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That must be very difficult for you. Is there any chance to reduce your hours? It sounds like it might be the root cause of problems? I really sympathise. It can't be easy, but we're here for you any time you need someone to talk to ❤️

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15 minutes ago, Kupar said:

That must be very difficult for you. Is there any chance to reduce your hours? It sounds like it might be the root cause of problems? I really sympathise. It can't be easy, but we're here for you any time you need someone to talk to ❤️

Thank you 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 5 months later...

Due to other medical issues I am not going to go into, in February I had to come off some of my meds and go on different ones. I have been struggling ever since but I became seriously depressed to the point that I was contemplating the pointlessness of life and the worthlessness of myself. I was hiding this from people and trying to pretend to be happy but felt like crying all the time inside. When I began to feel utterly worthless and that life was pointless I realised that I was spiralling down into a very bad place and sought medical help with time off work. But my meds were increased and I am heading towards a better place now. Still very fragile though and deeply insecure, and in a place in  my head where it would take very little negativity or disapproval to repel me. I am afraid to interact much with people on this forum, especially in any kind of flirtatious way, in case I trigger a negative response from which I would psychologically recoil and possibly leave here forever. It is because I do not trust myself as much as anything. The confident me of earlier years when I was a mod and when I felt comfortable writing stories about and for other people appears to be dead and buried for the time being.

For these reasons I rarely interact anymore on any kind of conversational level and if I interact at all it is usually in safer, non-fetish areas. Other than that, sharing pics and writing the occasional story for the Wet Carpet thread is all I feel able to contribute at all fetish wise right now. Most of the time at least. My mind is also in a place where I am liable to misinterpret responses sometimes, so in that sense am taking a risk in posting this. But my desire to explain what is going on and why I am not the person I used to be around here anymore trumps that right now. I do hope I can get back to being the person I used to be at some point.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sports, music, entertainment, just staring at the ceiling thinking about different aspects of the world and how it works. Going on google earth and looking up foreign places. Reading random wikipedia articles, clicking through the keywords for the next page on some different topic. And sometimes, just sometimes you find an analogy somewhere to something thats on your mind which may be a little help. 

Anyways i hope and wish for everyone who struggles with this to find peace in mind and get over those struggles.

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