Jump to content

Jennie goes shopping


Recommended Posts

Wonderful story. Hot that it actually happened. Was the girl who peed one of your friends? Also great grammar:)

Edited by Lutab
Word change
  • Thanks 1
Link to post

Great story, really enjoyed it. It is well written! If I can offer one bit of advice, it would be to use the person's name less often. If you instead use "she", it will sound more natural 🙂

  • Like 1
Link to post

Thanks again. And thanks @petal123 for the advice too. I was trying to avoid repeating the same pronoun over and over again by mentioning her name every now and then, but re-reading the story it does seem like I overdid it in places. Maybe I'll pay more attention to these details next time I find inspiration for a story 😉

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...