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Wow mom, I had no idea.

I thought you were actually out hunting for wild flowers on all those walks.

I never knew "Picking the Flowers" was a way to say you needed to pee.

Does it still count if they are grow inside planted in a pot??

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This trip always takes so long, and there are no places to stop for a bathroom break.

I don't even care anymore. I really need to pee, and I can't hold it. I'm just gonna go in my seat. 

Ahhh. Ohhh, that's so much better. And it's so nice and warm on my bottom. I know I've ruined my seat, but I don't care. This feels too good.

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"And for wasting toilet space just to pee when you could have just wet yourself, how do you plead?"

"Guilty your honour" *wets self* "I promise I won't do it again"

"Well seeing as this is a first offence and you have shown remorse, I will let you get away with community service"

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“I’m sorry Officer, it’s just that I was absolutely bursting for a wee”

”That’s no justification for excess speed Ma’am and now you’ve just delayed yourself further.”

”I’m ok now Sir, you gave me such a jump when you put your siren on that I just....  Anyway Officer, is there maybe some way I can help you work this out...?”

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"Mum, can I go to the toilet? I really need a wee."

"You're supposed to be making a good impression."

"Huh?"

"Don't huh me. What will the Dean think if he sees you enter with bone dry pants? Now go wet yourself now before you make a bad impression"

"Ok mum." *wets self*

Edited by CON2H4
Grammar
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I love this strip club, but they always sucker you in with the up sells.

I was visiting the other day and I was already in the High Roller Room.

One of the girls saw me get up to go to the bathroom.
"Oh sir, do you need to go? For $50 I can make you a V.I.Pee and drink you dry!"

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Okay ladies, the number for today is.... THREE!
That means Shanice will be our "Gurinal" for the meeting.
If any of you other women need to "powder your nose" just let her know and we will stop to watch.

In fact, if you don't mind, I could stand to go before I start the presentation.

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I hate being late for class, it was not even my fault this time...

Now I have to stand in the hallway with a funnel tubed in my butt and a sign around my neck that says, "Ladies W.C."

I have had four girls use me already and now a line is forming, it is going to be a long day.

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"Hey does this place have a toilet?"

"The fuck do you mean, have you looked around!?!"

"Yeah, everything here's trashed anyway. I'm just going to pee on the floor."

"Don't waste that shit, at least pee on the stereo speakers or something."
"I just need to go, like NOW... but fine I'll go piss in the grandfather clock."

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh no! Woke up in the middle of the night with a full bladder again.

Let me just go to the bathroom, ahh there it is.

Finally I can sit back and relax.

And the spray all over the carpet is always really nice when I lean back against the wall.

I should drink more tomorrow.

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"So that's the basics, just make sure to water the plants, make sure nobody steals anything while we are gone and otherwise make yourself at home. There's plenty of food in the fridge that needs using up so please help yourself. Waste not want not. Oh! And feel free to pee wherever you like."

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"Dud wtf, I just stepped in a puddle! Did you spill something?!"

"Nah don't worry, I just took a piss on the front door."

"Oh, that's all. I thought you spilled something nasty for a sec.
... actually, do you mind if I sit in it and play with it a little? My clothes are waaay too dry."

"Sure thing bud."

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"Hey, pass another cup."

"Fuck, you piss like a horse! That's the fourth one!"

"I told you, I need three whole cups for the cookie dough."

"... Wait but then why the fourth one?"

"Oh come on, like you've never snacked on an ingredient while cooking!"

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Fucking rude, pissing against the wall of my house like that. I know most of them are drunk, but come on, I made the sign rather fucking obvious, didn't I?! WINDOW OPEN. PISS INSIDE. WIPE ON CURTAINS. What's so hard to get about it?! Now I have to wet my carpet myself!!!

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I love visiting the retro arcade they built in town.

They really went all out too, reminds me of the ones I used to frequent back in the day.

It also reminds me that you can't pee when stuck in a long session.

Good thing they have an "attendant bell" by each cabinet.

A nice girl comes over, gets you out of your clothes, collects it all in a bottle, then puts you back together.

If you're not comfortable with, she'll take over playing so you can pee in the container yourself.

The best part? If she loses while you're peeing, she has to drink your pee the next time you call her!

Edited by hentaixt
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"Salutations, ma'am. Thank you for using our services again."

"Sure, but I'm a bit confuzzled... I ordered the 'Ladies Standard Single Stall Girl' package, so why's she here too?"

"Oh, my apologies! This is a new trainee. She'll be drinking your pee first. In the event she can't finish everything I will take over."

"Alright, that seems fine... but then who is she??"

"Yes! We are promoting a new 'premium' service, free of charge for long time customers, like yourself. If you provide your feedback of the experience we would greatly appreciate it. With your permission, this third young lady will be your bidet."

"Well this sounds lovely, but all this chatting without peeing is just making me more full. Let me get my panties off."

"Okay trainee Leeana, step forward, kneel and open your mouth. Do your best, I believe you can drink everything this time!!"

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"Excuse me, miss?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry to bother you in the queue, but I'm bursting for a pee and I'd like to utterly ruin something while I'm at it; so I was wondering what's the priciest thing between your panties and your purse?"

"Oh! Well, that'd be my panties, but y'know what - just let me take them off and stuff them into my purse so you can ruin both!"

"Aw... I mean that's sweet of you, but I was really hoping I could take the opportunity to feel your pussy for a bit by shoving my cock between your legs while I take a piss..."

"Mh... Tell you what, do a good job of pissing in my purse, and then you can 'wipe' by fucking me here in broad daylight! Deal?

"Deal! Thank you miss!"

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