I totally get where you’re coming from as my fiancee really struggles to understand the kink. Thankfully she’s a lot more open minded about it and she will pee on me sometimes in the shower and allow me to watch and record her if she ever has to pee outdoors, but it is rare and since she doesn’t understand it I often have to remind her about it for her to do anything for me. And I always feel guilty because she always seems a bit annoyed about it. I appreciate what she does for me and that she tries her best not to kink shame but I often end up seeking additional gratification online.