Expressing your thoughts

[Gotah 2,235]

One thing that has stood between me and an easier life is the fact that I really struggle to organize my head and express my thoughts properly. I generally don't have much to say and am a rather quiet person, but ocasionally the time comes where I get to share an opinion about a certain topic and all that comes out of my mouth sometimes is uncomprehensible gibberish or just a few sentences that only scratch the surface of what I am trying to say. It's frustrating and causes many misunderstandings sometimes. 

Do you have any tips on how to articulate yourself better when explaining or when arguing with someone?

[Kupar 12,478]

I think there is a huge range of articulacy among people, just as there is a huge range in ability to draw (!). You are certainly clear in your writing, so I guess it's simply the quicker cut-and-thrush of spoken conversation that is the issue. And many people find this hard. And many people aren't self aware enough to realise it!

I am not sure what techniques might help, but probably talking often with friends who you know well and would be non judgemental might help. Practice makes perfect, as they say. I also think that if it's possible to not overthink things that might help, though I know that's very difficult for some people. 

Everyone is different and acceptance is a good thing perhaps. Being 'that quiet one who writes beautifully and draws like a dream' maybe isn't so bad. But I wish you well in increasing your confidence in conversations and arguments. 

x

[Bacardi 9,167]

I am the same way but in general with everything I say. It's like when I open my mouth to talk my brain goes blank lol. Some call it undiagnosed ADD (I grew up in a community that didn't believe in mental illnesses), but I really don't know because I don't have any other issues with concentrating; just when I'm talking. That's why for serious issues I prefer to speak in writing. It's what works best  for me and my family. If we're having a discussion about money it's very helpful if we can be doing at least some of the discussion through a messaging app so I can have something to reference.

As far as arguing, I avoid that because just like you I am shy and quiet and I avoid confrontation as much as possible. Too much verbal and emotional abuse experienced as a child to be able to handle being yelled at. So I'll go back and forth with people but once they get aggressive I just walk away, even if that makes me the loser. I don't really care. My life is peaceful and that's all that matters.

[WantonLee 823]

I know that struggle, Gotah.

I can not give you any specific advice, other then trying to break down the point of view of yourself (and your interlocutors point of view, if that helps).
Do not just spurt out your thoughts; try to figure out the core of what you want to say.
What is the driving force behind /beyond your trail of thoughts?


It might also help to meditate regularly; if only for 5 minutes.
The core of meditation is to realize that you are not your thoughts, but your thoughts are a part of you.
They come up, just like the grumbling of your guts while they digest something. Kinda. ^^

Trying to keep a "blank mind" for as long as possible is the goal of meditation; because then things can come up from your subconsciousness, that usually are to quiet in comparison to the blabbering of your thoughts.

Do not worry, you can not stop thinking. That is what your mind is FOR.
But you want to get your brain back for at least a little while, so you can observe what is going on more clearly right in front of you (without the constant and automatic judgment of your mind).


That being said, do as Bacardi suggested:
do some online tests for ADHD (and maybe Autism, too).

Not only one, but at least 3 different ones.
If all of them agree that you MIGHT have ADHD, get an appointment at a professional.

And it might help to browse YouTube for people with ADHD, and what they have to say.
You might recognize some patterns... . 😉

(Note that no two people with ADHD are the same; they have similar experiences and problems, but the range of what ADHD entails is very wide. I speak of personal experience, being diagnosed with ADHD one and a half years ago... in my late 40's.)


Good Luck! 😄