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Two wheels, two holding, one puddle


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Here's a bit of an account of something that happened over the weekend - maybe not too exciting, but hope you like it.

Over the weekend I had my car in for a service in our local city - only about 8 miles from home and since it was a nice day I decided to cycle home, then back to collect it later. We live in a village and there's great cycling roads that let me make the journey more interesting.

Whilst I was at home waiting, I'd had coffee and then a can of coke with my lunch. My bladder was just starting to show the signs of being full and I started browsing online here.  It turned out one of my favourite friends was on chat and was having a hold. She's been working from home but going back to the office where toilet breaks aren't always possible with set break times. So she's been re-training her bladder by holding until her break times.  So we chatted and supported her hold - all the while conscious of my slightly increasing need. With about an hour to go, that was when I decided to join in the hold, it seemed like fun.

A little while later I got the text that my car was ready to collect, and looking at the time - about 2:45pm, there was 45 minutes to wait.  By that time I was pretty full, but still on track. On the chat I asked "should I go now before I set off?"  but I'd already pretty much made up my mind...

As I said there are some great cycling roads nearby, especially if I ignore the direct route and take the quieter country lanes which is what I normally do.  First though, as my bike is a road bike (skinny tyres, hard plastic seat and clip in pedals), there's certain clothing to be worn. I'm what's known as a MAMIL - a middle aged man in lycra.  Mostly that's because of the need for padded shorts, which in my case are sort of tight stretchy dungaree shorts - a bit like a circus strongman without the muscles. They are always worn commando, otherwise underwear would chafe.

Stripping off in the bedroom, suddenly the need to pee flared up from maybe a 5/6 to about a 9 or even the danger of a dribble onto the carpet. Why does that happen?  All I did was strip naked. Some part of my toilet-trained brain must equate being free from clothes as being ready to pee. I knew I could last much longer though, or at least the 35-40 minutes of my friend's challenge.

Before I left the house I downed a glass of cordial, just for good measure and set off.  A few clouds had set in and it wasn't quite as warm as I imagined, plus a bit of a headwind too. It was good to be out and about on the bike, but I was definitely conscious of my full bladder.  My mind wandered as I cycled, thoughts going to other groups I'd cycled in and comments from the lady cyclists of 'it's alright for you blokes', which always make me imagine pangs in their bladder and the uncertainty of when and where they could find relief.

On my GPS screen the real time clock told me my friend (and I of course) didn't have too much longer to wait.  Just as well because the fullness in my bladder was really making itself known.  It's strange but normally the need to pee hits me low down in my abdomen, almost at the base of my urethra - the prostate I guess. But whenever I'm on the bike, probably the pressure of the saddle completely numbs that feeling in instead I get a dull increasing ache on my bladder.  I can hold for longer with more gradually growing urgency, except when stopped at a road crossing and instantly the need intensified again, taking all my effort to clench shut and not leak.

Setting off and it was back to the ache, I could see that I (we) just had 15 minutes to wait. I imagined 'we' but I hadn't checked PF since setting off. When my friend puts her mind to it she will usually stick with it.

I had my destination in mind, a road and a spot I've driven and ridden many times before.  A few miles down the road I reached it.  Down a winding, undulating country lane the road passed over a stone bridge with a pub on the right, turning left immediately over the bridge.  Beneath is a canal in a cutting, a legacy of our industrial heritage and the road passes alongside it with a narrow pavement (sidewalk) and metal fence. A thin line of old trees on the left and a bigger thicket on the right mean the road is covered by a green canopy. It's a peaceful spot and my plan had been to stop at the side of the road and pee onto the tarmac pavement alongside the canal.

As I turned into the road I looked at the time, almost exactly 3:30pm so perfect. There were a few cars parked just by the turning - probably people fishing or at the pub - so I carried on a bit. I knew I was definitely going to have to relieve the pressure in my near bursting bladder.

As bad luck would have it though, just as I reached the spot I had in mind - a slight straight where I could see anything coming from either direction, I passed a canal leisure barge chugging along at its sedate pace. If I'd have stopped there they would see me through the trees and as much as I desperately wanted to pee, I really didn't want to expose myself to a family. I wasn't sure I could hold on it I stopped and waited for them to pass so instead I carried on slightly. I knew though that I was reaching the end of the tree cover and there were a couple of houses ahead. Slowing down just at the end of the trees the urge was overwhelming, but in the distance I could see the roof of a car and van across a hedge line marking their path towards me - so again I carried on.

After passing the houses I knew it was now or never. Dry or wet (and wet wouldn't have been ideal for picking my car up from the garage). Ahead the road turned sharp right with a metal gate into a field ahead of me. I decided my best option was to face that gate and unleash a flood onto it. At least I could see both ways along a section of road and I'd be facing away.  As I reached it though and slowed, I noticed the track on my left into a private road. Looking down it the farm or house it led to was out of sight and it wasn't particularly overlooked.

I pulled to a stop, putting my left foot down and my right still clipped into the pedal. My right leg was shaking in spasm as I desperately clenched for all I was worth for the last few seconds, sweat on my face from both the exertion of cycling and now the holding.  Lycra bib shorts aren't the easiest to pee in but they are manageable for a guy. They're too tight and long to pee through the leg hole so instead it's a case of leaning forwards slightly and pulling the strong but stretchy high waist down just enough to poke over the top.

After a fraction of a second a thick stream of yellow pee gushed out and splattered onto the rough surface below me. Although a thick stream it didn't extend particularly far forwards and still being on the bike meant I was a bit limited as how far I could lean forwards. Pee splattered noisily off the stones below me, wetting my left shoe and feeling the liquid on my shin.  I didn't particularly care though as the relief felt amazing. The stream didn't last for as long as I had imagined it would, and didn't form a massive lake - maybe about 700-800ml I guess.

With one hand pulling my shorts forward I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my phone so I could take a picture.   Unlocking it the PF site was still on my browser and I scanned over the conversation I'd missed. The last line "It's ok, I'm going to wait for gldenwetgoose," so I quickly tapped a reply "It's ok, you can go. I am."

Soon my flood was done, I turned around to grab a quick photo and headed off - I wasn't going to hang around, after all I had just peed on someone's private road.

 

The rest of the ride was fairly uneventful, although I was ready to pee again when I got back home. This time in the alternative scenario of a warm comforting shower.

   

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6 hours ago, Specter said:

Fantastic writing, you should consider a career switch lol

Thank you so much @Specter - really kind of you to say so.  My day job does involve writing technical documents, summarising evidence and justifications etc, so I guess that's an element.

I have written a few fictional stories on here although nothing too recent.  You'd probably enjoy them - here's the two most recent, there are more but might take a bit of a search.

 

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