Accepting the Kink?

[justanotherfan 11]

Hi! I'm pretty new here, also kinda New to the whole peeing Thing. 

I have this Kink for awhile now, a couple years definitely I'm 22 now and I'm sure it started when I was 15-16 or so. It started with squirting but that just wasn't enough for me. 

My problem is that I still really haven't come "in to terms" with it. I still feel kind of embarrassed by it. I've only told one person, my current boyfriend, and I cried because I felt disgusting. 

I'm also pretty much only into peeing where you normally shouldn't, but I haven't done much of that either except for a small trickle in a sink at work (like half a year ago), and about half bladder in my bathtub and onto a bathmat. 

Now I just wanna know if someone else had problems with accepting their Kink and how they overcome it. It annoys me to feel so embarrassed and disgusting over something I can't change. 

[thisguy20 937]

While my interests in peeing might be a bit different than yours (I tend to lean more towards wetting, but that is neither here nor there), I also did (and sometimes still do) feel a bit embarrassed by it.  Generally I have been much less troubled by my own interests, than by fear of others learning of my interests and putting some sort of negative label to me.  Ultimately, pretty much all interests which are outside of the mainstream within a given society can (and likely will) result in the sort of anxieties we feel.

[gldenwetgoose 21,498]

Hi and a huge welcome to the site. As you’ll gather there’s all sorts of aspects of the kink represented but the common theme is acceptance - so you’re in exactly the right place. 
We completely understand what you mean through and it’s not easy just to shrug off those feelings of being the odd one out or doing something to be ashamed of. 
It is a bit of a self defence mechanism, we don’t want people to know because we don’t want them to react badly. All I can off is that it won’t happen here. 
 

[Kupar 13,341]

I just read your OP and want to confirm that on this site at least, you're among people who have either accepted their kink or are like you hoping to find a way to come to terms with it through understanding that there are many who share it, and - hey - we're OK! Even if we aren't all into the same aspects of peeing, there is something that unites us. I wonder also whether for some - maybe you too, I don't know - we are attracted to kink precisely *because* it can make you feel disgusted if you think about it from the point of view of most other people. One of the site's more active members @Eliminature just today posted a link to an article (in a UK newspaper - hope the link works for you - I don't know where you are) quoting a psychologist who explains how harmless this particular paraphilia is https://www.mirror.co.uk/science/reasons-people-enjoy-golden-showers-9603027 and there are enough of us here that it can't be that bad, can it?

One thing did jump out at me from your post, though. You don't say how your current BF reacted when you told him. You don't have to say, of course. But I'm wondering whether his reaction was supportive, neutral or hostile. I think it takes a lot of courage to tell a SO about the kink - several people here have asked for advice about how to do it ... and you've done it! I hope you are able to come to terms with your attitude to the pee kink, and you can rely on us to help you if you need it. Take care.

[ppppppp 1,499]

You've perhaps heard the saying, 'Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is OK.'

You're wired the way you are.  Unless you find yourself drawn to involving other people, without their consent, it's not going to get yourself into trouble.  

Many religions like to make people feel guilty about their sexuality.  I think it's a form of control.  It's best ignored.

Human sexuality is fascinatingly diverse.  Have you ever looked at the map of the lands of human sexuality? (https://www.humansexmap.com/)  There's loads of stuff on there I've never heard of, or really don't understand.  And I think the bloke who designed it doesn't have much understanding of those of us who are into pee, in various ways.  Many here (myself included) would enjoy hearing about you peeing where you shouldn't (in my case, particularly if it was out of doors, and you were hiding what you were doing while you make your puddle).

 

[ppppppp 1,499]

Also, you might be interested in reading this article by a psychologist:  https://drmarkgriffiths.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/urine-demand-a-beginners-guide-to-urophilia/

[PissOnMyParade 447]

I first acknowledged I had this kink as soon as I was sexually active, but now realise I had it since I was very young. I'm 31 now and I finally feel like I'm mature enough that I can embrace my pee fetish. Yes, paraphilias by definition are unusual, but as paraphilias go, it's a relatively common one.

It's like, 1) if we're not intimate but I have had the guts to tell you I'm into peeing, you're probably a cam girl or an escort 2) if we're intimate and you react badly to me telling you, we aren't sexually compatible anyway, and 3) if we're intimate and you react well to me telling you, it's a weight off of my shoulders and I feel like I can tell you anything.

There is no cut-off point for embracing any kink, it's just a shame so many people with paraphilias don't feel able to deal with their own inner self-torment for fear of being labelled a social outcast/weirdo/pervert. I for one won't judge you and neither will anyone here.

[justanotherfan 11]

3 hours ago, Kupar said:

I just read your OP and want to confirm that on this site at least, you're among people who have either accepted their kink or are like you hoping to find a way to come to terms with it through understanding that there are many who share it, and - hey - we're OK! Even if we aren't all into the same aspects of peeing, there is something that unites us. I wonder also whether for some - maybe you too, I don't know - we are attracted to kink precisely *because* it can make you feel disgusted if you think about it from the point of view of most other people. One of the site's more active members @Eliminature just today posted a link to an article (in a UK newspaper - hope the link works for you - I don't know where you are) quoting a psychologist who explains how harmless this particular paraphilia is https://www.mirror.co.uk/science/reasons-people-enjoy-golden-showers-9603027 and there are enough of us here that it can't be that bad, can it?

One thing did jump out at me from your post, though. You don't say how your current BF reacted when you told him. You don't have to say, of course. But I'm wondering whether his reaction was supportive, neutral or hostile. I think it takes a lot of courage to tell a SO about the kink - several people here have asked for advice about how to do it ... and you've done it! I hope you are able to come to terms with your attitude to the pee kink, and you can rely on us to help you if you need it. Take care.

I know I don't get judged here, that's why I signed up into this forum in the first place. It helps a lot to feel less alone. 

And I can say, my boyfriend is very open minded. He instantly tried to calm me down and said it's no problem and that I don't have to be ashamed.  He also immediately suggested that I could pee on him, but I made clear that I'm not into that. 

Then he offered to take videos for me where he does naughty peeing, but I said no cause I don't want him to pee somewhere where people have to clean it up just for me 😂 But he also said that he gets it, getting aroused by doing something so naughty. 

I'm really glad that I have him and that there are no secrets between us. 

[justanotherfan 11]

Thank you guys for all the kind answers and information. 

It really helps and I hope I can learn to accept myself and what I like in the future. 

[Kupar 13,341]

28 minutes ago, justanotherfan said:

I know I don't get judged here, that's why I signed up into this forum in the first place. It helps a lot to feel less alone. 

And I can say, my boyfriend is very open minded. He instantly tried to calm me down and said it's no problem and that I don't have to be ashamed.  He also immediately suggested that I could pee on him, but I made clear that I'm not into that. 

Then he offered to take videos for me where he does naughty peeing, but I said no cause I don't want him to pee somewhere where people have to clean it up just for me 😂 But he also said that he gets it, getting aroused by doing something so naughty. 

I'm really glad that I have him and that there are no secrets between us. 

I'm really pleased for you that your BF is supportive. There are many relationships where that isn't the case, and I hope it'll help you relax into your feelings. I can tell you aren't finding that easy, and that's OK. Just see what happens. And talk about it 🙂

[gldenwetgoose 21,498]

As has been said, so awesome that your boyfriend is supportive - indeed it sounds like he's on exactly the same page.  The way you've described it sounds like maybe you feel he's 'rushing you' and that's understandable - better though that, than someone not supportive.

There are various members (including some staff) who have supportive partners to the level that they read the site over shoulders and we treat them as friends too - so in that sense your BF is welcome too.

[NotNowBob 52]

8 hours ago, justanotherfan said:

Now I just wanna know if someone else had problems with accepting their Kink and how they overcome it. It annoys me to feel so embarrassed and disgusting over something I can't change. 

I essentially have joined and decided to participate in this forum for the very same reason. It has taken me years to get to the point where I have accepted that the kink is deeply rooted in my sexuality and is always going to be part of what excites me. But, fully accepting it to the point where I am totally at peace with it?

No. That's a work in progress and it's going to probably be a while before I find what the right balance is. That's important because my kink is tied into humiliation and shame and I am equally turned on by that if it's happening to me or I'm seeing it happen to someone else. Basically, I'm into accidental wetting and the more embarrassing it is the more it turns me on (for instance, a person who laughs too hard and pees herself. As I've written elsewhere, I self-identify as a CIS, hetro male, but I also would classify myself as about 90% straight, 10%...let's call it...open minded) .

That offers me some ethical questions as it relates to consent. Less so if I'm talking about me being on the bottom side of humiliation -- although not entirely. I draw the line at having an "accident-on-purpose" in front of a stranger because I know it's for my sexual gratification, even if they don't. That said, I do occasionally act visibly distressed in public because that idea that people are looking at me being desperate does turn me on and it doesn't feel like it's as intrusive as actually peeing yourself would be. I also will share stories of accidents I've had with people, if the conversation naturally goes there. 

When it comes to others having accidents it's far more complicated. I 100% would never put someone in a situation where they were desperate, or purposely delay someone getting to the bathroom in hopes of them having an accident. That's an absolute no go to me. In fact, it's sexual assault. I have been in situations over the years where someone with me has become desperate and I actually overcompensate to try and get them to a washroom. I've never had someone in that situation not make it, but if it did I would accept that I'd be turned on by it -- it's just part of me -- but that I did not cause it or make it more likely.

I would probably be walking funny and, if the night went well after she cleaned up I suspect I would be eager to make her feel like a woman again. If you follow.

Don't be a creep; don't be an asshole is my rule. I allow myself to watch videos of "real" accidents because a) they probably aren't real -- I can think of about 5 all-time that I believe are 100% true life accidents and B) There is a level of consent given by virtue of them being uploaded to YouTube/wherever.  

Ultimately, if I can scratch this itch while also feeling ethically sound I think I can get to a point of, at least, partial acceptance.