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Pissing on the deck


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Scorpions! Shit!!! The other day I was warning someone about the perils of men peeing outside in the NZ mountains and high country because of the cheeky kea - bold and opportunistic native alpine parrots that live there...

But compared to scorpions they pale in comparison.

It just goes to show there are sinister things eyeing us up everywhere, so pee wherever you can and then run for your lives!!!

Edited by PissingBlonde
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Guest UnabashedUser

Oh those bastards. Yep we got those thangs here too. Nice hatband made from one. If you shake the rattles around horses, sometimes they'll react and buck. 

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We spent a lot of time mucking about on horses as kids and I was always grateful New Zealand dodged most of the scary and dangerous critters.

Here it's mainly dive bombing magpies and birds of prey protecting their young that you have to watch out for, and a few venomous spiders that aren't normally where humans are. And great white sharks.

Also bull sea lions: usually they just lie around sunbathing like Jabba the Hutt but are very territorial - a couple of times I've seen unsuspecting people wander into the sand dunes (for a piss or maybe some hanky-panky?) then come racing out chased by a huge 'slug on steroids'. For something with no legs, sea lions can move deceptively fast when they want to!

Hope those folk were into wetting... I know with something like that frightening and chasing me, there is no way I'd make it to a toilet.

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17 hours ago, UnabashedUser said:

Oh those bastards. Yep we got those thangs here too. Nice hatband made from one. If you shake the rattles around horses, sometimes they'll react and buck. 

I've ran over a few of these buggers lol. One good things is that rattlesnakes are good at eating gophers lol

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On 1/23/2020 at 1:48 AM, PissingBlonde said:

Scorpions! Shit!!! The other day I was warning someone about the perils of men peeing outside in the NZ mountains and high country because of the cheeky kea - bold and opportunistic native alpine parrots that live there...

But compared to scorpions they pale in comparison.

It just goes to show there are sinister things eyeing us up everywhere, so pee wherever you can and then run for your lives!!!

Wow!What do the Keas do?Try peck the guys peckers?I do know its a green parrot with a hooky bill,and they are quite inquisitive.

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17 hours ago, F.W said:

Wow!What do the Keas do?Try peck the guys peckers?I do know its a green parrot with a hooky bill,and they are quite inquisitive.

Don't know if they actually succeed at stealing schlongs but kea do have a reputation for destroying anything that isn't nailed down (sometimes for food, sometimes for fun) so if I was a guy I'm not sure I'd risk it.

Also have to say, "Bender is great!" If I were the proud owner of a shiny metal ass, I'd pee - or the robot equivalent - EVERYWHERE, safe in the knowledge that no vicious animal could harm me... it's the mortal 'meatbags' who need to protect their lower human horn.

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Ok - hopefully this will be my last scary animal post for a while, and apologies to @speedy3471 for taking your perfectly pervable thread off on such a tangent.

It's just that after I replied to @F.W yesterday, there was an article in the paper about how kea are dying from chewing on lead roofing nails, so I stand corrected: apparently they also eat things that are nailed down. Shouldn't really joke about this as the naughty little buggers are so cute and it is very sad...

But it made me think: hmmmm - men talk about having 'lead in their pencil'... obviously this may not stand up to scientific scrutiny but what if people who get turned on by pissing outdoors are being hunted by the birds more successfully than I thought - could this be contributing to their demise?!?

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4 minutes ago, PissingBlonde said:

Ok - hopefully this will be my last scary animal post for a while, and apologies to @speedy3471 for taking your perfectly pervable thread off on such a tangent.

It's just that after I replied to @F.W yesterday, there was an article in the paper about how kea are dying from chewing on lead roofing nails, so I stand corrected: apparently they also eat things that are nailed down. Shouldn't really joke about this as the naughty little buggers are so cute and it is very sad...

But it made me think: hmmmm - men talk about having 'lead in their pencil'... obviously this may not stand up to scientific scrutiny but what if people who get turned on by pissing outdoors are being hunted by the birds more successfully than I thought - could this be contributing to their demise?!?

No worries, getting off topic happens. I will get it back on track by pissing on my deck again hahahaha

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