Question about cheating

[Andrei 78]

Recently, I have been working well away from my partner. It is difficult to get back home often and have sex with my partner.

Where I am working, there is a very sexy woman, who is several years younger than myself. We have got to chatting over the last few months, and recently started flirting with each other.

Things recently came to a head, when, both being very horny, I asked her for a BJ, in return for eating her out. She agreed, however, when it came time to do it, we did more than that. We started off with masturbation and oral, and ended up fucking.

I know technically we both cheated (she also has a partner), but we both really enjoyed it, and would to it again.

I am interested in other people's thoughts...

[jodi69 19]

Cheating is never good.

[Pete2304 36]

If you've ever been on the wrong end of a situation where two people get caught cheating you would know it hurts like hell. There is a gut wrenching feeling that is incomparable when you are still in love with someone and they cheat on you. Can't condone your behaviour I'm afraid. If you love the woman you are with you wouldn't have done it, clearly you don't so maybe best to be honest.

[randy Al 8]

Wow, of all places to find "old fashioned values"..... Jealousy is so lame. It is a sign of your own insecurity and nothing else. ( insecurity about yourself, or about your relationship ) It does NOT mean your partner doesn't love you. It does not mean your partner finds the other person more attractive. Usually what it truly means is - the other person was available when you were not. Of course if you join in - a different explanation is in the offing. Kinky things for kinky people !

[spywareonya 37,961]

I consider cheating a sign of weakness of a relationship

a relationship can be week for many reasons

because you are not striving enough to forgive your partner's flaws and therefore lose drive toward her

because she is so lame about being a girlfriend she actually deserved that

but in any ways, cheating is not a good thing, not on a moral level, but because it means something is not working

I sincerely think that people should listen to their heart and engage in relationships even if they are doomed to fail one day, being too technical about this could kill the Human Heart.

But I also know that after the iniatial crush, if the couple doesn't give you what you want, it is mandatory that you'll end up looking for something else, in somebody else

and here it comes the great question: are YOU really doing everything you can to make sure what you want from a couple will show up in THIS relationship? or are you simply somebody who wants to find what he wants without a single drop of sweat?

because that is the point

when somebody cheat on somebody else there are only TWO possibilities

the cheater do not takes relationship seriously and is doing an act of utter selfishness

the cheated really  messed things up exceedingly

in first case you are wrong in cheating, and you should ask forgiveness, but very likely you'll not find it, and simply you'll have to part ways

in the second case you should part ways for your own good

what you really have to ask you is:

why did you do that? because you consider your girlfriend something not worthy of your strain-to-remain-faithful?

or because deep in your heart you simply do not wanna renounce a life with the freedom of a single?

beware, I wouldn't judge you if the answer is the second: for example, I consider monogamy against nature, and could maybe renounce my sex escapades if my man asked me because my love for him had been forged throughout hell (don't ask, I'll not answer) and is now of difficult comprehension for what concerns its inhuman consistency, but I would still consider monogamy against nature anyway

but I talked to my man about this, we agreed on the lifestyle we wanted

if you want to fuck all women on this world I agree, but at that point cheating is not fucking your collegue, cheating is calling your girlfriend "your girlfriend", and you should stay single

 

(or find a bisex girls who loves f-f-m threesomes and is not exceedingly interested in men)

[F.W 5,734]

100% agreement.

[spywareonya 37,961]

a good and sincere advice I feel like giving people is that though it could be wise to pick up a partner who already is into piss play, the truth is that everybody can be invited into it, it just requires a little talk....

[Scot_Lover 1,876]

11 hours ago, spywareonya said:

a good and sincere advice I feel like giving people is that though it could be wise to pick up a partner who already is into piss play, the truth is that everybody can be invited into it, it just requires a little talk....

And lots of love and patience. It can be done, sometimes more easily than you would expect, but yes, you can do it.

[Brutus 2,205]

19 hours ago, spywareonya said:

but I would still consider monogamy against nature anyway

Yes monogamy is against human nature. If it weren't, it wouldn't have to be enforced through marriage and the consequences of divorce. Even in countries where women have no rights and get killed for infidelity, they still cheat on their husbands. In other cases, men get cucked unknowingly by what they thought was a loyal woman. She got the seed of a manly man and he of course ran off to bang other women, while the clueless husband raises a child that isn't his. With men, we evolved to fuck as many women as possible, and in ancient times, the alpha males did just that. It still happens today, the only difference is now men get punished for it. Even being with a woman that is in every way near perfect and makes his life better in every way, he still wants to fuck other women because nature made him have that urge. So one day, he might just leave her for a young woman at work with a banging body without much thought. It's been scientifically proven that mens frontal lobe literally shuts off around attractive women, which is why their influence is something very few men can resist, even in biblical stories. Even being hyper aware of this weakness, I still notice myself falling to it. It's actually kind of scary in my opinion. Build skyscrapers, cars and technology, land on the moon, face an enemy in war? No prob. So no to sex? Nah, can't do it. "Them titties bro!"

Having spent most of my life as the typical nice guy that treats women super nice and gets passed over for ex cons and thugs, I've learned through keen observation and research that a small handful of guys attract hordes of women and the remaining 80 - 90 percent barely register as human beings to them. Once you get through swallowing the realization that you were ignored because you were simply unfit to the female sex, you understand that their drive to lay with the alphas is necessary for the species to prosper. Nature made them have that urge. If she happens across a true alpha that is a better package, existing commitments are secondary. That's scraping the surface of why monogamy isn't our natural behavior, and cheating will always happen so long as we continue fighting biology. Always. Some people resist the urge, many don't. But the primitive forces that drive cheating exist within us for good reason.

Edited April 28, 2018 by Brutus

[Scot_Lover 1,876]

I've had my share of morality police getting on our case, I'm legally married to one of my ladies, just not both of them. They can't explain why they are with me, just shrug and say "You just say and do the right things". I'm only average, 185cm, 80kg, relatively active and I'm trying to keep in shape with a torture rack (gym) in the garage. I even look old for my age, lol. The thing is though, they are happy to go off and do their own thing, or either of them are happy to do things with me. When the 3 of us get together, everything always goes well. 

Is this the alpha thing you mean? 

[spywareonya 37,961]

2 hours ago, Scot_Lover said:

Is this the alpha thing you mean? 

though it wasn'd addressed to me, my opinion is yes, and relates to

2 hours ago, Scot_Lover said:

They can't explain why they are with me, just shrug and say "You just say and do the right things"

 

anyway, I love to chat with you and @Brutus about these subjects

 

Beside the wrong side of cheating, there is something I find hot and somehow righteous in the cruelty of sexual desire leading to destroy everything in its path

Love means ten times sex, because sex doesn't keep you alive during situations (life and/or rituals) that bring you to the actual fringe of suicide

yes it can prevent you from if you got a good pussy to screw or even two or three, what I mean is that real loss of inner integrity can be fought back only by love

but beside GLORIOUS love, sex is the most important thing in the world, that's why I allow my pussy to run free, and whenever is fitting (I still have a heart and don't wanna be brutish) I let my man's cock do the same

Yesterday night I was deinifitely in for a good threesome but no girls wanted to join! ahhahahahahaha

[Brutus 2,205]

9 hours ago, Scot_Lover said:

I've had my share of morality police getting on our case, I'm legally married to one of my ladies, just not both of them. They can't explain why they are with me, just shrug and say "You just say and do the right things". I'm only average, 185cm, 80kg, relatively active and I'm trying to keep in shape with a torture rack (gym) in the garage. I even look old for my age, lol. The thing is though, they are happy to go off and do their own thing, or either of them are happy to do things with me. When the 3 of us get together, everything always goes well. 

Is this the alpha thing you mean? 

Yes. When a man is strong with how he carries himself, it just makes women feel good and they don't seem to be aware of exactly why. As an example, I've read plenty of research that when a man quits his job to be a stay at home father while the woman is breadwinner, at her request mind you, she loses respect for him not being the provider but never considered that outcome when she suggested it. These women usually cheat and divorce their husbands pretty quickly. When you're manly enough overall to the women in question, they'll often say something vague like "you just do the right things." If you were to get weak and too soft, they will feel dissatisfied with you but probably won't know specifically what you are doing to make them question your strength, and say something like "We need a break." Regardless, if they're saying you do the right things, and their actions support it, meaning they are loyal and respect you as the leader of the relationship, then you are definitely alpha enough for them. 

[Brutus 2,205]

8 hours ago, spywareonya said:

Beside the wrong side of cheating, there is something I find hot and somehow righteous in the cruelty of sexual desire leading to destroy everything in its path

Yes. Agree completely. I saw a video of a woman riding who I assume was her husband, with her baby crying in another room. It was so hot because she was really giving it to him hard, bed shaking and everything and her baby was just screaming for her and she didn't give half a shit, like "fuck you kid, mommy needs this dick right now."

Edited April 28, 2018 by Brutus

[spywareonya 37,961]

2 hours ago, Brutus said:

Yes. Agree completely. I saw a video of a woman riding who I assume was her husband, with her baby crying in another room. It was so hot because she was really giving it to him hard, bed shaking and everything and her baby was just screaming for her and she didn't give half a shit, like "fuck you kid, mommy needs this dick right now."

It's crude, and since I know you I know you are not crude at all, you are just doomed/crowned by the push to explore your most intense side, the most extreme fringe of the human soul

you would definitely be a good fuck

that said, I absolutely understand what you mean, and I agree

my dream, the world Witches dream and live (and some of them also kill and die) to create, is a world where these intense energies were channeled, which means not vulgarly controlled, but "well, positioned" like a high-speed railway which is wisely kept secluded from residence zones of the town, if you see my point

thus avoiding diplomatical incidents between sensitivity and instincts

humans got a soul, and the soul is the Paramount peak of evolution before reaching into the realms of the Gods

the soul is sensitive

but also got instincts

the only reason of life is to learn how to put the two together, without Killing our heart in order to be free to live our passions (but without a heart) nor drowning our flames of fury in the tears of an ever complaining and whining immature soul

experiences that empower and test an adult can traumatize a little children

we must be little children no more

and get hardened by life without falling in pieces, nor becoming hard

[expererg 1,185]

I kinda agree with @Brutus about monogamy, and in my marriage, I tend to dissociate being faithful and being exclusive. I am faithful to my wife (I've been with her for 20 years now, and been officially married for 7 years), and yet, it doesn't mean to me she has to be the only woman I can have sex with. On the other hand, having sex with another girl doesn't mean I would leave my wife or our relationship is weakened. I just don't see life as a binary 0 or 1 situation : 1 wife only for all the time I'm with her, or none, but no middle situation possible ? Why not ?

And of course, the exact same principle applies to her, if she would want it. I would have no problem for her to have sex with whomever pleases her, and it doesn't mean she would be unfaithful to me, as long as it doesn't imply having to separate because she would fall in love with someone else and want to leave me.

Edited April 30, 2018 by expererg

[spywareonya 37,961]

21 hours ago, expererg said:

I kinda agree with @Brutus about monogamy, and in my marriage, I tend to dissociate being faithful and being exclusive. I am faithful to my wife (I've been with her for 20 years now, and been officially married for 7 years), and yet, it doesn't mean to me she has to be the only woman I can have sex with. On the other hand, having sex with another girl doesn't mean I would leave my wife or our relationship is weakened. I just don't see life as a binary 0 or 1 situation : 1 wife only for all the time I'm with her, or none, but no middle situation possible ? Why not ?

And of course, the exact same principle applies to her, if she would want it. I would have no problem for her to have sex with whomever pleases her, and it doesn't mean she would be unfaithful to me, as long as it doesn't imply having to separate because she would fall in love with someone else and want to leave me.

agree 101%

too many people see this as a loosening of the grip of love but it is not true

the grip of love either exists or not

it is anyway true that I have seen open couples only playing the part of the emancipate and happy couple, and were simply peopl living together and having sex around with  strangers not because they were so in love that they could do anything, but for the exact opposite, because they thought to be in love, but they looked like they were not that much, so feeling no pain with sharing their partner, but not because of a great soul, but because they were sharing somebody they did not care for that much

that had Always been what I exactly wanted NOT my lovestory with Alex to become

[Blackinksoul30 1,246]

I'm against cheating... Sure i've gotten 'Personal' with a guy or two online since i got married. but never in person. 

I have told my hubby if he finds a hot girl.. at least bring her home to me so me and him can share her 😄 

[F.W 5,734]

Its great you are so faithful.You can flirt online with no probs.Its fun and harmless.

[Blackinksoul30 1,246]

11 minutes ago, fannywatcher said:

Its great you are so faithful.You can flirt online with no probs.Its fun and harmless.

It's really only with 1 or two guys which i have known online for years. if  a guy tries to get personal with me quickly... very much not comfortable with that. But if i've been online friends with them like..3 or 4 years..and they very much know my boundaries and they respect me. Then that's fine. 🙂 

[spywareonya 37,961]

18 minutes ago, Blackinksoul30 said:

I'm against cheating... Sure i've gotten 'Personal' with a guy or two online since i got married. but never in person. 

I have told my hubby if he finds a hot girl.. at least bring her home to me so me and him can share her 😄 

never cheated on him, nor he on me

we do not consider my lea+sbian escapades as cheating, also because often they actually end up in a threesome

even when they don't, and I have actually them without telling him anything or plainly lieing to him (it's part of a game play, no deception intended) it's not cheating

I have actually have lesbian lovers intended as parallel stories that even last for months, but where actually in the daylight, she visited us on our home and Alex cooked for the two of us while we fucked in master bedroom

nor do I consider cheating if he fucks another girl, though it happen rarely, more often if we are in a club and I hide to fuck a girl I just met, and he is left there to bore himself to Death, then he just hook up and fucks somebody, he is HOT AS HELL and an incredible seductor, so he very rarely ends up smoking by himslef sitting somewhere waiting for me to get my pleasure...

[Brutus 2,205]

9 hours ago, spywareonya said:

never cheated on him, nor he on me

we do not consider my lea+sbian escapades as cheating, also because often they actually end up in a threesome

even when they don't, and I have actually them without telling him anything or plainly lieing to him (it's part of a game play, no deception intended) it's not cheating

I have actually have lesbian lovers intended as parallel stories that even last for months, but where actually in the daylight, she visited us on our home and Alex cooked for the two of us while we fucked in master bedroom

nor do I consider cheating if he fucks another girl, though it happen rarely, more often if we are in a club and I hide to fuck a girl I just met, and he is left there to bore himself to Death, then he just hook up and fucks somebody, he is HOT AS HELL and an incredible seductor, so he very rarely ends up smoking by himslef sitting somewhere waiting for me to get my pleasure...

Your situation is rare due to your very high sex drive. Most women have nowhere near the drive that you have, and many are quite repulsed by sex, giving it to their husbands a few times a year just to keep him from suicidal depression. Usually men's sex drive is many many times stronger than the woman's. In my younger years, I was tortured by my urges to the point of not being able to focus on school work. I hated it honestly, all-day erections and wanting to jump every female under age 50 and under 250 pounds...

[spywareonya 37,961]

9 hours ago, Brutus said:

wanting to jump every female under age 50 and under 250 pounds...

exactly how Alex and I feel everyday, so we understand you

do not hate it, channel it