A serious problem

[spywareonya 37,915]

Hi Forum

This is a very important communication from Spywareonya

And it's the only thing I should have been talking about since the very beginning

My unability to realize this had been to be blamed unto my personal immaturity

 

 

This is about why I left for two months last year. And about why it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE that I could leave again… this is about why I am here. On this forum, just as much as on this world.

Under any circumstances, you will never, ever, read from me anything more intimate and dead serious.

 

Edited February 10, 2019 by spywareonya

[spywareonya 37,915]

Last year, after a roaring start, something happened. During January, I began to be ignored, surpassed by some other contents that were offering something more immediately enjoyable than mine, and this hurt me, yet without realizing why. I left, offended that people were failing to realize the true meaning of what I was giving to this forum… the funny thing, is that gun-to-the-head, it wasn't exactly clear not even to me...

 

I never stopped logging it, but I stopped to post, until late Spring. After being back, it was quite obvious to me that the persons that overrun me into people's hearts weren't a rising star, but a shooting star, and indeed I never heard of them again. The point is not them. They did nothing to undermine me. The point is that I failed to make people understand I was giving something precious, more than the actual pics. I needed a balanced response to what I gave.

 

But why? Why people should have cheered me up that much? 

 

It may sound just Ego. But it isn't. I was a woman on a mission. I just hadn't realized it yet. I was blinded by personal anxieties that were fueling my desires… but though they were INDEED part of my craving… they were NOT the core. At the beginning, I failed to realize it.

 

I thought it was need for self-validation. Admin helped me going much Beyond all of that.He provided something that in psychology is called "positive diffractor", it means somebody that, though deeply loving you, doesn't give you what you yell for, in order for you to understand that you are just illuding yourself, and what you crave for is just a mask for something else.

I did not need glory. I needed visibility, and control over the amount of it I was getting. Still, I couldn't grasp the reasons behind my passionate craving.

 

Helped and sorrounded by my friend, among which I can list tens of persons, but above all Steve, Scot, Sophie, FannyWatcher, MarkJ, Bpb and many Others, I plunged into myself to confute my deep unconscious… life also forced my hand. I underwent a mourning during November, and the bankrupt of the society I have been working under for years, in December, that's also why I have been absent in those months.

 

Now, I am a completely different person, and I know why I am here. I know what I want from this forum, and from my life. I know why I left upon failing to obtain it last Winter, and why sometimes I feel like I have been losing interest in logging in as I have been almost completely ignored since I have been back at the beginning of the year.

Edited February 10, 2019 by spywareonya

[spywareonya 37,915]

Do any of you have familiarity with the acronym "IHS" ? Is a christian term, it is sometimes written above Crucifixes, and is latin, it stands for "In Hoc Signo", which means "In the Name of" referring to the Cross.

As a Witch, we know that the teachings of Christ were NOTHING like the shit is squandered around by the Church, and indeed we Witches list Christ as one of us. But if we consider christianity like the modern diarrhea perpetrated by religious leaders (that, I would like to remember all of you, would sentence ALL of us fetishists to hell) I could define myself as a full-frontal antichristian

Thus, I jokingly chose that acronym to describe my enemy. Fighting against it is my only reason of existence. ALL that I want from life, is achievable ONLY by destroying it. Until it stands, my life sucks, for I have nothing that I want.

It has risen to such a level of consciousness to me, that I actually culled off from my life many people and situations that failed to cohoperate with me against it.

When this forum failed me last winter, I detached from it too… and it's happening again. I have been back in almost full activity six weeks ago, and until now, I have obtained the same amount of traffic (likes/replies/Pms etc) that I used to get IN A SINGLE DAY before my two-months forced absence between Halloween and New Year's Eve.

Now, since this time is nothing about Ego or personal satisfaction… it has come the time to tell you all, since from your response it could depend my future here.

[spywareonya 37,915]

What is the IHS for me? An acronym doubtlessly, but doesn't stand for In Hoc Signo.

It stands for INVISIBLE HUB OF SILENCE.

It's what Marx (that has to do with Stalin's so-called "Marxism" just as much Christianity has in common with the actual teachings of Christ, i.e ZERO) called "Alienation".

 

It's the empty space between people. The invisible wall that prevents people from feeling the raging desire to interact with each other. It's a deafening silence, a blinding nothingness, like being mesmerized into lack of five senses, unable to perceive our fellows humans even if one feet from them.

The IHS is a psychological trend of being on one's own to a much Greater degree than common and normal, to the point of failing to realize we aren't simply "not exceedingly chatty today", we are actually got sucked in this whirlpool of subtle apathy.

I wrote subtle because people under the spell of the IHS are not blatantly damaged in their character. The IHS is NOT that obvious. It's more like that overall spiritual situation where a beggar was stabbed on the sidewalk and it bled to Death because it was a on hour walk toward the first Healthcare point and during that walk NOBODY stopped to see why a man was crawling along a busy street leaving a trail of blood behind.

It happened in Detroit two year ago I seem to remember, but I could be wrong. The point is that it happened. Thousands of people shopping, each of them thinking "Bleargh a bleeding beggar!!!" which is theorically understandable on a cynical interpretation of sticking to one's business, the IHS was the lack of interest in the fact that somebody could have realized that NOBODY was helping him, and that it was a bit too much for a "civilized" society.

 

I can feel the IHS all around me. People striding along the road everybody talking to the cell phone, or listening to music, or simply ignoring the sorrounding world. People driving fast and ignoring everything that happens alongside the road. It isn't my business, isn't it? People clubbing together, in hundreds if not thousands, in night clubs, everybody dancing, NOBODY actually getting anywhere, with girls that wants nothing different than being desired but without the slightest interest in giving themselves to anybody, cutting at the very root any chance to consider a man worthy of them for that night, and boys reduced to cock-less parasites that can do nothing beside realizing all those soul-less plastic women are not there to fuck, but only to "fuck their minds"

 

 

[spywareonya 37,915]

The reason why we Witches put ourselves on display both sexually and spiritually, is to INFRINGE the IHS. We rock consciousnesses, we gather looks unto ourselves.

 

Why?

 

Friedrick Nietzsche used to say: "If you doesn't know yourself enough to be your own leader, at least find a leader that won't fuck your mind"

There is no best leader for each of us than ourselves. But somebody under the influence of the IHS is NOT his own leader: he is just alienated. He is not free: he is blind. He is not on the top of it all: he is just isolated.

As long as there will be people under the influence of the IHS, there will be the need for shocking actions.

And after it was defeated? THEN shocking actions would be a celebration for our happiness!!! They will be a marvellous daily celebration of life!

THUS we Witches will forever be loud sluts!!!

This means that everytime a Witch does something loud and slutty, it's impossible to tell if she is doing it to save somebody from isolation, or if she is doing it to celebrate the victory in company of her peers. Not because she hides it, but because the two are one, the intermingle like the water of a river into that of an ocean, like a star simply shines, it doesn't shine to provide life on a planet OR to provide solar energy to the technology of an advanced race. It does both, by just shining.

But this also mean that in order for me to do things in a way that motivates me, the amount of traffic I get (and I see on an overall stance around the forum) must NEVER get beneath a certain amount. What I give, I give in order to lure people unto me, to make them appreciate me and, in the end, to make them guess (and many did, PMing me about this) what creates a woman like me. At that point, I can explain to them how important is to build a character which relies on certain positive psychological stances, something which is not that simple at all, but first, they must crave for me. Elsewhere, why should they care about my ways?!

 

It would be FAKE to say I post stuff only to lure people into my war. Because things are not that way. The truth is that EVERY action of happiness is an act of war against the IHS... but it starts to be an act of forecoming victory… only if it is "re-blogged" over and over and over again through people's appreciation. Because the IHS is NOT about stopping people from creating good things: is a bout a much subtler threat. It's about noticing stuff… and just looking the other way, too dead inside to understand no ring means anything at all unless they join to make a chain.

So, likes and replies are A MUST, not because I need them… but because people's willingness to appreciate other people's work is the only way we can get Beyond our petty little world!!!

Edited February 10, 2019 by spywareonya

[spywareonya 37,915]

Why I am writing all of this?

Because something happened since the PeeFansCup in September. I did not wrote much during the following months, but I logged in from time to time… and I noticed a Dangerous trend taking strenght.

During January, it detonated with such force, that I witnessed with my own eyes the chat un-used for 30 HOURS IN A ROW and this happened thrice in a ten days. THRICE. Not to say that the forum seems to have completely forgot about me recently.

 

I am here to spice things up. I am here, just like I am present in each of the portions of my life that I still care for, in order to provide a never ending war against the IHS.

Many people fear loneliness because it unleashes their own inner insecurities.

I HATE loneliness (though it is useful and thus I sometimes actually look for it) because of what it came to be in modern times, i.e. lack of cheerful celebration.

I never saw so little traffic on this forum as I witnessed in the last month (and previous too weren't that great).

Not only toward me (though I was hurt, I won't lie about it), but on a general stance.

 

What's happening?

 

I will try to re-connect with people posting more stuff… but upon failure I could take dramatic measures. If I can't spice a certain place us, turning it into what every place must be (a comrades-esque, loud and cheerful place, utterly untouched by the slightest amount of IHS), I simply cull off that place from my life.

I HATE the IHS. I HATE when people ignore each other. I HATE PEOPLE when they ignore each other.

I have been taught with some deeply spiritual PMs by Admin that Peefans is a place that people will forever be able to rely on, here whenever they feel like coming back. I came to realize he is a really enlighted man, and very few can understand how much he made me grow up.

But I am not the owner of this place. I am a user who comes here to get what she needs. And I need a place where everybody get the amount of respect due to what they posted.

A place giving to me constant attentions and nothing to Others would becoe suspicious to me in a week. I don't need attentions, it's subtler. I need a place where people are warm-hearted enough to give them (not only to me) because they understand that elsewhere the forum would become a cold place.

 

I am not blackmailing people into contacting me: this time it has NOTHING to do with me. I am just amazed to the point of being abased:

where are everybody??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

 

Edited February 10, 2019 by spywareonya

[F.W 5,655]

Hiya!People do come and go from here,sometimes we dont notice.I hope you are ok and come back to us.

[spywareonya 37,915]

7 minutes ago, F.W said:

sometimes we dont notice

Oh, I wasn't addressing at you my friend. As you could see, I listed you since the beginning among those who care about the forum wellbeing. But it's really strange the impressive "down" phase things are undergoing.

I have been here since the beginning of the year, really nobody (beside my dearest friends like you and few Others) ever quoted or liked anything I posted. Also yours and Steve's reputation points increased very little...

people seems to have become cold

I absolutely don't like that...

[F.W 5,655]

Yes people seem to be less active lately,you always write most intelligently though we need to have your insights.

[spywareonya 37,915]

7 minutes ago, F.W said:

Yes people seem to be less active lately,you always write most intelligently though we need to have your insights.

Again, quite funny. You know how highly I treasure you, and indeed because you are a fucking great MAN. Maybe you are not the most reassuring she-boy modern women seem to look for (I feel you could be quite fearsome, with your braveness and sharp intelligence) but FUCK how much do I love people like you.

It's that suddenly… we remained just a bunch!!!

[F.W 5,655]

2 hours ago, spywareonya said:

What is the IHS for me? An acronym doubtlessly, but doesn't stand for In Hoc Signo.

It stands for INVISIBLE HUB OF SILENCE.

It's what Marx (that has to do with Stalin's so-called "Marxism" just as much Christianity has in common with the actual teachings of Christ, i.e ZERO) called "Alienation".

 

It's the empty space between people. The invisible wall that prevents people from feeling the raging desire to interact with each other. It's a deafening silence, a blinding nothingness, like being mesmerized into lack of five senses, unable to perceive our fellows humans even if one feet from them.

The IHS is a psychological trend of being on one's own to a much Greater degree than common and normal, to the point of failing to realize we aren't simply "not exceedingly chatty today", we are actually got sucked in this whirlpool of subtle apathy.

I wrote subtle because people under the spell of the IHS are not blatantly damaged in their character. The IHS is NOT that obvious. It's more like that overall spiritual situation where a beggar was stabbed on the sidewalk and it bled to Death because it was a on hour walk toward the first Healthcare point and during that walk NOBODY stopped to see why a man was crawling along a busy street leaving a trail of blood behind.

It happened in Detroit two year ago I seem to remember, but I could be wrong. The point is that it happened. Thousands of people shopping, each of them thinking "Bleargh a bleeding beggar!!!" which is theorically understandable on a cynical interpretation of sticking to one's business, the IHS was the lack of interest in the fact that somebody could have realized that NOBODY was helping him, and that it was a bit too much for a "civilized" society.

 

I can feel the IHS all around me. People striding along the road everybody talking to the cell phone, or listening to music, or simply ignoring the sorrounding world. People driving fast and ignoring everything that happens alongside the road. It isn't my business, isn't it? People clubbing together, in hundreds if not thousands, in night clubs, everybody dancing, NOBODY actually getting anywhere, with girls that wants nothing different than being desired but without the slightest interest in giving themselves to anybody, cutting at the very root any chance to consider a man worthy of them for that night, and boys reduced to cock-less parasites that can do nothing beside realizing all those soul-less plastic women are not there to fuck, but only to "fuck their minds"

 

 

You are absolutely right.How many millions of people go out looking for possible partners,yet never even try.As a guy its seemed to me the girls were looking for a very certain kind of man,but not the kind that they would find generally.So contributing to societies loneliness.Maybe getting even asked on a date,yet refusing because they only date rich men etc..But themselves then feeling lonely because they were on the shelf.

[F.W 5,655]

2 minutes ago, spywareonya said:

Again, quite funny. You know how highly I treasure you, and indeed because you are a fucking great MAN. Maybe you are not the most reassuring she-boy modern women seem to look for (I feel you could be quite fearsome, with your braveness and sharp intelligence) but FUCK how much do I love people like you.

It's that suddenly… we remained just a bunch!!!

Thank you.No im a nice guy,but i dont believe in this soppy pandering to women that is demanded.I open doors etc,but if you slept at my house i would most probably at least try to look up your nightie as you slept!(is that not PC anymore?)

[spywareonya 37,915]

13 minutes ago, F.W said:

You are absolutely right.How many millions of people go out looking for possible partners,yet never even try.As a guy its seemed to me the girls were looking for a very certain kind of man,but not the kind that they would find generally.So contributing to societies loneliness.Maybe getting even asked on a date,yet refusing because they only date rich men etc..

I Always faced this since being a Young girl. Reflecting my place in the world…

My family wasn't poor, at all… and yet it had been unable to prevent me (or maybe it actually was responsible and I simply am unable to write it down?!) from a horribly abused childhood

I swore that I would have dated only men I could love… men that wouldn't ignore the cry for help of a destroyed little girl…  (again… the IHS...) Strong, good men like there are some on this forum. Alex, you, Steve, Scot… Owlman is a great man too… there are some...

 

Quote

 

 

But themselves then feeling lonely because they were on the shelf.

Yes. I would say I pity them. But they are the sole responsible. 

Edited February 10, 2019 by spywareonya

[spywareonya 37,915]

9 minutes ago, F.W said:

Thank you.No im a nice guy,but i dont believe in this soppy pandering to women that is demanded.I open doors etc,but if you slept at my house i would most probably at least try to look up your nightie as you slept!(is that not PC anymore?)

This means being a healthy male. Fuck this fake modern culture 🤣

[F.W 5,655]

Part of being a man IS being kind and respectful to women,yet not trying to be like one.Or vice versa indeed..As if being born female is some kind of disability and being male means youre a dangerous rapist.Its time society re-set itself,and tried to make everyone feel happy within the skin they were born in.

[spywareonya 37,915]

5 minutes ago, F.W said:

Part of being a man IS being kind and respectful to women,yet not trying to be like one.Or vice versa indeed..As if being born female is some kind of disability and being male means youre a dangerous rapist.Its time society re-set itself,and tried to make everyone feel happy within the skin they were born in.

One day I will e-mail you, through my lawyer, to ask for official permission to write this very sentence of you as mine in some pamphlets. Because in my opinion what you just wrote is THE ULTIME KEY TO STOP SEXISM AND SEX WARS ONCE AND FOR ALL

Not even God could have put it down in a better fashion. This is Bible, word by fucking word

[F.W 5,655]

Oh youre too kind.Its how i see where mankind seems to be going.Everyone going round apologising for themselves.

This is the stage we will get to if this goes on.

Boy to Girl:"Hi may i stick my worthless penis in you?"

Girl to Boy:"Police!Sex crminal here!"

[spywareonya 37,915]

15 minutes ago, F.W said:

Oh youre too kind.Its how i see where mankind seems to be going.Everyone going round apologising for themselves.

This is the stage we will get to if this goes on.

Boy to Girl:"Hi may i stick my worthless penis in you?"

Girl to Boy:"Police!Sex crminal here!"

Indeed this is where the envious misunderstood feminism led us. I am woman, for fuck's sake, but all of this hatred against you boys MUST STOP.

I mean, what the hell… why considering men as violently Dangerous unless, in first place, there was aggression in the woman's mind, uh?! When I walk down the street with obscenely short skirts and traverse dark alleys filled with Dangerous men, the never bother me, not only because I got a reputation back in the times of gang life (or because many got help from me about occult problems and fear my actual capabilities) but mainly because they SENSE I DON'T JUDGE THEM. NEVER EVER.

Back in the past women were treated like objects by men. Ok, we fought to be recognized as peer, we did the right thing. But Mdern Sex wars are about envy and grudge, not about equality. And they were started by women. Men could do nothing but fighting. We should stop all of this.

(Also, I have to admit that my religious beliefs steps in a bit, as Witchcraft is highly hierarchical and we praise men worthy of this definition...)

Edited February 10, 2019 by spywareonya

[F.W 5,655]

What you say is right.Women should be able to dress as they like,and if we guys find it sexy we should be able to compliment without fear of arrest.

[spywareonya 37,915]

9 minutes ago, F.W said:

What you say is right.Women should be able to dress as they like,and if we guys find it sexy we should be able to compliment without fear of arrest.

As a great feminist once said, "A man without cock is not a man anymore". You guys should be able to appreciate us girls. You know what could be the point, theorically speaking? As I faced this myself… sometimes, boys are NOT spiritually polite when making appreciations. You got the innate courtesy of old school privateers. Many modern boys are just rude, and indeed that is not laudable. Maybe it's THAT that bothers women.

But I conquered the strenght I needed to be feared, respected and loved. Why shouldn't other women do the same?!

[spywareonya 37,915]

Anyway, thank you for all of this… I DEFINITELY need more of this...

[Kylenut2 254]

15 hours ago, spywareonya said:

Last year, after a roaring start, something happened. During January, I began to be ignored, surpassed by some other contents that were offering something more immediately enjoyable than mine, and this hurt me, yet without realizing why. I left, offended that people were failing to realize the true meaning of what I was giving to this forum… the funny thing, is that gun-to-the-head, it wasn't exactly clear not even to me...

 

I never stopped logging it, but I stopped to post, until late Spring. After being back, it was quite obvious to me that the persons that overrun me into people's hearts weren't a rising star, but a shooting star, and indeed I never heard of them again. The point is not them. They did nothing to undermine me. The point is that I failed to make people understand I was giving something precious, more than the actual pics. I needed a balanced response to what I gave.

 

But why? Why people should have cheered me up that much? 

 

It may sound just Ego. But it isn't. I was a woman on a mission. I just hadn't realized it yet. I was blinded by personal anxieties that were fueling my desires… but though they were INDEED part of my craving… they were NOT the core. At the beginning, I failed to realize it.

 

I thought it was need for self-validation. Admin helped me going much Beyond all of that.He provided something that in psychology is called "positive diffractor", it means somebody that, though deeply loving you, doesn't give you what you yell for, in order for you to understand that you are just illuding yourself, and what you crave for is just a mask for something else.

I did not need glory. I needed visibility, and control over the amount of it I was getting. Still, I couldn't grasp the reasons behind my passionate craving.

 

Helped and sorrounded by my friend, among which I can list tens of persons, but above all Steve, Scot, Sophie, FannyWatcher, MarkJ, Bpb and many Others, I plunged into myself to confute my deep unconscious… life also forced my hand. I underwent a mourning during November, and the bankrupt of the society I have been working under for years, in December, that's also why I have been absent in those months.

 

Now, I am a completely different person, and I know why I am here. I know what I want from this forum, and from my life. I know why I left upon failing to obtain it last Winter, and why sometimes I feel like I have been losing interest in logging in as I have been almost completely ignored since I have been back at the beginning of the year.

I know I'm not active at all but I do enjoy when you post things of any kind, not just pictures and such. I'm sure it dont make any difference but I am glad your still here.

[spywareonya 37,915]

1 hour ago, Kylenut2 said:

I know I'm not active at all but I do enjoy when you post things of any kind, not just pictures and such. I'm sure it dont make any difference but I am glad your still here.

And I am delighted to get this from you. The Bosses too noticed a bit of exceeding fragmentation, that's why they engineered the PeefansCup. It was a smart move, but they are leaders, not tyrants, they can encourage but cannot coherce… and after the Cup ended… it all started to roll anew

I am seriously displeased. I am even starting to suppose it's because I am a woman. Men are, maybe, stronger, or simply different. I can't stand when something created with all your heart and your soul… doesn't get what it deserves, and goes wasted. If it happens, I simply stop post stuff.

And am utterly displeased by the fact that during almost two months of being back, I was flatly ignored. Nothing of my EIGHT THOUSANDS posts were visited, beside a bunch of them. I undress to start communication. I can't see any by now...

But THANK YOU for this post. It means a lot to me

[WantonLee 823]

Nancy, I am not quite sure what you expect us to do. Or what you think this forum is. Or what you think we are, or how we live our lifes. Or why you choose to be so invested in this forum in particular, and not in an other forum (what ever forum this might have been). Apart from the pee-thing, there appears to be very little common ground for people here to stand on (which in my experience is often the case, regardless of what the topic of the forum is).

I know of cause from personal experience how frustrating it is to write a text, and being really invested in it, putting all your heart in... and then it falls flat.

People want to be heard, but do not listen as much as they talk.
This is always the problem with any kind of forum that has more then about 3 or 4 participants.
Beause you can only listen to so much, befor you try to get yourself heard.
This is why I prefer a dialogue (or PM's) over forums, when I want to talk about something specific. Forums can be nice to seed ideas - like bait - and see who bites. But not much else.
Many threads that start with many people talking back and forth tend to end with just 2-4 people in a kind of dialogue. While this might not be the intention of the thread starter, it's just what happens.

 

I can only speak for myself, and so will do.
The more people post in a forum, the more I have to read, and the less chance I have to make a contribution. I am not a quick writer. English is not even my native tongue, and I have to rely on translation sites very often (reading as well as writing).
I also am not able to give quick and short replies. I tend to think a lot about what has been said and what I could answer. I try to look at a subject from as many angles as possible, to make up my mind. This is one of the reasons why I have like... 300 posts in this forum and you - in half the time, have... errr... about 25 times as many posts. I'm an overthinker. One could also argue that you just have a quicker grasp and a clearer mind.

In short, I simply do not have the time to read anything written in this forum, AND give a reasonable reply. When I come home from work I have like 4 -6 hours befor I need to go to bed. And this forum is not my life - it's just part of it. When I come home I first and foremost want to come down and relax. I do this mostly by watching some video's on youtube or play some videogames. My job is not a very fullfilling one - I do it for the money, because without money to pay for stuff you simply die... more or less quickly. And befor you die you are not even concidered a real person, because real persons have jobs and help the gross national product to grow. If you do not do that you're just a parasite.
 Would money not be an issue, I would have looked for a new job years ago. A job where I can be me, do something that has a meaning to me. At this point in my life I have actually forgotten who I am and what I want to do. I have nowhere to start my search from, even though years ago I really tried to figure out.. well... essentially I tried to figure out who I am, and what I am good at. I even had professional help... that did not help me at all. In the end, I fell in a hole so deep that I haven't bothered to climb back up to the point from which I fell. I can't even see the light up above anymore, for it being so far away.
 I am not blaming anyone here. I just want you to understand why I am not constantly replying to each and every thread or post or click on "Like", even if I do like what I read...  I am just tired, that all.
I am not lazy, just clueless.

Btw, I also have no Facebook or twitter account. People have soooooo many friends on facebook.....  no, you haven't. It's just people you vaguely know from the internet. Most of them wouldn't even qualify as acquaintances in real life. Some of them MIGHT become your friends, but that is rare, and should be. You can't have hundreds of friends... you just can't. Not if you want the meaning of the word "friend" to be diluted into meaninglessness.

 

Let's face it: most people came to this forum because they have some kind of pee fetish (as you know there is a wide variety, not just one).
They want to get some videos, pictures or stories to turn them on. Talk about it, again for a turn on.
Many people, most of them male, came to this forum in order to find a partner. I sure did  - it's  80% of the reasons why I did register, although the number of people from my country are negligible. (And none of them are female, anyway).
I am certainly not the only one with this in mind, as far as I can make out in some of the posts from other male members.
Anything that is not pee-fetish related? People will automatically pay less attention to it. It's just the nature of this forum. (Or any other forum revolving around a specific topic.)

That being said, you have made quiet a difference in the past two years. While there have always been threads in this forum that were not about the fetish, you have certainly made many people her think about things the have not thought about befor. You even have made a couple of people thing differently about their fetish. Me, for instance.
I have no idea where this will lead me, so allow me to not thank you yet, but when (or rather if) this will turn out to be a good thing.

 

If you chose to go on and leave this forum behind, and try your luck at another place (wether this might be a different forum or a real place), you might end up in the same spot, sooner or later. In the same situation. UNLESS that place is specifically tuned in to what you want to talk about.

Just because people are not constantly replying to everything you do (or anyone else does) does not mean you (or anyone else) isn't appreciated.
I, for one, am not a like a dog who wags his entire ass (not just the tail) when someone he loves comes back, and tries to lick his/her face for half an hour. I am more like a cat, that rubs his body at your legs and then goes back to his sleeping place. Because now, that you are back, everything is alright.

 

And btw, I think the fact that you are a women has actually helped you.
Maybe again it's just me, but when it comes to talking about intimate things I never talk about it with other men. Can't say why. I just don't feel comfortable talking to man about this kind of things.
Sssooo... should we ever meet in real life, remind me that I owe you a hug. (If Alex doesn't mind.)
And don't worry that not all of your seed's will grow - sometimes just one going up can be enough to change the world. Just seed at your own pace. Forrests don't grow over night.

 

P.S.: writing this down took me - with spell-checking and looking for the right words and phrases in a translator - about two hours. Just to give you an idea why I'm not posting very often. Btw., I actually planed to reply to Riley's "What would you do?" thread today... well, maybe tomorrow. It might be an equally long reply... .

[spywareonya 37,915]

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

Nancy, I am not quite sure what you expect us to do. Or what you think this forum is. Or what you think we are, or how we live our lifes. Or why you choose to be so invested in this forum in particular, and not in an other forum (what ever forum this might have been). Apart from the pee-thing, there appears to be very little common ground for people here to stand on (which in my experience is often the case, regardless of what the topic of the forum is).

Intensity in everything you do, just because you know that either you are intense or you are wasting your life, is a choice. It has nothing to do with common ground. People should just realize they have no reason to abstain from pressing the reaction button or write a quick, happy comment beneath a post

 

You already told me your fears. You misunderstand "strenght" and "intensity". You say that your enormous sensitivity prevent you from being strong. But I am not talking of strenght. I am talking of headlong-ness. Even the most shy and embarassed and doomed-by-his-own-demons human can simply decide to grin an lash out instead of cowering in fear in front of life. It's not about being strong. Is about understanding the fact that

EACH OF US BUILD THE WORLD. WHAT WORLD DO YOU WANT TO BUILD WITH EACH CHOICE YOU MAKE?

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

I know of cause from personal experience how frustrating it is to write a text, and being really invested in it, putting all your heart in... and then it falls flat

Guess what? Your stuff is never flat to my eyes. It can be to the eyes of those people that fails to treasure good intentions shown by their fellow humans.

 

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

- like bait - and see who bites. But not much else.

I am NOT against that. I give stuff that makes people biting. Unless they are spellbound by the IHS. People spellbound by it, simply refuse to cheer up anything. They are possessed by a subtle nihilism that brings them to be Always un-grateful.

 

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

the more I have to read, and the less chance I have to make a contribution

OK, I can dig that, but try to think otherwise: more chances to communicate, more chances to achieve FRENZY, which is the core of Enlightment. You are Deutch, aren't you? Vikings descends from Deutches. YOUR people invented the Berzerk. Odin Himself meant "Frenzied".

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

I'm an overthinker.

That is your greatest feat. Your flaw is that you fail to realize you have the right and the duty to make yourself known.

And crush whoever tries to pack you up in your room. Governments, religion, they are just a facade. The true Enemy is inside. It's not lack of self-comfidence: only idiots are self-comfident. Is missing to understand that even the one most lacking courage and self-comfidence, can speak his fucking mind!!!!!!!!! And lash out against the system!!!

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

And this forum is not my life

I have been absent from it since Halloween. It's  not mine, either. But here I found somebody among the best persons I ever met in my life.

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

no, you haven't

Ahaha, I have NO internet life AT ALL beside this forum, so I quite agree. But I don't require friendship. That would be require too much. Just bonding. You don't need friendship to just choose not-to-ignore somebody.

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

Let's face it: most people came to this forum because they have some kind of pee fetish (as you know there is a wide variety, not just one).
They want to get some videos, pictures or stories to turn them on. Talk about it, again for a turn on.

Then why they ignore my nude pics or pee videos, which are peer to most of the stuff found on the web, plus the one starring in them is more than willing to friendly chat?! If I uploaded my stuff on Pornhub now I would be world famous. But I chosed this forum. Because it's a GREAT place. Among the best of the world. Or at least, it was. Now, it's greatly down-tone… 

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

You even have made a couple of people thing differently about their fetish. Me, for instance.

This is because I love instinctively everybody, stopping only when they fail me. But I wasn't born so filled with light. My Path made me this way. What I propose about being more tight as a community… is good from experience. People should reflect on my advices. But everybody feel so blue and detached recently!!!

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

f you chose to go on and leave this forum behind, and try your luck at another place (wether this might be a different forum or a real place), you might end up in the same spot, sooner or later. In the same situation. UNLESS that place is specifically tuned in to what you want to talk about.

It's so hard to understand? I WANT to talk about fetish! I just can't accept my TENS of porn personal contents to go ignored!!! I shared them in order to BOND with people, create a web of friendship! In the beginning I tought I was after vanity… but what I really was fighting against… was isolation. Not mine only… of every human in this fallen world.

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

Just because people are not constantly replying to everything you do (or anyone else does) does not mean you (or anyone else) isn't appreciated

You are right, but things got a bit out of hands!!! I am completely being ignored!!!

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

. I just don't feel comfortable talking to man about this kind of things.

Because you feel they are plain and spiritually dull. We have the same enemy. Not other people: their inner Demon. They are our allies in fighting that. We must save them from their dullness, shaking them somehow. I whore it out, happily. But I require for it to lead somewhere.

 

3 hours ago, WantonLee said:

Forrests don't grow over night.

If you plan to invest all your money (symbolically) into something, it MUST give you some return. I want bonding. Friendship. Reactions (NOT strictly in the guise of the likes, I mean I want to shock/shake people).

 

Thank you for this marvellous answer. I ABSOLUTELY loved it. And beside, it helped me to clarify my thoughts for everybody ever reading. Alex isn't a jelous man, here is my spiritual hug for you!!!

Edited February 12, 2019 by spywareonya