Relationship loneliness

[Moore007 282]

I’d like to bring up a pretty stigmatized topic, loneliness. Having fetishes or kinks in still not fully acceptable in many cultures. In the western culture it’s pretty normative to be inclusive and open for different opinions and desires but reviling for non-sex-positive persons a desire for playing with piss together with other persons might be problematic. I mean how many of you could easily bring up piss as a subject at a dinner together with friends or relatives? I’d like to ask you all in here, are you feeling lonely in your relationship or if you are not in a relationship, are you feeling different or lonely or perfectly normal? 

[Quiet V 105]

I would never bring up peeing to friends or family. I’m also not in a relationship but that’s not related to pee. I’m just not good at relationships more than friends and I don’t pick up when someone is flirting. Sometimes I am a little lonely and I distract myself. but mostly seeing friends at work and sometimes hanging out outside of work is enough for me.

[Brutus 2,132]

I also would never mention this to friends or family, it simply won't go well. As comfortable as we are here, we are still into what boils down to a bodily waste that most people find very weird to be aroused by. I'd almost argue nature ensures people like us exist in small numbers, similar to psychopathy. That being said, I think pee is in a gray area of almost accepted by a portion of the general population. It's much less offensive than excrement for example. Does it feel lonely? I suppose, but feeling lonely isn't specific to fetishes. Plenty of "normal" people feel extremely lonely, often while married.  

[MRJH22 153]

An interesting topic. If I mention pee to friends it’s done in a lighthearted indirect way. I wouldn’t just say I have a pee kink. 

[Bacardi 9,456]

(If you see double of this post it's because it got posted when the site went down and I usually have to delete the extra two or three times. Sorry in advance 😅)

I brought up my fetish to my ex years ago and it turned out bad for me. He shamed me so bad I don't have the courage to tell my husband cause of the trauma. I feel like it's not his thing and he'd accept me without the shame, but the wound still hurts too much to open again so I just keep it to myself. 

I'd definitely never bring any kink/fetish/aspect of my sex life up with my family and the majority of my friends. I'm just not that kind of person to talk about my sex life casually with my friends and family like that lol. 

However, I did have a friend at my old job that we often talked about what we'd do if we had a threesome. That was the same friend I had peed in front of a few times, and I had jokingly thrown out what she would do if her boyfriend had a pee fetish. I cant remember her response which probably means it wasn't remarkable. 

Edited May 21 by Bacardi

[FlyingthedreamUK 230]

Having the confidence to bring up a kink to someone is always hard. Especially if it’s someone you’ve known for several years. 

The best way seems to be to bring it up early on in a relationship, especially if it’s extremely important to you to include it in the relationship.

It does however become a fine line between what you want though… for instance if you were with an incredible partner, would you sacrifice the relationship if they weren’t in to the same kink?

I think many of us here have felt a loneliness in thinking that we’re the only ones that have this kink. And it does suck at times that you can’t enjoy it with someone else but we do have this site to express ourselves and while not the full relief you may want it is certainly something.

 

[pguy2981 969]

Just got out of one so I can no longer speak to how isolating that is, but it was indeed isolating. Much like @Quiet V, I am not good at relationships and don't have a group of friends currently, so only knowing people into the kink that are online can also feel quite isolating, but I get enough from porn when I feel like it. When that's not enough, I am usually distracted with work and hobbies and that is enough for me. I really don't like the idea of meeting someone and making those dark parts of me known to them in a way that could come back to bite me later. Some may argue that connections come at a personal risk by default, and I'll tell them this is exactly why I don't do it. It may be isolating, but it far outweighs the risk imho.

[Moore007 282]

I have some friends, both male and female that are open minded and we can talk about Sex and kinks over a dinner and I’ve been pretty open with what I like and I’ve said I’m into squirting but I don’t mind if I it’s pee so if I can’t get squirted on I might as well be peed on and it’s amazing how much this opens up the dirty mind of people. Of course it’s a question about vulnerability but isn’t every relation about vulnerability? Even going to a therapist means you will put yourself in a situation that gives another person a possibility to judge you. So I think loneliness is a product of our own mind. At the end it’s all about being afraid of exclusion because who would want to be excluded from the society? But is it worth the loneliness to keep it a secret? I think being afraid of the outcome or the result of a relationship makes an individual restricted. It’s however a very difficult situation and a difficult question to answer.

[jorel2012 221]

I'd never bring up a sexual or kink related topic in front of my family or friends.
It just does not fit in these kind of small talks.
And I myself would react weird if someone talks about such a topic to whom I don't have a sexual relationship.
Except a therapist or so...

Inside a relationship that involves sexual activities I would bring it up of course, as it's a very important thing in my sexuality.
Sex without peeing is ok for once but over time it would be a dealbreaker.
So a "confrontation" would be necessary to get to know each other as soon as possible.
If there would be no agreement on this I'd consider breaking up because in the longterm it would create too much unwanted tension.
Had this mess for 10 years... never will I let this happen to me one more time.

 

[Alfresco 11,159]

I did bring it up with my wife.   I have loved seeing girls peeing, particularly outside, for all my adult life.   I didn't raise the subject as soon as we were going out together, but then again I didn't raise the subject of sex either.   I was quite an innocent back then and so was she, so we had a very slow start in our relationship.   However, I couldn't help but desire to see my (at that time) girlfriend peeing outside and one day it happened because she was really desperate and she said she wasn't going to make it home so asked if I would find somewhere we could stop to pee.   I said that there were no obvious places with toilets on the rest of our route but I asked if she would consider peeing outside.   She said that she was desperate and would do so.   I was already getting hard thinking about this!   When we did stop she dived out of the car and peed a flood on the tarmac next to the passenger door with me watching from the driver seat.   When she got back in she apologised for having to do that and I thought well if there is going to be an opportunity then this is it.... so I I said to her that she really shouldn't worry and that we all get caught short and that I had peed outside lots of times in my life.  I then went on and said and actually that was super hot to watch.   That then led to a bit of a conversation and she then understood that I enjoyed it.   Over the years she then peed outside a few more times and each time I said how much I enjoyed it.   We had more discussions and she knows that I like seeing girls peeing outside as well as various other ways of enjoying pee.   She indulges me from time to time, but she doesn't share my appreciation of it.   So it is not a particularly regular thing but she certainly isn't shy about peeing in my presence, always leaves the bathroom door open, happily admits to peeing in the shower and the pool, tells me if she is peeing in the pool and so on.   When the need arises she will pee outside, but only if there are no other options.   If she does pee outside then she has no issue with me watching and sometimes that leads to sex outside too....  

We have also had a few (but very few) times when we've had sex involving her peeing on me or me drinking her pee.   She really doesn't understand why I want that, but again sometimes she is willing to oblige.

As to whether I would bring it up in conversation with others - well I don't talk to others about any of my sex life, so I wouldn't bring it up in the context of a fetish but neither would I talk about sexual positions or where we have had sex or basically anything about our sexual relationship.   However, I have had conversations about peeing with friends.  Mostly in the order of discussing situations where I or others have got desperate and peed in places other than toilets or been very desperate in getting to the toilet.   I have enjoyed these conversations and have been pretty open about my view that I actually enjoy an outdoor pee and I think it is perfectly acceptable that ladies should do too.  What I haven't said is that actually I love seeing ladies peeing outside and sometimes I've gone out of my way to witness it.   I also don't say that I deliberately avoid the toilet before going out so that I can pee outside and I certainly haven't told them that I enjoy some peeing in naughty places like carpets, stairwells and such like.

I don't really have lots of friends.   Most of my friends are really people I know in certain pursuits that I participate in and I don't see them away from that group.   My wife has a few friends that have become mutual friends and I have had pee conversations with some of them sometimes, but they don't usually go very far.

Am I lonely?   Well because my wife is understanding of at least some of my interest, that helps a lot, but there are many of the more adventurous considerations which I would like to discuss with people and I only do that online.  I wouldn't say I was lonely, but I do wish I could be totally open and honest with my wife and that she would enjoy participating and would be happy for me to participate with others as well.   However, we've had good discussions and I know exactly where she stands, where the line is drawn and what she doesn't mind me doing.    She has for example said that she doesn't mind the fact that I enjoy seeing other ladies peeing outside but she doesn't want to know about it.   Of course that does make it difficult for me as we are very open about everything else and we always know what each other is doing, so I can't really go out late at night on my own without telling her why.

 

 

[Kirby23 818]

Interesting question / topic. Like @Alfresco and others, I've brought up the topic with my wife, who occasionally indulges, but doesn't share the kink. She also doesn't like to talk about it, so I rarely bring it up, unless the topic arises naturally.

I have several close male friends with whom I get together regularly. We all have wives and families, but rarely (if ever) talk about sex. In the right circumstances, I suppose I could see the topic of sex arising in one of our conversations, but I'd never bring up my kink, even among my closest friends.

Similarly, I have a close female friend "K," with whom I've discussed sex-related topics. We haven't discussed kinks/fetishes, but we've gotten close. For example, I know her masturbation habits, I know a few of her sex "moves," etc. I suppose if the topic arose naturally, I could see easing very gently into the topic with her, and see how it goes.

So given that I have no other outlets (other than this forum) to discuss my kink openly, yes, I would admit to some "loneliness" around it. I definitely wish I had someone IRL with whom I could share stories, experiences, etc., like we do here.

[Moore007 282]

I understand you. It’s difficult to get down to the complex understanding of fetishes when there is a sexual incompatibility between partners. My partner is not into pee but she can understand parts of my interest for pee but far from all of it. She’s willing to listen but there are some things she just can’t understand. Like the smell of pee which turns me on. She also can’t understand how on earth I can get turned on by having Sex with a woman who peed herself multiple times, smells slot of piss and dint shower for a week. It makes me crazy hard to think about that but for her it’s just gross.  I’ve been to sex-therapists through my relationships with women and all therapists say that a majority of people have a very poor contact with their deep desires and there is a great portion of people that isn’t turned on by anything at all and they also suffer since sex for them is neutral, like watching TV or reading the news paper. Again, sexual compatibility is something that should be considered more carefully since sexual health is of great importance for most individuals and it brings many positive health effects. 

Edited May 22 by Moore007

[Scot_Lover 1,811]

I met my wife in 2005, and married her soon after, almost 20 years ago now. She was more kinky and depraved than I was back then, but now, due to failing health and medication, we've slowed down somewhat.

I'm not lonely, we do normal things, shower, walk around the house naked, snuggle up and watch movies/TV together. We are soul mates.

As for sharing our kink? No, it's not the done thing, and although it's dried up and no longer a part of us, we have our memories, those memories are ours, only shared on here. 

I can talk to other like-minded people about our kink, Mrs has no problem with me doing that, so we are content.