We all have one thing in common but how important is it to you?

[Pete2304 36]

So, over the last few months I have clung onto a marriage that I knew was slipping away. We have been living apart for a while and finally, yesterday, she rang with the gut wrenching conversation I had been dreading and she has fallen head over heels for someone else.

I'm not looking for sympathy comments, just that I've figured that at some point, when it stops hurting as much, I will maybe want to meet someone new. That got me wondering just how much people here have valued someone new enjoying wetting etc when thinking about a relationship with a new partner.

I was with my wife for 7 years and it was never really her thing. I still fancied her like mad but I couldn't help trying on a fair few occasions to introduce peeing to our sex life but without much success.

Personally, I think that whilst it wouldn't be vital, if and when I do eventually meet someone new, I would probably put her enjoying peeing and wetting pretty high on the list because I always felt like that little bit of excitement was missing so I just wondered how others felt when they have either thought about or gotten into a new relationship?

Top of the list for me is always a decent, genuine person with a sense of humour but when it comes to the physical side, I'm pretty sure I would want that to be a part of things, if one day I meet someone else.

[P_lovinguy 1,318]

I can relate where you're coming from Pete; slightly different reason for me though. Sadly, I lost my wife to ovarian cancer three years ago. Although she wasn't "really" into it, she would indulge me and we'd play so as to keep the spice going between us until she got very sick.

I'm finally getting the want to be with someone again after mourning her these many years. So when I do eventually get to meet & be with someone again, THIS WILL NOT BE the deciding factor for me. I want to get to genuinely know her on a personal level; find out what makes her laugh, what makes her sad, what her family is like all the while as she's doing the same with me. Then as we become comfortable with each other, longing for each other's embrace, wanting to be together we'll open up more & more. When we then get intimate and share our fantasies & experiences, that's when I will let that cat out of the bag, as they say but, as I'm doing here, I will stress that it's not the end-all/be-all of things. That's the time she'll either run with it or run away.

[Pete2304 36]

Absolutely it isn't make or break. Before I met my wife I had a couple month long relationship with a girl who absolutely loved wetting etc etc but that was about the only attraction and that's certainly not enough long term and I split up with her but I'm guessing most people here have at some point bitten the bullet and brought up the idea probably with some good and no doubt some horribly awkward responses!

It's going to be a long time before I can even think about trying a new relationship and first and foremost I would simply want someone nice in my life but in the back of your mind you maybe always know that you are going to be more turned on in the bedroom if they enjoy this side of things.

Finally, I will say that whilst I'm sat here feeling utterly broken, I could never have any idea of how awful that time must have been for you and no doubt still is and I wish you all the best mate.

[Alfresco 11,639]

Hi Pete, sorry to hear of your break up.

I have been married for 19 years. For quite a lot of those years, I didn't even let on to my wife about how much peeing did for me - She was so special to me and I didn't want to do anything that might mess that up. However, I then did tell her and although she is not really into it, she does indulge me a little from time to time. I'd really love it if she would pee outside as a matter of course, but that is not going to happen. She pees outside very rarely, but if she does, then she is happy for me to watch.

I believe our relationship is about far more than just peeing. Whilst it is a fascination for me and I do wish for more than I get, I enjoy what is offered and I respect the fact that she doesn't want to go further. I wouldn't ever let it get in the way of our relationship and I hope our relationship will continue for a long time.

However, if I were ever in that position of trying to find another person, I don't know what I'd do. I think I would still go mainly for the personality and someone who would be a good life companion rather than worrying unduly about sexual desires. After all, most couples spend far more time doing "ordinary" things than being in sexual activities. However, I think before committing too far I would at least broach the subject and check that she wasn't totally against it. Very difficult to say, having not been there though.

[Guest UnabashedUser]

Amor vincit omnia: Love conquers all. Most lovers will try new kinky things if you approach it gently and with love. Good luck mate I can identify with you.

[P-Spud 1,352]

My condolences gentlemen. Hope you recover quickly.

I agree. It would be an important factor but not -the- most important one.

[Pete2304 36]

Thanks for the nice words people. As I say it will be a bloody long time before I even consider meeting anyone else, as pathetic as t sounds, right now I think just need someone to give me a hug!

People have mentioned peeling Cupid on here in the past and during a seperation in my marriage which lasted 6 months I did have a look around there but firstly my heart wasn't in it and secondly, there was nobody on there who seemed to be decent and nice and worth meeting.

It's quite warming in a way (don't!) that the responses pretty much cover how I feel about how much of a priority it is but I also knew we would all to one degree or another have considered it at some point.

Plus, as I'm sure most of you gathered, it was the middle of the night when I posted that and starting a conversation on here was about all I could think of to provide a brief distraction from thinking about things.

Don't know many people really here but have been posting for maybe six months or so and nice to see that vast majority are a decent, genuine bunch.

[Scot_Lover 1,878]

I've been in this relationship 10 years now, and the hypothetical question has been mentioned a few times, how would we feel if the pee fun just stopped, didn't want to do it anymore? Pretty much all 3 of us said it was not much of an issue, we still have each other. We feel that we've done everything we could ever imagine, and those times would be with us forever. Thankfully, it was only ever talked over, and again, we all agreed that we couldn't just stop, we love it and what it does for us too much.

Would I do it again if we broke up? No, I don't think so, too many fantastic memories, I would rather remember the good things even though it was lost.

Maigh indicated that she would probably keep it secret again, for the same reasons. Mary is kind of middle ground, if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't. All of us can't bear thinking about ending anything at this time.

All of us are sorry for your break up, thinking of you.

[Pete2304 36]

Again Thank you as well, I'm starting to come to the conclusion that like me, there are quite a few people on here who have had their hearts broken and whilst some people can pick themselves up instantly, from the replies it's clear I'm not alone in not being thick skinned enough to do that.

It's been a clean sweep as regards to every reply being that of putting what I would feel are the first and truly important things you should look for in a new partner at the top of their list.

So, all I need to do now, is somehow get over an utterly broken heart, meet a nice, kind, faithful Kelly Brook lookalike who just so happens to keep wetting herself! Not much to ask for is it?!

Genuinely though, thanks all

[Pete2304 36]

I went to meet her and her little boy today (who came into the world as a result of an affair she had six years ago but who I have always loved as if he was my own) for what will probably be the last time. We met at the pub and had a last drink together and then on the way out I had to hear from the little man that they were off to meet the family of a man that I've only just found out existed to celebrate his birthday. Two weeks ago she promised me that whilst someone had shown an interest in her, she just wanted to take some time on her own. Needless to say, this latest bit has left me without a single bit of fight in me.

MPT's post another following the trend. Looks like on the whole, majority here have more in common than just the reason we ended up chatting on here in the first place.

[Pete2304 36]

Oh, I should add...car blew head gasket 50 yards after I set off back. Known it hasn't been quite right since yesterday but had no idea that was about to happen. I'm counting down the clock till midnight because I've bloody well had enough of today!! Fully expecting a plane to drop out of the sky and land on my house at some stage in the next 15 minutes!

[Lilipee 673]

Pete, even though I know it doesn't help right now, we've all been there. I wish you peace and acceptance. Try to believe that everything happens for a reason and you're set up for something better.

[steve25805 126,156]

When I was young and still deeply insecure about my fetish - there was no internet around then to help - I learned to compartmentalise, separating feelings of love and romance from my interest in peeing. I was totally in the closet about the latter, too ashamed to admit it to anyone, and to some extent even trying to deny it to myself.

So when I had feelings for a girl, pee never really entered the equation. I could enjoy being close to her, cuddling her, hugging her, holding hands, all the little intimacies, without even consciously wanting pee. Pee seemed too sordid to bring into something so beautiful.

Problem was, when it came to sex I always felt pretty unfulfilled by it because I cannot really get off easily without some aspect of pee involved. To get off at all involved thinking about pee during sexual activity, which often made me feel guilty afterwards. Because of the absence of pee, I usually became increasingly disinterested in sex - I could basically take it or leave it and saw it as nothing special - and this could lead to problems in terms of maintaining an intimate relationship with someone.

Consequently, I've gotten into very few relationships of any kind in my life, and such as there have been haven't really lasted. I have learned to enjoy my own company more than anyone else's.

Now of course I realise what was missing - the pee element is essential to my sex life but was always absent. To maintain a romantic relationship, sexual rapport is necessary. For that to exist for me requires pee play being a part of our sexual activities. Since coming out on forums like this I have learned not to be ashamed anymore, which has enabled me to re-integrate love and my sexual interest in pee. It is no longer impossible for me to envisage a romantic situation which includes pee fun. But for that, I need a partner who is interested in pee too. I cannot pretend that love and pee are entirely separate for me anymore. That doesn't work for me. If I am ever to have an intimate relationship that works, peeing has to be part of the sexual experience for me.

Though to be fair, I have now reached an age where as a long term single, I think I'd be far happier with close friends with benefits type scenarios rather than a full on romance. I have grown to like my own space and being alone under my own roof too much.

[Pete2304 36]

Firstly lili Thankyou and again thank you to everyone else again. I was in dire need to just unload everything I felt tonight and whilst I can assure you all I would never do anything silly or harm myself, I phoned the Samaritans. The lady I spoke to ended up in tears and said that she had never heard anything like what has happened over the last ten years for me. However I am going to stop talking about it but genuinely thanks all.

Steve, I understand where you are coming from. How important it is to different people I suppose is always going to differ but I do know what you mean that it is the one thing that really does it for you. As my ramblings about the situation I'm in have gone on through this thread it's obvious you all I'm broken but that's from a relationship that only very, very rarely involved the slightest hint of pee play. Had it done and we were still together, I dont think I would have ever ended up here and that's probably the same for quite a few members who are still in long term happy relationships. Guilty secret I suppose.

Edited August 22, 2016 by Guest

[Adyguy6970 878]

Hi Pete. I've only just spotted this thread so apologies for not responding earlier. First and foremost I would like to offer my sincere sympathies on the break up of your marriage. It can't be easy, particularly as you'd worked so hard to make it work. My advice for what it's worth (and that's not much) is to keep the split as amicable as you can and try to remember the good, positive, things that you can about your years of marriage. Also don't rush headlong into another relationship. When a relationship ends it's like a bereavement in many respects and you need to allow yourself time to grieve properly for it and come to terms with the new situation. At the same time try to keep your circle of friends and your interests as broad as possible. Hopefully in due course you will meet someone lovely who's the right person for you. As to whether pee plays a part in that I'd keep an open mind. If the person in question shares your interest that's fine but a good loving relationship with someone who is trustworthy and reliable - and makes you feel alive - is infinitely more important than someone who shares your fetish. I'm currently in a relationship with a lovely lady who knows about my interest and respects the reasons which lie behind it, but doesn't share it. Even though that's the case I wouldn't willingly swap her for the world. If you want to chat privately please don't hesitate to get in touch.