans. Of course I now have some very dear PF friends who I chat to outside of this site as well,  but we built up trust over time. Honestly, everyone who has chatted to me has been simply lovely. Maybe I am just lucky. But you are doing a wonderful job with this amazing forum. Love being here in this caring community.💚

[Guest Wetling]

I think it's ok to receive messages I didn't expect, otherwise I would just disable the messenger. As long as they aren't disrespectful I even enjoy when others are interested in me. There have been messages which I've chosen to ignore but they were not offensive in any way described in Q2, so that's a "no", and if I found a question inappropriate I would reply that I don't want to answer it. At least we are all here to open up about something that most of us can't be so open about in the real world, and at least here, no one should be afraid of sending a message to someone they are interested in. 🙂

Edited April 20, 2023 by Wetling

[Bacardi 10,131]

19 minutes ago, MidoriLemonade85 said:

Of course I now have some very dear PF friends who I chat to outside of this site as well,  but we built up trust over time.

I have several of these too and was literally just sitting here thinking not a single one of them started a conversation with "I'll let you pee in my mouth if you want" 🤣 

Those that initiated the conversation always introduced themselves first and we slowly got into talk about the fetish as I became comfortable with them. I actually had time to become attracted to them and their personality, which is something I appreciate so much. This is also something I try to keep in mind when I message people too. 

[MidoriLemonade85 2,366]

5 minutes ago, Bacardi said:

I have several of these too and was literally just sitting here thinking not a single one of them started a conversation with "I'll let you pee in my mouth if you want" 🤣 

Those that initiated the conversation always introduced themselves first and we slowly got into talk about the fetish as I became comfortable with them. I actually had time to become attracted to them and their personality, which is something I appreciate so much. This is also something I try to keep in mind when I message people too. 

Yes, I am amazed at how open and friendly people are when you give them time to be themselves. What I hate is the two word sentence reply! I kick ‘em to the kerb for wasting my time!

[Guest Wetling]

10 minutes ago, Bacardi said:

I have several of these too and was literally just sitting here thinking not a single one of them started a conversation with "I'll let you pee in my mouth if you want" 🤣 

Some people are weird. But for these sort of messages, I think the delete button is enough. As long as they leave you alone afterwards, I see no reason to report them. I can also say that putting a text in my profile that these type of messages will just be deleted actually did make a difference.

Edited April 20, 2023 by Wetling

[likesToLick 10,216]

I have occasionally been contacted by female forum members who wanted to talk about sexual things, usually in response to something I have posted in the forum,  where I am generally quite open about the things I like.

I just want to reassure them that I was never distressed or offended by that,  and was happy to talk to them.  

I don't generally open a conversation that way myself,  because I don't want to seem like a "creepy internet guy",  and I understand that women do receive a lot of unwelcome messages.

[Guest Wetling]

21 minutes ago, likesToLick said:

I don't generally open a conversation that way myself,  because I don't want to seem like a "creepy internet guy"

You are amongst likeminded people here. 🙂 If you do it as you described they did it, you won't come across as creepy. Creepy is when you write something like "Hey, can we chat on x because I want to know where you live and put my dick your mouth". 😉

Edited April 20, 2023 by Wetling

[gldenwetgoose 21,486]

Thanks all - this is of course a ‘team’ thing, so kudos to the staff team and to you the members. 

Let’s be clear - we are an adult NSFW site, and sexual content is a large part of what we’re about. But respect is also a large part. As long as the two go hand in hand all will be fine.

There are no issues about sending PMs. To use an example above, sending a PM to someone “I really enjoyed something you posted, would you mind if I asked you more about it?” is respectful and no issues.

It’s more the posts which fail to show any respect - the “will you drink my piss?”  “Will you send me pics of you naked?” Or similar. 

Yes, they can be easily ignored - but if they’re sending such things to you, they may be targeting other users with a risk they get scared away and leave.  That and wasting site resources. 
 

So for almost all site members it’s nothing new and nothing to worry about or change behaviours.  Just a reminder that Peefans is a safe place to be. 

[Barbieoxo 5,981]

I've received messages in the past which have been very forward and sometimes a bit creepy. If it's a one off I just delete and ignore but some have been too far or keep pushing so I've reported and rhe admins and mods have always done a brilliant job at dealing :) 

[gldenwetgoose 21,486]

1 hour ago, MonsterKane46 said:

I am actually more concerned about some of the comments I see on some of the questions and stories along the lines of "if I was there I would drink every drop". Like come on guys, they're sharing a story. Please don't creep them out. 

Agreed - and to be honest, when we spot a comment on a post which is direct like that, we do usually remove it.   It's a fine line between censoring too much, but when the comment is someone saying they would like to directly do whatever with someone who is being good enough to share content with us.

[Guest Wetling]

5 hours ago, MonsterKane46 said:

I am actually more concerned about some of the comments I see on some of the questions and stories along the lines of "if I was there I would drink every drop". Like come on guys, they're sharing a story. Please don't creep them out.

That's pretty standard and not very interesting. I appreciate your thoughtfulnes, though at least for me, I can say I'm not offended or scared by it.

I have also received some messages from guys who seem to be so afraid that I wouldn't approve of them, that they always hurry to aggree with me on everything I say. That's dishonest and also not very interesting, and makes me a little sad. Guys, be respectful, but don't be afraid of the girls. 🙂

Edited April 20, 2023 by Wetling

[colette888 6,967]

Exactly, in my world to «agree to disagree» is the perfect formula...