A serious problem

[steve25805 126,150]

Hi @spywareonya

I must say a few things. 

Firstly, due to meds reducing my libido I am less interested in sexual subject matter than I used to be. Finding and posting pics still works for me but other things seldom. So I have been less active myself of late for this reason. Which is why though you posted this thread two days ago only now have I seen it. So sorry.

And to be honest, a lot of my time is being wasted on other forums and on twitter discussing politics which is another interest of mine. The reduced level of my sexual interest has meant that this has quite often been a bigger attraction than here, especially with all this Brexit shit going on.

I do miss some of the interesting discussions we used to have about witchcraft and other things, and would love to see you educating us some more about such things. 

I have also noticed that you and I have been interacting much less than we used to. Sometimes when I post something it can be many days before you notice it, so I get the impression that you yourself are a bit semi-detached sometimes.

And you are my friend, because of which I miss the intensity of our interactions. We just seem to be engaging with each other a lot less.

You are though - and always will be for as long as you choose to remain active here - one of the star attractions for me here, the foremost star attraction. Because when you post, it is not just about pee but so much more. Which will always be fascinating for me, however impaired my libido may be.

I love you as a true friend. I will try and think up some interesting new off-topic discussion threads and see what response they get.

 

[Daz 4]

On 2/11/2019 at 6:24 AM, spywareonya said:

Last year, after a roaring start, something happened. During January, I began to be ignored, surpassed by some other contents that were offering something more immediately enjoyable than mine, and this hurt me, yet without realizing why. I left, offended that people were failing to realize the true meaning of what I was giving to this forum… the funny thing, is that gun-to-the-head, it wasn't exactly clear not even to me...

 

I never stopped logging it, but I stopped to post, until late Spring. After being back, it was quite obvious to me that the persons that overrun me into people's hearts weren't a rising star, but a shooting star, and indeed I never heard of them again. The point is not them. They did nothing to undermine me. The point is that I failed to make people understand I was giving something precious, more than the actual pics. I needed a balanced response to what I gave.

 

But why? Why people should have cheered me up that much? 

 

It may sound just Ego. But it isn't. I was a woman on a mission. I just hadn't realized it yet. I was blinded by personal anxieties that were fueling my desires… but though they were INDEED part of my craving… they were NOT the core. At the beginning, I failed to realize it.

 

I thought it was need for self-validation. Admin helped me going much Beyond all of that.He provided something that in psychology is called "positive diffractor", it means somebody that, though deeply loving you, doesn't give you what you yell for, in order for you to understand that you are just illuding yourself, and what you crave for is just a mask for something else.

I did not need glory. I needed visibility, and control over the amount of it I was getting. Still, I couldn't grasp the reasons behind my passionate craving.

 

Helped and sorrounded by my friend, among which I can list tens of persons, but above all Steve, Scot, Sophie, FannyWatcher, MarkJ, Bpb and many Others, I plunged into myself to confute my deep unconscious… life also forced my hand. I underwent a mourning during November, and the bankrupt of the society I have been working under for years, in December, that's also why I have been absent in those months.

 

Now, I am a completely different person, and I know why I am here. I know what I want from this forum, and from my life. I know why I left upon failing to obtain it last Winter, and why sometimes I feel like I have been losing interest in logging in as I have been almost completely ignored since I have been back at the beginning of the year.

Never let people offend you ! We love you and enjoy your posts :-)

[spywareonya 37,962]

7 hours ago, Daz said:

Never let people offend you ! We love you and enjoy your posts :-)

In fact it weren't the people. It's that I have to admit that, to me, bonding is really a primary occupation. I saw how it feels when people love each other, and have their eyes Always connected to those of Others. Is a comrades life-style that was a main part of becoming the kind of woman I am, that could blow his boyfriend while on the same couch of three of his male friends, provided this doesn't prevent me to look at the TV if the football match is currently in its most heating part

 

I need that world… here in this forum more than anything. I gave this place all of myself because some people here REALLY ROCK

 

Thank you limitlessly for this post of yours

[spywareonya 37,962]

8 hours ago, steve25805 said:

So sorry

I don't need your constant presence to know NOBODY (maybe not even I) gave this forum as much as you did. In my opinion, my crown as "Best forum contributor" is an eternal #3 beside Admin that built it and YOU that kept it alive for so much

I adore you Steve, never think I could be hurt by you

 

8 hours ago, steve25805 said:

discussing politics

Holy shit NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT. Utter respect from me, bro

 

8 hours ago, steve25805 said:

all this Brexit shit going on

I talked about it with FannyWatcher too. He thinks it will rock consciousnesses more than to "remain&yell", but I am sad you leave anyway. But indeed, EU must change, it's not you who failed us, it's EU who failed each state, UK more than any I still believe in the European Dream, but we must change. I just hoped it could happen without parting ways.

 

8 hours ago, steve25805 said:

I do miss some of the interesting discussions we used to have about witchcraft and other things, and would love to see you educating us some more about such things

Soon. I had to settle many subtle things about that. I underwent a completely new level of initiation, I made that world famous, "known-by-everybody-yet-believed-in-by-nobody" thing of "selling the soul". The stuff I went through since the very night have been astounding.

 

8 hours ago, steve25805 said:

I have also noticed that you and I have been interacting much less than we used to. Sometimes when I post something it can be many days before you notice it, so I get the impression that you yourself are a bit semi-detached sometimes

Yes yes, you were right, I actually admitted and apologized, you are right!!! My life was turned upside down, and I missed the same pull as before, this is something I have to admit. My show-up has been quite timid recently.

 

8 hours ago, steve25805 said:

And you are my friend, because of which I miss the intensity of our interactions. We just seem to be engaging with each other a lot less

Life called each of us somewhere else, no shame in this. Both of us fought, inside just as much as outside. A mourning in November, bankrupt of my Company in december, and then the ritual I was hinting about before. I have been busy ahahahah

 

8 hours ago, steve25805 said:

You are though - and always will be for as long as you choose to remain active here - one of the star attractions for me here, the foremost star attraction. Because when you post, it is not just about pee but so much more. Which will always be fascinating for me, however impaired my libido may be.

Oh Goddess this is pne of the most heart-touching thing I ever read!!! THANK YOU!!!

 

8 hours ago, steve25805 said:

love you as a true friend. I will try and think up some interesting new off-topic discussion threads and see what response they get

Beware, something happened these weeks. We got REALLY LITTLE TRAFFIC. Don't get hurt if they go ignored. I won't waste chances of interacting with you anyway!!!

Ps this weekend will be Valentine's day, maybe I will be most offline if you see what I mean… but I won't fail you as a friend, nor your threads. Sorry if I did

 

It's good to have you back..

[steve25805 126,150]

5 hours ago, spywareonya said:

 

 

I talked about it with FannyWatcher too. He thinks it will rock consciousnesses more than to "remain&yell", but I am sad you leave anyway. But indeed, EU must change, it's not you who failed us, it's EU who failed each state, UK more than any I still believe in the European Dream, but we must change. I just hoped it could happen without parting ways.

To be fair, FannyWatcher and I have very different politics and very different views on Brexit. I see it as a bad thing and believed in a wider European ideal. I voted to Remain. But he is as entitled to his views as I am to mine.

The EU definitely needs reform and democratisation though, and the fact that more and more east European members are embracing semi-fascism is also a worry. As well as an east-west divide in the EU, there is also a north-south one, with the northern states often imposing crushing austerity on the southern ones.

[spywareonya 37,962]

9 minutes ago, steve25805 said:

To be fair, FannyWatcher and I have very different politics and very different views on Brexit. I see it as a bad thing and believed in a wider European ideal. I voted to Remain. But he is as entitled to his views as I am to mine.

Yes, I respect both his sterness and your foresight. Indeed, though different, you guys are among my favourite. A hand should never become a foot and viceversa, but both are utterly mandatory for health. And I understand both his concerns, and yours. I, personally, stand for "remain", but I can dig his anger about UK becoming a trash bin for the problems EU longitudinally failed to filter from South and East.

 

9 minutes ago, steve25805 said:

The EU definitely needs reform and democratisation though, and the fact that more and more east European members are embracing semi-fascism is also a worry. As well as an east-west divide in the EU, there is also a north-south one, with the northern states often imposing crushing austerity on the southern ones.

 

Yes, this is the real enemy now. MAYBE Brexit will make them understand people are angry against all of this. At least that could bring some evolution into a moment I see as really bad for EU and UK

[WantonLee 861]

On 2/11/2019 at 11:59 PM, spywareonya said:

On 2/11/2019 at 10:20 PM, WantonLee said:

Nancy, I am not quite sure what you expect us to do. Or what you think this forum is. Or what you think we are, or how we live our lifes. Or why you choose to be so invested in this forum in particular, and not in an other forum (what ever forum this might have been). Apart from the pee-thing, there appears to be very little common ground for people here to stand on (which in my experience is often the case, regardless of what the topic of the forum is).

Intensity in everything you do, just because you know that either you are intense or you are wasting your life, is a choice. It has nothing to do with common ground. People should just realize they have no reason to abstain from pressing the reaction button or write a quick, happy comment beneath a post

 

(...)

Even the most shy and embarassed and doomed-by-his-own-demons human can simply decide to grin an lash out instead of cowering in fear in front of life. It's not about being strong. Is about understanding the fact that

EACH OF US BUILD THE WORLD. WHAT WORLD DO YOU WANT TO BUILD WITH EACH CHOICE YOU MAKE?

I think most people here are aware that they have no reason to react to or comment on a post. Again, I can only speak for myself here: simply reacting to a post by selecting one of the many reaction-emotes feels shallow to me (and I mean comming from me, not receiving it). I only react if something really interests (or triggers) me, which is not often the case. You might say I am narrow-minded. In any case, if I want to react, then only in form of a written text.

My problem here is not only that I am often lost in translation, but I am always lost in my own head. By that I mean that I can't put words around what I feel about something, or what I think about it (note that thinking does not necessarily require words). And not only in English, also in my native tongue.

Also, I tend to approach an idea or a problem from multiple angles, and this requires time... time I often don't have.

I am simply not able to give short, quick and witty one-liners as an answer. And with the limited time I have, I find myself often in the situation of either giving a short, but not very well thought out answer, or none at all. And since I don't like the first option, I choose not to reply at all.

(Note: writting this answer so far took me twenty (20!) minutes. Just to find the right words... and I haven't even spellchecked anything yet.)

On the second part of your answer - the one about building the world: my problems are different then what you wrote. But this is not the place for talking about it.

 

On 2/11/2019 at 11:59 PM, spywareonya said:

On 2/11/2019 at 10:20 PM, WantonLee said:

- like bait - and see who bites. But not much else.

I am NOT against that. I give stuff that makes people biting. Unless they are spellbound by the IHS. People spellbound by it, simply refuse to cheer up anything. They are possessed by a subtle nihilism that brings them to be Always un-grateful.

I take it you talk about alienation? If this is the case - yes, I feel a great numbness all around me, too. I do not think I can give a meaningful answer to this topic at this point, and think this should be discussed separately. But some food for thoughts: I am under the impression that the more people are around you and close to you (like living in a big apartment block), the more distant people become. As if the lack of physical distance is being compensated by spiritual distance... . This might totally be a me-thing, and other people actually like to live right next to each other, but for me this means stress. I can't relax if there's to many people around, or to much noise. If this does not shed a good light on me, well... it's just the way I am.

 

On 2/11/2019 at 11:59 PM, spywareonya said:

On 2/11/2019 at 10:20 PM, WantonLee said:

the more I have to read, and the less chance I have to make a contribution

OK, I can dig that, but try to think otherwise: more chances to communicate, more chances to achieve FRENZY, which is the core of Enlightment. You are Deutch, aren't you? Vikings descends from Deutches. YOUR people invented the Berzerk. Odin Himself meant "Frenzied". 

Vikings, as far as I know, are Danish descendants.

Anyway, I am able to give quick replies. But I tend to babble then, and I don't like this. If reduced to babbling, I tend to make a fool of myself this way. I really don't see how tis could led to Enlightment. 😉

Apart from that, I do not see any connection between frenzy and enlightment.

 

 

On 2/11/2019 at 11:59 PM, spywareonya said:

On 2/11/2019 at 10:20 PM, WantonLee said:

Let's face it: most people came to this forum because they have some kind of pee fetish (as you know there is a wide variety, not just one).
They want to get some videos, pictures or stories to turn them on. Talk about it, again for a turn on.

Then why they ignore my nude pics or pee videos, which are peer to most of the stuff found on the web, plus the one starring in them is more than willing to friendly chat?! If I uploaded my stuff on Pornhub now I would be world famous. But I chosed this forum. Because it's a GREAT place. Among the best of the world. Or at least, it was. Now, it's greatly down-tone… 

For me, this fetish is a very private thing. Ideally - for me -  it would be something that is strictly between me and my partner, and I would not talk openly about it. For me, thats part of the intimacy, and is very precious to me. I am not the kind of guy who gains anything from shouting out to the world - especially very private, intimate things.

This in turn means that I am not very openly and loudly cheer people on when they reveal something intimate.

And your pictures and videos (the once I can see) certainly are very intimate.

(Btw. I can't find the thread where you posted your pictures; it's either very hidden or I am not very good at finding things. )

Hmm, I don't really think I can express what I feel or want to say, without making myself look bad. So I won't try. But I remember that you wrote somewhere about an ultimate fantasy of your's, where you would want to pee in fromnt of a large crowd and be seen by as many people as possible (correct me, if I'm wrong).

Let's just say I am the total opposite of you, in that regard. Like polar opposite. The entire pee fetish is - essentially - something between me and my partner (which I currently lack).

That might be why I am rather reserved when it comes to talking about it, or even just liking pictures. I do like pictures or videos if they really trigger me. Maybe I am just to picky. Maybe I just don't browse the forum often enough to see anything.

And to be quite frank some of the pictures of you I did not like. Not because I don't like you, but because I did not like what you did. (I am not into EVERY aspect of the fetish, and some things I actually dislike). And I will not "like" a picture just because I like the person. That would feel like lying to me.

 

On 2/11/2019 at 11:59 PM, spywareonya said:

On 2/11/2019 at 10:20 PM, WantonLee said:

You even have made a couple of people thing differently about their fetish. Me, for instance.

This is because I love instinctively everybody, stopping only when they fail me. But I wasn't born so filled with light. My Path made me this way. What I propose about being more tight as a community… is good from experience. People should reflect on my advices. But everybody feel so blue and detached recently!!!

I don't even know If we have a community - at least in the way want it to be. How many people here are replying on a regular basis? How many are just lurking. Looking for something to arrouse them (pictures, stories, etc.)?

I can't say where the detachment comes from.

But I think that you can't reach out to all the people in this forum. I still suspect the vast majority is not here for deep philosophical, spiritual or scientific conversations. It's just the nature of the forum.

I am sorry that I can not give you an uplifitig or positive answer.

The only thing that comes to my mind in the moment is a quote from a politican (and from all the things I have heared politicans say it is the only one that I consider quoteworthy): "One has to take people as they are - there aren't any other." I interprete this quote as "You can't change people. You have to deal with them as they are, and on their level. You can not (and should not) replace them."

You will not be able to reach out to everyone. But maybe someone you have reached out to will be able to reach out to someone you haven't reached yet.

 

I would like to go on, but it is now 2 hours after I started this reply, and I feel everything else you wrote I kind of already answered, in one way or another. Whether or not my answers are satisfying I can't tell, but then again it was not my intention to satisfy.

 

Maybe - as I suggested before - the topic of alienation deserves a separate topic...?

I don't know. You decide. I'm off to bed now. 😛

[spywareonya 37,962]

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

In any case, if I want to react, then only in form of a written text

Likes helps people build visibility, and visibility is a tool to be put in the service of one's goal, that in my case is to cuddle great-yet-lost people like you. I need a lot of reputation points thus reacting to my stuff is never shallow. Answering is Amazing, but if you have not time to craft a complicated thread in a Language which is not your own, then simply react. To me it's not unimportant. I need visibility.

 

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

the one about building the world: my problems are different then what you wrote.

I meant that regardless of what they are, holy anger resides in everybody. Crafting it in the unrestrainable will to partecipate to life is a chance open to everybody!

 

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

alienation

exact. and also all the stuff you wrote after. With the only difference/add that I think we can make this system bug first, and crush at last

 

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

Vikings, as far as I know, are Danish descendants.

But Danish are descendants of tribes first stationing in Germany. I studied paleo-anthropology, is mandatory for a Witch!

 

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

I do not see any connection between frenzy and enlightment

Which is exactly why you are the way you sometimes denounce about. You lack trust in the fact that enthusiasm is both a medicine and a duty, not a consequence of casual happiness. Enlightment is about understanding the true nature of existence, the mind, and our role in it. And that answer is frenzy, clinched by an unconscious background of firm-yet-simple morality. Building both that morality and that frenzy is the reason we exist. After twenty years studying psychology and all cultures, and a lifetime involvement in the occult, I can tell you that. 

 

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

For me, this fetish is a very private thing

I understand. Also what you wrote after (I just hate to quote exceedingly long portions, I find it unaesthetical).

 

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

I can't find the thread where you posted your pictures; it's either very hidden or I am not very good at finding things

https://peefans.com/topic/10550-the-complete-revelation-of-nancy/

 

 

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

And to be quite frank some of the pictures of you I did not like

Fascinated to talk about it with you. Which, and why?

 

On ‎2‎/‎20‎/‎2019 at 1:03 AM, WantonLee said:

One has to take people as they are - there aren't any other

That's why I am an Anarchist and not a politician. Politicians wants to be re-elected. Thus they must be loved. And which is the most disgusting way to be loved by the stupid  majority sorrounding us? Boasting their Egos. Telling them they are fine the way they are. It's not about realism, is a sly deal between people's lack of backspine, and politicians' desire to be considered a good person. it's bying sympathy with treats.

I don't want to buy sympathies. I have traveled a lifetime in Death-danger and mind-crushing, suicide-edging situations. Now I am enlightened, and I want to fight Society. The first thing is to notify people they are NOT fine. We aren't, Wanton, we simply aren't! And we MUST change. Evolution is not a right, is a DUTY. I just try to make it more pleasurable, helping people to become stronger. The world will become Always less good for weak-willed people. People MUST become stronger or they will feel cornered. They can follow the Path I am setting in front of them, prepared to meet both their current form and the one they must reach in due time, or find themselves late for the last train departing.

 

 

I love pee and I come here to have fun. It would be a boastful lie to claim elsewhere. BUT all I do, thus here included, is about crafting people. As Nietzsche said: "Humans are just a turning point between apes and the Over-Human. They must not remain stuck where they are"

A kiss, and thank you from the heart