An observation about non-pee related discussions with other members + a question!

[Takashi96 847]

I'm probably repeating myself here. But one of the things that I still can't wrap my head around is how unburdened I feel in this virtual space. I know there's a broad spectrum of ways in which we manage the reality of living with a piss kink and how we present ourselves in our real world relationships. 

Some of us are open about it with our partners, and some of us are even open beyond our intimate relationships. Some of us have willing partners who indulge our urine based desires, while others have partners who simply tolerate, or reluctantly reciprocate our less acceptable cravings. And there are, perhaps a number of us who have never shared this part of ourselves with anyone. 

In my experience, divulging this fetish to an intimate partner has never ended well. Even when they started out enthusiastic and indulged all my requests. 

But the part that really messes with me. The part that feels the most like a curse is the masking. The closeted angle. The fact that no matter what best version of me I present to the world, that image would most likely be irreparably damaged if I were open about this part of my internal reality. 

I was talking with an friend last night about all manner of important social issues. Issues with which I legitimately share her concern. But at the same time, she's held a decade long spot in my top five people I associate with in real life who I want to watch urinate. In fact, I don't know if I've ever been around her when it didn't cross my mind once, at least briefly. I'm quite certain if she knew that, she would be repulsed. And any credibility I had as an ally or whatever, would disappear. Her idea of who I am would have to move to a different file. I don't know, sometimes it's exhausting. 

But here I can have delightful discussions on all manner of subjects with different people, and all my paraphillic baggage is just another part of me. Like my eye color or something.

How does it feel for you to be yourselves here?

It's so odd to me. I've had so many pleasant exchanges here where I've wondered how the person I'm speaking with can treat me like an adjusted human being, while being aware that I imagine them (or in some cases have seen them) peeing?

Edited October 22, 2022 by Takashi96
Clarity

[Peenicks 853]

Personally, I don't mind being the subject of others' sexual fantasies, even if I may not be interested in them sexually. Mostly because I've had an issue with feeling unattractive or out of shape.

As for my fetish, I end up sharing it with all my friends and partners at some point mostly because I like talking about sexual experiences and I tend to attract and make friends with people who are cool with that kinda stuff. Obviously I use discretion on whether or not my friends would be okay with hearing about my fantasies but it's not like I try to pretend they don't exist. Could never talk about that kinda stuff with family tho, but that's a whole nother can of worms. 

I think it has changed a lot of people's perception of me and probably drove atleast one of my past partner or friends away, but no one's been outright disgusted or unaccepting of it. My philosophy is if they're not willing to accept that part of my identity, then it's probably for the best that we stay distant. I don't wanna try and be secretive or someone I'm not around my friends, if I wanted to lie and pretend to be a perfectly pristine and obedient cog in a machine I'd go to a job interview.

[Takashi96 847]

18 minutes ago, Peenicks said:

Personally, I don't mind being the subject of others' sexual fantasies, even if I may not be interested in them sexually. Mostly because I've had an issue with feeling unattractive or out of shape.

As for my fetish, I end up sharing it with all my friends and partners at some point mostly because I like talking about sexual experiences and I tend to attract and make friends with people who are cool with that kinda stuff. Obviously I use discretion on whether or not my friends would be okay with hearing about my fantasies but it's not like I try to pretend they don't exist. Could never talk about that kinda stuff with family tho, but that's a whole nother can of worms. 

I think it has changed a lot of people's perception of me and probably drove atleast one of my past partner or friends away, but no one's been outright disgusted or unaccepting of it. My philosophy is if they're not willing to accept that part of my identity, then it's probably for the best that we stay distant. I don't wanna try and be secretive or someone I'm not around my friends, if I wanted to lie and pretend to be a perfectly pristine and obedient cog in a machine I'd go to a job interview.

I don't mind either. I undressed for money many years ago. 

I suspect there might be more and less acceptable variations of this fetish. For example, "I like being peed on" is probably more acceptable than "I want watch you pee."

And funny you should bring up job interviews. Because that's one of those things where if it got spread around maybe an insular community, could be damaging. I want a job at such and such business, but the woman doing the interview casually knows my vindictive ex. And maybe my ex likes to get drunk and complain to her friends, and anyone else who will listen about her exes. So when she gets to me, it's I love watching girls pee. Then later I'm trying to get a job in a place with mostly female employees. And they wouldn't "feel safe" sharing an environment with me. Or what if I were trying to get into an industry where I might have to interact with children? That's a deal breaker there. Or imagine if I became a public figure for some unimaginable reason? Like maybe I ran over Bigfoot, and the footage went viral. Everyone knows me as the guy who was just trying to go to Taco Bell, then bam, I flattened Bigfoot. Then people are like "I bet if Bigfoot was a girl peeing in the road he would've stopped!" I wouldn't want all kinds of strangers knowing what gets me off. 

[Peenicks 853]

38 minutes ago, Takashi96 said:

I don't mind either. I undressed for money many years ago. 

I suspect there might be more and less acceptable variations of this fetish. For example, "I like being peed on" is probably more acceptable than "I want watch you pee."

And funny you should bring up job interviews. Because that's one of those things where if it got spread around maybe an insular community, could be damaging. I want a job at such and such business, but the woman doing the interview casually knows my vindictive ex. And maybe my ex likes to get drunk and complain to her friends, and anyone else who will listen about her exes. So when she gets to me, it's I love watching girls pee. Then later I'm trying to get a job in a place with mostly female employees. And they wouldn't "feel safe" sharing an environment with me. Or what if I were trying to get into an industry where I might have to interact with children? That's a deal breaker there. Or imagine if I became a public figure for some unimaginable reason? Like maybe I ran over Bigfoot, and the footage went viral. Everyone knows me as the guy who was just trying to go to Taco Bell, then bam, I flattened Bigfoot. Then people are like "I bet if Bigfoot was a girl peeing in the road he would've stopped!" I wouldn't want all kinds of strangers knowing what gets me off. 

I think you're correct in that sense, also a lot of it relies on presentation and timing. Also helps your chances if the person is aware of or also into some kinky stuff.

Fair point, although I think if your only sin was enjoying legal porn of a certain variety there wouldn't be grounds to bar you from interacting with women or children. There's a number of public figures who have been found out to have piss kinks and unless they committed some other kind of crime (hell, even after they've committed a crime) people have been, if not charitable, at least complacent in allowing them to continue getting work and having a life. I can definitely understand your concerns tho, people on and offline really need to understand that unless someone is causing/could cause harm or you're trying to date them, what they're into or do in the bedroom isn't anyone's business but their own.

Edited October 23, 2022 by Peenicks

[MidoriLemonade85 1,937]

I think there are a lot worse things in the world than a pee kink. It is not a violent thing. It is shared between consenting partners. It is a loving act. If people have issues with something, lets face it, you are born with (like a sexual identity, or a nationality) then really, it is their problem, not yours. And yes, I deeply believe we are born with this kink. It is who we are. If we try and hide it, it will try and emerge somehow, so why not get to know it, seeing as it is part of who we are. 
 

You have the power to choose who you share it with. I have an A4 list of kinks. I am not sharing all of them with the world. They are the building blocks of my sexuality and personality to use as I wish, safely on my own or with someone I love.

But yes, being outed by someone would be awful. I think you would have to deal with it as best you can at the time. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

In the meantime, you need to explore your boundaries and make your own guidelines as to what you share with others about yourself, and take calculated risks. In my younger years, I kept my bisexuality secret so as not to lose my job. Thesedays, ticking what your sexuality is, is part of job application forms, so that the workplace can accommodate you! Times change, attitudes change. Who knows what the future will hold. 
 

My biggest advice is….think less, worry less, enjoy life more, smile more, make friends with like minded people who understand and accept you. It will make you feel calmer and more positive. 
 

PeeFans is here for you if any shit does hit any fan. We got your back. Please just be yourself. There is a lot of love here. 💚

[gldenwetgoose 20,266]

If we take all of our enlightened selves out of the equation, and we instead think of the pool of people we interact with, and those we hope to have some 'adult' fun with, then I guess there are two general groups - 

- Those who consider pee as a gross, dirty and potentially harmful human waste product, and 

- Those who consider pee as just a natural bodily function that happens.  People need to wee, they wee and sometimes not in the toilet.

Now of course we can also group people into those who are open to relationships and those who aren't, those who would engage in adult fun being open minded and those who would be very vanilla.

But somewhere in the midst of all that it would be perfect to meet with someone who is open to fun, willing to try new things, understanding that just because someone is into something different it isn't automatically wrong - and if you find someone like that, then the test is how they feel about pee in general.  If they admit to and talk about pee, if they've ever peed by a car or behind a bush out of sheer need and aren't hung up about it - that doesn't mean they have our kink - but it does mean there's a good chance they would try and engage, try to understand and maybe even be willing to give it a try.

 Just my five minute theory - and good luck.

[Scot_Lover 1,788]

Both of us have had instances of this ‘non acceptance’ of our kink, if you want to call it that. 
 

M was married previously, her husband unexpectedly came home while she was having a little solo fun in her bath, wallowing in her pee, of course. He was not at all sympathetic to her needs, called her dirty and disgusting, basically packed and left the same day. He also took her 3 year old boy and told the relevant authorities that she was an unfit mother. Due to complications at birth, or some incompetent butchery, she was unable to have any more children.

My experience was a little different. My estranged sister, a born again Christian (she is obsessed, everything is ordained by god, nothing is accidental, it is all in the masters plan) came home from one of her work assignments with the W.H.O. I think is was an Ebola outbreak in the Congo, where she worked as a viral biologist. We were in a 3some relationship at the time and had a good night  previously, piss wet clothes littered the bathroom, when she burst in, the 3 of us were asleep.

Surprisingly, she was more outraged at the threesome living arrangements than the pee kink, she is one strange person.

 

[MidoriLemonade85 1,937]

11 hours ago, Scot_Lover said:

Both of us have had instances of this ‘non acceptance’ of our kink, if you want to call it that. 
 

M was married previously, her husband unexpectedly came home while she was having a little solo fun in her bath, wallowing in her pee, of course. He was not at all sympathetic to her needs, called her dirty and disgusting, basically packed and left the same day. He also took her 3 year old boy and told the relevant authorities that she was an unfit mother. Due to complications at birth, or some incompetent butchery, she was unable to have any more children.

My experience was a little different. My estranged sister, a born again Christian (she is obsessed, everything is ordained by god, nothing is accidental, it is all in the masters plan) came home from one of her work assignments with the W.H.O. I think is was an Ebola outbreak in the Congo, where she worked as a viral biologist. We were in a 3some relationship at the time and had a good night  previously, piss wet clothes littered the bathroom, when she burst in, the 3 of us were asleep.

Surprisingly, she was more outraged at the threesome living arrangements than the pee kink, she is one strange person.

 

Bloody hell, man! That’s some crazy judgemental people right there!! Glad you are here with us! 💚

[Takashi96 847]

I think I went a little off the rails when I was trying to ask the question. What I was really trying to get at was how does it feel to be so accepted and normalized here? The dichotomy between masking the fetish and celebrating it?

 

[Takashi96 847]

On 10/23/2022 at 6:36 AM, MidoriLemonade85 said:

I think there are a lot worse things in the world than a pee kink. It is not a violent thing. It is shared between consenting partners. It is a loving act. If people have issues with something, lets face it, you are born with (like a sexual identity, or a nationality) then really, it is their problem, not yours. And yes, I deeply believe we are born with this kink. It is who we are. If we try and hide it, it will try and emerge somehow, so why not get to know it, seeing as it is part of who we are. 
 

You have the power to choose who you share it with. I have an A4 list of kinks. I am not sharing all of them with the world. They are the building blocks of my sexuality and personality to use as I wish, safely on my own or with someone I love.

But yes, being outed by someone would be awful. I think you would have to deal with it as best you can at the time. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

In the meantime, you need to explore your boundaries and make your own guidelines as to what you share with others about yourself, and take calculated risks. In my younger years, I kept my bisexuality secret so as not to lose my job. Thesedays, ticking what your sexuality is, is part of job application forms, so that the workplace can accommodate you! Times change, attitudes change. Who knows what the future will hold. 
 

My biggest advice is….think less, worry less, enjoy life more, smile more, make friends with like minded people who understand and accept you. It will make you feel calmer and more positive. 
 

PeeFans is here for you if any shit does hit any fan. We got your back. Please just be yourself. There is a lot of love here. 💚

You get me. 

 

[Dr.P 1,458]

On 10/24/2022 at 3:20 AM, MidoriLemonade85 said:

Bloody hell, man! That’s some crazy judgemental people right there!! Glad you are here with us! 💚

Yes, and it's sometimes very difficult to distinguish the judgemental types from those who may be very tolerant of it, as I learned from experience. I may have posted this anecdote, previously, but it is very relevant to this discussion, so please bear with me.

I had a physically Platonic, but very close friendship with a girl who lived in my neighborhood, from the time we were in elementary school, through high school, but we talked about sex, very regularly. We hung out, as teenagers, and I would occasionally "stand guard" when she needed to pee, in empty public bathrooms, late at night. She would routinely talk with me, while she peed in a closed stall, with the main bathroom door open, telling me that the toilet seat was cold, etc.  I was careful to never mention my kink, to her.

When we were in our late teens, or early twenties, she initiated a discussion with me, about our long friendship, and our many sexual discussions. She asked me if there was anything I wanted to know about girls, and offered to answer any of my sexual questions. I believed her, since I had known her for such a long time, and felt very close to her. So I revealed my kink to her, saying I had always been curious about how girls peed, and found it a big turn-on. She responded with a torrent of abuse, saying she had not expected a question like that, but rather something like what turned girls on, etc. It took me a long time to calm her down, and we didn't talk for a few days. The friendship survived, but I never brought up the subject with her, again, and was extremely careful not to bring it up with other women, for a decade, or more. My resulting anxiety was so intense that I missed out on the signals that "Ellie," a g.f., in a later time, was probably sending me, when she peed with the bathroom door half-open, repeatedly, over a long relationship.

35 minutes ago, Takashi96 said:

The dichotomy between masking the fetish and celebrating it?

Yes. That has been a huge dichotomy, which has governed my life, much more than I expected.

[Takashi96 847]

22 minutes ago, Dr.P said:

Yes, and it's sometimes very difficult to distinguish the judgemental types from those who may be very tolerant of it, as I learned from experience. I may have posted this anecdote, previously, but it is very relevant to this discussion, so please bear with me.

I had a physically Platonic, but very close friendship with a girl who lived in my neighborhood, from the time we were in elementary school, through high school, but we talked about sex, very regularly. We hung out, as teenagers, and I would occasionally "stand guard" when she needed to pee, in empty public bathrooms, late at night. She would routinely talk with me, while she peed in a closed stall, with the main bathroom door open, telling me that the toilet seat was cold, etc.  I was careful to never mention my kink, to her.

When we were in our late teens, or early twenties, she initiated a discussion with me, about our long friendship, and our many sexual discussions. She asked me if there was anything I wanted to know about girls, and offered to answer any of my sexual questions. I believed her, since I had known her for such a long time, and felt very close to her. So I revealed my kink to her, saying I had always been curious about how girls peed, and found it a big turn-on. She responded with a torrent of abuse, saying she had not expected a question like that, but rather something like what turned girls on, etc. It took me a long time to calm her down, and we didn't talk for a few days. The friendship survived, but I never brought up the subject with her, again, and was extremely careful not to bring it up with other women, for a decade, or more. My resulting anxiety was so intense that I missed out on the signals that "Ellie," a g.f., in a later time, was probably sending me, when she peed with the bathroom door half-open, repeatedly, over a long relationship.

Yes. That has been a huge dichotomy, which has governed my life, much more than I expected.

God, that's horrible! And unsurprising after my own experiences with being kink shamed. It can be extremely difficult to determine who's going to turn on you. Because in my experiences they were friends I had been close with, and open with for years. With whom I'd exchanged many previous secrets in the past. One long time friend told me she was gay years before she was out, and I was the only male she trusted with knowing. Then, when I finally got the courage to divulge my fetish to her (after a decade of friendship) she cut ties with me. 

[Dr.P 1,458]

23 hours ago, Takashi96 said:

Then, when I finally got the courage to divulge my fetish to her (after a decade of friendship) she cut ties with me. 

That's terrible, even worse than my experience, since she ended the friendship! I am often stunned by the intensity and unpredictability of the reaction to our fetish, which has made me overly cautious, in many cases. "Ellie" was probably not the only one, for me.

[Takashi96 847]

22 minutes ago, Dr.P said:

That's terrible, even worse than my experience, since she ended the friendship! I am often stunned by the intensity and unpredictability of the reaction to our fetish, which has made me overly cautious, in many cases. "Ellie" was probably not the only one, for me.

Yeah, it sucked. And she did it in a passive way. Like stopped telling me when she was in town, stopped responding to texts, etc.

Edited October 27, 2022 by Takashi96
Spacing

[Dr.P 1,458]

On 10/23/2022 at 9:22 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

If we take all of our enlightened selves out of the equation, and we instead think of the pool of people we interact with, and those we hope to have some 'adult' fun with, then I guess there are two general groups - 

- Those who consider pee as a gross, dirty and potentially harmful human waste product, and 

- Those who consider pee as just a natural bodily function that happens.  People need to wee, they wee and sometimes not in the toilet.

Now of course we can also group people into those who are open to relationships and those who aren't, those who would engage in adult fun being open minded and those who would be very vanilla.

I agree, in general, with your categories and analysis. But I believe there are two subsets to the "natural bodily function" group, one, which finds this bodily function potentially sexy and exciting, and another which finds it mundane and boring, with little or no erotic potential. I think the latter subset may have been significant in the 1970's and 1980's, in the States, with the "back to nature" philosophy, which questioned the erotic appeal of something that was just a natural bodily function: "She just had to go to the bathroom! How can you find that sexy?" This sentiment could then be used to shame those who found peeing natural, but still very erotic. A complicated situation. Your thoughts?