new2this

I really like this story. But at the same time it's also a bit hard to read, not because of your English, but because of the punctuation. More paragraphs and some indentation after quotes would make this a lot better reading experience, please consider: https://litreactor.com/columns/talk-it-out-how-to-punctuate-dialogue-in-your-prose The most important thing I would say is that each dialogue should start a new paragraph. I really don't wan't to come across as a dick, in fact, I really like this story, and want to continue reading it, but it could use a few small changes.

Sooooo, when will we get tread about htis pee party? Awesome chapter BTW.

Hmmm... Looks like we are, actually.

Contrary to my name, I am not new to this. I'm a guy from the midwest and despite being 27 I've been pretty consistent with my fetish for 8 or so years, and even a bit before that too. I love golden showers, but only if both participant are looking to be enjoying it. I especially love it when girls get their hair soaked with pee. I don't think I've seen anyone else mention having a thing for that around here? I come from a background in film and I am a stickler for video quality. You old people like that SD stuff and I just can't get into it as easily as 720p. :P I came here becaus

Yes, let's all talk about how great our fetishes are, but shit on other peoples, because that's totally what this thread is about.

Welcome!

Yeah, well, people suck. This is the world we live in, where we can't talk about sex and divulging fetishes is weird. I agree with you, obviously, but I think it's best you stop caring so much about what others think. In fact I think that's good advice for life.

This was great, you got any more like this?

Who's coming in now!? Is it Lucille? This is such a weird fanfic, but I like it.

Bunch of plebs!

Yeah! Fuck Mongolia!

That's fucking great Wetwulf. Does Janice have a daughter too?

You can have him.

Guys, The Donald is one of us. I have no idea how to feel about this.

This was great. Thank you.

Now you're never going to get a tip! Great story.

Kiki is such a great influence on all these young women.

Doesn't matter as long as it's on someone.

Wow! Cool direction for the story!

I don't mind as long as you keep adding to it.

Jennifer Lawrence, Ariel Winters, Evan Rachel Wood. Those are basically just my celebrity crushes. But really I'd love to watch anyone I have a crush on pee.

I read this entire thing over this week. Great story. Would love to read more.

This was great! I love how much sex happened in this.

Aw, is this dead? Would love some more.

Thanks! Yeah pee is sterile coming out but its filled with all sorts of stuff bacteria love and I would imagine that's why it smells after a while. I think just after it comes out though, it's pretty inoffensive.