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Men pissing where ever they want.


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12 hours ago, niceguy1 said:

I was like you when I was younger, being very shy and private about bathroom issues and always wanting to do it behind a locked door, either at home or in a hotel room on vacation.  I didn't even like the bathroom stalls in public bathrooms at school or other places and would usually try to hold it.  I'm from the older generation, growing up in the 1970s and 1980s so I noticed that pretty much all the other boys my age where comfortable peeing in front of others in public bathrooms or outside (such as when camping).  One clear memory was when I was nine and my father, my cousin and his father went camping in the mountains.  My father never taught me how to pee outside so I was surprised when we parked at the trailhead and the three of them walked over to some trees at the edge, with not much cover, and started to pee.  I was too embarrassed to join in so I tried to hold it as long as I could.  I eventually had an accident on the trail, resulting in more embarrassment than if I'd just peed with the rest of them.  The next morning when I had to pee again my dad told me to just go beyond the edge of the campsite out of sight, which I reluctantly did.  About 30 seconds after I finished and got back to the campsite a whole troop of boy scouts marched into camp passing the exact spot where I had just peed.  I was mortified!  I came so close to being seen by all of them.  It would have been so much easier for me if I had been less uptight and not cared who saw me pee and just did it when it was necessary, as long as the situation was appropriate, which it clearly was when camping. 

Unfortunately, that was a one off occurrence and I didn't loosen up about peeing until I got to college.  My freshman year, about three months into the first semester my roommate commented in front of me and a whole group of guys from our floor in the dorm, "You know, I don't think I've ever seen [Niceguy1] use the urinal!"  Again, I was mortified!  I couldn't believe he called me out like that in front of all the guys.  In our dorm, the two urinals had no dividers and everyone rounding the corner to the showers could clearly see you as you were peeing.  But I knew well by that point in my life that it was expected that guys are comfortable peeing in front of others.  It was simply considered unmanly to try and hide just to pee.  So I knew then at that moment that I would have to make a change, and over the next few years I slowly forced myself to use urinals and get comfortable peeing around others.

So I think that's what your mother is trying to gently communicate to you.  She obviously loves you and realizes you didn't have many male role models showing you how it's done, so she's now trying to make up for that by letting you know it's not only OK to pee outside and in front of others, that it's really almost an unwritten rule that it's expected by other people in order for them to view you as a confident, well-adjusted guy.  I would pay especially close attention to where she said that even girls expect you to be comfortable peeing around others.  As you get older and go to college and go out to bars with your friends there will be occasions where everyone is together and decides to pee and you don't want to feel like the "odd man out" by holding back.  For better or worse, it will be noticed by the others and it will make them perceive you as somehow weak or awkward.  It's not fair, I definitely didn't like it as I was growing up and resisted as hard as I could, but it's the reality.  So I'm encouraged that you've started to take your mother's advice and have expanded you "peeing horizons".  It will definitely benefit you in the future and make you feel better about yourself.  That's been the way with me anyway.  You should be thankful that you have a relationship with your mother like you do.  I unfortunately was never able to have conversations with my mother like that because of my extreme shyness at the time.  There used to be an older woman who would post on here about issues like this.  Her username was Beachmom and she had three sons of her own and raised them to be comfortable peeing around others like all the guys were when she was growing up in Eastern Europe in the 1970s.  I would highly recommend that you read her old posts on this site because she has a lot of wisdom and experience and I think it would give you a lot of motivation and confidence to keep moving things forward with your own mom.

Good luck with your journey!

Yeah, I've seen her posts for years here and I think it's the same woman on other sites too. I always thought she was rather odd as far as moms go, but some of her posts led to polls and debates between moms on the subject. I read through a lot of them and while some women really objected to it, like 2 in 3 or 3 in 4 moms didn't seem to care where boys peed. It was still hard to believe what they were all saying because I've never heard women actually saying that openly. Now growing up I knew a few guys who peed outside and told me there moms didn't care, but again I wasn't sure they're moms really knew. I do see what you're saying and it's not just guys who expect you to be "one of the guys" but I'm realizing that maybe there are times when women will also ridicule a guy for being shy about it. I can recall my older cousin belittling her then boyfriend after a rafting trip she went on with friends where he insisted of walking up to a gas station to pee when the other guys peed in the river. So I guess I see that.

As for my mom, I was thinking maybe she had some sort of fetish for this, but now I think you're right. As I think about it, she's not keeping this between us, almost right after she had a conversation with me, my aunt, grandmother and a couple of her friends suddenly commented about it, surely she'd confided in them and asked their thoughts. Also, I'm thinking she has nothing to gain, like had she encouraged me as a child she might avoid taking me to a restroom or having me track into the house, but now what does it matter to her. She's also still a bit embarrassed talking about it, but still being encouraging. She hasn't suggested that I run behind the garage or find some secluded place, but rather has tried to assure me that I don't need so much privacy. I'm starting to think that maybe part of why she was attracted to my dad may have been that he was so bold and confident and not worried about what anyone thought, I kinda read into that the way she tells about it.

So yeah, now I'm rather convinced that maybe my mom is thinking she should have brought this up long ago and is trying to make up for that now before I head off to college next month and I'm seeing that many moms may well feel the same way about it. I wish I wasn't so uncomfortable with the idea, but all these women encouraging me is making me much less nervous about it.

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8 hours ago, litltimmy said:

I can recall my older cousin belittling her then boyfriend after a rafting trip she went on with friends where he insisted of walking up to a gas station to pee when the other guys peed in the river.

That is horrible. Noone should have any say in where you should or shouldn't pee, as long as it doesnt directly damage others.

Sure, I too think that guys should pee outside everywhere, but if one doesn't want to, then thats his own decision.

And I gotta say, a guy acting shy about it can make it even hotter when he does agree to peeing outside.

If she thinks it's that important, then she should have given him some incentive to do so, rather than belittling him. "If you do it outside, I'll aim it for you", "If you do it outside, you can do it all over my ass" etc.... I definitely would suggest those things if I had a boyfriend in such a situation. And if she doesn't, then it can't have been that important.

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