If you were a doctor/nurse and needed a patient to give a pee sample?

[Blackinksoul30 1,246]

So i've been in situations in doctors offices where they would request a pee sample from me and i'd be too nervous. like i'd take the little cup into the bathroom and i just can't do it. (These were on the spot, didn't know ahead of time instructions for the pee sample) So most of the time i had already peed prior.  

If you were a doctor/nurse and wanted your patient to give a pee sample and they were nervous/anxious/shy what would you tell them? What would you do? 

[F.W 5,734]

One time i was actually required to urinate into a jug while a nurse was observing.It was a medical test etc,and i didnt find it remotely sexy.Apart from her telling me she often only passed a little in the mornings

Edited October 9, 2018 by fannywatcher

[bpb 788]

I remember heading a story of these military guys going thru a line and there was this build up of guys who couldn't produce a Pee sample.  This one individual came in a offered that he would give each a sample.  Well, it turns out that this individual had diabetes, so every one in the group failed the test and had to go for another test.   

[whiz kid 201]

I remember once getting into a conversation with a girl about this.  Asked her if she had ever had to take a surprise drug test.   She said the only time was when she went for a pre-employment physical for a summer internship she had gotten.  I asked what kind of test and she said "urine."  I asked her how it was and her response was pretty short.... "it was yellow."  

[Alfresco 11,631]

I once had to go for a medical for a volunteer job that I do driving steam railway locomotives.   I was away on business for my normal full time job and had to travel about an hour and a half back to go straight to the medical.  I arrived a little early and I really needed to pee, so without thinking about it, I went to the toilet and relieved my bladder.   I then went and reported that I had arrived and they said the doctor was available so I could go straight up.  We went through the tests (heart rate, blood pressure, physical ability, eyesight, hearing etc) then at the end he said , "OK, everything seems in order - I just need a urine sample from you."   He presented me with a clear plastic pot with screw lid, wrote my name on a label and told me to go to the toilets and then put the pot on a shelf outside his door when I was done.  

Now, I don't have a problem with peeing in a bottle (I'll pee pretty much anywhere), but having been to the toilet less than half an hour ago, I just knew that I wouldn't be able to oblige.   I told him it might take a while as I'd just been and he said not to worry - just put it there when I was done.  I thought I would try and squeeze out a bit so I went into the toilets.  There were two urinals and one cubicle, so I went in the cubicle and just stood there, dick in one hand, container in the other, but could I get anything out - no chance.  I heard others coming and going in the toilets and at one point I thought I could sense someone hanging around - probably for the cubicle, so that made me feel even more self concious and I knew it wasn't going to happen, so I zipped up, flushed (unecessarily, but in order not to seem odd) and left.

I had to go and get a bottle of water from my car and drink that, and get a cup of tea from a little cafe, where I sat and drank it.    I came out of the cafe and met another guy I knew who volunteered with me.  He had just pulled up and we chatted for a few minutes.  He then said that he had to go as he was "busting for a piss".   I told him that he might want to save some because that was why I was loitering around as the medical required a sample.  He thanked me for telling him as otherwise he would be in the same predicament.

Shortly afterwards, I felt ready to pee again and headed for the toilets.  This time I had no trouble filling the pot and overflowing it.  I was then heading for the stairs when the other guy was also coming to the stairs to go up for his appointment.  He asked if I'd managed and I said yes, I had and was just about to deliver it.  He said that he had gone straight up and got a container and had obliged with a sample and was now going up for his appointment.  He produced his container and when we put them down next to each other on the shelf he said "I think I need to drink a bit more"  His pee was dark coloured, almost orange wheras mine by contrast was a light straw colour.   We both laughed and he headed in for his appointment as I headed back down the stairs to go home.

As an aside, where we volunteer, we are often a bit away from the toilets which are only in the station building and neither of us has any qualms about peeing by the side of the loco shed rather than trekking up the yard and across the car park to the station just to pee. Several of the guys have the same attitude, but there are some who wouldn't even consider peeing there and would prefer to make the trek to the station building.

[PissDude 479]

When I was in the Navy, I hated the "piss test". Somebody had to observe you, which gave me stage fright. After I got out, it got a lot easier. They give you a bottle and send you into a private toilet. Much easier.

Few of these are memorable, except for the last one, about two and a half years ago for my current job. I had to get an appointment. I drank a bunch of coffee before I left. By the time I was ready to leave, I started to question whether or not I could make the drive plus a possible wait if they were late. I let what I figured to be about half of my bladder out before I left so I'd still have some. When I got there, this place had signs about if you need to take a leak, you have to reschedule. I wanted out of my last job bad enough I wasn't going to delay starting my new one. They were running late for my appointment, and I was starting to worry I wouldn't make it.

When I finally got called back, there were two techs involved, a guy and a girl. The girl was somewhat cute, and seemed to be spending more time with me. I tried to imagine that she needed to go, and part of me wanted to invite her in but I obviously know better. They were giving me instructions, and I wanted to say "I know how to piss." I finally got sent into the bathroom, put enough in the bottle to make them happy, then finished off a satisfying piss into the toilet. Then I gave them the bottle and after signing the forms and them sealing it, went home.

[Navdoc73 2,181]

I was a lab tech for about ten years. I was offered a few times by females to come in and watch. Never had the balls to take them up on the offer. I did enjoy it when a hot woman handed me a still hot cup of pee. 

[wetmanjf 2,787]

Working in a field where we work with controlled drugs we are subject to random drug tests. Several years ago I had to go and be tested. We had to fill the cup about 3/4 full and then take it to the lab tech and watch as they prepared it to be sent off to be tested. The girl had to pour it into two plastic tubes and then seal it so no one could tamper with it.

As the girl picked up my cup and went to pour it in the tubes the cup slipped from her hand. It bounced off the desk and spilled all over her shirt and pants. The poor girl yelled for help...finally another girl came to see what was wrong...The girl said "I just spilled his pee all over me !!"  The girls reply was "I'd be naked by now" Finally another girl  went to the OR to get her some scrubs...The girl went into the bathroom and removed her drenched clothes. The girl came back and threw the scrubs on the counter. The girl peeked out of the bathroom and I had to hand her the scrubs. She was Furious. Not at me or at what happened but because no one would come and help her. She had to call housekeeping to come clean up all the pee.  For weeks all my co-workers joke that I gave the girl in the lab a golden shower LOL

Wetman

[Blackinksoul30 1,246]

If you were with a girl, and she was nervous to pee in a cup. what would do or tell her to help her relax?  would you say something like, "It's okay sweetie...just try to relax. you can do it darling.. the doctor just needs you to pee a little bit. here ill hold the cup for you. come on sweetheart.. i know you drank a lot..please pee for me honey." what else would you do or say to her? 

That's kinda what i meant by my original post... from my experience... not being able to pee..and getting nervous/embarrised about having a shy bladder.. my fantasy would be..to have my spouse give me words of comfort and encouragement. 

[Navdoc73 2,181]

Blackinksoul you reminded me of a few more memories. With wife #1 we were really in to pee. There were many trips to the doctors office where I had to "help" her collect a urine sample. We were trying to have a baby so most of the visits were fun. It took a little while for her to concieve but we were not really stressed about it. 

Before the pregnacy she would pee anywhere and not care who was around. Once she became pregnant she would have almost now warning. I would have to stop and just let her pee. On a few occasions she peed in cups in the car. Once when she was just about due she peed in a baking pan that was left in the car after a holiday pot luck party. 

My first child was born about 9 months after the first Gulf War. So the Navy hospital I worked at was packed with post deployment moms qho got pregnant once their husbands got back from the war. We had many false alarms about her going in to labor. Most of the time the nurses were too busy with the other moms to get her to the bathroom quickly. I would just help her with a bed pan. She would get a little extra attention when she was finished peeing. We both enjoyed that. That went well till the night our son was born. She was in active labor and had to pee really badly. So I got the bed pan in position and watched eagerly for her pee to come out. Instead the top of my son's head appeared. I ran to the hall to get some help becuase they were too busy to hear the call button. The wisked us in to delivery and my boy popped out. 

[whiz kid 201]

10 hours ago, Navdoc73 said:

I was a lab tech for about ten years. I was offered a few times by females to come in and watch. Never had the balls to take them up on the offer. I did enjoy it when a hot woman handed me a still hot cup of pee. 

That's what's so cool about it, knowing that that warm yellow liquid in the cup just came out her pussy.

[Navdoc73 2,181]

I was glad that we wore long lab coats. Things became more difficult when I had to wear scrubs. 

[Adyguy6970 877]

I remember going to a hospital appointment some 24 years ago and, like Alfresco, being asked to provide a urine sample just after I'd been to the loo, not realising one would be required.  In the event I managed to squeeze out a few drops but that's all it was.  Since those days I've become a Type 2 Diabetic and have to go to my surgery every 6 months for an appointment with one of the nurses.  Needless to say I always have to take a urine sample but nowadays have to use the special plastic bottles they provide which necessitates collecting one ahead of my appointment.  Health & Safety has put paid to me taking a sample in a jam jar as I used to.