Humiliation

[deliquescent 2,696]

When pee content first appeared on the internet, it seemed like a lot of it involved humiliation, BDSM, shitting, etc. I wonder why it took so long for an entrepreneur to figure out that a lot of people just find pleasure and a thrill in pissing, plain and simple?

I know there are a few here who are aficionados of humiliation and I don't want to rain on your parade (pun!). I never understood the appeal. What is it about humiliation that's a turn on?  No judgement, just trying to understand.

My guess is that anything sexual involves some power differential. Sex is always better when one person is in charge. Whichever partner is the one in the driver's seat can vary from time to time, at least for me. Some people just need an extreme power differential, I guess. But I still don't know why that is.

[PissDude 479]

I didn’t experience that early on. In the mid to late 90’s when I finally had access to a computer and privacy at the same time, I did a search for “girls pissing”. Though I had a few fond memories as a child of being outside with girls who needed relief and weren’t old enough to be shy, there were few pictures available. But then, I’ve never been interested in watching other men bang women. I just want to see the girls on their own, preferably in dire need of relief.

[NotNowBob 52]

On 7/29/2021 at 2:06 AM, deliquescent said:

I know there are a few here who are aficionados of humiliation and I don't want to rain on your parade (pun!). I never understood the appeal. What is it about humiliation that's a turn on?  No judgement, just trying to understand.

I mean...this isn't going to satisfy you probably, but...I have no clue, really. It's probably tied into early memories and maybe you're just born with it. I wish I understood it more, but it's 100% the biggest part of the kink to me.

I'm not sure if this is the right term (but it's the only one that fits for me that I've found), but, for me, I'm a "switch." I am turned on both by my humiliation and by other people's. When I watch videos, for instance, I need to see the actress (mostly) or actor (not never, but not often) expressing embarrassment or shame. With myself, I often remember legit accidents I've had in the past and it's the embarrassment I felt at the time that excites me. On same level, I will sometimes share the story of those accidents with someone I'm talking to (if it is an appropriate conversation to have -- i.e. we are talking about embarrassing moments we've had -- I often would ask the embarrassing moments question on a Tinder/Bumble date as an ice breaker. Bonus if they follow up my wetting story with one of their own...). 

This is a broad spectrum of a kink -- accident fans don't have a lot in common with Golden Shower fans. Except, perhaps, from a taboo standpoint. In all cases, peeing is considered something that is dirty or extreme. So, maybe that taboo aspect draws us all in on some level and that might be a trait that does share elements of humiliation, regardless of how you seek it.

Just spit-balling, really.  To each their own, ultimately. 

[Eliminature 5,209]

This article, a few years old but still fairly recent, goes some way to explaining. Apparently, at its foundation, urophilia is related to sadomasochism. Though if this is true, it's probably subconscious in most of us.

The sexologist in question also states what the men of this website lament about a lot - the discrepancy between men and women. Kinks and fetishes are overwhelmingly more common in men, it seems. 

https://www.mirror.co.uk/science/reasons-people-enjoy-golden-showers-9603027

[Eliminature 5,209]

Perhaps, in my own case, I risk being humiliated when I post photographs of myself online doing what is essentially a private act - urinating. Maybe this is at the core of it? 

People here tend to praise me for it, which is highly arousing. There's nothing like being praised for peeing, but I could just as easily be ridiculed for it. 

[Kupar 13,340]

6 minutes ago, Eliminature said:

This article, a few years old but still fairly recent, goes some way to explaining. Apparently, at its foundation, urophilia is related to sadomasochism. Though if this is true, it's probably subconscious in most of us.

The sexologist in question also states what the men of this website lament about a lot - the discrepancy between men and women. Kinks and fetishes are overwhelmingly more common in men, it seems. 

https://www.mirror.co.uk/science/reasons-people-enjoy-golden-showers-9603027

Interesting article - thanks. (Though I am really concerned about the photo that the Mirror chose to illustrate the paragraph on pee drinking. That model needs to get to a doctor!)

[pussylover 70]

On 8/3/2021 at 6:53 AM, Eliminature said:

This article, a few years old but still fairly recent, goes some way to explaining. Apparently, at its foundation, urophilia is related to sadomasochism. Though if this is true, it's probably subconscious in most of us.

The sexologist in question also states what the men of this website lament about a lot - the discrepancy between men and women. Kinks and fetishes are overwhelmingly more common in men, it seems. 

https://www.mirror.co.uk/science/reasons-people-enjoy-golden-showers-9603027

Perhaps it's related to how female sexuality is supposedly more plastic - her preferences liable to change over time and experience based on what her body needs this season, whereas a man's brain may have assumed he has found the best marker of fertility?  

The article goes on to say, "Dr Griffiths also points out how, in a 1982 medical journal, it was found "urine fulfilled many different functions for urophiles.""  It appears his sadomasochism hypothesis may have been in reference in his belief that "Urophiliacs typically derive sexual pleasure from urinating on (and / or being urinated upon by) another person," and "Some urophiliacs may also bathe in urine, enjoy smelling people in urine-soaked clothes, and/or engage in urophagia (i.e., drinking the urine)."  I am not sure if this is true - in my experience, the pee kink tends to be either wetting, or exhibition/voyeurism.  

The biological reality is that female urine contains pheromones which arouse men, and male observation of female urination tends to be arousing for both parties - some of us have just taken it to the extreme and consider it the most arousing thing.  This is partially because peeing is stigmatized even though recently passed urine is clean.  When you pretend it's not peeing - it's squirting - most people will acknowledge it's arousing.  How is peeing in front of someone not making a pass at them?  A woman you know has pulled down her pants and bent over in front of you.  She's spraying pheromones everywhere, letting you know she's fertile, and her elegant thin stream suggests she hasn't given birth and is eager to prepare a baby.  When she's done, she shakes her buttocks, suggesting her crotch is wet.  

As a corollary, most men tend to prefer slightly thicker women but that was not the ideal body type presented in the media until recently.  

On 8/3/2021 at 6:58 AM, Eliminature said:

Perhaps, in my own case, I risk being humiliated when I post photographs of myself online doing what is essentially a private act - urinating. Maybe this is at the core of it? 

People here tend to praise me for it, which is highly arousing. There's nothing like being praised for peeing, but I could just as easily be ridiculed for it. 

If you don't mind me asking, why do you find being praised for urinating a turn-on?  I have nearly no response to being praised for peeing, but I praise and adore a woman who can pee like a man.    Is your train of subconscious though is similar?  

On 7/22/2021 at 2:33 AM, pussylover said:

My generation, the millennials, were told growing up that boys were defective girls, that anything boys can do girls can do better, that girls can do anything, be anything, and rule the world.  

A woman can be stronger than a man, or taller than a man.  She can cut her hair shorter and tidier than a man, work harder, get promoted higher, and wear a cleaner cut suit.  Rarely, a flat breasted woman can develop more noticeable pectorals than a man.  The few things a woman supposedly cannot do that a man can supposedly relate to the penis.  A woman is not expected to ever have aim of her pee stream.  None of her pants come with a fly made for her.  None of bathrooms have a urinal installed for her.  For a woman to pee standing into a urinal through the fly is incredibly arousing to me.  She can even do so with her genitals fully hidden from the side view - pee like a man better than a man!  

This is strange to me because I worship the vagina.  It is what and where a woman can do what a man cannot.  She cannot be kicked in the testicles.  She can give birth.  

Do you really think people's reaction to pictures of you peeing standing up through the fly, into a urinal, onto a tree, onto a wall, with only front and not your rear exposed, into the sink, and without having to wipe, would be to shame you?  I think most women would wonder why no one taught them to do that, and men wonder if their ladies could take less time in the bathroom.  I think much of the shame towards women peeing is due to her having to pull her pants down, exposing her ass for no reason, and squatting, which is awkward and vulnerable.  You've circumvented both of those!  Men aren't shamed for peeing, but seen as vandals.  

[deliquescent 2,696]

On 8/3/2021 at 4:53 AM, Eliminature said:

This article, a few years old but still fairly recent, goes some way to explaining. Apparently, at its foundation, urophilia is related to sadomasochism. Though if this is true, it's probably subconscious in most of us.

The sexologist in question also states what the men of this website lament about a lot - the discrepancy between men and women. Kinks and fetishes are overwhelmingly more common in men, it seems. 

https://www.mirror.co.uk/science/reasons-people-enjoy-golden-showers-9603027

This psychologist is only partially correct. There certainly are those who have slight or overt sadomasochistic tendencies who incorporate piss into their BDSM activities. Then there are people like me who regard pee play as PLAY. I had a long prepubescent association of pee with sex. What did I know about sex and sexual fluids when I was a kid? Nothing, but it seemed to have something to do with genitals and pee. I didn't have sisters, so girls were one big mystery regarding everything down there. So it all got wrapped up in some proto-sexual theory about how babies are made and theories about what girls had in their panties. 

When I hit puberty and figured it out, I pretty much forgot about those theories. Somewhere around adulthood the spark got rekindled with a vengeance. It's been part of sex play whenever I find a willing partner.

As long as all the plumbing in both partners is healthy and everyone is well hydrated and staying away from asparagus, I love everything about piss play, even drinking it (in small amounts) when things get raunchy. 

For those outside looking in, I guess everything about it looks like BDSM. But it is not. 

[PissDude 479]

I doubt psychologists have done a complete study of this field. I doubt a wide enough sample is available. I don’t think I’d be willing to talk to one unless under conditions of complete anonymity. I can’t relate to BDSM, humiliation, guys (except for myself), or even under most conditions, “watersports’. For me, it’s about the fantasy of a filled bladder that needs relief, then it is achieved. I prefer for that fantasy to be about a women. When I have the rare opportunity, I will let my own bladder fill, then project it onto images or videos of women.

To me, it’s similar to an orgasm. It slowly builds, until it reaches the point where it will release on its own if you don’t do it yourself. Some women, like that “Nerdy Fairy” girl, are really good at giving me what I want to see. But most of us have our own variation of this, and that’s fine.

And I haven’t had a chance in real life to experience this, and that’s OK. As long as we have the Internet, I can get what I need. I tried to explain it to my ex-wife, and she basically used it against me. Fortunately, when I told my current wife about it, she doesn’t seem to remember the conversation. But I told her I won’t ask and I won’t expect. She seemed to understand what I said at the time, but her memory isn’t always the best.

I did have a night with my ex shortly after our wedding where she was really drunk, and I convinced her to let me watch her piss. And having had some drinks, she said she really had to go. I got her clothes off and knelt down, looking up at her vagina and fantasized about how much her piss needed to come out. Then I escorted her to the toilet so she could relieve herself.

The few times in life I’ve been with a woman desperate for relief were not the time to say something like “This is so hot!”

[Eliminature 5,209]

On 8/5/2021 at 12:20 AM, pussylover said:

How is peeing in front of someone not making a pass at them?  A woman you know has pulled down her pants and bent over in front of you.  She's spraying pheromones everywhere, letting you know she's fertile, and her elegant thin stream suggests she hasn't given birth and is eager to prepare a baby.  When she's done, she shakes her buttocks, suggesting her crotch is wet.  

 

I'm not sure that I like this comment. It sails too close to the "she was asking for it" territory for my liking. 

When a woman pees in front of a man, either she is desperate enough to damn the consequences - in which case, it's strictly utilitarian. Or she wants him to see it because it turns HER on. It is titillating and arousing for her. Unless he is a sexual partner (or future sexual partner) in a consensual and mutually respectful relationship, it is - as a rule - done for her benefit, not his.

Either way, for a woman to urinate in front of a man is a huge gesture of trust. To say that she is "making a pass" at him or simular is untrue and exploitative. A popped squat or an arc sprayed against a wall is not and never will be an invitation for a grope, a playful slap, an unwanted grasp, a lewd comment (you can look, but don't touch) or, heaven forbid, a violated genital or anal orifice. Not on either sex or any gender.

[pussylover 70]

6 hours ago, Eliminature said:

On 8/4/2021 at 6:20 PM, pussylover said:

How is peeing in front of someone not making a pass at them?  A woman you know has pulled down her pants and bent over in front of you.  She's spraying pheromones everywhere, letting you know she's fertile, and her elegant thin stream suggests she hasn't given birth and is eager to prepare a baby.  When she's done, she shakes her buttocks, suggesting her crotch is wet.  

 I'm not sure that I like this comment. It sails too close to the "she was asking for it" territory for my liking. 

When a woman pees in front of a man, either she is desperate enough to damn the consequences - in which case, it's strictly utilitarian. 

I didn't think that one through.    

6 hours ago, Eliminature said:

Or she wants him to see it because it turns HER on. It is titillating and arousing for her. Unless he is a sexual partner (or future sexual partner) in a consensual and mutually respectful relationship, it is - as a rule - done for her benefit, not his.

Either way, for a woman to urinate in front of a man is a huge gesture of trust. To say that she is "making a pass" at him or simular is untrue and exploitative. A popped squat or an arc sprayed against a wall is not and never will be an invitation for a grope, a playful slap, an unwanted grasp, a lewd comment (you can look, but don't touch) or, heaven forbid, a violated genital or anal orifice. Not on either sex or any gender.

By making a pass, I meant flirting, not asking for a groping.  Bad, careless, wording.  My fault.  

[Eliminature 5,209]

20 hours ago, pussylover said:

By making a pass, I meant flirting, not asking for a groping.  Bad, careless, wording.  My fault.  

Thank you for admitting that. ❤☮

I think on a fetish based forum it can be easy to forget (and I'd be the first to admit that I am occasionally guilty of this) that whilst we all love to indulge in our fetish, consent is everything. And that goes for any kind of sex. 

[gldenwetgoose 21,492]

Good call both of you, and both worthwhile posts.

I'm also as guilty as everyone in playing out a side of my life in this community which is largely private fantasy.  I often caveat it with 'in a parallel universe' meaning that I'll express desires and sometimes playfully join with people's fantasies which I'd not do in real life for various reasons.

Totally agree though that consent from both parties is everything.  Without consent it has no place here.

[pussylover 70]

10 hours ago, Eliminature said:

Thank you for admitting that. ❤☮

I think on a fetish based forum it can be easy to forget (and I'd be the first to admit that I am occasionally guilty of this) that whilst we all love to indulge in our fetish, consent is everything. And that goes for any kind of sex. 

If it wasn't clear enough, I want to iterate that I don't think a woman peeing in front of you is a literal ask to have sex with you.  Just that if a woman you know starts peeing in front of you she might be expressing interest in you.  She also might be very desperate or very drunk.  

[gldenwetgoose 21,492]

I think we’ve perhaps dropped into a little rabbit hole of discussion on this point.

The crux as I see it is ‘if’ you are already in a consenting sexual relationship with someone who knows your kink and the arousal it causes you, then I see what you mean.  But I really can’t see any other circumstance where one stranger could or would try to use it as a means to pull another stranger.

Anyway rather than keep digging, I’m going to suggest that we park this whole aspect here and get back on to the wider question of generally why does it appeal to us to either allow ourselves to be humiliated or to see others humiliated. 

[Sexismygod 1,782]

To be honest, humiliation as part of pee play never really entered my mind.

Obviously a golden shower has elements of dominance, and for some that includes the degradation & humiliation of the receiver.  For me, though, and I speak only for myself, I'd want it to be mutual, which pretty much negates the whole dominance aspect.  As mutual play, there's no humiliation, just sharing of an agreed enjoyment.

My own playtime, i.e. naughty/sneaky peeing, often in public places, is all about "getting away with it".  I guess that could be associated with a form of dominance but I see no humiliation except my own (if I screwed up and got caught).  For me, my kink is very much focused on risk/reward, not domination or humiliation.  I take a risk and success brings reward.

Again, this is just my perspective.  I speak for no one but me.  If humiliation is part of your kink then long may it bring you the pleasure you seek. 

[Kupar 13,340]

I very much like receiving a shower from K. But I don't really think of it in terms of humiliation. I just really like to see, hear, feel and sometimes taste her pee and see where it's coming from. I don't think she thinks of it in terms of humiliation or domination either, but rather something fun that gives me pleasure of a sexually stimulating kind, and gives her a laugh, literally. It is quite possible that there are sub/dom psychological things going on there, but they just aren't apparent to us 😊

[gldenwetgoose 21,492]

There's obviously that element that's been talked about of whether we derive satisfaction from seeing someone else being humiliated....

Watching a clip of a model in a desperate situation and seeing her wet herself in a public plays tickles the fantasy that we are humiliating her - although in a safe way because we know it's scripted, planned and she really doesn't mind. Reading forum fiction about wetting. Then there are situations we may see a real person in a humiliating situation, maybe just mild embarrassment about people seeing their need to wee or greater embarrassment about actually exposing themselves to pee in public or maybe wetting themselves.  And as has been hinted, there are those (and no judgement from me either who will gain their kicks from causing a level of humiliation - perhaps denying their partner use of the bathroom in a non-consensual way at a time of genuine desperation.

I'd suggest that somewhere on a sliding scale we all have enjoyed elements of other people's implied or real humiliation - to varying degrees.

And for those that enjoy a little pee vandalism, where we create a situation for someone else to clean up - is that classed as us causing humiliation to them?

 

The other aspect of course maybe not mentioned yet is when it comes to self-humiliation.  Allowing ourselves to be in a potentially or real humiliation situation.  For example holding in public deliberately and people seeing us squirm, the thrill of the danger that someone catches us peeing or wetting, or for some the thrill they derive from being seen post wetting.  Even just playing out fantasies behind closed doors we are often implying a level of humiliation.  For example, if I choose to do a clothed hold at home, there's a good chance I'm not really thinking about my own need but what would a lady do in this situation, how would it feel for her to have an accident.

 

So after rambling on a lot - I'd hazard that if we include the mild levels of humiliation fantasies and the self imposed, then an awful lot of our kink could be considered as driven by thoughts of humiliation.  And of course other elements of it instead by the pure joy and enjoyment.

[Coupleslave 131]

My very first memory related to piss, is a (female) cousin of mine, more or less same age as I am who happened to have pee accidents until she was 6... She would often have those while playing with me in my room, and over the years she peed on me and on most of my favorite toys... Once she actually told me that no matter how much I washed my toys her piss wasn't gonna go off... That probably did it for me, since then I always fantasize of piss as a form of humiliation, a girl pissing on me or ruining my stuff with her piss... 

[Guest UnabashedUser]

On 8/8/2021 at 4:15 AM, Kupar said:

I don't think she thinks of it in terms of humiliation or domination either, but rather something fun that gives

The wife does it for me because it turns us both on and we love each other. Likewise she adores my pee washing her clit and area which provides even more foreplay and makes the wet sex that follows even more exciting.