A rant about creeps

[MidoriLemonade85 2,366]

My problem has been that people don’t know the difference between fantasy and reality. I have had some who will chat about fantasy and then say “would you do that in real life if we got together?” …erm, no, I am married, live in a foreign country, idiot. I am not driving across town to service you. 

[puddyls 26,253]

On 8/26/2024 at 1:04 AM, WetJess said:

When did it become acceptable to ask other members to privately send intimate images or video? 

I’ve had a few members now all asking the same question, and honestly it just makes me feel so unwelcome on this site… Like being female immediately gives me an obligation to show off my body.

If I was going to do that, it won’t be to the first random person in my DMs. 
 

would love to hear about this from a mod too. Is this allowed?

totally unacceptable. and i'm sorry its something you're experiencing.  

i know i kinda didn't expect the onslaught of pervs/creepers when i first began opening up about my interests and shenanigans. and its really a shame,  and ironic even, because people like that are what makes us so hesitant to express ourselves. 

one thing i started doing a long time ago is setting expectations right away. in that, my profiles always state to some degree that i do and share stuff for my own ends. not that everyone reads those, but its out there. and i can't speak for all of us, but IF i decide to reply to off putting DM's, its that there is plenty of me to find in the forums. and/or some version of no means no. one can maybe judge the character of a guy after that. if he gets belligerent and beggy; time to go, sir. but usually they appease my assertions, and we can have a normal chat.

though when i read something like this, it makes me wish i wasn't so stoic. because i hate thinking that maybe my rejections led to another woman's distress. 

[gldenwetgoose 21,486]

The quote from @WetJess was nearly two months ago and over the page, so it's worth re-emphasising the answer.

 

On 8/26/2024 at 9:13 AM, gldenwetgoose said:

 NEVER.  EVER.   NOT EVER.

A reminder from Staff - it's never ok in the circumstances described and it's very much against site rules.

If anyone is experiencing it, please click on Report on the message and we as Staff will guarantee robust action.   We as Staff are proud of the safe and respectful place we have here.

 

On 8/26/2024 at 11:07 AM, Sophie said:

The staff have a number of measures and we are actively discussing the issues you have reported. We can send them a message explaining how their behaviour is unacceptable (which we will be doing), we can issue warning point, we can remove their ability to send private messages and ultimately we can remove their access to the site.

The members are still active because we don't jump directly to banning them!

 

And to build on a comment you've made @puddyls

9 hours ago, puddyls said:

totally unacceptable. and i'm sorry its something you're experiencing.  

i know i kinda didn't expect the onslaught of pervs/creepers when i first began opening up about my interests and shenanigans. and its really a shame,  and ironic even, because people like that are what makes us so hesitant to express ourselves. 

one thing i started doing a long time ago is setting expectations right away. in that, my profiles always state to some degree that i do and share stuff for my own ends. not that everyone reads those, but its out there. and i can't speak for all of us, but IF i decide to reply to off putting DM's, its that there is plenty of me to find in the forums. and/or some version of no means no. one can maybe judge the character of a guy after that. if he gets belligerent and beggy; time to go, sir. but usually they appease my assertions, and we can have a normal chat.

though when i read something like this, it makes me wish i wasn't so stoic. because i hate thinking that maybe my rejections led to another woman's distress. 

The one point I'll pick up on here...    please don't think that you being strong in opposing these unacceptable approaches has led to another lady being approached.   That isn't the case at all @puddyls - you have nothing to feel bad about.   The reason is down to one thing - the people who think it is acceptable to treat other members of this forum without respect or decency.

When it happens please report it, and we WILL deal with it.   If it's happening and we don't see it, we can't act on it.   And if one person is being targetted, then the chances are others are too.

[Kirby23 954]

I am a male, and I post here often about my opinions, questions, and experiences. 

A few times I've been asked, either via replies to my posts, or via DMs, either for photos, videos or audio of my experiences, and it always creeps me out. I've also been asked personal questions about my family. I always either decline, or just ignore the questions/requests.

I think the general feeling among those asking is "It can't hurt to ask." But I don't think they understand how "not cool" it is. The only thing I can think is that the people asking these questions have gotten used to instant gratification, and think they're entitled to whatever they want. I think they forget that the members here are real people, often with spouses, families, etc.

We come here to engage with like-minded individuals, but also to escape. And part of how I do that here is to be more-or-less anonymous. My anonymity is paramount to my participation here, as I'm sure it is with most of you.

[Kathleen 171]

Creepy pervs...I guess if that happens...can we take a screenshot and make a "page of shame?" (As well as send it to the admins!)