Eliminature

When you see people - usually females - peeing in potentially dangerous or life threatening situations. For example peeing on railway lines or dangling her bottom over a precipice. 

It's just not right! 

You know, I think that might be the first time I've mentioned my parents on this forum. 🤔

They do exist, I just don't tend to discuss them on here. 

13 hours ago, Takashi96 said:

I suppose your voice/my head voice is sort of...Well, it's more to do with clear pronunciation. Like I can't hear you saying "innit" or something like that. It's a bit Cate Blanchet, I suppose. And see, now I'm doing it again! I just wrote that in the accent of a London School of Economics drop-out turned aspiring blues musician. 

 

LSE dropout turned blues musician? Are you talking about Jagger? *fans self* 😉 Though I don't think he was a dropout, actually. 

No, I'd never say "innit." My dad was quite strict with me with regards to what are known as glottal stops. I was never allowed to drop my Ts, and I never have. Conversely, whenever he and my mum ever visit Mr E and I (we live in different counties), I am forever correcting my dad's strong, Northern dialect way of speaking! For example, the Northern way of dropping the word "the" before a noun. The conversation could go like "Where can I park t'car?" Or "What time's t'restaurant booked for?" I, in a mock irritated voice, reply "We don't speak like that here!" 

But I'm doing it as a joke, not to be horrible. And my dad knows this! 😉 Difficult to get across on an internet forum. 

Having seen your stream in the Men Peeing section, I can attest that it's more like a powerful, accurately aimed public fountain than a broken sprinkler! 😉

I wish I'd been a fly on the wall when that conversation was taking place - or the customer.

I love peeing into other people's puddles, but I only want to stand. 

Oh boy! We'll miss you, darling. Hope the situation improves for you as soon as possible. Look forward to your return. xx 😘

Interestingly, many British women use the word "pants" to describe female underwear, just as they would with male underwear. I do get this; it's supposed to be a unisex, catch all term without sexual connotations. However, I just can't bring myself to call women's underwear "pants." It feels too much the opposite way - unsexy and mildly nauseating. I'm fine with the word "knickers," though. 

I tend to refer to underwear by style rather than dividing it into male/female garments. Boxers, briefs, French cut, g string, bloomies* etc. 

*bloomers are rarely worn nowadays, but I remember my late grandma referring to them when I was a child. 

21 hours ago, Alfresco said:

BTW, you say you regret deleting the pics.  Have you checked to see if you have a deleted items folder?   e.g. all iPhones by default don't actually delete photos but move them into deleted items and only permanently delete them after 30 days.  That gives you time to realise your mistake and restore them if you want to do so.

Sadly not, Alfresco. We don't have iPhones. Just basic smartphones - quite old ones, too. We tend to keep our technology until it dies. Both to save money and because it's better for the environment. 

Rest assured, we'll try to get more photos this coming weekend. We did consider it last night, but frankly neither of us felt like standing outside in an electrical storm. 🌩

19 hours ago, Kupar said:

If it's good enough for Suzi Quatro ...

And Jim Morrison.

5 hours ago, Takashi96 said:

I read your posts in a very specific, borderline posh (a word rarely used in the States), English accent. This doesn't apply to everyone on the forum. But the users who I've come across the most all have their own distinct accents and voices in my head. I'm trying to recast one of them because I mistook him for American early on. And why should it matter? Because apparently my goddamn head ain't right. 

"Dou I SOUUNND like Katherine Hepburn, Daaaahling??" 😉

I speak nothing like that in real life, though. I grew up in the North of England but I've lived in various towns/cities the Midlands all my adult life. There's little trace of my Northern accent or dialect now. 

If you enjoyed it, then that's great! I'm very glad for you. 🙂👍🏻

Not just on this forum, I have a lot of American friends who I talk to online. British English is obviously what comes naturally to me, but I find when I'm speaking directly to an American friend, I will often use American terms to avoid confusion. It probably sounds  jarring coming from me, though! I've been told that you can't help but read my posts in an English accent. 😆

Most British women I have heard talk about it really don't care for the word "panties" to refer to women's underwear. They say it sounds both over sexualised and infantilising; which to adult women, is very off putting. The term doesn't bother me, you understand. Indeed, I've used it myself. Mainly because I understand that it gives men hard ons at the very mention of the word! However, I am mindful that most women don't like it and as such, I try to be sparing with the use of that word. 

I will sound very nasty and unpleasant if I share my views on what I think of this, so I will say nothing.

Good to hear that Mrs Kupar is getting better with peeing upright! 👍🏻 Very pleased to hear! 

Germphobia didn't exist before the discovery of microbes, but the irrational fear of poisoning was common right into ancient times. Maybe that was the "germphobia" of its time? 

Fear that there was poison in your food or drink, in your clothing (especially your gloves), in the pages of letters, in the wax of candles and even in playing cards are all recorded. Just how effective poisoned paper or playing cards would be is debatable, of course. However, the phobia was still there. 

I'm a woman in my 30s myself. 🤷‍♀️ Perhaps I'm too old for you, in that case. 😄 Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy it. Though I wouldn't call that particular fantasy dirty.

I'd love to aim your large, beautiful manhood whilst you relieved your full bladder - maybe write a few Swedish words in the sand. After your bladder was empty and I had gently squeezed and shaken it, I could suck it clean and bring your other fluid out of there. Shoot off into my mouth and I'll swallow it all down. I like to keep the cock inside my mouth until he is no longer hard - just to be sure I haven't lost any of the fluid. I'm told this is a pleasurable experience. 

Next, you could part my labia and gently pull my lady garden upwards so I can pee too - you can watch from over my shoulder as my sparkling stream arcs from my loins into the sand and forms a foaming puddle. If I lie on my back with my legs spread, you can speak your beautiful Scandinavian language between my thighs. Swedish is not one of the languages I know, but I'm certain that I'll understand you. 

Helping each other pee, pleasuring each other with our tongues - nothing dirty about that. 

Don't worry Bacardi, I won't steal him from you. I'm quite happy to share - and speak in a British accent between your legs, if you have no objection to being pleasured by another woman. 

For the record, it shouldn't. A condom has to hold forty litres of air before it is sold to the public. Condoms undergo a lot of tests before they meet regulations to go on sale. 

They get bad press because they come already unrolled and looking enormous, but both Mr E and I prefer female condoms. They're made of polyurethane, so okay for those with latex allergies. The lower area covers the vulva and the outer ring massages the clitoris during sex - which increases the chance of an orgasm during actual intercourse, rather than just during foreplay. They're also the only female controlled contraceptive device available without a prescription. Mr E reports that the larger width and depth of a female condom also allows him to climax more intensely because he isn't constrained by the latex sheath - it feels a lot more like wearing nothing than wearing a rubber. 

It's a sink, as far as I'm aware. 

13 hours ago, Hidengo said:

I can also tell you that public urination is more of a norm in Jamaica, especially in more rural areas. Aside from some buildings that make it known that they would rather you not pee on them, usually with a sign, I’ve never seen any legal action taken against it.

West Indian men pissing freely sounds veey erotic indeed. That is a very sexy image. 

6 hours ago, Ms. Tito said:

Kidney stones from drinking mostly soda 

Oh. Not good. Try to stay hydrated if you can. Kidney stones are no fun.