I need to let go

[spywareonya 37,969]

Ok this will be offensive

 

I know, and for once I don’t care

 

I am angry as fuck

 

Last Saturday I went to a club, and I paid big money to be there

Ok, making long things short, no chances of table dancing, no girls to mate out with, they were all with a boyfriend or simply desponding, during a WHOLE fucking night I couldn’t hook up with anybody nor even piss somewhere are there were bouncers and cctvs EVERYWHERE

 

I had some kind of breaking point, fueled by a personal  and terribly complicated crisis I had on Friday (that anyway wasn’t the pivot), and I conquered an angry conclusion

I will for a while give up my classy-club style and revert to my metalhead night outs only, or at least I’ll try

 

I am starting to be awfully angry against all those stupid silly girls that really do not know what does it means to party, and this is also starting to impair the merciful attitude that is almost mandatory for a Witch, as I am really starting to get angry at all these masses of useless flesh flocking all around with empty eyes, and amazed at the OH MY GOD A GIRL IS PEEING

OK SO WHAT???????????????????

HOLY FUCK can I really be the only one to believe that sluttiness is amusing and a girl’s right?!?!??!?!??!???!??!

 

I see all these couples acting like they don’t know each other  (let alone love each other) or like sex was something strange that yes a lot of time ago I just tried but was not that much did you see my last iPhone???

 

There is something SICK in this world

I remember the nightouts with my lesbian lovers, all bare-pussy and drinking and pissing EVERYWHERE and each time I hid with my boyfriend to suck his cock, girls went by and just started pissing next to me, commenting on the blowjob I was performing…

WHERE THE FUCK is THAT world gone???

What the fuck happened????

I walk home by evening every day and all the hookers or simply naughty girls I used to see drinking with friends and popping squats wherever, all is gone, I just see NORMAL PEOPLE everywhere and I am really close to a mental break down

 

I HATE this world from my guts, normality is a mental illness because is a socially induced insincere and non-spontaneous behaviour that DESTROYS everything good in the Human Being, and I really am experiencing such a lack of positive experiences that even the most absurd ones

(I had some peerless piss last week, never talked about them because I am afraid I could be identified as the responsible and they were quite against the law… I mean much more than usual)

fail to break the negative streak

 

My capability to withstand lack of complying girls or simply slutty sightings is getting near its limit and this is affecting my overall wellbeing

 

I caught myself making a very precise set of dark toughts for the first time after YEARS, and I know it’s never a good sign

 

I am experiencing a moment of down in my trust for the world, careful now NOT with Humanity, uh, I will never lose my faith in it, I am just on the receiving end of a sad truth, that the best part of it seems to be vanished, and I am left with plastic barely legal girls wearing trousers so packed up with belts and at least three shirts one over the other that I think they could never pee not even in a toilet with half an hour to undress, almost like they all emanate this “World, stay away from my pussy” attitude

Holy fuck girls YOUARE A FUCKING PUSSY-BEARER, what they fuck do you think you exist about if you lose contact with your most holy meanings-crafter?????

 

I need sluttiness

I need to see it, I need to breath it, because sluttiness alone communicates what a girl really is, a girl which is not slutty is just plastic, she lost her Siren’s voice, she doesn’t COMMUNICATE anymore

Communication is not about conveying a message, it comes from the root-word COMMUNION, it means CONTACT

When a girl CONTACTS another creature, she COMMUNICATE what she IS, much before any actual message, which is absolutely TRIFLE compared to COMMUNICATION IN ITSELF, inferred as a state of mind

 

And when a girl communicates what she is, what she is appears clear to everybody: she is a SLUT and proud to whore it out, not for TRANSGRESSION but for RECONQUERING INNOCENCE against all of these rules and morals and prohibitions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I want to have sex in front of a fucking Square!!!!

I want to table dance for HOURS and stick my FUCKING PUSSY into everybody’s fucking face!!!!!!!

Why is that so hard???????

 

Where are all the girls that know that being classy is neighbour to being slutty??????????????

Where are all the girls that know that being a metalhead is neighbour to being a slut?????????????????

 

 

I am really experiencing a sad moment

 

Sorry for this, I’ll be fine soon

Thank you for your support and endurance

[speedy3471 10,657]

I feel very sad for you Nancy. This sounds like the story of my life. Women would give my the time of day. This all changed when I finally met my wife. Hopefully this is just a lull in your life.

Thank you for bearing your soul, hopefully we can help you get thru this together 

[spywareonya 37,969]

7 minutes ago, speedy3471 said:

I feel very sad for you Nancy. This sounds like the story of my life. Women would give my the time of day. This all changed when I finally met my wife. Hopefully this is just a lull in your life.

Thank you for bearing your soul, hopefully we can help you get thru this together 

Talking to somebody about it really help me figure it out in front of my eyes, and not into the wrinkles of my unconscious

[speedy3471 10,657]

22 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

Talking to somebody about it really help me figure it out in front of my eyes, and not into the wrinkles of my unconscious

We are all here for you, anything we can do to help just ask

[spywareonya 37,969]

16 minutes ago, speedy3471 said:

We are all here for you, anything we can do to help just ask

Your love is really stretching my unconscious bringing things to fall in lines before my eyes

So THANK YOU

[speedy3471 10,657]

35 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

Your love is really stretching my unconscious bringing things to fall in lines before my eyes

So THANK YOU

Your very welcome 

[Riley 13,065]

I'm really sorry this is happening but it's kind of due to the result of political correctness. I think in society people are so afraid of being shamed that people who normally would be out there are beaten into normality. 

Im kind of really shy but I still try to often deviate from the social normality. In terms of peeing I peed outside and in places I shouldn't because I like doing things that are considered wrong sometimes. 

I think that people will realize how much being politically correct is affecting the human experience and while for some things it is very necessary but for self expression it shouldn't take place. Where I am in a sense that has happened. A lot of people do wear very revealing outfits and other things to go against what the social norms are but it's a very complicated issue. 

Sorry for rambling and I really hope things get better. If there's anything any of us can do to help, let us know🙂

 

[spywareonya 37,969]

9 hours ago, Riley said:

I'm really sorry this is happening but it's kind of due to the result of political correctness. I think in society people are so afraid of being shamed that people who normally would be out there are beaten into normality. 

Im kind of really shy but I still try to often deviate from the social normality. In terms of peeing I peed outside and in places I shouldn't because I like doing things that are considered wrong sometimes. 

I think that people will realize how much being politically correct is affecting the human experience and while for some things it is very necessary but for self expression it shouldn't take place. Where I am in a sense that has happened. A lot of people do wear very revealing outfits and other things to go against what the social norms are but it's a very complicated issue. 

Sorry for rambling and I really hope things get better. If there's anything any of us can do to help, let us know🙂

 

Ok first of all THANK YOU for being here

 

On second stance… I am not sure it's them

 

How can I say?

@speedy3471 knows me a bit already on this...

 

 

It's me, I suppose

 

To me, sluttiness is MORE than sexual happiness

Is a feminist Revenge, but not against Society

It delves in the Occult

 

Witchcraft is KEPT IN THE LIGHT but is darker than I gave hints on this forum through me

It deals with deep and dark emotions

 

Just to give you a small insight in my true character, I get angry when I see a porn video and the girl removes her panties

Because she had them on in first place

 

Panties panties panties ALL AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANNOT STAND THEM!!!!!!

To me they have the same psychological feeling like they were still DIAPERED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like being girls refusing their sexuality

Not to mentions what I think of trousers

 

Some girls here wear them with Amazing eroticity but indeed because I know they are free in their hearts and thus they do not bother me at all

 

But the usual use of trousers by girl… almost phisically disgust me, I feel a wrinkle in my belly and lose appetite

 

I am THAT intense, under the surface of controlled politeness I exert in my life

It's not hypocrisy, being barbaric is not a form a sincerity unless all men should rape all women, channeling urges is not rationalizing and emasculating them, is just talking to them and putting them to listen to you, thus I feel perfectly at easy with my self-containment, but it doesn't let people know the real me

I was a vigilante, baby, and the anger you need to do some of the things I did or partecipated into, is not the anger of frustration

It's a deeper and darker kind of anger, that of the people that consider violence a fitting tool to achieve results, and that anger Always spawns forth from repressed sexual energy

One could say it was the beatings that I got from my family and that sent to hospital more than once until they was arrested but it is untrue, and I am almost embarassed in admitting this

 

I will never be like them, the rubber-face without a soul behind they showed when beating me, was NOT my kind of anger

Mine was more like the need to "change the world NOW"

 

I got past 90% of the anxieties my childhood instilled in me, Witchcraft training completely exorcises your demons and destroys them just like your character (and you, physically and mentally, if you don't comply) but that kind of anger is still in me

 

I just found a way to channel it

 

Humanistic use of pornography

I change the world NOW, without hurting anybody (though the ones we hurt definitely deserved it)

 

But I still feel the beast in the depths

It sleeps by now…

Yet, when my desire to change the world NOW meets the suffocating mediocrity of human drones, the beast's sleep becomes troubled and lighter

[CON2H4 671]

I've never really seen sluttiness, I daresay though, I wish I could. Maybe I need to get out past midnight some day.

Who am I kidding, I can barely make it past half seven. 😕

[will64 6,383]

i'll give you a HUG to try and make you feel better 🤗

[spywareonya 37,969]

24 minutes ago, CON2H4 said:

I've never really seen sluttiness, I daresay though, I wish I could. Maybe I need to get out past midnight some day

Theorically speaking is a matter of places, not hours

When some old pubs I used to visit were still open (all is closed now, or sold out to new owners turning them into sucking-pit of mediocrity), girls were starting to pee in full view on the sidewalk just at 9 PM, explaining they alleys behind the pub were already drenched in boy's piss and they joked about preferring not to step in it

Is a matter of psychology

I also had great sightings at concerts, people having actual sex (not hidden under a blanket, I mean her on top of him and going) or oral sex or pissing all around, I once witnessed three girls literally dropping their pants next to the stage and pissing there in front of everybody

Not that I wasn't used to do that myself, but I never dare to expect from other girls the same things I do myself, as for a Witch is mandatory to be as slutty as possible, so I am usually by far the most slutty girl in every single place I visit, because also if I see a girl doing something sluttier than me and she doesn't get arrested, you can bet I'll try to do that and even more!!!

I mean, if there are chances to do something epic and not ending up in jail, why should I miss such a great opportunity??????????

 

But it wasn't just a single sighting, some times ago I was blowing my man in a square in full public during a big party, and girls were taking turns pissing next to us, one of them was all playful and kept watching my man's cock all time as she pissed a flood (and farted, loud)

 

It is a world that still exists… but is dieing...

I completely chose to give up places claiming to be classy: being classy in my standard mean being slutty, if they mean being polite&mediocre, they can keep their class and shovel it up their polite asses

 

But also metalheads are spineless today

Back in old times, we were a force to be reckoned, now a teenager with jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt can call himself a metalhead

No, no and again NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I absolutely admit not all metalheads are of a black metal tribe, but it never was mandatory for a girl to be a black metal girl to pop a squat in full public or suck her boyfriend's cock while a hundred people watches and cheered

Now it's only me

I feel like the harbinger of a world that remained behind while the rest of it has "moved on", yet toward decay, not toward evolution

Everytime I listen to the most occult and ritualistic of my favourite black metal bands, I still wonder how it did not happen that other girls heard the call of the Gods and started to embody Their freedom and retaliation against this fallen, moralistic delusional Matrix that the world had become

 

 

Edited April 23, 2019 by spywareonya

[spywareonya 37,969]

11 minutes ago, will64 said:

i'll give you a HUG to try and make you feel better 🤗

Respect from you Always means so much to me

Thank you Will, it really inspires me

I will complain a bit longer, I need that, but I swear I'll also fight my way out of it

Thank you so much...

[speedy3471 10,657]

9 hours ago, spywareonya said:

 

 

One could say it was the beatings that I got from my family and that sent to hospital more than once until they was arrested but it is untrue, and I am almost embarassed in admitting this

 

I will never be like them, the rubber-face without a soul behind they showed when beating me, was NOT my kind of anger

Iam so sorry this happened to you. I cannot imagine how a parent can beat their child, let alone bad enough for a hospital trip. My wifes step dad used to beat her on occasion when she was growing up. I can't stand parents like him

Iam glad that you've learned to channel your anger and not turn out like your parents. It turned you into a strong independent women, you learned from that. Some people don't and grow up exactly like their parents

[steve25805 126,962]

@spywareonya, sorry for the late response.

I have been caught up chatting to real life friends about crises of one kind or another and only just logged in.

Sounds like you've had no luck this weekend meeting interesting people - instead only meeting endless droves of what I once called "straight heads", people whose idea of fun is narrowly defined within artificial "respectable" limits, and who react with shock horror at anyone stepping even slightly beyond the bounds. Such people are following the crowd and think they are having fun but in reality don't know how.

But don't let one unsuccessful weekend full of such encounters with no one truly adventurous showing up, get you down. There will be other weekends, other people. The boring bastards are a majority but they are not everyone.

As for the clubs with CCTV everywhere, they will never be my kind of club and am certain they are not yours. Write this weekend off and go fun-hunting in pastures new next weekend. Somewhere where you can be a free spirit.

[spywareonya 37,969]

@steve25805

@speedy3471

 

Thank you, both of you

 

It had been all up to Alex that showed me the way: ten years ago... I was on the way to become exact like them… never that superficial… but painful to the point of becoming hateful, and hateful to the point of considering fitting all bad things my emotional wounds suggested me to wreak unto others

I walked the Path, but Alex showed me the way, and had been by my side during countless hysterical crisis I had...

 

 

About channeling my anger, I could add a little detail to clarify

My anger was there since the beginning

I avoided adding a new, worse kind of anger, the one of my parents (mainly one, and the other looking the other way)

My personal kind of anger was there from the beginning, and it's not exactly anger

Is different

Is a characterial feature, perfectly described by a quote from a song (Cloven Hoof, by Marduk) "Destroy oppression through merciless aggression"

Is a "polemical idealism", an overload of intensity, respecting those who do little if they are humile and intense, while attacking not with simple reproach, but with an active  "hunger for revenge" those that do less than their best

We judge people's percentage of endevour, not the outcomes

 

 

That is the real me: I just chose to curb it down since what use could I get out of getting angry at people I already pushed away from my life?

 

The problem is that I had been fooling myself into believing I could push out those that do not wanna be my friends

 

 

Once, Alex said a stern thing. He is the Master of the Coven and faced thrice my shit, so he is entitled to say anything he wants and we take it like it was an Oracle speaking...

He said:

 

"I have time only for three kinds of people: those evolved enough to give orders unto me, those brave and good-hearted enough to stand side-by-side with me, and those humile and intense enough to accept orders from me. All Others are just to be saved from themselves, given we have time and chances"

 

It sounds very militaristic but I took those words to the heart

 

 

If you are better than me, I am willing to obey, don't abandon me!!!

If you are my peer (or slightly superior or inferior, so different, but SLIGHTLY), let's love each other and Exchange advices, I crave for you, I have been waiting for you for all my life!!!

If you are less strong than me, accept my guidance, I won't use you, I will just SHAPE you!!!!

 

 

 

ALL these kinds of human are part of the Witch Empire, even if they are completely outside the occult world. Just like the Church (that copied us, not the opposite) there are Clergymen and non-clergymen, yet they all are part of the same faith, the one in Humanity

 

Outsiders are Always to be considered potential peer or willful disciples, until they prove to be just superficial "straight heads" (your description is PERFECT), and in that moment we should be merciful toward them (Alex words are not the standard of our sterness, he is entitled to make short and harsh sum-up but he is more kind that it may be interpreted) but we are also allowed to exclude them from our lives

 

I had been fooling myself into believing I could go on forever focusing only on chances

I never saw the glass half empty since I started the Path...

 

 

...but now I am seeing it this way

I am angry at the little percentage of comrades…

 

It's not that things turned for the worse, it's subtler: they are like I Always knew they were...

 

I am just running out of patience

Not mercy

That is rooted in my philosophical view of life

But patience, wich is the fuel for merciful BEHAVIOUR, well THAT is running out

Edited April 23, 2019 by spywareonya

[steve25805 126,962]

31 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

If you are better than me, I am willing to obey, don't abandon me!!!

I can sometimes offer good advice but I will never be better than you. I will never have the right to give you orders.

 

33 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

If you are my peer (or slightly superior or inferior, so different, but SLIGHTLY), let's love each other and Exchange advices, I crave for you, I have been waiting for you for all my life!!!

In some ways in some things I am your peer. But when it comes to understanding deeper realities, you are far superior to me, though at least I think I am on a path of discovery you might acknowledge.

 

36 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

If you are less strong than me, accept my guidance, I won't use you, I will just SHAPE you!!!!

I have my strengths and my weaknesses, but know that overall I am less strong than you. I defer to you often in areas of deeper realities, happy to be guided by you.

 

Now you are looking from a pessimistic stance instead of an optimistic one.

But all of us involved in politics - just as in the occult - know that there is the easily manipulated herd mind, thoughtless, conventional, unthinking, not open to deeper realities, living lives brainwashed by the norms they are fed.

And then there are leaders, movers and shakers, free thinkers, those with contempt for unthinking norms. We are fewer in number, but we are not alone. Sometimes the straight heads bear us down with their mundane inanities, overwhelming us with it, and causing us to question the very point of going on. But in the end, they are mere robots, mere clones of each other. They are there to be won over, persuaded if open to persuasion, otherwise ignored. True free spirits have to be sought out and sometimes the search will be fruitless, but we are not alone.

And do not let a recognisable pattern lead you to despair. All new culturally revolutionary groups end up becoming tamed and mainstream as the straight heads move in and start imitating in the name of being "cool". It is happening to metal. In my day the same thing happened to punk. True free spirits and cultural, psychological and spiritual leaders and movers and shakers constantly need to stay ahead of the game so that when the straight heads start moving in on a bandwagon of faux rebellion and brainless coolness, causing the heart of a movement to lose it's true meaning, we can find the next cutting edge movement and be part of it. And laugh at the straight heads who imagine themselves to be anarchic rebels cos they dress up in leathers and try to headbang of a Saturday night before going home to mummy to prepare for their dull 9 to 5 jobs. You, @spywareonya, will always be ahead of them. They will not even be on the same planet as you, let alone playing on the same pitch. Whilst you are playing hard core football in life's top league, they'll be playing ludo with granny.

So do not despair.

[spywareonya 37,969]

15 minutes ago, steve25805 said:

Now you are looking from a pessimistic stance instead of an optimistic one

The core of all you said

 

You are fucking right

 

I just feel the need to complain again a bit😋

 

But you shook me

There was authority in your love 

Your words hit something in me

I think… I will stop complaining...

Just a little bit more and I will be fine again

THANK YOU

[steve25805 126,962]

Just now, spywareonya said:

The core of all you said

 

You are fucking right

 

I just feel the need to complain again a bit😋

 

But you shook me

There was authority in your love 

Your words hit something in me

I think… I will stop complaining...

Just a little bit more and I will be fine again

THANK YOU

Feel free to complain all you want.

A good rant sometimes is cathartic to the soul.

It is good to get things off your chest and you are amongst friends here.

[speedy3471 10,657]

We all need to vent from time to time. Hopefully you vented off enough steam hahah

[spywareonya 37,969]

8 minutes ago, steve25805 said:

Feel free to complain all you want.

A good rant sometimes is cathartic to the soul.

It is good to get things off your chest and you are amongst friends here.

 

8 minutes ago, speedy3471 said:

We all need to vent from time to time. Hopefully you vented off enough steam hahah

You guys saved my life

 

[Brutus 2,212]

Well I've read that in some Nordic countries with growing Muslim populations, the governments are terrified and women are responding by reigning in their sexual behavior. If you happen to live in such a country, that may explain why the sluttiness is disappearing. It could indeed be a form of political correctness manifesting. In the states, I can tell you that political correctness is reaching destructive heights, but here it is shaming male sexuality and encouraging female sexuality. We even have slut walks here, and men are almost at the point of being called rapists at birth. So that's what makes me think your country could be affected by the migrant surge right now.

If possible, I would suggest a shift in your passion, to not rely so heavily on sluttiness? I won't pretend to fully grasp the importance of it to your craft, but just as a general life wisdom, it's never good to invest your happiness, sanity and mental well-being so heavily in any one thing. It only serves as an eventual weakness, because you give it that much power over you. Imagine how you would manage in an apocalyptic scenario where there aren't many people to come by for miles. Sexual activity with others is off the table at that point, it's not possible anymore, so you'd have to adapt to deal with it or literally go insane.

Might I use myself as an example? I had/somewhat still have my porn addiction. Could we compare your need for slutty behavior to my need for porn? I hated how much power it had over me and how it had me in a vice grip, making me abandon nearly any other pursuit. Now that I've partially escaped it, the freedom I feel now is a beautiful thing. I've read that it takes 90 days to reprogram your brain. I would say it's possible. Now I don't even want to watch porn that much anymore and haven't watched hardly any since I posted a few links here a few days ago. Maybe if you could possibly pull yourself away from the importance of slutty behavior and not worry and anger over how other women are dressing, not dressing, acting and not acting that it won't bother you anymore. It seems you dislike normality but it's human nature, we are creatures of habit. Even you have your own normality.

You cannot control others, it's best to focus on the things you can control. YOU can control how things that are beyond your control affect you. You've already done much mental work that is far harder than this I'd say.

Again, that is if you can somehow fit this new mindset into your craft without violating it. 

Edited April 24, 2019 by Brutus

[spywareonya 37,969]

@Brutus

 

I understand your advice, but the thing is not that way, allow me to explain

 

To me sluttiness has nothing to do with sexual activity and is not a need

I cannot accept to see the Human Being in fetters

 

It is the core of my Path, I have endured things that could make a Marine crap his pants because I believe in this, I am possessed by this, to the point of phisical martyrdom

 

You (NOT you Brutus obviously, you pronoun) try to put me in fetters, you even subtly reek of desiring it, I will chew your throat away even with tied hands, just get a little closer

 

It's Beyond mental sanity my devotion to freedom

 

And being slutty, to me (I wrote it in the beginning, maybe you missed it among all this very dense thread) sluttiness is a way of woman to communicate herself, the fetish here becomes the woman itself for the simple fact she exists, the Fetish is the HUMAN (that's why I have countless fetishes beside pee, piss is just the main one)

 

To me being slutty is the same as being free, I am a horny and wild girl so to be being myself means to whore it out, it has nothing to do with getting somewhere, not even achieving appreciation, is more like Naturism

To better understand me, imagine me as a hardcore Naturist that lived on a small touristical island where complete nakedness was allowed even in restaurants and hospitals, and all of a sudden, Government banish all of this

I would walk around still naked because I refuse to submit

THAT is sluttiness to me: loving the fact I am a girl, loving the fact I wanna play and have fun and be free and make sex be recognized as THE ONLY THING WE ALL REALLY WANT

 

Brutus, let's face it: what does men want beside a girl whoring it out? Do you know how many selfies with my bare ass people take when I table-dance?

And girls with sake of mind, what should they want beside a girl like me, showing them how free they can be, starting the trend?

 

I am what people want, because we Humans must stick to each Others, celebrate our tribal tightness, achieve our desires

 

I want to avenge true pleasures (sex and freedom) against fake pleasures (all Others)

I want sex to be avenged to the point of living like Bonobo apes, having sex with each other as a way to shake hands

 

I won't be accomplished until the world will have become like the Gods I serve, free and wild and beyond Good and Evil, with Laws and morals thrown aside, and all humans shouting and shaking and revelling in perversion and joy, until the world itself will burn in an holocaust of ecstasy and freedom, and nobody will live that remembered laws and morals and limits

 

Until that, I will be like a caged tiger

 

But I am slowly starting to feel a little, LITTLE better, after all these marvellous chances to talk to good friends

 

 

[Brutus 2,212]

@spywareonya

Okay I understand your view of sluttiness better now. It is freedom, pure and simple.

Believe it or not, men do want more than women just whoring it out. Of course your ass will be photographed if you're shaking it atop a table, the environment calls for it, same as photos of the trees and landscape will be called for on a hike through mountains and dense forest. Affection is what men desire from women. Affection and affirmation. Most men define their worth according to female validation. Incels are miserable, not because they want a whore to cum in and throw away, but because they want a woman that cares about his existence. To know that someone is waiting for him to come home. Men who lose their kids and wife in divorce often kill themselves because everything they loved is gone. A woman with whorish ways is great, but it is not what men really want from a woman. Seeing his woman be happy and show love in return is what most men want. 

But regardless of your goals, I just don't want you to have such turmoil over a world you cannot control is all. 

 

[spywareonya 37,969]

@Brutus

Allow me to excuse and better express myself

I meant that a girl whoring it out is what they want to PARTY

 

My deepest nature is the one I deployed when PMing with you, my deep and loving respect for people's fights, for people's soul

That is the love I share with Alex and is also tender and caring and romantic

 

So yes I absolutely agree with you, it was my fault to miss proper explaination

 

 

And for the turmoil over a world I cannot control, I don't believe in control, I believe in STIRRING

I want a free world, and the funny thing of a free world is that all humans, being similar, would do the same things, positive things, those I love

Freedom is not plain chaos, it is smart even while it is wild, and thus has no backfiring

 

The line I wrote about a caged tiger was fitting: I feel an enormous sourge of energy inside and few chances to to channel/deploy it

 

 

I feel swallowed by mental illness, all these people allowing their freedom to be took away from them and they consider it normal in the meanwhile

 

Usually I have the mental strenght to endure this, but recently I got some personal crisis that drained all my energies, and too few remained to "go on like all was fine"

It NEVER was fine, I just had enough energy to withstand it

 

These days, I feel overwhelmed

 

But talking to you guys here is helping me in a great way, it exorcises my pain and put it all clear before my eyes, so that I can grow up through it

 

[Peefreak99 3,727]

If you need anyone to tallk to im here idk what to say really but yes i wish girls were more sluttier i mean SEX IS FUCKING AWESOME and nobody can deny that but then there's the political correctness it forces people to be in a certain way and never stand out from the boring grey mass because then they would be pointed out and shamed but i really appreciate that at least you haven't fallen for the pressure and i know you never will