Scot_Lover 1,876 Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 2 minutes ago, spywareonya said: I used the name of Ammit to describe Her, and yes, Ammit of the Scales of Justice, yes. Obviously She doesn't devour souls, I chose to use the name of Ammit simply because Ammit was the ultimate filthgrinder of the Egyptian mythology For what concerns my world... yes... thank you from the heart... I'll get back to you on this later. There is so much that I keep going back to the beginning of the thread. I know Ammit never devoured the soul, she ate the heart (or cast it into the lake) consigning the poor unfortunate to endless restlessness. The soul wandered lost and alone, unable to meet Osiris and continue to the afterlife. This was the ancient Egyptian cast on things, is it still similar now? She was pictured as a crocodile/hippopotamus/lion creature. 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted June 27, 2018 Author Share Posted June 27, 2018 1 minute ago, Scot_Lover said: I'll get back to you on this later. There is so much that I keep going back to the beginning of the thread. I know Ammit never devoured the soul, she ate the heart (or cast it into the lake) consigning the poor unfortunate to endless restlessness. The soul wandered lost and alone, unable to meet Osiris and continue to the afterlife. This was the ancient Egyptian cast on things, is it still similar now? She was pictured as a crocodile/hippopotamus/lion creature. The Egyptian Ammut is a symbol of what happens whan you chose the path of black magick ten lives in a row. You become impossible to save. I chose this name for Her as a "bouncer" against evil. If you prefer, use Sekhmet. The image of Ammut was a symbolical one, those three animals has spiritual symbolisms, and all of this is not that fitting with the entity I am describing, or maybe is, I don't care that much. I never said She is Ammut: I only said I would have used that name, like I did with every other God and Goddess. 1 1 1 Link to post
Scot_Lover 1,876 Posted June 27, 2018 Share Posted June 27, 2018 1 minute ago, spywareonya said: The Egyptian Ammut is a symbol of what happens whan you chose the path of black magick ten lives in a row. You become impossible to save. I chose this name for Her as a "bouncer" against evil. If you prefer, use Sekhmet. The image of Ammut was a symbolical one, those three animals has spiritual symbolisms, and all of this is not that fitting with the entity I am describing, or maybe is, I don't care that much. I never said She is Ammut: I only said I would have used that name, like I did with every other God and Goddess. Ah, ok, ok. I'm trying to relate your names with my research. Sorry for the mix up. 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted June 27, 2018 Author Share Posted June 27, 2018 Just now, Scot_Lover said: Ah, ok, ok. I'm trying to relate your names with my research. Sorry for the mix up. oh it is a wrong action, since the names I choose are really to avoid calling Them by numbers like Sumerians did, they fittingness of the name is baout the 5% ahahahahahaha 2 1 Link to post
steve25805 126,015 Posted June 29, 2018 Share Posted June 29, 2018 Wow, that was an interesting read, and so much to take on board. Not even sure I have grasped it all. Certain aspects in our subconscious that we view as morally wrong - the ability to be sadistic or cruel or to kill, for example - are in fact neither bad nor good? They are just natural? It is not bad to do these things but only if we do it to someone for base and selfish reasons, who does not deserve it? Are you saying - is Ammut saying - that all the negativity we associate with things we view as bad within ourselves is a barrier to the true understanding of their nature? That neither violence nor love are themselves good or bad, but the purpose behind them is everything? Ie, whether it is fitting or not? Is it as stark as this...…? If I torture a victim purely for fun, because I get off on it, the actual act is neither good nor bad, it is just something that naturally is, but the REASON is evil, and this makes it evil? But if I torture a bad person to gain info that rescues a dozen children about to be murdered by terrorists, again the act is neither good nor bad but the reason is fitting, and that makes it good? I understand the logic but I do struggle with the concept. I have a very powerful moral code by which the former is assumed to be intrinsically evil and torture always is an evil in my moral code. The latter would also be an evil, but perhaps under some circumstances a necessary evil for the greater good. That is what my morality, my own conscience, teaches me. Ammut traches me to abandon that morality? And recognise that nothing of itself is evil or good, and everything is natural? That only the purpose behind it determines whether it is good or bad, ie how fitting it is? And that there are potential circumstances when the utmost cruelty or sadism or violent brutality can be fitting and therefore good? I must confess that this line of thought leads me into some uncomfortable imaginings. If someone did terrible things and his soul was evil, it would be right to end his life, for his own soul's sake too? Would executing such a person in a prolonged and painful way be good for his soul and therefore fitting? And where would that leave those who gained a sadistic pleasure from His suffering? A pleasure that is NOT fitting? I have always mostly opposed the death penalty anywhere on the basis that no justice system is infallible. When I have wavered it has been an emotional reaction driven by disgust and anger in response to some exceptionally terrible crime. Such reactions are understandable but also emotive and unfitting. I see life itself as sacred, yet at the same time know this life is only a passing phase in an immortal journey. Leaving it is like changing a dress as you say. I struggle to reconcile the two if I must be honest. Seeing things like sadism, torture, cruelty and murder as neither good nor bad but the motives and reasons behind them determining whether they are good or bad, is a tough one for me. My morality and conscience - viewing cruelty and sadism themselves as intrinsically bad things in their own right - is a difficult thing for me to reject. And am not at all sure that I really wish to abandon these moral certainties. Because they seem to me to be an important part of who I am and the way I think about the world. Some things seem so intrinsically bad to me in themselves - eg sadism, which is basically gaining pleasure from cruelty inflicted upon others- that I truly don't think I can see them as anything but evil in their own right, regardless of whether in some way "fitting" or not. I am gaining an insight into the psychological difficulty of your spiritual journey, and my understanding of the world as you see it is growing. I don't think I can, however, least not without a lot of persuasion and guidance, see things quite as Ammut teaches, though I respect Her of course. I have always been a deeply moral person in some ways, so the barriers of conscience and internal morality are exceptionally strong in me. I have never viewed this as a bad thing, and am reluctant to try. Just my initial thoughts. Giving up my moral certainties about some things is a very tough ask of me. My whole life, my political involvement, my personal interactions - everything about my life - is built around these moral values. They are the very foundations upon which the character known as me are built. 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted June 29, 2018 Author Share Posted June 29, 2018 (edited) @steve25805 the concerns you raised are perfectly agreeble, indeed your morality "drive" is the key Let me explain better The instinct to be terrible is just a tool evoultion put in us: nothing in us is evil But you are right raising concerns, because indeed there is a subtle fact that your heart feels and that is right in making you uncomfortable Our EGO The drive to kill and torture is just a series of acts you perform driven by hormons. BUT INDEED since it was built by Good, it is programmed NOT to be stirred out like nothing. 99% when we feel it sourging, it has been activated by a flaw in us, and is utterly right to tell it to shut up For Death penalty, you are right opposing it, because the DRIVE to kill is linked to eliminating a threat: he is arrested, even if actually guilty and un-repenting, who cares? He is ALREADY neutralized, Killing him would be wrong! The drive to do terrible acts is just a tool, but if we really, really look within its depths, we 99% of the times find anxiety, hatred, stubborn intolerance, even if on the Surface it only felt like a "honourable gladiator fight" Your heart simply screams that almost NEVER is this drive sourging for the same reasons it could sourge in a "perfected" creature And he is right! Only, since he has only a portion of your own IQ, he can only screams NO NO NO, and he's right about that Then you have to interpret Your drive to love is sincere, and you think it is embodied in your "moral" Now imagine yourself without any moral, but guided and overseen by your drive to love and protect You would be good in the same exact manner, different only in your mindset This is indeed the real reason behind the deeply misunderstood concept of "Predestination" of the Protestants Nobody is predestined to hell or heaven, it is pathetical and blatant, but indeed, the core-concept before men misunderstood it, is that if you are instinctively good-hearted, you could also live never hearing of what "morality" is, you would be identical, fiery and gentle, protectful and brave Ammut brings away the overstressing of others's Worth, an action we perform to prevent our cinical part form surfacing, a part which brings along un-healed pains in our souls, and we should heal those pains thus erasing the violence they convey, instead of keep repressing that pains, and later repress the violence-surfacing-from-them too, claiming we are innocent Indeed is noble to refrain from violence, but even more noble is to face the pains that engender it: an hypothetical completely happy man would still have the kill-drive in himself: but how hardly do you think it could be stirred up? You are not good because of your moral, Steve, you are good because your soul is so evolved that looks for the power to help Others, building an army of like-minded individuals who will not sin, thus eroding the need for punishment itself You are a loving person, THIS makes you good, and you would refrain from wrong actions ALSO without moral Or at least, this is what you theorically should do If you feel you still hides some grudge under your moral, it's ok to keep it in check, but maybe you could do a good thing to your heart to ease it, or one day your moral will not be enough to keep it down, and it could Surface through emotional anxiety, sensation of failure, or anger Ammut brings away illusions BUT THE DRIVE TO BE GENTLE IS NOT AN ILLUSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Edited June 29, 2018 by spywareonya 1 2 Link to post
steve25805 126,015 Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 So I abhor certain things such as sadism and cruelty neither because they are intrinsically evil - such drives within us are mere tools - nor because of my morals, my inner sense of what is right and wrong? I abhor such things because my soul is good? And I would abhor them even if my entire concept of morality were stripped away? My moral code, built actually not from anything theoretical but from deeply felt beliefs in my heart, basically boils down to this..... I believe it to be fundamentally wrong to do unto others what I would not want done to myself, unless they have behaved in some bad way that deserves it. I also have a powerful innate belief in "fairness", which infuses my whole way of looking at what is right and wrong in the world, including my politics. And I generally abhor hatred and bigotry of any kind and value open-hearted non-judgementalism. But I do not believe this moral code comes from nowhere. I don't believe I have theorised it into existence. I believe it to be something that is part of my developed soul, and the only theorizing involved is the effort I use to put it into words. Having said that I have developed in this life too. I was a very flawed human being in my younger days, and used forms of intellectualisation to subvert my sense of right and wrong, for example telling myself that it was ok to join with others to steal crates of lager from a local brewery because it was a wealthy company overcharging us all anyway. But in reality it was never a moral statement, just a desire to get pissed for free. I recognise some of the wrongness in my past in this life and have become a better person because of that. I am totally confident that in the bigger picture, this incarnation is a spiritual success because I am moving towards my life's end a much better person than I used to be, more in tune with the inner goodness of my soul. That inner goodness was always there. Going against it always required a great deal of moral and intellectual acrobatics to justify it to myself. I was never someone who just didn't care. But this morality is not some code of rules I have conjured up. I feel it deep down into the depth of my soul. Morality is therefore probably the wrong word in your terms. It is deeper than that, a part of my very essence. 2 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted July 1, 2018 Author Share Posted July 1, 2018 13 hours ago, steve25805 said: I abhor such things because my soul is good? And I would abhor them even if my entire concept of morality were stripped away? yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 13 hours ago, steve25805 said: used forms of intellectualisation to subvert my sense of right and wrong let me guess: and now you think you need a more strict moral code because you are grossed out by discovering you can't trust your brain I know because I did the same I just discovered that unconscious if filled with desires, and some of them are short-sighted In my Path (but also in simply psychotherapy) we talk to our desires, providing them our longer-sightedness 13 hours ago, steve25805 said: It is deeper than that, a part of my very essence. Only you can slowly and cautiously explore was is a self-forbidding out of spiritual embarass, and what is drive-to-goodness I absolutely trust you andn will be here to oversee this process!!! 1 1 1 Link to post
Scot_Lover 1,876 Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 My moral issue is nothing like this, not even sure if it fits in with the theme of this thread. I'll post it if you want, and you can maybe interpret / decide? I was from a fairly large family, and my father died when I was young, he was in his late 50's when I was born. I had a procession of aunts and uncles who passed through our lives to help my mother. She is still getting around ok, fit and healthy and 86 years old. I was taught to cherish all life, plants and animals as well as people. This has had the same affect on me as what @steve25805 has posted, no interest at all in inflicting hurt on any living thing. I've even shed tears when old trees have been bulldozed, it's the way I am. I have no idea where I fit in with this thread, am I noticed in the scheme of things? Would I know if I was? Keep this going @spywareonya, I'll be here until the end. 1 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted July 1, 2018 Author Share Posted July 1, 2018 2 hours ago, Scot_Lover said: no interest at all in inflicting hurt on any living thing. I've even shed tears when old trees have been bulldozed, it's the way I am. Fascinating reflection I cry even for snails crushed under car wheels Yet, feel a call toward aggressive self-adfirmation No interest in violence in itself, though had to face it because of Alex, he is ten times more sensitive and kind than me, but also feel a vertigo-like call toward Death and destruction, not on the standard human stance, blatant violence and hatred, no no, more like an ancient call to be timeless and emotionless like a reptile, the holy terror and moral vertigo of the merciless suppression of life In the meanwhile, heheheheh, he guides flies with his hands outside Windows so to avoid Killing them, and almost got stabbed to stop a kife-fight between gangs summoning their bosses to peace!!! Wide and complex my man, isn't him? 2 hours ago, Scot_Lover said: I have no idea where I fit in with this thread The Gods are real and are the only true entities of this planet Everybody theorically fits in this thread Singular persons anyway are not exactly not-noticed, it's more complex and more simple at the same time: The Gods are not faceless forces, They are living beings, They are not all-powerful, nor all-seeing, though believe me, Their magick is real and fucking incredible, They are really close to all-powerful for what concerns the extent of this planet, and much near to all-seeing, but indeed, They notice mainly those who serves Them, and those who are blessed by appreciation from these servents So, since Steve and you are considered by me as true and actual friends, They noticed you a bit!!! 2 hours ago, Scot_Lover said: Keep this going @spywareonya, I'll be here until the end. Unless something bad happens, I'll be here forever 3 Link to post
steve25805 126,015 Posted July 1, 2018 Share Posted July 1, 2018 7 hours ago, spywareonya said: let me guess: and now you think you need a more strict moral code because you are grossed out by discovering you can't trust your brain I know because I did the same I just discovered that unconscious if filled with desires, and some of them are short-sighted In my Path (but also in simply psychotherapy) we talk to our desires, providing them our longer-sightedness Only you can slowly and cautiously explore was is a self-forbidding out of spiritual embarass, and what is drive-to-goodness I absolutely trust you andn will be here to oversee this process!!! Er, not exactly. I do not feel the need for a stricter moral code. What I need and have acquired is an understanding of how I succumbed to innately selfish desires, using intellectual somersaults to subvert my morality, telling myself that the selfish thing I was doing was not so bad and conjuring reasons to justify it. I have learned to understand myself better now. I do not use intellectual gymnastics to justify doing bad things anymore. Some of my selfish and short-sighted desires were very conscious ones, but I know for sure that a lot lurks subconsciously. It does for all of us. But how much of our morality is just a set of rules learned by our EGO, internalised and enforced by the carrot and stick of guilt and shame if we break them, or happiness and contentment if we honour them? And how much is actually deeper, and an integral part of our souls? Because some of my core moral values and beliefs exist in a place beyond words, more deeply than any set of internalised rules, and are values learned by - and an innate part of - my soul! At least I strongly believe so. 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted July 10, 2018 Author Share Posted July 10, 2018 On 7/1/2018 at 9:20 PM, steve25805 said: Because some of my core moral values and beliefs exist in a place beyond words, more deeply than any set of internalised rules, and are values learned by - and an innate part of - my soul! At least I strongly believe so. I actually believe it True moral comes from the soul As said elsewhere, it is only important to avoid subtly mistaking ALL of our kind side for soul's innate goodness sometimes it is simply embarass toward the naughty things we can/should do 1 1 Link to post
steve25805 126,015 Posted July 10, 2018 Share Posted July 10, 2018 2 minutes ago, spywareonya said: I actually believe it True moral comes from the soul As said elsewhere, it is only important to avoid subtly mistaking ALL of our kind side for soul's innate goodness sometimes it is simply embarass toward the naughty things we can/should do It is true that I am a naturally kind and empathetic person. In astrological terms I suppose in most ways I am typically Cancerian. I also genuinely believe it is wrong to do to others what I would not like done to me unless they have done something or other to deserve it. And I have a powerful desire for fairness in all things. How much of that is innate to my soul, and how much just an internalised morality learned in this life, is hard for me to say or even figure out. I am aware of internal character flaws, though. I am emotionally very self-contained and don't tend to form strong bonds with many people. I am also aware of an inner selfish streak which sometimes has a mega fight with my basic goodness. At times - especially in my younger days - the good me did not always win that fight. I can also feel jealous in certain situations. So without your spiritual knowledge or guidance I have looked deep into my character with the courage to accept much of what I see. Knowing it and accepting it and integrating it correctly into my deeper self, and not trying to bury it and pretend it is not there, is the right thing to do, isn't it? Fully knowing myself is essential to move in the right direction, isn't it? So I guess I am - in total honesty - aware of negative aspects deep within myself which need to be accepted but controlled so I can fully develop in the right way. Is this right? We all have what most would regard as good traits and bad traits within us, though they are neither? Merely a natural part of us? And what matters is fully integrating them into ourselves instead of pretending they do not exist, so that we can master every aspect of ourselves. And thereby only do the right things in the right situations? Things that you would describe therefore as "fitting"? So my capacity for jealousy in certain circumstances then is neither bad nor good, just a natural part of me. But what matters is to express it only in situations where it might be fitting in some way, and a positive force, and master it when it would be something negative? To know yourself and understand yourself in all your aspects and act upon everything within you at the right time and in the right way, when it is fitting for the soul and the greater good, is important. Am I grasping it all properly yet? Some of this I almost instinctively knew before I met you. But your guidance is helping to clarify so much. Thank you. 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted July 10, 2018 Author Share Posted July 10, 2018 44 minutes ago, steve25805 said: We all have what most would regard as good traits and bad traits within us, though they are neither? Merely a natural part of us? NO Flaws exist as such I am saying our aggressive part is not inherently wrong but flaws are flaws!!! Jelousy comes from insecurity, so is a flaw You don't need it😘 1 2 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted July 11, 2018 Author Share Posted July 11, 2018 @steve25805 @Scot_Lover The time has come for the superstar!!! Lilith!!! Lilith is my Patroness, and is a multi-layered entity On every layer, She is the counterpart to Her sister Ammut, being the Eros side where Her is the Violence side In the first level, Lilith is sex, erotism, and every kind of stuff producing arousal. And I really mean everything. She is EVERYTHING producing arousal. Beside paedophilia, which She forgives because it comes from a problem yet absolutely do NOT endorse, She patronize ALL acts related not only to sex, but to the very arousal inscribed in living Laying naked on the shore with waves doing go-and-come around you Feeling breeze on your private But also eating tentacles from a living octopus, something I consider a bit cruel but can understand as vertigo-inducing She is the arousal and the guilt-sensation of cheating, with the latter being much more erotic than the former She is the vertigo of submission and humiliation She is the pleasure of control and dominance She is embarass, and the feeling of being possessed by a drive, whatever it is She is loss of control She is ALL you are afraid of admitting you like For me, is cruelty I hate cruelty Cannot stand it because those who use it 99% of times deserve NOT to wield it But in itself, the animal in me just wanna explore it like everything else I have explored ALL of myself in my life, except that, though I had been really cruel to some sex slaves (peeing on carpet they had to clean up before parents get back home, or in their drawers onto clothes and NOT as part of a game, farting in their mouth without notifying in advance, slapping them hard, pissing on their food during dinner, Always without it being part of a game, and many other things), but it did not completed my exploration of it, and indeed my deepest fantasies are much more evil, like Mexican Cartel torture about lesbian rape I sometimes fantasize about being a heartless crime lord, torturing and raping women who are the lovers of an enemy Other people had different secrets She doesn't endorse that in itself, this is very important She still is a Goddess of Good, so She passes Her judgement about fittingness on everything, no matter how much we desire it BUT She embodies the sensation we feel about de-censoring our deepest secrets De-censoring is the first step toward demolishing their over-heated attitude, transcending them For example, many men tell me they are horny about girls peeing in naughty places I love it too, but is less morbid to me since I already accepted it as normal This even diminish its pressure, and because of this, I would not do many of the most extreme actions repressed people fantasize about If you want something 7, and you just express it 5, you will end up desiring it 9, where maybe 8 was the turning point between kinky and evil So, instead of believing we want it 9, we should just try to have/express it 7, thus discovering we never wanted it more than 7, and we don't need 9 BUT if we stopped to 5, it means indeed we had some emotional problems about reaching 7 So, trying will shock us, even without the slightest intention to reach 9 or anyway surpass 8 She is the holy shock of passing from 5 to 7, eliminating the repression-explosion mechanism pushing us to desire to infring the 8-limit reaching 9, but facing, in doing it, all that usually prevented us from reaching 7 by standard, indeed stopping at 5 In the second Layer, Lilith is Love and Sex, in the less terrifying form, still naughty and kinky, but about pleasure and not shock All forms of love and erotism and romanticism are from Her Everything, from giving your "special friend" a flower when you are nine, to give her the Golden ring when you are thrice that age All fetishes are holy to Her All pleasures, also those unrelated to Sex She is Art, Food, Philosophy, Psychology, all that explore, purify, and gives pleasure She even rules playing videogames!!! In Her third and deepest level, things starts to get complex Here, She appears as the Queen of Winter, they only embodiement where She is presented as Blonde, while She usually is Red-haired Here, She is the embodiement of the Soul Sister to Ammut who, in Her deepest aspect, guards the Graal, the White/Blue Rose symbol of purity and immortality, here Lilith indeed IS that Rose She is beauty in the spiritual interpretation of the Word, which mean the perfect mixing of Fittingness and Pleasurableness She is Atonement, and the perfect but Dangerous beauty of Ice. Winter here represents a place whose harshness is not about "harshness in itself", and is more about a landscape under a situation (cold and snow) which forces people to not take things superficially, respecting the important forces which are around, in a romantic but also spectral scenario where all is un-distinguished but beautiful. This is place of Absolute perfection. And can only be described technically. Is the place where we are one with Fate, all our unconscious explored and erased, every instinct in perfect relationship with Reason and fittingness and emotions. Is the final place of the Pathwalker, but is not a place, is a state of mind Buddhists, which utterly misunderstood Buddha's teachings, call this state Nirvana Nirvana is not the elimination of the embodied life, nor of desires Nirvana is the elimination of the anxiety present in the unconscious, that subtly turns everything we do in a challenge against something or somebody else Lilith is the Patroness of seduction, witchcraft, spellbinding, domination, and all fetishes Now, it is the time to explain the deepest secret of Her relationship with Urine, explaining why I chose this forum as a stronghold which was fitting, and not simply a whim Lilith, as one of Her deepest embodiement, one of the few linked to Her aspect as Queen of Winter, is the Viking Witch-Goddess Gullveig Gullveig was not worshipped by Vikings, indeed She was considered too Dangerous to be called upon, and in later mythology, when Norsemen had been warped by christian dualism between good and bad, indeed She was considered evil, of the race of Loki the Sly (previously, God of Deceit and geniality and not evil) In Herself, Gullveig means "Golden Shower". The reason of this name is of the utmost importance, and under no circumstances to be taken lightly In the ancient past, the Huldras (Witches who served the Ancient Ones) used a complicated potion made of various hallucinogenic roots, Leaves and mushrooms, to expand their powers. Only the single Huldra could be conscious of the difference between plain and pointless hallucinations, and actually expanded real perceptions. It was a personal confrontation. BUT that potion, in itself, was so powerful, that only women who were experiences in decades of withcraft could control the emotionally-puzzling side-effects. Younger withces, just as much as men (whose hormonal production is different from women) could not substain it, and would have went mad, or dieing of heart-failure. There was only one way, so effective that the Druids also used it centuries later: an experienced Witch absorbed the potion, controlled it and digested it, and later passed a smaller (and hormonally slightly modified) amount of the active principles THROUGH HER PISS which was DRANK by other members Drinking the urine of the High-Priestess was the only way to experience contacts with Them without insanity or Death. Thus, the "Sprinkle of Gold" became an archetype, that of women serving These Entities. From this, Lilith empowered Her relationship with everything visceral and hormonal, to a point where it became Her trademark. This is the secret I have been hinting at since my first posts around here. This is the reason why I worship female piss beside the arousal it gives us all. This is Her message, just as much as Their collective teaching: purifying unconscious through embracing the dark, de-censoring what we superstitiously fear or reject. Atonement through Sin. Every question is welcome, but with most emotional cautiousness than before. I love and respect Them all this one last teaching is the one that put me through a life so horrible I considered suicide before meeting Alex. I was not a Witch already through I was in contact with Them, because I knew nothing of "what" I was in contact with. And my life was hell. I Always hoped there was an explaination, linking together spirit and matter, but more than anything Goodness and Kinkiness, purification of the unconscious AND expression of instincts She is my Saviour They saved my life in many ways, the most important is from insanity deriving from the unability to ease dualisms. By these teachings, I solved it all. She is Saviour. The Goddess of all us fetishists, better than those who judge us, yet judged nonetheless She is the one I adore and serve with my every action. The one who controls my Fate, lead to me what I want according to possibility, fittingness, and percentage of deserving-through-spiritual-quality-level of myself (which is not Always total!!!). She destroyes my enemies before they can even think about harming me. She protects me from consequences about my kinky actions. She answers all my questions and warp destiny to fulfil my desires. She is a God Who Listen To Prayers, though only those of a fully trained Witch. She is Lilith. Gullveig. Queen of Winter. And of Piss. And of my soul. 4 Link to post
steve25805 126,015 Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 So Lilith is a goddess of several layers, but a primary theme is love and eroticism? She is the goddess of all erotic desires except the warped one of paedophilia, even repressed desires people harbour within themselves and consciously reject? Of course, she is the goddess of all things sexually related to pissing but also everything else too? So I guess that anything that anyone is into, She is the goddess of. Coprophilia (which cannot be discussed further here as this is against forum rules), sado-masochism, bondage, rape fantasies, exhibitionism, foot fetishes. Anything? All fetishes of any kind? This I guess makes Her the ultimate in open-mindedness which is something I aim for and have the deepest respect for. You have confided something deep about yourself, a sexual interest in cruelty, and having a secret thing about Mexican drug cartel style tortures and whatever. Thing is, fantasies are often more extreme than anything anyone would want to do in reality. I once read a book about female sexual fantasies, thinking it might make me horny. It didn't actually but was instead psychologically interesting. Many harboured secret fantasies about being raped, though none wanted it to happen for real. One had a secret fantasy that involved sexual relations with a gorilla, I remember, which again was fantasy only and not something ever intended to be done for real. Even some aspects of my own piss fantasies are so extreme that they are fantasies only. Eg the notion of a sexy lady not only pissing everywhere in my home but leaving it laying around and never cleaning it up so that the place stinks of piss. As a fantasy that works for me, but in real life would never be able to live in a home that stinks of stale piss. In real life it would be way too gross. When a lot younger, for a relatively short period - because she lived in the flat above me at that time - I got to know this girl who was in hindsight going through a rocky patch, having herself experienced a troubled childhood that included sexual abuse.. She was heavily into drink and drugs and had been a prostitute, selling sex. She admitted to being "obsessed" with sex, and had an air of "anything goes" about her. But she also had stuff going on in her head that was very dark, fantasising about murder, torture, and death in a way that seemed to arouse her. At that time in my life I was going through a bad patch myself and reacted badly to a lot of this, unable to understand the difference between reality and fantasy. Because I suspect now that much of this is stuff she'd never ever have done for real, and I have - without in any way contacting her - recently found her on Facebook, and she appears to have totally turned her life around - a respected parent and charity worker, and involved in drug counselling work. Were we all to be judged on the content of our darkest or deepest or most extreme fantasies, then we'd be misunderstood I think. Because in reality, many of them are never meant to be real. Most women in reality do not want to be raped, or have sex with gorillas, or snuff out or torture people for kicks. I suspect, @spywareonya, that any truly cruel fantasies you have are in fact harmless expressions of yourself because they are understood to be only fantasies. Fantasies are a no limits zone, where our minds can take us where we can never go in reality. Perhaps - I don't know - there might be a revenge element too? You want to be cruel to those who have seriously fucked you over in the past? When people have been cunts to us, revenge fantasies can be very satisfying. Have enjoyed revenge fantasies myself in the past, though my mind never took the step of sexualising them. I can however understand how it can easily happen. Lilith is also - whilst being goddess of all things erotic - at the same time the goddess of all forms of beauty and love? Is it the combination of all forms of love and beauty, with eroticism on every level, which together equates to a kind of ultimate sexual perfection? Where pure love and full on eroticism come together? And Lilith as the goddess of golden showers. Naturally, that will make her popular around here, lol. Hallucinogenic drugs of some kind were once used by female witches of great experience - the only ones who could handle it - to achieve a mind-expanded state that opened them up to deeper realities? And the only way to share any of this safely with others was to have them drink their piss? Very interesting. But isn't love of piss - the eroticism of it - based upon a lot more than this functional purpose? The notion of being peed on or pissing on somebody is arousing on a very deep level to those of us who understand it, for a variety of possible reasons. Some see it as the ultimate surrender to humiliation, the ultimate submission, to be peed on - or as the ultimate dominance, to be able to just piss on someone. In that sense it can have a submission/dominant theme, which at times manifests itself as a sub-activity on the S&M scene. For others though it is simply the ultimate act of eroticism, where to be peed on is the ultimate honour, the ultimate link with the eroticism of a partner, the ultimate expression of love and sex in combination. Lilith embodies all these aspects of pissing? Interestingly, those whose minds are closed to the eroticism of piss and only see it as disgusting, do seem to get the concept of being pissed on as a humiliation, and therefore as something "bad", however much the person being peed on wants it to happen. But the notion of being peed on as any kind of ultimate expression of love and sexuality, the ultimate sexual intimacy, seems beyond them. The naysayers seem incapable of understanding the concept of golden showers as anything other than one person degrading and humiliating another by pissing on them. The fact that as a consensual adult activity it is not at all like that for most of us, is something the naysayers cannot get their heads around. Pity Lilith cannot open their minds a bit more. I guess as the goddess of all things erotic, she is utterly against all forms of narrow-minded sexual judgementalism? I definitely honour and respect that of course. Certainly in many of your pictorial representations of her she seems highly eroticised, and imagining her as the ultimate goddess of watersports, pissing, golden showers, wet patches on carpets, is a very pleasant thing. She is also the goddess of winter and of our deeper souls? And of all pleasures and not just sexual ones? And of higher states of pure spiritual being akin to nirvana, where destiny and our spirituality are one and at harmony? If ever there were a goddess to love, She sounds like the one for me, lol. 2 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: So Lilith is a goddess of several layers, but a primary theme is love and eroticism? Purification Love as a reassurement about the fact we metaphysically deserve it, that all in existence (beside evil) deserves it 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: This I guess makes Her the ultimate in open-mindedness which is something I aim for and have the deepest respect for. 100% 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: she appears to have totally turned her life around - a respected parent and charity worker, and involved in drug counselling work. A story I witnessed so many times, also helping directly these persons The Gods care for them on a special stance 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: and reacted badly to a lot of this Beside the surely-already-done rationalisation about not being that much of a fault… forgive yourself There is shame in your aura as you talk about this self-harshness 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: Lilith is also - whilst being goddess of all things erotic - at the same time the goddess of all forms of beauty and love? Is it the combination of all forms of love and beauty, with eroticism on every level, which together equates to a kind of ultimate sexual perfection? Where pure love and full on eroticism come together? again, 100% 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: The notion of being peed on or pissing on somebody is arousing on a very deep level to those of us who understand it, for a variety of possible reasons. Absolutely yes Urine is our hormonal/quantistic trademark, therefore piss is a form of communication, a real one, like meta-verbal and verbal 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: Lilith embodies all these aspects of pissing? Paradoxically, more the romantic side that the BDSM side, but both indeed 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: Pity Lilith cannot open their minds a bit more I could quote a UK gothic metal band "...the truth is that Lilith's kingdome grows closer with the passing of time" 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: I guess as the goddess of all things erotic, she is utterly against all forms of narrow-minded sexual judgementalism? I definitely honour and respect that of course. Certainly in many of your pictorial representations of her she seems highly eroticised, and imagining her as the ultimate goddess of watersports, pissing, golden showers, wet patches on carpets, is a very pleasant thing. She is also the goddess of winter and of our deeper souls? And of all pleasures and not just sexual ones? And of higher states of pure spiritual being akin to nirvana, where destiny and our spirituality are one and at harmony? once again, 100% 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: Most women in reality do not want to be raped, or have sex with gorillas, or snuff out or torture people for kicks. I suspect, @spywareonya, that any truly cruel fantasies you have are in fact harmless expressions of yourself because they are understood to be only fantasies. Fantasies are a no limits zone, where our minds can take us where we can never go in reality. Perhaps - I don't know - there might be a revenge element too? I left this for last Yes, fantasy can exorcize things we would never do But in me, the thing is more complex I could do those things, was ever to exist somebody who deserved them I am not grossed out by action in itself, I am eventually grossed out from the thought of treating somebody worse than deserving If the Gods forgive even a criminal, and teach us to avoid projecting our un-surpassed dark side onto him, who could deserve such a treatment? How hard is the fitting punishment? They look quite merciful about that, though indeed They look at the question more on a "mathematical" scale rather than a morally-afraid one... I will never allow myself to do things harsher than what They know could be fitting, and almost no humans deserve to be tortured But was ever one to exist that REALLY deserves it, I would do I want to master all fringes of existence Also the dark, though I quite indeed prefer light!!! 6 hours ago, steve25805 said: If ever there were a goddess to love, She sounds like the one for me, lol. She is the one for us all A huge hug and a kiss!!! 3 Link to post
Scot_Lover 1,876 Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 15 hours ago, steve25805 said: So Lilith is a goddess of several layers, but a primary theme is love and eroticism? Lilith is also - whilst being goddess of all things erotic - at the same time the goddess of all forms of beauty and love? Is it the combination of all forms of love and beauty, with eroticism on every level, which together equates to a kind of ultimate sexual perfection? Where pure love and full on eroticism come together? If ever there were a goddess to love, She sounds like the one for me, lol. Ours too, but we don't go into the hard humiliation aspects. Ours is more like where it comes from, sharing from so deep inside a person, something truly from the inner warmth. Some intense feelings in there @steve25805, some powerful thoughts too. Makes us feel kinda bad that our lives have been fairly rosy. You have shown some inner strength to overcome everything thrown in your path. 1 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted July 15, 2018 Author Share Posted July 15, 2018 On 7/14/2018 at 12:52 AM, Scot_Lover said: Ours too, but we don't go into the hard humiliation aspects. Ours is more like where it comes from, sharing from so deep inside a person, something truly from the inner warmth. Some intense feelings in there @steve25805, some powerful thoughts too. Makes us feel kinda bad that our lives have been fairly rosy. You have shown some inner strength to overcome everything thrown in your path. Steve is as worthy as pure gold But the three of you also overcame hard stuff We are all great 1 1 2 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 @steve25805 @Scot_Lover The last of the Gods The youngest, though being twin to Lilith He still is the "second" of them, and Lilith's husband I used to call Him Archangel Michael during the previous posts, and is not that wrong, since indeed He is The Sun, the essence of life, regeneration, hope, forgiveness, atonement, and love. Indeed, He is the energy that appears during High Rituals about deep Christian secret Witchcraft, as The Christ. Though the man that embodied himself as Jesus of Nazareth was indeed a man, the Presence that was felt through him, giving him the power to work out miracles and impress people with inhuman charisma, was this guy here! He is quite simple, because he is hope realized, love unlimited, mercy, marvel, happiness, and even when in the presence of a terrible foe, he is like a kung fu fighter that knows how to paralyze without killing. The only entities He fights against are the forces of actual Evil, and even in that case, He just un-endorse them, but He never hates. Because of Him being so powerful (He is one of the most powerful of Them all, according to some He is second only to Satan and Kali) and so easy to summon, many people failed to understand that the Gods are a Balance of Light and Darkness and this way the light-oriented religions were born. Indeed He has nothing against the dark ways of His siblings, Lilith is His wife and Ammut the Destroyer is His elder sister, so His gentle ways are not a contradiction to the Gods general sterness, they are just His own way. This guy, whose most ancient name is Shamash (Sh like in shelter or shit, and A like in Assume, NOT like in Ale), is called upon in the darkest rituals of necromancy as both protector of the magician, AND helper of the summoned dead. He is also called for miraculous healings, though because of humans losing faith in Them and filling the Collective Unconscious of shit, His power subdued a bit. He is petitioned for understanding portions of the psyche we do not master as they control us and ruin our lives, and also He is called for correctedness in trials, both human and karmic. He is also an entity able to make every marvellous thing appear out of thin air, and sneaking out to find new and positive outcomes to situations that seemed helpless. Every positive action, from reconciliation with an enemy to petting a cute rat, is under his dominion. Also parties and happiness, and the tenderness of children. He also has a dark side, able to bring all of this away and thus embodying the archetypical figures of Apocalypse's Rider of Famine. BUT He usually never ever do such a thing. He strenghtens self comfidence and the capability to perceive one's deepest core of light. The only "problem" with Him is that. much like all other Gods, to get help from Him one must serve if not Them, at least Their teachings about wrong or right, and learn a bit of magick. Simply parying to Him can do little. The Gods were once able to control people's lives in the past, but now we are too many, and we really failed to meet Their teachings, and this, over millennia, diminshed Their ability to snuck into our businesses to help us. But indeed, if there is a God that really deserves our deepest respect and love, that shows us how to be both gentle and delicate but also powerful like a godlike giant and assertive like a fucking dragon, that's Shamash!!! He can be called upon to reclaim clarity of mind when we are brainwashed by emotions (both positive or negative, when we're brainwashed is never good), and also whose blessing can be sent upon enemies to bring them to a safer outcome (or annihilate them if He finds out they really are assholes). Everytime we need luck, light on our path, more positiveness in everything, He is the guy. Now the Gods are completely described. The Essence of the Eleven is revealed. I'll probably describe the fourteen Ascended Masters, but not that soon, they are the Gods' angels, former humans who ascended to disembodied condition and help still-humans with their powerful magick... 1 2 Link to post
steve25805 126,015 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 So Shamash is the ultimate god of light and positive energy, bringer of good luck? And Jesus spoke through him? Like you, I believe Jesus existed. But also like you I believe he was just a man like any other and in no way divine, though I believe he was psychically gifted and spiritually aware and - whether or not he understood it in the terms you do - was to some extent in tune with the gods. Shamash does sound like the ultimate God of peace as described by Jesus, and so very different a god to the vengeful and jealous and harsh being of the Old Testament. Jesus spoke of the meek - by which I think he meant the peace-loving - inheriting the earth. Was he in tune with an actual reality to come in making such a statement? With the aid of Shamash and the other gods, will we ultimately develop into a peace-loving race at one with the natural order of things? Or must there come a time of great destruction first as described in Revelations? We humans are at one and the same time dualistic both as a species and as individuals. We are capable of great compassion, love and altruism, risking our lives to help absolute strangers and all sorts. Yet we are also capable of great violence, selfishness, greed, callousness, cruelty, and sadism. As a species we manifest both. And both exist within the psyches of each and every one of us, which aspect being dominant perhaps determined by our inner moralities and spiritual development. Perhaps there is a genetic element too, since we are at one and the same time products of our material minds and bodies as well as our spiritual essences. Is Shamash out there to help guide us along a peaceful and more enlightened path? So that our spiritual development does not go into reverse? 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 6 minutes ago, steve25805 said: So Shamash is the ultimate god of light and positive energy, bringer of good luck? And Jesus spoke through him? Indeed 6 minutes ago, steve25805 said: Like you, I believe Jesus existed. But also like you I believe he was just a man like any other and in no way divine, though I believe he was psychically gifted and spiritually aware and - whether or not he understood it in the terms you do - was to some extent in tune with the Gods He was conceived through rituals to be the way he was: the symbolism of Immaculate Conception means that no human basenesses were included in conceiving him as he was conceived during a ritual under the watchful eyes of Lilith and Shamash 9 minutes ago, steve25805 said: Shamash does sound like the ultimate God of peace as described by Jesus, and so very different a god to the vengeful and jealous and harsh being of the Old Testament Exactly!!! 9 minutes ago, steve25805 said: esus spoke of the meek - by which I think he meant the peace-loving - inheriting the earth. Was he in tune with an actual reality to come in making such a statement? With the aid of Shamash and the other gods, will we ultimately develop into a peace-loving race at one with the natural order of things? Or must there come a time of great destruction first as described in Revelations Jesus message was complicated. He did not spoke against violence in itself, nor war, nor dangers nor suffering. The word "meek" here means those who are not rushy. Those who listen to fittingness instead of being blinded by anguish or hatred. Such persons uses 1% of the violence of rushy and low humans, just like the Gods do, but when such people needs to use it, they are hurricanes, just like the Gods! 12 minutes ago, steve25805 said: We humans are at one and the same time dualistic both as a species and as individuals. We are capable of great compassion, love and altruism, risking our lives to help absolute strangers and all sorts. Yet we are also capable of great violence, selfishness, greed, callousness, cruelty, and sadism. As a species we manifest both. And both exist within the psyches of each and every one of us, which aspect being dominant perhaps determined by our inner moralities and spiritual development. Perhaps there is a genetic element too, since we are at one and the same time products of our material minds and bodies as well as our spiritual essences. It's true. But it is important not to forget the teachings of all the other Gods, seduced by a rushy interpretation of Shamash's kind light. Indeed is a sweet sin to bathe in His light, as it's so sweet!!! But we Always have to remember that innocence of aims is what humans should be after, and not pale innocence, violence must be mastered, not discarded! 14 minutes ago, steve25805 said: Is Shamash out there to help guide us along a peaceful and more enlightened path? So that our spiritual development does not go into reverse? Shamash is Beyond aims and assignments. No matter how stern the teachings of the Gods could be, They are still servants of the Light, and Light cannot be hidden, not even when it is hidden for self-sacrificial and stern roles the Gods had to uphold to lead us. Light simply explodes outside, and BANG Shamash manifests 1 2 Link to post
steve25805 126,015 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 So Lilith and Shamash, invoked by ritual, played a part in the coming of Jesus? I have never believed in the literal truth of the immaculate conception, and believe that as a human being, Jesus needed to have been conceived as all human beings are conceived - by sperm uniting with egg as a consequence of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. But that he was the spiritually in tune, psychically aware, person that he was I can truly believe could have resulted from a sex act that was part of some ritualised conception, and a myth of virgin birth grew up as a distortion of that. That seems most possible to me. But if this is how Jesus came to be, what of other spiritual founders? Two others immediately spring to my mind - Buddha and Mohammad. Were they conceived in similar fashion do you think? 1 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted August 29, 2018 Author Share Posted August 29, 2018 6 minutes ago, steve25805 said: Buddha and Mohammad No Jesus was born at the passage of Ages between Aries and Pisces, the backbone of spiritual existence on Earth that happens only by each 26 000 years. Buddha was born in an age and a place where spirit was more active than Jesus, no rituals were involved, but indeed Buddha was meant to teach stuff, Jesus was meant to fuck the world. When Jesus was disgustingly murdered and the Church was misleaded into serving evil forces, the Gods looked for a substitute to build an army and counterbalance what fallen christianity had become. Later islam too was corrupted, and now they are both fallen. But Jesus was not created to build a religion, but to end them all, and install the reign of the Gods, but was betrayed and murdered. None were thought to come after him. Indeed after a last chance with islam, the Gods stopped to try building a religion, and reverted to simply look after Witches... Our time will come 1 2 Link to post
spywareonya 37,961 Posted April 4, 2019 Author Share Posted April 4, 2019 (edited) New level of teachings in the Ancient Masters thread in the General Chat Edited April 4, 2019 by spywareonya 1 1 Link to post
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