My final call

[steve25805 126,021]

@spywareonya, you are missed so much by us all, not least me.

Please return. 

Something has happened after my latest attempt to speak to the Mistress of Cancer that I badly need your guidance on. I am lost without you. I cannot progress further or attempt to communicate with her again without your insight. Have sent you a PM but you have not been showing up to read those either.

You having my email address is worthless if you don't use it and if I cannot contact you.

On a more general level, you are a central part of this forum. It is missing something very special without you.

Perhaps you should set up your own forum where you are in charge which can be all you want it to be for invited members only? Whilst still being active here of course because this is a great site both for meeting new people and for letting your hair down and having fun.

Please reconsider. If this site is heaven it is missing an angel right now.

[Peefreak99 3,722]

I know i already have posted but i feel kinda bad that i did not notice this earlier i said goodbye too late so i guess she never saw it if anyone has her email plz say hi from me and that i miss her here 

Edited May 9, 2019 by Peefreak99

[speedy3471 10,655]

Nancy is missed by everyone here. I do hope she returns 'home' soon. Its strange to log in and not see her posting or responding to posts 

[Brutus 2,206]

@spywareonya

I just came across this when I went looking for you because I noticed that you've been absent. Sorry to be so late in replying. I suspect that even if you don't log back in, you are lingering to see what we are saying here. 

As admin said, and as I told you a long time ago when you were going to leave the first time, this forum will likely never be the source of energy you need. I doubt any forum will, really. Most people are here due to a pee fetish and nothing more. A handful of us have come to admire and respond to you to the level that you desire, but you have to understand and accept that most members here will never give you what you want, because unfortunately for you, none of us are on a mission like you are. You are trying to make people get behind something that they just aren't interested in. People are just here to check out some pictures, videos and maybe a few pee related discussions but that's about it and that's how it will always be here.

For those of us who do respond to you enough, even we (assuming you would rank me in that group) don't fully understand your motivations. Try as I might, and I do try hard to understand you, it's difficult to fully grasp because your mind operates so vastly different than ours, almost like you speak a different language. In fact, I remember when you first appeared and began posting, the ways you spoke were quite confusing, and this was the primary source of lack of responses initially. I would read your posts and be utterly lost in confusion. But over time, we were all able to meet in the middle and actually communicate. It was obvious you made effort to speak in a way we could understand, and we all got used to your writing style.

Your conviction and mental strength is admirable, and inspiring. But again, most people here on the forum simply aren't here for the reasons you are. Even if you started getting the attention you want, would you not suspect much of it being just out of obligation, as opposed to genuine? It wouldn't mean anything real because peoples motivations would be out of line with your goals. You're already the top non admin contributor, so overall, you've succeeded in being the most revered, and that's on a relatively low activity forum. That's a bigger feat than I suspect you give credence to.

I've been an outcast my whole life and it's isolating and depressing. I say that to impart to you that in this regard, I certainly understand your desire for more people that get you and stand by your side, as opposed to just not having any interest and being painfully indifferent toward you. My advice to you would be to accept that you must walk alone. It's the path of those that are unique. This is why I suggested to you in the recent discussion about your frustrations over lack of sluttiness, that you find a way to adjust your mind to the reality. While it is possible for one person to change the world, you need to be okay with yourself if you can't, and your perceived failure seems to cause you so much turmoil. Valuable interactions with a few can be deeply transformative, and that's what you have going for yourself here. I've cherished our talks in pm. When I have dark thoughts, sometimes I literally think of you to lift my mood. You've helped me see value in myself that I never would've otherwise. I would throw myself through a wall if I had a woman as uplifting as you waiting on the other side. I don't want you to leave, but if you do, know that you've made a bigger impact than you give yourself credit for.

Edited May 11, 2019 by Brutus

[mickymoist 3,513]

I can't believe I missed this thread until now, I was travelling when it started, will miss you @spywareonya and sad that I didn't get to say bye 😟

[steve25805 126,021]

One big lesson I think I am learning is that lifelong friendships might well be illusory on the internet. People come and people go I suppose.

Nancy has been trusted with my email address but has never given me off-site contact details for herself.

I cannot contact her and she has declined to contact me.

Somewhat selfishly I admit, I feel abandoned by a friend.

I will miss her but fear she is gone.

Which means my journey under her guidance is also probably over.

I hope she returns here someday, because there appears to be no possibility of contact off site.

Anyone else been contacted by her via email or anything?

[F.W 5,734]

Spyware we love you.If you feel you need to go,then that is fine your decision,you dont have to explain.We will miss you,but please stay where you are loved and respected.x

[spywareonya 37,961]

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 3:02 PM, Admin said:

And many also don't use the likes/reaction system at all

Then how it comes somebody get so many?

Anyway it's not hard: just be sure I get more!

Consider it a salary for what I give… it's so sad I have to ask for something that should be given simply ou of gratitude for all the FUCK I DID FOR THIS FORUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 3:02 PM, Admin said:

A cult, perhaps?

Just people that respect the amount of stuff I did for this place

It's not that hard, come on!!!

 

 

 

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 7:31 PM, speedy3471 said:

I do hope you stay and not leave

You are NOT the problem

You are among the FEW THAT GIVE ME WHAT I DESERVE

 

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 8:04 PM, steve25805 said:

Then stay here with us

This place doesn't deserve me

I treated it like a son, and I have been treated like somebody just passing along

 

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 8:04 PM, steve25805 said:

You are a central part of our little family

NO I AM NOT!!!!!!!!!!

I get likes only from friends reacting out of cheerfulness!!!!! ALL MY PAST CONTENTS ARE FORGOTTEN A WEEK AFTER I POSTED THEM

It's unfair!!!

 

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 2:20 PM, F.W said:

Spyware i will miss you so much!

 

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 11:38 PM, lovestoseepee said:

I do hope you reconsider

There are still chances I remain

If the forum get a sensibilized enough about the fact that people here takes what Others post FOR GRANTED

I give in order to receive

 

No receive what I look for, stop giving

 

 

 

 

 

 

ON AN OVERALL STANCE:

On ‎5‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 3:02 PM, Admin said:

 is just about pee

everything that is J-U-S-T about something is pure shit

This forum (which is the reason I respect you so much and also why I stayed and gave so much, pics and videos and stories) is about PEOPLE

RECENTLY something happened, it became a bit more… avaricious of gratitude

I deserve do be removed from the necessity of competition

I deserve a way to get all the… ehm… "pivot-ality" (???ahahah???) I deserve/need/want

 

 

[spywareonya 37,961]

On ‎5‎/‎11‎/‎2019 at 2:39 AM, Brutus said:

none of us are on a mission like you are

Funny, such words from one of the members I consider the most manly and unconsciously discovering they have the character to be on-a-mission themselves

On ‎5‎/‎11‎/‎2019 at 2:39 AM, Brutus said:

just out of obligation, as opposed to genuine?

Unconscious doesn't work this way

If obligation lasts enough, then it was secretely genuine

Complete lack of genuinity brings immediate rebellion, no time for lip-service

Everything this lazy humanity does is out of obligation, it's fine for me, as long as it does

 

I just need people to realize what they can be

My pics are just the salary I give you while I build my Legion

I am here to find friends, not simple admirers

Harvesting admiration is just a way to see who is manly enough to GIVE GIVE GIVE with loyalty, which is a sign of lack of pathetical envy (and which is the reason I give so many likes, as I am NOT ENVIOUS)

Whoever gives is not envious

Whoever doesn't give, or doesn't give enough, IS

 

On ‎5‎/‎11‎/‎2019 at 9:03 AM, mickymoist said:

I can't believe I missed this thread until now, I was travelling when it started, will miss you @spywareonya and sad that I didn't get to say bye 😟

You too are not part of the problem. You Always gave selflessly

 

2 hours ago, steve25805 said:

Anyone else been contacted by her via email or anything?

Maybe both busy and angry?

I am a bit offended by the fact you feared, even only for a second, I could have EVER abandoned YOU!!!

By now I DESPISE the way this place treated me, I will stay more or less ONLY about you and my other friends!!!!

[speedy3471 10,655]

The like buttons are here for a reason, let's use them more often. If we all used them more often then who knows how many different conversations and possible new people/friends we will meet.

I wish there were a few more diffrent like buttons. 

[Admin 14,788]

12 minutes ago, speedy3471 said:

I wish there were a few more diffrent like buttons. 

Any in particular that you have in mind? 🙂 

[speedy3471 10,655]

4 minutes ago, Admin said:

Any in particular that you have in mind? 🙂 

Well being Canadian and polite lol, how about a thank you button? I sometimes would like to see a smily face emoji in there to. I know it's in the text bar but sometimes it would be handier with the like buttons 

[Admin 14,788]

4 minutes ago, speedy3471 said:

Well being Canadian and polite lol, how about a thank you button? I sometimes would like to see a smily face emoji in there to. I know it's in the text bar but sometimes it would be handier with the like buttons 

Haha, we have a thank you option, it's the purple trophy one... perhaps not the best representation of 'thanks' though so I can see the confusion.

The current ones are:

Like

Love

Hot

Thanks

Agree

Funny

Wink/cheeky

 

I see what you mean about the smiley face, but my worry is it's basically the same as 'like' , no? The idea at the moment is each one has a slightly different meaning, even though they all show appreciation in some way. 

[speedy3471 10,655]

2 minutes ago, Admin said:

Haha, we have a thank you option, it's the purple trophy one... perhaps not the best representation of 'thanks' though so I can see the confusion.

The current ones are:

Like

Love

Hot

Thanks

Agree

Funny

Wink/cheeky

 

I see what you mean about the smiley face, but my worry is it's basically the same as 'like' , no? The idea at the moment is each one has a slightly different meaning, even though they all show appreciation in some way. 

Lol my bad, I meant to say your welcome. I had thank you in my head for some reason lol

I here you on the smily face

[spywareonya 37,961]

20 minutes ago, Admin said:

I see what you mean about the smiley face, but my worry is it's basically the same as 'like' , no? The idea at the moment is each one has a slightly different meaning, even though they all show appreciation in some way

 

16 minutes ago, speedy3471 said:

Lol my bad, I meant to say your welcome. I had thank you in my head for some reason lol

I here you on the smily face

The chance to carefully select a reaction is, to me, part of the reply I am gonna write, like a link to the incoming message

I really feel there cannot be reply without reaction, unless the person wrote something I really cannot endorse, or so simple that I can't decide even if replying or not

To me, reactions are like face-expressions at what I just heard, before verbally replying

Really cannot reply without feeling the need to first thank the other for what he/she posted, selecting the kind of reaction I deem more fitting

It's so spontaneous on my side!!!

[speedy3471 10,655]

2 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

 

Really cannot reply without feeling the need to first thank the other for what he/she posted, selecting the kind of reaction I deem more fitting

 

I totally agree and do this myself. I like finding the appropriate button and respond in writing. I feel it's the propper thing to do

[Admin 14,788]

36 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

 

The chance to carefully select a reaction is, to me, part of the reply I am gonna write, like a link to the incoming message

I really feel there cannot be reply without reaction, unless the person wrote something I really cannot endorse, or so simple that I can't decide even if replying or not

To me, reactions are like face-expressions at what I just heard, before verbally replying

Really cannot reply without feeling the need to first thank the other for what he/she posted, selecting the kind of reaction I deem more fitting

It's so spontaneous on my side!!!

I definitely understand that, and I like that attitude. It's certainly fine to do that.

But different people use them in different ways I guess (if they even use them at all). Personally my default position isn't to react to most posts, even though I appreciate and quite like pretty much everything I read here. It's not that I'm deliberately not liking something, I just wouldn't have time to do that, so it tends to be posts where I'm more directly involved or don't have time to reply but still want to show my appreciation, or a post that particularly grabs my attention as being great/unique. There's no set criteria of course, and just as with social media sometimes I'll react quite freely whereas other times I'll be so focused on reading/replying I might not react at all. It all depends. I also miss A LOT! 

However, I agree with the notion we should all try to show our appreciation more for all contributors and contributions, especially in terms of written posts rather than just pictures and links.

My point here was merely there's no hard and fast rule about how to use likes, so it's open to individual interpretation and preferences, which can cause some disparity/unevenness in how its used.

[spywareonya 37,961]

26 minutes ago, Admin said:

Personally my default position isn't to react to most posts, even though I appreciate and quite like pretty much everything I read here

I understand deeply, likes to you are more a political action when something REALLY stuns you, it's a fitting way to use them, indeed to be sincere I had considered it, my push was to react to everything but considered to hold back for that reason as I can absolutely understand, do you wanna know why in the end I chosed to follow my instinct and react that way?

 

Because I think patrolling is part of Good, and that nobody will ever believe Good rules this world unless we exert the power to make it go the way we want

I patrol the likes people receive, and use my freedom to press the buttons ALSO to be sure I decide who got more today, because that too is a political action, to decide who is trend leader: if somebody got X likes and I think somebody was more deserving? I could be willing ( I avoid because this yes could spoil atmosphere a bit, but I am telling this just for talking) to go back and react to everything he ever posted, in order to "come up with" a pre-set number of like and be sure he will remain trend leader

 

If we do not ensure our beloved ones are in power, somebody else would be, somebody that likely loves us less than our friends (unless he would be our friend himself)

Patrolling, control, are part of Security and Security is the foundation of Good: the Humanistic right to ensure that unless we can be our leaders, we can at least be sure, through our vote, to be led by those we prefer

 

Every like is a vote, a vote for the Forum's most visible member

Put them according to who you wanna see on top!!!

And chose such person according to your selfish computation of what this person will do if he/she wins or he/she loses!!!

Edited May 12, 2019 by spywareonya

[Guest UnabashedUser]

👜💩 Just use emoji's .

[spywareonya 37,961]

33 minutes ago, UnabashedUser said:

👜💩 Just use emoji's .

I considered it!!!

But likes are ALSO this

46 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

Every like is a vote, a vote for the Forum's most visible member

Put them according to who you wanna see on top!!!

And chose such person according to your selfish computation of what this person will do if he/she wins or he/she loses!!!

 

You are from Texas, aren't you?

You guys walk along with guns in your pockets, because you are too manly to accept to feel powerless in case shit happens

PATROLLING

Is a concept you should be familiar with

 

Likes are a way to give power to those who got more

I am stating I will use that power to enflame the characters of people that decides to trust me and my words, giving room for their emotions to be touched by me

I think this is a fitting electoral campaing: vote for me and I will keep a steady amount of personal pics, stories, and (you should upgrade to gold, you are already a legend around here, complete the circle) VIDEOS!!!

Vote for soembody else… and I will try to be elected somewhere else!!!

 

Some people are simply more useful in a position of visibility

I am not useful as simply a member

I am more useful is visibile enough to my posts be of inspiration, but why people should really care for them, unless I first show I deserve to be trusted?

I can't simply require, who the fuck I am to do that?

FIRST get likes "like a boss" and THEN expect people to love you!!! This is my philosophy: I expect nothing for free!!! So I first give: posts, likes… and then wait to receive: after getting likes "like a boss" I will be visible and finally people will suppose that maybe if I am that popular then maybe I could deserve to be loved too

And also I could be of inspiration to Others, if listened when I propose ideas, I love to enflame people!!!

Edited May 12, 2019 by spywareonya

[speedy3471 10,655]

33 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

 

I patrol the likes people receive, and use my freedom to press the buttons ALSO to be sure I decide who got more today, because that too is a political action, to decide who is trend leader: if somebody got X likes and I think somebody was more deserving? I could be willing ( I avoid because this yes could spoil atmosphere a bit, but I am telling this just for talking) to go back and react to everything he ever posted, in order to "come up with" a pre-set number of like and be sure he will remain trend leader

 

 

I like what you do here. I looks for likes and take note if someone hasn't received any and give them one. I do this in Hope's that it will encourage others to do so and take part in the conversation

 

[steve25805 126,021]

2 hours ago, spywareonya said:

I am a bit offended by the fact you feared, even only for a second, I could have EVER abandoned YOU!!!

Apologies.

But I am insecure in my friendships sometimes, having been let down so often by those who seemed very close friends.

One from the past - a member who years ago posted here under the name Angelgirl - I lent money to and took to be a very close friend but she immediately unfriended me and blocked me when I asked for it back upon discovering she'd saved $5000.

So others in the past have abused my good nature which makes me insecure.

You see, offsite I have no means of contacting you. No means of reaching out.

For as long as that is the case our friendship operates entirely on this forum. Which means when you leave this place, without contact from you our friendship is cast adrift somewhat. And something very weird happened I wanted to run by you and couldn't.

If I offended you I'm sorry. I am not perfect. I am just me.

[spywareonya 37,961]

8 minutes ago, steve25805 said:

If I offended you I'm sorry. I am not perfect. I am just me.

Nobody is perfect

But you are amazing

Your good heart kknows no boundaries

 

But I have had employement shit, relatives at home, problems with internet (offline from thursday to saturday) and I was also sad all of this is happening

I AM sorry

[speedy3471 10,655]

4 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

Nobody is perfect

But you are amazing

Your good heart kknows no boundaries

 

But I have had employement shit, relatives at home, problems with internet (offline from thursday to saturday) and I was also sad all of this is happening

I AM sorry

No need to apologize. 

On a lighter note, its terrible when internet service is disrupted. Iam having trouble getting reliable internet at home myself. I use my phone in the mean time

[spywareonya 37,961]

9 minutes ago, speedy3471 said:

No need to apologize

In a moment so dire, being so taken away from the forum was not a good thing

 

9 minutes ago, speedy3471 said:

On a lighter note, its terrible when internet service is disrupted. Iam having trouble getting reliable internet at home myself. I use my phone in the mean time

In my case it was due to a switch in the Holding that controls my line… I use some hacker stuff to ensure serenity but I still anyway rely on the standard network so when it is fucked, I am too