Advice for when you're feeling down

[Gotah 2,382]

I must admit guys I haven't been in harmony with myself throughout these weeks of summer, and lately I've started to hate myself a little to much to the point where the weight in my chest becomes unbearable.

No one's died, no one's been mean to me, in fact nothing traumatic has happened, life hasn't been unkind to me. I "simply" just don't like who I am right now.

Can you relate to that somehow? Any advice on how I could handle this crisis?

Thank you!

[Bacardi 10,134]

I won't make the jump and assume what you're suffering from is depression. However, what I will say is I feel this way a lot when my depression gets the best of me. Once again I'm not diagnosing you, just a preface as to where my advice is coming from. Okay? 

Whenever I am not feeling like myself, I try to keep busy. I find that sitting around and doing nothing, no matter how badly I want to be doing it, leaves my mind to wander to places I don't like it to. So, for me that looks like video games, a new craft I've picked up, playing with my kids or taking them to do something fun, cleaning the house, cooking, etc. 

Also, I try to stay on top of taking my medication. I have a few different pills I need to take every day, most of them are OTC. Vitamin D usually keeps me at least at baseline happiness, but again I can't ever remember to take it every day so it doesn't work for me lol. Maybe it will work for you? It comes in several different IU strengths and you can get them cheap at any grocery store. Give it a try, if you're interested!

[mickymoist 3,515]

@Gotah I don't think I'm any good at giving advice but for what is worth I think you're a great writer, an amazingly talented artist and a great looking guy who's made some hot videos that I really love.  I'm sure things will turn around soon xxx

 

[Gotah 2,382]

2 hours ago, Bacardi said:

I won't make the jump and assume what you're suffering from is depression.

I don't want to make an assumption either even though it definetly feels like depression sometimes

2 hours ago, Bacardi said:

Whenever I am not feeling like myself, I try to keep busy.

I try to do that too, but sometimes it's easier said than done sadly. It's hard to find the motivation to do stuff when you're feeling down.

2 hours ago, Bacardi said:

Vitamin D usually keeps me at least at baseline happiness

Hmm, I should try that!

Thanks for the advice @Bacardi! Appreciate it!

[gldenwetgoose 21,498]

Hi @Gotah - I don't have any specific answers, magic wands or crystal balls unfortunately.

But I can tell you just how valued a member you are here - from your amazing art, to your way with words.  All of that stacks up to a huge number of people caring deeply about you, even here in this virtual world.   And I'm sure that will also be true in the real world too.

Asking for help is a great thing, it takes strength in itself.  If you see us about in chat anytime feel free to pop your nose in, always happy to chat rubbish as a distraction or try and be more positive and helpful.

You're not alone!

[Bacardi 10,134]

14 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Asking for help is a great thing, it takes strength in itself.  If you see us about in chat anytime feel free to pop your nose in, always happy to chat rubbish as a distraction or try and be more positive and helpful.

Ah yes. Any time I'm feeling down and I pop into the chat if the regulars are about they always make me feel better. I've become so attached to the chat any time I have free time and I'm alone I always poke my head in to see what's going on! Join us, if you can! We have fun conversations about everything. Not always just sex and pee.

[WantonLee 861]

On 8/15/2023 at 4:07 PM, Gotah said:

I must admit guys I haven't been in harmony with myself throughout these weeks of summer, and lately I've started to hate myself a little to much to the point where the weight in my chest becomes unbearable.

No one's died, no one's been mean to me, in fact nothing traumatic has happened, life hasn't been unkind to me. I "simply" just don't like who I am right now.

Can you relate to that somehow? Any advice on how I could handle this crisis?

Thank you!

Can you identify the voice in your head?
The one that is hating you.. I assume it talks negative about certain things you do/think/don't do/whatever?

By identifying I mean: where does this voice come from?
Can you remember anyone in your life who talked to you in the same way?
Usually someone in your childhood...?
For me it is often my father talking bad about me.

Well, not literally of course, but... lets say:
my ego - while it was "under construction" during childhood - was to some extend formed by the experiences I had.. by the persons I interacted with... the more present or important that person, the more influential it was in regards to shaping my ego.

I think this is true for most of us.
But we tend to forget that the ego - the voice in our head that constantly comments on everything or talks about something - is not what we are.

It is _part_ of us, but it is not _us_... our consciousness is what we are, and if you have problems understanding this, just realize the your consciousness is what is (or can be) aware of said voice... your thoughts.

 

I know this sounds all a bit... aloof.
The past months - after being diagnosed with and thus far successfully treated for ADHD - a lot has changed for me.
Amongst other things I appear to have become somewhat more spiritual (don't worry, I am not going to venture into religion, as to me this is almost the opposite of spirituality).

As a closing thought:
do you think meditation is something you would consider helpful?

 

Anyway, best of luck, 🙂

[Gotah 2,382]

23 hours ago, WantonLee said:

Can you identify the voice in your head?
The one that is hating you.. I assume it talks negative about certain things you do/think/don't do/whatever?

By identifying I mean: where does this voice come from?

The voice is definetly there I have however no idea where it could come from. I never had anybody in my life who talked like this to me. I guess this all just me, if that makes sense.

23 hours ago, WantonLee said:

As a closing thought:
do you think meditation is something you would consider helpful?

I've been thinking about trying it for years now, maybe this could be a good opportunity to do so 🙂

[WantonLee 861]

12 hours ago, Gotah said:

The voice is definetly there I have however no idea where it could come from. I never had anybody in my life who talked like this to me. I guess this all just me, if that makes sense.

I've been thinking about trying it for years now, maybe this could be a good opportunity to do so 🙂

Well, you can always try and confront the voice and "ask" it, what it wants. 😉

Just use it like you would us any kind of critique:
If it is helpful - by for instance showing me something I am normally not aware of - I usually consider it a friend.
If it is just nagging I literally confront it and ask it if it has a point; it usually disappears then (although it might return later ^^).

 

As for meditation:
I have no idea what would work for you.

Here is a playlist from Eckhart Tolle:

 

And this is some interview of a monk Indian-English monk:

(mind the click-bait title; I found it helpful nevertheless.)

 

Good luck! 😄

[Gotah 2,382]

On 8/18/2023 at 10:18 AM, WantonLee said:

Well, you can always try and confront the voice and "ask" it, what it wants. 😉

Just use it like you would us any kind of critique:
If it is helpful - by for instance showing me something I am normally not aware of - I usually consider it a friend.
If it is just nagging I literally confront it and ask it if it has a point; it usually disappears then (although it might return later ^^).

 

As for meditation:
I have no idea what would work for you.

Here is a playlist from Eckhart Tolle:

 

And this is some interview of a monk Indian-English monk:

(mind the click-bait title; I found it helpful nevertheless.)

 

Good luck! 😄

Thanks alot @WantonLee!

[Horse_water 637]

Do you physically exercise until you are truly exhausted?

This is a psycho American answer but I have a Glock I keep by my bed and one by my desk to remind me that if I ever have dark thoughts I need to do something about immediately.

[Gotah 2,382]

On 9/2/2023 at 5:29 AM, Horse_water said:

Do you physically exercise until you are truly exhausted?

Sometimes I do. I mainly go on hikes from time to time but unfortunately it only helps to a certain extent. I feel fine while I'm doing the activity but once I get home and rest, the dark thoughts usually come back. Not always, but most of the time.

[WantonLee 861]

On 9/5/2023 at 8:21 AM, Gotah said:

Sometimes I do. I mainly go on hikes from time to time but unfortunately it only helps to a certain extent. I feel fine while I'm doing the activity but once I get home and rest, the dark thoughts usually come back. Not always, but most of the time.

About to hug the pillow, so I will try briefness for a change. 😉

You probably feel fine while hiking because your mind is busy doing other things and have no capacity available for ruminating...?
Just a guess, but would be in accord to what spiritual teachers call "being in the now", which is often achieved while being in a flow.

Try listening to this:

 

Eckhart Tolle is a spiritual teacher with German roots and I personally consider him one of the best exports of the nation I was born in.

DISCLAIMER:
If you - like me - have a problem with the word "God", be aware that spiritual people have a vastly different idea about the universe and our place in it, in contrast to religious people.
I perceive the spiritual point of view almost as an antithesis to the religious point of view, and - being an atheist - found quite a lot of common ground with them.
It is certainly way more positive and helpful then the dogmatic "OUR God is the only true one and you will burn in hell if you disagree"-fearmongering rhetoric of most religions... . ^^


Best of luck! 🙂

 

P.S.: Briefness did not work... ah.. maybe next time. 😛