As women have become more bold, young men are becoming timid?

[beachmom 1,815]

So over the last 20 years or so I've noticed such a profound change in thinking and habits of both men and women. Being raised in Eastern Europe in a fairly remote area, public restrooms were almost unheard of and we often shared our home restroom with neighboring families. Hence it was always common practice for boys as well as men to pee outdoors, maybe beside an outhouse or tree at home or against a wall or between cars in town. Certainly no one thought it was inappropriate to do so, but rather many women would be irritated if they had to wait in line behind a man or had to find a restroom for a boy.

After moving to the U.S. in the 90's I soon realized that American society was more critical of men urinating outdoors that they ever were in Europe, but still men were willing to pee outdoors regardless. Over the next few years I noticed a "war on men" take place in America, a crack down on things like drinking and driving, public intoxication and yes urinating in public. I've seen where some states or cities grouped urinating in public and indecent exposure with sex crimes, raising the risk from a fine to jail time and lifetime registration as a sex offender!!! I think as a result, many men and especially young men and boys have succumbed to these new policies and have become extremely hesitant to take any chances.  Interestingly, as men have become less willing to pee outdoors, I've noticed that many women have become dismayed with men and boys for their unwillingness to just pee outdoors. I recall being on a rafting trip a few years back and group of collage kids beached their rafts next to us. A young man quickly got out and was apparently about to run up the bank toward a snack bar on the ridge. A young woman in the raft asked, "where are you going," to which he replied, "I've gotta pee." The young women all laughed and one responded, "yeah, so just piss in the water." He gave her a very surprised look and continued up the hill. Moments later the girls one by one relieved themselves on the bank or into the water in varying ways, but none of them at all modest about doing so. "We're rafting after all," one woman said, "aren't we obligated to pee in the river?"

Having taken my three boys back home to Europe nearly every summer, they grew up learning from the locals it was not just normal, but boys were often expected to pee in fairly public places outdoors. Returning home, they always peed in our back yard while playing or swimming and just stepped somewhat out of site around the neighborhood. It didn't take the neighborhood kids or their mothers long to notice or comment, since our boys seemed to be the only ones confident enough to do so. One day while I was conversing with mother of one of my sons friends, my son rather openly began to pee in the yard. I was preparing myself to hear a ration of criticism from her, but  before I could say anything in his defense, the women remarked, "you're boys boys aren't a bit shy, are they?" "We're (all the moms in the neighborhood) all so envious that your boys aren't tracking into the house all day like the rest of the boys in the neighborhood do." She then began a rather open conversation with me asking how my boys had become comfortable with peeing outside and how she might convince her boys to do so as well. To say the least I was quite surprised to hear that the neighborhood moms weren't judgemental of me or may boys, but rather we were their roll models.

I see and hear so many young men today who are so very hesitant to pee outdoors or let it be known they do, much less post a photo or video of them doing so. Conversely, there are literally thousands of young women who aren't a bit shy to post photos or videos of them peeing in public, many even willing to show their faces. While the guys come here to look through the girls posting, young men seem to have become uncomfortable with even admitting they pee outdoors. It seems the tables have turned completely, so much that women and mothers literally have to beg young men to just relieve themselves outside. Guys, why have you become so shy, when women are so blatantly encouraging you guys to just go?

[cornerstone 89]

You may be onto something, I grew up in the US and I'm in my 20s. And I must say I'm not totally comfortable peeing outdoors when there are people around, especially not during the daytime. I usually only pee outdoors when I can't find a bathroom nearby and really had to go.

I think a lot of guys are pee shy like myself, it's really hard for us to pee if we know there's someone next to us or worse watching! Though some guys don't have that fear and can just go anytime. Personally, I have slowly begin to overcome that fear and turned it into a fetish of mine. I can't wait to give a good show to some girl who wants to watch when I go in public.

Edited April 9, 2020 by cornerstone

[beachmom 1,815]

2 hours ago, cornerstone said:

You may be onto something, I grew up in the US and I'm in my 20s. And I must say I'm not totally comfortable peeing outdoors when there are people around, especially not during the daytime. I usually only pee outdoors when I can't find a bathroom nearby and really had to go.

I think a lot of guys are pee shy like myself, it's really hard for us to pee if we know there's someone next to us or worse watching! Though some guys don't have that fear and can just go anytime. Personally, I have slowly begin to overcome that fear and turned it into a fetish of mine. I can't wait to give a good show to some girl who wants to watch when I go in public.

It's strange that you and many other young men feel they have some sort of fetish simply because they choose to pee outdoors. It's nothing sexual, you're just simply relieving yourself quickly and conveniently, without having to inconvenience any one else. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, even women expect guys to do so.

[cornerstone 89]

1 minute ago, beachmom said:

It's strange that you and many other young men feel they have some sort of fetish simply because they choose to pee outdoors. It's nothing sexual, you're just simply relieving yourself quickly and conveniently, without having to inconvenience any one else. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, even women expect guys to do so.

That's reassuring to hear for sure. Do you enjoy watching men pee in a sexual manner?

For me, peeing seems like such a private thing to do, its fluid coming out of someone's private. Probably the most private thing someone can do physically.

[beachmom 1,815]

1 minute ago, cornerstone said:

That's reassuring to hear for sure. Do you enjoy watching men pee in a sexual manner?

For me, peeing seems like such a private thing to do, its fluid coming out of someone's private. Probably the most private thing someone can do physically.

I don't see it as sexual at all, we all need to pee, it's just easier for guys to do it than women. It's nothing offensive either, all guys have very similar penises and every women's seen a few. Our faces are quite unique and identifiable, but there's a Japanese game show where women are challenged to choose their partners from a lineup of men with only their penises protruding through holes in a partition wall. Interestingly, most women can't pick their partners from the group. Seeing men relieving themselves is nothing sexual or offensive, just convenience.

[cornerstone 89]

9 minutes ago, beachmom said:

I don't see it as sexual at all, we all need to pee, it's just easier for guys to do it than women. It's nothing offensive either, all guys have very similar penises and every women's seen a few. Our faces are quite unique and identifiable, but there's a Japanese game show where women are challenged to choose their partners from a lineup of men with only their penises protruding through holes in a partition wall. Interestingly, most women can't pick their partners from the group. Seeing men relieving themselves is nothing sexual or offensive, just convenience.

Interesting. So do you enjoy watching at all? What do you like about it?

[beachmom 1,815]

Yes, I suppose I do. I appreciate strong, bold, assertive men, I've always been turned off by men who are shy or uncomfortable. When a young man is bold enough to just whip it out and relieve himself without concern, I find myself suddenly turned on by the fact he's not intimidated by what anyone thinks.

[beachmom 1,815]

As women are often the ones cleaning around the house, we tend to constantly criticize men and especially boys for making a mess, leaving the seat up or failing to raise the seat and so on. Men tend to cower down to the constant criticism and take extra effort to not make a mess. I rather enjoy observing a man being rebellious in a public place and purposely making a mess or pissing in a totally inappropriate place, but again it's about showing they're not concerned about what anyone thinks.

[glad1 2,832]

I guess I was fortunate to get over my shyness in my early 20's. Not that I go out of my way to pee in public, but I have no problem answering nature's call when I'm hiking, driving back roads or on small boats. Sure, I've been caught by women several times but, aside from a not so pleasant ex, I've yet to have one complain. 

[glad1 2,832]

4 minutes ago, beachmom said:

As women are often the ones cleaning around the house, we tend to constantly criticize men and especially boys for making a mess, leaving the seat up or failing to raise the seat and so on. Men tend to cower down to the constant criticism and take extra effort to not make a mess. I rather enjoy observing a man being rebellious in a public place and purposely making a mess or pissing in a totally inappropriate place, but again it's about showing they're not concerned about what anyone thinks.

 Sure, I've been criticized more than a few times about making a mess and, if they're reasonable with their requests (and they usually are), I'll usually put in extra effort to be neat. But, someone constantly berating me about it is going to bring out my rebellious side.😝

[beachmom 1,815]

4 minutes ago, glad1 said:

I guess I was fortunate to get over my shyness in my early 20's. Not that I go out of my way to pee in public, but I have no problem answering nature's call when I'm hiking, driving back roads or on small boats. Sure, I've been caught by women several times but, aside from a not so pleasant ex, I've yet to have one complain. 

I find it so odd that many young men and boys these days are somehow under the assumption that women and especially their moms will be offended or upset by them relieving themselves in public. Looking through various parenting and mothers sites over the years I've found numerous polls done on the subject of boys peeing outdoors, in public or in backyards. While there's obviously some variance between them, the just of it was about 3 out of 4 moms said they'd allow boys to pee outside. Another asked moms where they'd prefer guys to go when they're outdoors, to which 58% said just go wherever outside, another 17% said discretely outside and only 24% want the guys to come into the bathroom. While 28% of moms say their sons do pee outside, another 43% said they wish their boys would. There certainly seems to be a disconnect between what moms think and what boys assume their moms are thinking.

[glad1 2,832]

3 minutes ago, beachmom said:

I find it so odd that many young men and boys these days are somehow under the assumption that women and especially their moms will be offended or upset by them relieving themselves in public. Looking through various parenting and mothers sites over the years I've found numerous polls done on the subject of boys peeing outdoors, in public or in backyards. While there's obviously some variance between them, the just of it was about 3 out of 4 moms said they'd allow boys to pee outside. Another asked moms where they'd prefer guys to go when they're outdoors, to which 58% said just go wherever outside, another 17% said discretely outside and only 24% want the guys to come into the bathroom. While 28% of moms say their sons do pee outside, another 43% said they wish their boys would. There certainly seems to be a disconnect between what moms think and what boys assume their moms are thinking.

Wow, only 28% of the boys pee outside! It certainly wasn't like that when I was growing up.

Maybe the dads aren't teaching their boys what they used to, so perhaps the moms need to set a good example.

[beachmom 1,815]

2 minutes ago, glad1 said:

Wow, only 28% of the boys pee outside! It certainly wasn't like that when I was growing up.

Maybe the dads aren't teaching their boys what they used to, so perhaps the moms need to set a good example.

I doubt that's the case, but only 28% of moms say they're aware of the fact their boys pee outside. I think that from the same poll one might realize that mothers must find it awkward to be the ones to encourage boys to do so, otherwise those 43% would become part of the 28% who do and indeed 3 out of 4 boys would be doing so.

[beachmom 1,815]

I still find it to be interesting how open women have become on the subject, sharing their thoughts, explicit photos and videos online, but yet young men are hesitant to pee in front of even their best friends and families. I swim almost daily at a Y pool and have become acquainted with a few women. It's almost a daily occurrence for me to notice another woman peeing in the showers or even squatted down at her locker. I walk with a 70ish women in the evenings and she often squats down for a quick piss in an alley. They tend to justify themselves by saying, "why not, men do so." Yet I notice more and more men being hesitant to do so.

[glad1 2,832]

3 minutes ago, beachmom said:

 Yet I notice more and more men being hesitant to do so.

As you mentioned in your first post of this thread, in recent years a great many women have declared a "war on men". Even if we're not shy, most men are no longer sure just what is acceptable behavior. One perceived false move on their part and they can be reported and possibly sued, fined or arrested.

While I'm a pretty independent sort who's not so good at taking orders from anyone, in recent years when I've been out I've tended to take my cues from the women. 

[beachmom 1,815]

7 minutes ago, glad1 said:

As you mentioned in your first post of this thread, in recent years a great many women have declared a "war on men". Even if we're not shy, most men are no longer sure just what is acceptable behavior. One perceived false move on their part and they can be reported and possibly sued, fined or arrested.

While I'm a pretty independent sort who's not so good at taking orders from anyone, in recent years when I've been out I've tended to take my cues from the women. 

That's reasonable thinking in public, yet I'm still wondering why young men seem to be so shy around their moms, sisters, aunts and such and why we don't see men jumping at the chance to exhibit themselves in places like this site.

[glad1 2,832]

3 minutes ago, beachmom said:

That's reasonable thinking in public, yet I'm still wondering why young men seem to be so shy around their moms, sisters, aunts and such and why we don't see men jumping at the chance to exhibit themselves in places like this site.

Come to think of it, you're right. I guess it's pretty much those of us "of a certain age" who are more inclined to exhibit. Maybe we just want to show we still have it!

[Sweets 4,517]

I happen to live in one of those city’s that will arrest you for indecent exposure for peeing in public.  And you will be classified as a sex offended.  So I understand why they are so careful around here.  When I was growing up my brother would pee anywhere.  We don’t have the same mother.  His mother would yell at him to stop peeing in front of other kids. Go in the bush or something lol.  And the teenager I hung out with when drinking the guys pretty much peed anywhere outside when we were drinking.  They were pretty discreet about it.   So I can see why things have changed 

[gldenwetgoose 21,486]

Hi @beachmom - Interesting question...   I think possibly the legal penalties for indecently peeing in the street on city nights out have become more prevalent possibly.

I can't say I've really noticed anything changing much between decades in the way you have.  What I have seen, is there seems to be a generation of twenty-something and maybe into early thirties who seem a lot more crass and loutish than older generations(?).   I know every society has it's classes, some people more highly educated and 'refined' than others, privileged perhaps?

What I mean are the subtleties, of walking through a busy shopping street of families with young children and seeing loud young men, swearing openly, drinking on the streets, shirts off if the weather is nice - without ever having been led to question that a huge part of the society around them don't swear infront of their children etc.  Now, from that perspective I don't see any reason why they would question pissing in public as socially frowned upon.

I was mentioning to someone here the other day, a year or so back sitting in my car at a motorway service area - a minibus turned up, a young guy jumped out and walked less than 10 feet onto the grass where he took a piss - he could have walked another 20 ft and he'd be pissing into bushes with his back to the world.  Even if he was too desperate to make it into the service area toilets there were more discrete options, again given the presence of families in broad daylight.

So on the guys question, I wonder if perhaps there is a widening divide - some guys being influenced into being less likely, and more guys who just don't give a f%%% about anything except themselves? 

[xroy80 163]

Where I live, peeing in public is illegal but the punishment is in the same category as a parking ticket. So, when I am feeling naughty, which mostly happens long before I reach the state of desperation, I usually do not hesitate to take the risk involved in visiting a suitable hideaway to relieve myself. 

Occasionally I have been caught by bypassers (females too) and, hmm, received negative feedback.

A few chat friends of mine (females too) get turned on by watching me pee. I enjoy pleasing them, and they enjoy returning the favor. It can become quite hot.

Somewhere in between, I suppose we find a silent majority of people who don't really care that much at all.

You gave me a fourth piece of the jigsaw puzzle, those who expect me to do so for practical reasons. Thanks, I will keep that in mind.

[gldenwetgoose 21,486]

7 hours ago, beachmom said:

Yes, I suppose I do. I appreciate strong, bold, assertive men, I've always been turned off by men who are shy or uncomfortable. When a young man is bold enough to just whip it out and relieve himself without concern, I find myself suddenly turned on by the fact he's not intimidated by what anyone thinks.

I love that philosophy - although I wouldn't claim to be bold or assertive.  I do wonder what the ratio is though, of ladies like yourself prepared to encourage a man to expose himself to pee in public compared to those who would feel the need to express offence?

Also - going off at a tangent to your point - from the young ladies' perspectives hopefully the increasing relaxedness that you mention has encouraged the attitude that it's ok to pee when you need to, nobody will think less and no need to risk injury or illness trying to hold - just go!

[Chicklover99 566]

Hi @beachmomI do think you have a point where the tables have turned as it were and young guys are now more hesitant to pee outdoors , where girls seem to be happy going outdoors and proud to share pics of themselves. I personally don’t have a problems going outdoors and will pee if I have too. 

 

[oliver2 4,418]

17 hours ago, cornerstone said:

I think a lot of guys are pee shy like myself, it's really hard for us to pee if we know there's someone next to us or worse watching! Though some guys don't have that fear and can just go anytime.

Some people - guys and girls - have real trouble going pee anywhere that isn’t a private bathroom at home. I have trouble if I’m somewhere really public and exposed, or in a very busy public shower

[oliver2 4,418]

6 hours ago, gldenwetgoose said:

I love that philosophy - although I wouldn't claim to be bold or assertive.  I do wonder what the ratio is though, of ladies like yourself prepared to encourage a man to expose himself to pee in public compared to those who would feel the need to express offence?

Guessing wildly, from my experience - about 60% “just go, guys can go anywhere” and about 30% “tsk” or “ew”. One of my exes was aware that I was happy to piss outdoors almost anywhere but appalled when she noticed I didn’t go to the toilet before showering and realised I would piss in the shower.

There is a lot of support for pissing in bushes, woods, etc. If guys (or girls) piss on walls or concrete it may smell eventually but if it’s outdoors a lot of people don’t care very much - pissing in outdoor car parks / parking lots, in railway stations seems to be not thought very objectionable (though you could be CCTVed and fined, or worse in some jurisdictions).

There are other times when different kinds of propriety conflict - do you get out of your pool and piss in your yard, where everyone can see, or go in the pool and leave your friends and family swimming in your piss? Go in the toilet, maybe missing and getting some on the floor, or outdoors (where neighbours can see) or in the sink (which is supposed to be “clean” not for piss which is “dirty”)

(I find people’s different ideas of rules and what is and isn’t allowed fascinating, which I guess would turn @beachmom off, because it would be sexier for her if I didn’t care and pissed everywhere regardless!)

[oliver2 4,418]

14 hours ago, beachmom said:

I doubt that's the case, but only 28% of moms say they're aware of the fact their boys pee outside. I think that from the same poll one might realize that mothers must find it awkward to be the ones to encourage boys to do so, otherwise those 43% would become part of the 28% who do and indeed 3 out of 4 boys would be doing so.

I imagine a lot of it with kids is the difficulty of teaching more subtle rules - like that you can pee in the pool, but if you’re standing on the edge and pissing into the pool, be careful who is watching. Or that pissing in your backyard is ok but pissing outside school will get you hauled into the Principal’s office.

But then the boys learn other boys will piss in the showers or the locker room, or, failing that, discover the joys of beer with the attendant need to get rid of the beer after you’ve enjoyed it, and it’s like, there’s a perfectly good wall over there...