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Bless you @steve25805 - There's an incredible number of people who can relate to exactly what you're saying. Myself included at certain times in my life.

You're absolutely correct in that the stats of your posts and content generated are phenomenal.   In what I'm about to say, I say it with friendship and love. With care for you as a friend.  But there is a chance it may come across as wrong - and if it does please message me and we'll try and discuss more in a private chat:

 

My thought is perhaps to try a little experiment.  You may already feel you're doing this, you may want to kick me in the balls. That's your prerogative.  My suggestion is for perhaps one week, maybe two - to not post a single photo.  Not add to any posts of pee pictures.  But instead though use the same time on the site that you'd devote to those posts to instead read and enjoy posts across the site. Although you may not want to, try to engage in commenting and interacting with posts.  Tell people how much you enjoyed reading their post, or just give a reaction.   Maybe post some more of your own past experiences?

I have a fear that people are not appreciating the number of images you post, so they're not providing any feedback and, let's face it we all have the need to feel appreciated.

As I say, feel free to tell me to butt out - but it may be worth a try.

 

Irrespective though - we do care for you and value you here @steve25805

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34 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Bless you @steve25805 - There's an incredible number of people who can relate to exactly what you're saying. Myself included at certain times in my life.

You're absolutely correct in that the stats of your posts and content generated are phenomenal.   In what I'm about to say, I say it with friendship and love. With care for you as a friend.  But there is a chance it may come across as wrong - and if it does please message me and we'll try and discuss more in a private chat:

 

My thought is perhaps to try a little experiment.  You may already feel you're doing this, you may want to kick me in the balls. That's your prerogative.  My suggestion is for perhaps one week, maybe two - to not post a single photo.  Not add to any posts of pee pictures.  But instead though use the same time on the site that you'd devote to those posts to instead read and enjoy posts across the site. Although you may not want to, try to engage in commenting and interacting with posts.  Tell people how much you enjoyed reading their post, or just give a reaction.   Maybe post some more of your own past experiences?

I have a fear that people are not appreciating the number of images you post, so they're not providing any feedback and, let's face it we all have the need to feel appreciated.

As I say, feel free to tell me to butt out - but it may be worth a try.

 

Irrespective though - we do care for you and value you here @steve25805

Thanks, I have considered taking a break from the site for a week or so but I tend to feel in different ways on different days so not sure a full on break is a goer.

I do take on board your suggestion that I not post any pics for a week and just try interacting instead. But I don't actually spend that much time posting pics, believe it or not. Apart from the one or two every day or two in my calendar thread, the ones I posted today are the first I have posted for a week. Most of my time is spent finding and collecting them which I mostly do off site away from here. The posting pics here part is a small part of the overall effort which I do for pleasure. Most of the effort does not involve this forum at all.

So the lack of interaction here from me is not really down to me spending all my time here on pics, but more to a lack of social confidence and decline in general interest which the pics have little bearing on.. I rarely want to chat anymore and don't feel hugely comfortable interacting socially, certainly not in any kind of flirtatious way. I also work long hours with typically just one day off a week. If I didn't bother with the pics I'd probably not post at all here for days on end.

But my down cycles do come and go so I do not always feel this way.

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Steve - your contributions to the site speak for themselves, but I do hear you. In fact, I have been going through a few weeks of worry about my engagement too (and having the 'outsider looking in' feeling) - though perhaps coming from a different starting place. I think there's a big element of waxing and waning of interest for me - and maybe for you too. I know exactly what you mean about the anxiety you feel when commenting on posts in what could be considered a flirtatious way: it's not easy, especially perhaps for us men of a certain age with the experience and background we have. It can sometimes feel as though I have so little in common with some of the younger people posting on the site - and add in the international aspect and the impossibility of picking up on body language cues, and it's difficult to be sure you're doing the right thing.

But the community is real and as Goose says - there are many, many people here who care for you.

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2 hours ago, Kupar said:

I know exactly what you mean about the anxiety you feel when commenting on posts in what could be considered a flirtatious way: it's not easy, especially perhaps for us men of a certain age with the experience and background we have......and add in the international aspect and the impossibility of picking up on body language cues, and it's difficult to be sure you're doing the right thing.

I know. I have a lot of angst about how I am coming across if I ever express approval of anything sexual. Without any kind of response I have no idea if I am being perceived as a bit of a creep or if my response is enjoyed or appreciated or liked. If I ever make a comment that gets no reaction I tend to assume the worse and get paranoid.

But just having a bad day, that's all. In spite of which I have been trying to get involved in commenting on posts and suchlike.

 

Edited by steve25805
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If the first rule of fight club is don't talk about fight club,  then I think the first way to be non-creepy is exactly as you've done here Steve - and reflected on how your comments come across.

Maybe the recipients of the comments are too busy dealing with all the REALLY creepy comments they're getting from people far less of a gentleman than you.

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15 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

If the first rule of fight club is don't talk about fight club,  then I think the first way to be non-creepy is exactly as you've done here Steve - and reflected on how your comments come across.

Maybe the recipients of the comments are too busy dealing with all the REALLY creepy comments they're getting from people far less of a gentleman than you.

Spot on Goose. Steve, you're a great guy with the right instincts. Your humanity shines through.

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On 9/1/2022 at 4:51 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

If the first rule of fight club is don't talk about fight club,  then I think the first way to be non-creepy is exactly as you've done here Steve - and reflected on how your comments come across.

Maybe the recipients of the comments are too busy dealing with all the REALLY creepy comments they're getting from people far less of a gentleman than you.

Goose, you always know exactly what to say. Unfortunately, there are people who are genuinely creepy, who make the world a tougher place to be in for legitimate gentlemen. Luckily, I haven’t experienced too much of that here. I feel safer here than on Facebook or Instagram. I feel very looked after here. 💚

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On 9/1/2022 at 1:32 AM, Kupar said:

Steve - your contributions to the site speak for themselves, but I do hear you. In fact, I have been going through a few weeks of worry about my engagement too (and having the 'outsider looking in' feeling) - though perhaps coming from a different starting place. I think there's a big element of waxing and waning of interest for me - and maybe for you too. I know exactly what you mean about the anxiety you feel when commenting on posts in what could be considered a flirtatious way: it's not easy, especially perhaps for us men of a certain age with the experience and background we have. It can sometimes feel as though I have so little in common with some of the younger people posting on the site - and add in the international aspect and the impossibility of picking up on body language cues, and it's difficult to be sure you're doing the right thing.

But the community is real and as Goose says - there are many, many people here who care for you.

I think the key is that everyone has something different to contribute, and it is all valued. Some people may dislike what you do, some people may absolutely love it. You can’t please everyone, but if you focus on what it is that you uniquely do, and get good at it and confident with it, you will attract more appreciation naturally, I reckon. You, Kupar, focus on being your genuine, authentic self, and you are lucky to be in a beautiful part of the world, you have an amazing body, and a gorgeous cock, and you have built up your skills to make really lovely videos. You bring your calm, positive, gentlemanly conversation to this forum, and we collectively love you for what you give us.  It can be difficult to converse, and there may be occasional misunderstandings with age differences, or cultural or terminology differences. But I think the rule should be if a conversation is not going well, just politely move on to something that you know will work better. Being in my 40s, I prefer the company of older people for their maturity, wisdom, knowledge and good taste in music! I think PeeFans is one of the most caring places I have experienced on the internet, and I am so glad to be surrounded by lovely, thoughtful, intelligent gentlemen here. As I mentioned to Goose, I feel very looked after and safe here, and I am sure the others do too. I think if people get offended here, they are likely to get offended everywhere they go. So it is more to do with them, then you. 💚

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  • 1 year later...

Don't worry, Steve.

Set priorities, get your shit together.

If you are able to reconnect, do so.
If not, it's fine, too.

No one has a right to judge how someone else lives their life.

I have gone through similar struggles.
And I did not even had the decency to explain myself - I just... disappeared.
So... you are already way ahead of people like me. 😉


Here is an old German Song text I'd like to quote (and I am not going to translate because 1. google will do it better then I and 2. I know you know a little German. ;()
"Und sehen wir uns nicht in dieser Welt, dann sehen wir uns in Bielefeld."

 

o7

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