AITA

[Kathleen 171]

AITA for voting with my girlfriends to let go our lead singer? 

Reasons: 1. She is always hitting the bottle

2. Almost always hung over during practice

3. Left us hanging at a major opportunity in the summer (luckily we were able to perform just fine).

4. Missed 3 of 4 practices already for the Halloween 🎃 event.

Things were said, on all ends, and It made me feel deflated 😞

[hold_on 133]

25 minutes ago, Kathleen said:

AITA for voting with my girlfriends to let go our lead singer? 

Reasons: 1. She is always hitting the bottle

2. Almost always hung over during practice

3. Left us hanging at a major opportunity in the summer (luckily we were able to perform just fine).

4. Missed 3 of 4 practices already for the Halloween 🎃 event.

Things were said, on all ends, and It made me feel deflated 😞

Nope!

[Kathleen 171]

41 minutes ago, hold_on said:

Nope!

Even though we got 2 backup singers available in such cases...? 😆 

[hold_on 133]

I was saying you were not the asshole for doing that 😃

[WantonLee 861]

Hard to say.

Someone constantly hitting the bottle needs help - no one gets drunk for no reason, especially if it is a habit.
The question is, if you offered help, was said lead singer unable or unwilling to take this help?

If someone is dragging you down with them, and you are unable to stop that drag downwards or are unable to elevate that consciousness of that person to a point where they can see what they are doing...  you absolutely have a right to protect yourself.

If that person is totally unable or unwilling to even recognize there is a problem, in this case that person needs to fail, and in a way that the blame can not be projected onto someone else.
Your best bet is to not be even close when that happens. ^^

Easier said then done, though.

So in short:
I do not know.
I have a feeling you where NOT the A-hole.

If that lead singer has someone close to them, and you know that person too, AND that person is open for arguments... you might want to talk to them and express your concern... .
 

That is all that comes to mind without knowing details. ^^

[Kathleen 171]

We did tell her if she's able to be sober and learn to cut back and prove it, she can come back on a trail bases 

[gldenwetgoose 21,485]

I completely appreciate that you're going to keep a good degree of separation between your real life band and your virtual life here - and that's perfectly understandable.

So we don't know too much about what level you're at as a band, but the clues are there - organised practices, major opportunity...    so in other words three out of four, or four out of five, etc of you are committed to giving this your best shot, to making something, earning money.   And you all know that to make it, you need to be able to deliver. When you take a booking you're entering a contractual agreement, where you're expected to deliver.  Even if it's unpaid 'for exposure' someone is putting their reputation on the line by giving you a gig with the expectation that the whole band will perform, will deliver crowd satisfaction and build their reputation, yours too.

So you need a package you can rely on...  I bet your drummer turns up with a whole bag of sticks, your guitar bags have spare strings and even a spare guitar - so you expect the same commitment from each of you.

 

To be honest - the fact you're worrying about whether you've done the right thing - that proves you are NOT the asshole.   That proves you're taking a balanced view, considering all of the consequences as well as the actions.

Chances are things were said as a group in the heat of that moment that are bothering you.   Maybe give them a call today, or if that's too soon then over the weekend.   Explain your concerns for them as a person, and that it's their behaviours and not them you've got the issue with.  It sounds like you're torn in that you want to help the person as much as ensure the viability and growth of the band.

[Kathleen 171]

Still it's unfortunate tho 😞

But everyone has a choice and path..

[Laharl 77]

No I don't think so. It's weighing on your mind about the choice you made, so you have a conscious about what each choice bought. 

[Kathleen 171]

Continued: She claims to of reduced the amount of alcohol she consumes and wants a chance to prove she can be more sober and reliable, so we said maybe after Christmas. She blew up and that was that. Needless to say I'm done with her music wise.

[A_AShes 538]

6 hours ago, Kathleen said:

Continued: She claims to of reduced the amount of alcohol she consumes and wants a chance to prove she can be more sober and reliable, so we said maybe after Christmas. She blew up and that was that. Needless to say I'm done with her music wise.

Perhaps increase her load otherwise it is wasted opportunity for both... Sad story...