Realizing you were gay or bisexual, how did you handle it?

[Mary Moon 1,980]

I became aware of it this year when i got together with my girlfriend, but i've had the suspicion for a few years. Often in the locker rooms and bathrooms i happened to look at other naked girls and have feelings, even if i didn't understand it was attraction. Obviously you go through the phase where you think you're wrong and you try to repress it by forcing yourself to only like guys. I was already in a mess, because of my urinary incontinence, and because of my psychological problems, and this was another piece of the puzzle. In short, everything remained buried, until i selected on Tinder to be able to receive matches from women too. I received one from a girl, from the photos she seemed really cute and we also had common interests, so we wanted to set up a meeting, i wasn't expecting anything. Instead, the spark was ignited and there was a lot of chemistry and we started dating, then came the first kiss and sex. And without realizing it i was in love. So much so that one day I completely opened up, telling her my secret, that I was partially incontinent and had to sleep in diapers and sometimes wear them during the day, she said that it didn't matter and that she wouldn't love me less for it and that I was brave to talk about it. Then there was the revelation of this relationship of mine to my family and friends, fortunately i didn't have the negative reactions that i feared from family and friends. Has anyone else found themselves in a similar situation? How did you handle it?

[vivi54 319]

I started identifying as bi only quite recently, but kinda like with you, I've always known on some level. So for me at least it feels like shockingly little has actually changed 🤷‍♀️

[Mary Moon 1,980]

29 minutes ago, vivi54 said:

I started identifying as bi only quite recently, but kinda like with you, I've always known on some level. So for me at least it feels like shockingly little has actually changed 🤷‍♀️

It wasn't easy at all, in the school in the showers, looking at the other girls and getting emotional, it made me feel a little wrong. I really felt in internal conflict. Even when I got together with my girlfriend i was terrified of the judgments, I even feared that my parents would go crazy and kick me out of the house. Instead, thank goodness everything went well.

[Kiwi Watcher 16]

No experience personally, but I have two cousins (male and female) who are gay. When Hannah came out, most of us knew she was anyway so it wasn't a surprise. Steve, on the other hand, was a total surprise because he had girlfriends in the past. His mum (my Aunt) wasn't accepting at first and he almost cut ties with her over it. She has come around now and he and his partner travel over to NZ for Christmas from Australia every couple of years or so to visit 

[chubbyjack 295]

I had one week-long "hook up" with my male cousin.  It was a one time thing.  We were both the same age 18.

  Up until I was in my 50s it was females all the way.  In my 50s I put on a lot of weight. I figured no one was interested in a fat guy.  I used to visit adult stores with theater rooms.  Several couches and big screen tvs with porn.  I went to jerk off comfortably which was Hard at home with wife and kids.

   These places are filled with guys either jerking alone or paired up JO. BJ fucking.

   One day I was stretched out on a couch. Shirt above my head and pants at my ankles.  One guy walked over staring at me. It was hot being watched then he started to get closer and I nodded yes.

I was so aroused. I had been edging over an hour.  He caressed my belly .sucked my nipples. Rubbed my thighs and eventually gave me one of the best hand jobs ever.  I always had a small towel as a cum rag which he needed . His hand was covered in jizz

   We swapped e mails and we would meet there or sometimes in a motel.  He then explained about chasers. I connected with a few via Craig'slist adds until they I stopped personals.

  Sadly he died earlier this year and i have had health issues on and off since 2017 so i no longer hook up but i do chat and cam with chasers.  There are a few sites deadicated to chaser and chubs. I am considered a superchub at 350 and in demand. I never would have guessed. 

 

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Edited September 29 by chubbyjack
Typos

[kinda_gay_kinda_horny 19]

Took me about a year after I kinda found out, to be OK with myself. I was lucky in that no one near me was homophobic. It just took about a year to finally get it in my head that I am bi and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. (Besides men are hot as fuck, why fight it, lol)

 

Edit: I go by gay and horny but I am bi just like men/nb way more than women

Edited September 29 by kinda_gay_kinda_horny

[chubbyjack 295]

18 minutes ago, kinda_gay_kinda_horny said:

Took me about a year after I kinda found out, to be OK with myself. I was lucky in that no one near me was homophobic. It just took about a year to finally get it in my head that I am bi and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. (Besides men are hot as fuck, why fight it, lol)

 

Edit: I go by gay and horny but I am bi just like men/nb way more than women

Have you ever had both at the same time.  

[numberten 1,316]

I was aware that seeing men (the less clothed the better . . . especially if they were sweaty, muscular, and had body hair) gave me a special feeling that didn't happen with women by the time I was no more than three years old.  I didn't learn about sex and sexual orientation until a lot later, but basically there was never any doubt about who I preferred.

[LovesToWet 3,803]

Not sure where I stand on this as I don't find other men physical attractive and I do not have any interest in kissing, hugging or any other emotions with another man but I have found myself more and more turned on by the thought of playing with and sucking another man, especially in an MMF way. I also enjoy seeing men wet themselves and I like seeing a hard cock pissing. All that alone took a little getting used too especially as I'm a married

[kinda_gay_kinda_horny 19]

On 9/29/2024 at 4:33 PM, chubbyjack said:

Have you ever had both at the same time.  

I haven't, actually I've never 'been' with a woman

[robkat57 4]

As I sat down at my computer, scrolling through the endless options on my favourite online gay porn site allgaypornsites.com, I never expected that my curiosity would lead me to a groundbreaking realization about my own sexuality. At first, I simply found myself drawn to the attractiveness and charisma of the performers, regardless of their gender. But as I continued to explore, I realized that my attraction was not limited to one gender. It was a powerful and liberating moment for me as I understood that my feelings aligned with being bisexual. This newfound self-awareness has brought me closer to accepting and loving myself fully, and has opened up a whole new world of connections and relationships that I had never before considered. While it may have been an unexpected path to self-discovery, I am grateful for the journey and the opportunity to embrace my true self.

[goldmund50 108]

I'm almost 74 and it's been only the last few years that I've allowed myself to relax into bisexuality. I don't have in the flesh encounters  but I have and continue to find excellent erotic fellowship with men  online in places like this....and I have a real thing for Sissies. 

[on the porch 718]

Ruth here . 

After looking at the girl photos here , Yes it did excite me and I did want to try it but after thinking , I desided to not go through with it .  I,didn't want my self to go down that path . It is just my upbringing that held me back .Old teachings die hard 

[chubbyjack 295]

31 minutes ago, on the porch said:

Ruth here . 

After looking at the girl photos here , Yes it did excite me and I did want to try it but after thinking , I desided to not go through with it .  I,didn't want my self to go down that path . It is just my upbringing that held me back .Old teachings die hard 

That's cool.  Maybe one day it may happen spontaneously with a friend .

[cantholdit 12]

I first discovered porn when I was 11 along with my brother and his best friend. It's not like we jacked off together, it was just watching. Of course it was straight stuff, but my attention seemed to always drift to the men. The years following I tried to fight it and keep going for the women, and at least maybe see myself as bi. But it was when I got my first bf at 16 and explained it to him that I just accepted that I'm gay. It probably didn't help that he was a bit misogynist.

My mom wasn't convinced before I was 18, my sister had the typical "oh now we can look at boys together and go shopping!" (btw I hate shopping for the sake of shopping and I'm not your pet) and my brother and his bestie were like "LOL! You turned out to be gay!" in a teasing fashion. And my dad didn't care.

But I remained in the closet at high school until shortly before graduating from it. They all reacted in a nice way so that was cool.

However, about high school: some guys already detected it on me despite me not being effeminate, just skinny (back then), and that was during the period that I didn't accept it yet, so it did trouble me a bit and caused some bullying as well. I remember some openly gay guy grabbing me by the groin on the playground up to a few times, out of the blue, and I didn't know how to react so I just said to bugger off and I went somewhere else.
Another instance is a guy next to me while changing for PE, who said "jack off!", with me not understanding why he said that and I didn't ask.

And the last one is most applicable to this forum but less to this topic: there was one gay guy with blonde curly hair who openly described how pissing his shorts would be so hot with the warm stream in particular. This level of openness is still mind-blowing to me to this day 🤯. I never met him after finishing high school ever again since I wasn't open on time for that. Such openness might reveal too much to others.

Edited November 17 by cantholdit

[chubbyjack 295]

When was the first physical contact with another male on a sexual level?

Had you ever had sex or foreplay with a female prior to your decision. 

[cantholdit 12]

1 hour ago, chubbyjack said:

When was the first physical contact with another male on a sexual level?

Had you ever had sex or foreplay with a female prior to your decision. 

The first physical contact was with the first boyfriend. So I guess that was innocent.

The furthest I went with a woman was kissing a friend at a party (both drunk). It didn't do squat for me, and I never found women sexually arousing. They can definitely be beautiful, and I have seen one or some fully naked live. I will never say that they are hot, because that's for someone more "qualified" to judge. When someone tells me a woman is hot, I look logically at some elements and see "ah, yes, she portrays those elements, therefore she must be hot".

[chubbyjack 295]

1 minute ago, cantholdit said:

The first physical contact was with the first boyfriend. So I guess that was innocent.

The furthest I went with a woman was kissing a friend at a party (both drunk). It didn't do squat for me, and I never found women sexually arousing. They can definitely be beautiful, and I have seen one or some fully naked live. I will never say that they are hot, because that's for someone more "qualified" to judge. When someone tells me a woman is hot, I look logically at some elements and see "ah, yes, she portrays those elements, therefore she must be hot".

Thanks.  How far did you go with the first boyfriend?

   Did it start as just kissing or were dicks out the first time?

   Who brought up the subject or made the first move?

[Rubbersheetlad 37]

On 11/17/2024 at 1:10 PM, chubbyjack said:

When was the first physical contact with another male on a sexual level?

Had you ever had sex or foreplay with a female prior to your decision. 

I had experiences with both guys and girls when I was a teenager. But I never thought of myself as being gay or even bi until into my 20s when I was finally honest with myself. From my 30s to 50s I had sex almost exclusively with males - with a couple exceptions - but for the last decade I've been pretty much flying solo. Putting on weight and losing my youth didn't help. Thank goodness for the internet. 

[chubbyjack 295]

1 hour ago, Rubbersheetlad said:

I had experiences with both guys and girls when I was a teenager. But I never thought of myself as being gay or even bi until into my 20s when I was finally honest with myself. From my 30s to 50s I had sex almost exclusively with males - with a couple exceptions - but for the last decade I've been pretty much flying solo. Putting on weight and losing my youth didn't help. Thank goodness for the internet. 

If you are overweight check out biggercity.com 

   I am on it.chasers chat with chubs of any size 

  They gave a cam section or we connect via Skype.

   You can also search by region if you wanted to meet and hook up.

   I have a post about it and I also have 2 posts about urologist incidents 

 

[Rubbersheetlad 37]

Thanks for the tips. I gained weight after having surgery several years ago when I was put on meds that caused me to balloon by about 60 lbs in six months. I was never really overweight in my life until that point. At one point I was up to 225 lbs. but got back down to 205 lbs over the past couple years. I don't know if it qualifies me as a chub but I'm not tall and for most of my adult life my weight was around 160 lbs. so I'm self-conscious about my weight. I don't know if you have this issue but after I gained weight I found it was more difficult to control my pee streams.