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2 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Dear Wet Carpet,

Are you feeling lucky ?    Let me tell you about the game I've invented, and am going to be playing with my friends tonight.

Each Friday night three or four of us from the Admin team at work go out into town.  We usually meet at the bus station and then we go around the bars before hitting a club until the early hours.  We all get on really well, even though I'm way younger than them. Like by a long way, they're all either married or divorced.  It doesn't stop them being mad and up for anything though.   A few months ago in the office they were all discussing the Pee Your Pants challenge that was going viral, and asked me (because I'm the 'tik tok generation' apparently) if I'd done it.

I went bright red and they all assumed I did - of course they were right. But from the conversations that followed, it seems like none of them are nuns either.

 

So a few weeks ago I made up this game and for the last couple of Fridays we've been playing it.  They think it's a tik tok thing, and I'm loving getting my own back by having them play it.

It's very simple -

  • Before we go out, we roll a dice - the person with the highest score is 'it'.  They're the person who has to take the challenge.
  • If two people roll the same highest score then both people have to do it.
  • And then a second roll of the dice decides what the challenge actually is.  We do this in the office in the afternoon so they can choose to dress according to the challenge.
  • The challenge can be done any time on night before we all go our separate ways. It's best after plenty of drinking anyway.
  • The rest of the group must have proof it's been completed. 

 And the challenges, all based on the roll of a dice:

  1.  Relax - have a normal toilet pee
  2.  Pee outdoors somewhere.
  3.  An Indoor pee, not on the floor
  4.  Pee through panties (then take them off for the rest of the night)
  5.  Pee through panties and keep them on
  6.  Wetting trousers / jeans completely in a public place

What an excellent game, whoever you are! I would love to hear an account of how the games have played out! You are very creative - I am sure your group have had fun! Thanks for telling us about it 🙂 

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47 minutes ago, gldenwetgoose said:

Dear Wet Carpet Magazine,

I don't know if this is allowed, I'm writing in using my brother's account.   I'm really scared and hoping your online readers can give me some reassurance.

Yesterday my friends and I went into our local city.  I'm not going to say where for reasons that'll become apparent.   It was two girls I sort of knew from college and have bumped into a few times on nights out.  They said we should have a girly day out Christmas shopping, but it quickly became apparent their way of shopping is a bit different to mine.   We met up at the train station in the city with a festive coffee before strolling around the shops.  Just browsing and having fun.  Seems though their ideas of fun were a lot wilder.  Like going into stores and using all the makeup testers to give themselves a full makeover, and generally being out to see what they could get.  Trying on clothes, but not really buying anything (as I realised later).

At lunchtime we ended up in a wetherspoons type pub drinking a couple of glasses of wine.  That's when it sort of went properly in a southwards direction.  As we finished lunch I got up to go to the loo, but they had other ideas.  I was surprised neither of them needed to go - they just laughed about what else shop changing rooms were for.  I decided I could wait and we set off around the shops again.   I was pretty horrified first of all to see Tasha (not her real name) crouch down to look at something on a low shelf, and hear a loud hiss as a stream of wee landed on the tiled floor just in front of her.  I've no idea if she had any knickers on, or if she'd pulled them to one side.

Then later in the lift in one of the big stores Jemma (also not her name) pulled down her leggings and stood facing the wall with her hips forward, as a big arc of pee sprayed onto it, running down and pooling on the floor.  I was really desperate at that point but certainly wasn't going to pee like that.  When I told the girls I was going to find a bathroom they pretty much bullied me out of the idea.  I'm used to holding it in my job so that's what I did.

Anyway after that we ended up at the Christmas markets and another bar.  This was open air and it was freezing - not the thing at all you need when desperate for a wee.  We ended up sat in a booth.  I told the girls I really needed to find a toilet.  But they were having none of it.  They told me to wriggle my jeans down under the table and just 'piss on the floor'.   I was horrified at the thought, but then the alternative of wetting myself was equally horrifying.  And very likely at that point.  They were sat either side of me, so with those two options I found myself sitting on the edge of the seat with my jeans pulled down under the table.

At first nothing happened.  Stage fright.   And then finally in the cold air, I felt a trickle of hot wee escape and run across my bum cheek.  Before long the trickle had changed to a steady stream running down the wooden boards to my feet.  As terrifying as it was, it felt amazing.  The first time I'd peed since leaving my house in the morning.

But then, suddenly two of the event security staff were at our table.  It seems Tasha had added to my stream from under her skirt and there was a very visible pool of steaming pee flowing across the floor of the bar.   I was absolutely mortified of course, yanking my jeans up.  I only realised later I'd still been peeing as I did so.  I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.  Jemma and Tasha decided to get all mouthy with the staff which didn't help one bit.  Soon we were being escorted off the site with mentions of CCTV recordings and reporting us to the police.   To make matters worse I realised later that the Christmas 'shopping' the other two had done had actually been shoplifting, with me as their accomplice.

Now Wet Carpet Readers -  I haven't slept a wink last night, I'm terrified of the police knocking on my door.  I'd get sacked from my job if I was given a criminal record, and as for weeing in a public place.  That would just be awful.   Should I be worried?   Is there anything they can do?   Has anyone else found themselves in a similar position,  I just need to know I'm not a criminal.

Thank you - Terrified D.

Dear Wet Carpet. 

To the anonymous lady who wrote the above, I do understand your fears. But when it comes to criminal activities like shoplifting, as with any crime the police need evidence to go to court. Sonce you yourself did not steal anything there is unlikely to be any evidence that will allow them to charge you. Your friends might not be so fortunate, but that will be their problem. And in spite of their stealing, if they are in any way true friends they will support your statement that you were unaware of what they were doing. Since they will not name you publicly without charging you, and since they are highly unlikely to charge you through lack of evidence against you, your employer will never know and your job will be safe.

As for the pissing, there is more uncertainty. If any damage was done or anything was ruined, most establishments would probably prefer financial recompense rather than the hassle and expense of legal proceedings. If your pissings were caught by police via CCTV, they have many more important things to be doing. And only if the establishment concerned can be bothered with cooperating is there any likelihood of  charge. And this is unlikely. 

There are only two possible charges, criminal damage or public indecency. And since by your account it seems you were pissing on outdoor wooden boards and not an indoor carpet or something like that, any actual damage is likely to be minimal to non-existent, making a charge for this unlikely.

That leaves the public indecency thing but if they bother with that at all it is only likely to be a fine and if you agree to pay up without going to court your employer and the wider  public are unlikely to ever know.

Of course there is another possible concern. If security staff caught you they might not have been the only ones to see what you are doing. And in these modern times when everyone has a phone on them to take pics with there is a danger of a pic of you in action appearing on the internet. But you'd be very unlucky if someone who mattered saw it. But do consider making up an excuse to cover such an eventuality just in case. I would suggest saying that you had too much to drink and for a laugh your friends wouldnt let you go to the toilet, not realising how desperate you were. Most people would understand. Because who amongst us have never been caught short when drunk and not peed somewhere unorthodox in an emergency? We have all been there.

So I wouldnt worry too much. Since you have found this magazine and reached out to us, you will no doubt know that many of us have peed in far worse places for fun. It is unfortunate that your first experience of what we call naughty peeing is proving to be the cause of so much angst,. Believe me, most of the time it is just good fun. But I think you will be alright. 

Try not to worry about it, I know that is easier said than done.

Steve

(I like the original concept for this story, Goose. Good one.)

 

Edited by steve25805
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  • 2 weeks later...
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Dear Wet Carpet

I'm Sue, and this is me and my two friends Christine and Sarah. I am the one on the left, Christine is the blonde in the middle, and Sarah the one on the right....
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We are all in our late 30s now, all single after splitting up with assholes of one kind or another. I do think we still look good for our age and hope you agree..

Well we were all having a few drinks at Sarah's house and got onto the subject of past boyfriends and their various sexual foibles. 

That's when Christine blurted out, "What is it with golden showers?". 

"Oh my god yes", I laughed.

Christine continued, "Remember that guy Jake I was dating back at uni?" She paused for a moment for dramatic effect, then said, " He used to like having me pee all over him in the bath."

Sarah and I laughed. "No way!" I said. "You didn't!"

"Yeah I did." Then she leaned towards us and said conspiratorially, " He used to like  having me pee on his face."

Our draws dropped and then we laughed, as Christine giggled before adding, "He used to drink it.!"

Amused, I queried, "Let me get this straight. You're telling us you used to piss in your boyfriend's mouth?"

She nodded with a big grin. "It is kind of empowering, just peeing in some guy's face and watching him drink it." She chuckled, "You should try it some time."

I laughed, "How would that conversation go? Imagine the scene. Ive just hooked up with some guy and took him back to mine and before we head in to the bedroom to start getting it on I ask him to lay down in the bath so I can piss on his face? Not sure how well that would go down."

"Well you never do know," laughed Sarah. "You know Paula from Admin? I heard she likes being peed on by her husband. I wonder which of them brought up that idea."

"Yeah I heard that as well", I laughed.

Then Sarah came out with a revelation of her own. "Remember Dave? " We did. "Well, he used to like watching me pee on his bedroom floor beside his bed." She paused for effect for a moment, then giggled as she clarified, "On the fucking carpet!"

We all laughed at this revelation. I said, "You used to piss on Dave's carpet? Oh my God I cant believe you would do something so totally bad."

She laughingly responded with, "I did it a lot and it wasn't my carpet anyway and he wanted me to do it so why not? It is actually kind of fun, just peeing right there on the floor, brazen as you like. I think it is the very naughtiness of it. "

"Didn't his room stink of piss?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah I suppose it did a bit", Sarah laughed. "But it wasn't my room and wasn't my carpet so not my problem.  Anyway, his landlord was not best pleased and chucked him out for urinating on the carpet. He had no idea that it was actually his girlfriend doing it."

We all laughed. But the wine was taking good effect and we all pretty much needed to pee and were all about to head upstairs to the bathroom together as on so many earlier girls nights in. When Sarah suddenly suggested, "How about giving the bathroom a miss. Why don't we just go out into the kitchen and pee on the floor?"

"Are you serious?" both Christine and I said in unison.

"Yes, it will be fun, just peeing somewhere random." A brief pause, then a giggle, then, " I've done it before."

"You haven't!" I said, stunned.

"Yeah, I've done it a few times. It is kind of fun just being naughty and it's easy to mop up afterwards."

Christine was almost sold on the idea, "Shall we do it?" she said with an eager grin.

And I found myself agreeing as we all headed out into the kitchen, lowered our panties and hoisted the back of of our dresses and dropped down into a squat over the floor. We waited for Sarah to lead the way and then there were the three of us, giggling and laughing as we all gleefully pissed all over Sarah's kitchen floor. We flooded the place but that wasn't the end of it. Because as we got up to leave the room, I queried whether Sarah was going to mop it up. She just said she would do it in the morning, because we might as well spend the rest of the evening using the kitchen floor as a toilet.

Several more times that evening the three of us all squatted over the floor together, absolutely flooding every inch of it. By the time of our last pee before bed we were fairly drunk which is when Sarah said, "Watch this!" And instead of squatting over the floor climbed up onto the kitchen table and was soon squatting upon it and pissing all over its surface. Her piss was soon cascading off the edge of the table to splash loudly down onto the floor. She laughed in mid-flow, "Not the first time I've ever peed on this table either!" 

We all laughed drunkenly at this revelation.

Was actually surprisingly good fun, just pissing all over the place.

In the morning Christine and I exchanged knowing smirks as we watched Sarah mopping up.

Christine chuckled, "Did we really actually pee all over the floor last night?" 

Sarah said, "We sure did, and it was fun."

We all agreed.

And that was the time we peed all over Sarah's kitchen floor just for the fun of it. 

The fact that we are grown women old enough to know better seems to just make it even naughtier and thus more fun.

Our mothers would be so proud. I don't think, lol.

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